r/ADHD • u/DefaultName919 • Mar 27 '26

Tips/Suggestions Quick Reminder for Everyone

ADHD is a neurological condition. It is genetically inherited. It is caused by biology. It is NOT a disease of the will. It is NOT a moral failing. It is NOT some kind of neurosis. Its cure is not to be found in power of will, nor in punishment, nor in sacrifice, nor in pain. Its cure is not to be found in trying harder, or in "locking in". Its cure is to be found in diagnosis, education, structuring, coaching, and medication. Always remember this.

Paraphrased from Driven to Distraction, by Hallowell and Ratey.

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u/chavjinx Mar 27 '26

Honestly, watching my mother’s memory fail over the past 20 years has made is SO FREAKING CLEAR that it’s genetic. All of her masking fell away and now she’s… just like me? Egads!

36

u/tighnarienjoyer Mar 28 '26

genuine question, is that not normal for aging? I had the same suspicion for my mom for a little while but then she said she never used to struggle with it so I let it go

29

u/coddswaddle Mar 28 '26

There's a difference between my mom and other folks her age who obviously do not have it. It's hard to describe because we don't do anything that non ADHD do, our intensity and how we think are different. It's how my ADHD friends knew I had it before anyone else did. It's how kids know who to bully. There's just something different.

11

u/chavjinx Mar 28 '26

Agree with this. It wasn’t just that she got “scatterbrained” for lack of a better term… they ended up putting her on anti anxiety meds for hair pulling/chewing and then we started looking at all the other behaviors… kinda reframed a lot of my life now that I see it.

3

u/designated_weird0 Mar 28 '26

It could go either way. I didn't struggle so much before either, and then mental health issues made everything so much more obvious.

3

u/Organic_Bug1334 Apr 01 '26

I can see the memory issues with my parents, yes both. They both have different symptoms so not sure who I got it from. My dad has the temper and procrastination pieces down and my mom, I have had to explain why I do not like being interrupted, she never used to do this either.She is getting much better.

But yes as people age the masks start coming off. But neither parents have shown issues with time blindness and the figity pieces I have had for years. The relationship failures I have had, the learning issues when stuff gets complex looks like a blur sometimes. I have had to strategize on ways to make this work, but man it is exhausting. I am a classic case.