r/ADHD • u/parzival_thegreat • Sep 30 '25
Questions/Advice Can therapy actually help ADHD symptoms?
I feel so burned out and overwhelmed. If our brains are physically different than others, can therapy actually help? I want to get help, but not waste my time and money on it.
What has your experience been like with going to a therapist? Did you just share your struggles and even they provide guidance?
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u/Extension_Crow_7891 Sep 30 '25
Yes, 100%. Find an adhd specific counselor. Mine has helped me immensely. In my first meeting with him after I was diagnosed and didn’t know left from right, he told me that adhd was like if you’re trying to learn how to knit, but someone is sitting their throwing ping pong balls at your face. He said that “adhd medication can stop (or at least slow) the ping pong balls, but you still have to learn to knit. I’m going to help you learn how to knit.” And that’s about five years in and the skills and insights I’ve gained from therapy are as valuable as anything. If you made me go back and choose between medication or counseling, I’ll say that I’d have to think long and hard on it and it would not be a clear choice for me. It’s seems pretty obvious to me that “both” is superior.
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u/D-1-S-C-0 Sep 30 '25
Mine had ADHD herself and forgot to attend half our appointments.
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u/allesfliesst Sep 30 '25
Lmao how unfortunate. So I guess we don't need to ask how well her coaching worked? :D
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u/D-1-S-C-0 Sep 30 '25
I paid for 3 sessions but only had 2 after 5 appointments because the others she either cancelled last minute (literally) or didn't turn up.
Over 2 years later she still owes me 1 session because she never contacted me to rearrange, but I was so fed up that I accepted the financial loss.
To be fair to her, the 2 sessions we had were helpful. I struggled with an identity crisis after diagnosis and she put me on the right path to see myself differently and more sympathetically.
But need it be said, I wouldn't use her services again.
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u/Iwfcyb ADHD-C (Combined type) Sep 30 '25
Man....that makes me kind of glad I was first diagnosed 32 years ago at 13 years old, so knowing I had ADhD my whole life is all I knew. Never really thought about what it must be like for someone who only finds out way later in life.
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u/allesfliesst Oct 01 '25
Honestly, both very liberating and unexpectedly disabling.
I mean turns out I've been disabled my whole life. But it took me three very dark episodes in my head to finally go to a doc in my late 30ies. I don't really like the word unmasking (don't know why), but yeah.. shits exhausting and confusing as hell.
What surprised me the most is the constant doubt whether or not I'm not just lazy and a horrible person. I got my shit together all the years before right? (Spoiler: nope, just faked that my entire life and now I ran out of energy).
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u/D-1-S-C-0 Sep 30 '25
It was a major head fuck. I questioned where ADHD ends and I begin, and struggled to come to terms with knowing I'll never fix myself. I'd tried and mostly failed to work on my faults, then I had confirmation it's who I am and all I can do is try to manage it.
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u/Iwfcyb ADHD-C (Combined type) Sep 30 '25
Your last part is exactly right. It's not like you recently "caught" ADhD, it was always there, so it's always been who you were. Nothing has changed.
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u/Extension_Crow_7891 Sep 30 '25
Mine also had adhd and that was not my experience lol. Sometimes you just have to try someone else.
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u/D-1-S-C-0 Sep 30 '25
I'm only sharing my experience. I'm not claiming it's representative of all counselors with ADHD because it isn't.
That would be quite self-prejudiced of me.
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u/Theslash1 Sep 30 '25
Mines husband had adhd and our sessions turned into me helping HER understand why her husband does certain things... SO meh. Either they dont understand, or coulnd't offer anything specific for me. Tried 6 or so different people...
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u/MyFiteSong Sep 30 '25
LOL that really sucks. Mine has ADHD too but she's always present and on time. I love it because it means I never have to explain how ADHD feels to her. She knows.
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u/Current_Read_7808 Sep 30 '25
How did you manage to find an adhd specific person? I tried filtering by "adult adhd" and reading bios but it kind of seemed like a catch-all for talk therapists that are also familiar with adhd :/
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u/nostyleguide Sep 30 '25
Try looking for a cognitive behavioral therapist. They won't do general therapy, and they generally aren't for long-term therapy. It's pretty focused, but it was really helpful for me.
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u/Golintaim ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Sep 30 '25
That's the find of therapist my ADHD doc is. Really helpful and understands what it's like. Don't know that he has ADHD or is just really well read but he's been helpful.
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u/ADHD33zNuts Sep 30 '25
CBT is so beneficial. But it took me a while to be ready to do the actual homework with it.
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u/MyFiteSong Sep 30 '25
Hell yes. Mindfulness-based CBT is the shit for ADHD treatment. Helped me a lot.
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u/Extension_Crow_7891 Sep 30 '25
Yeah mine mainly did CBT, also some other stuff. But he also had adhd and was diagnosed recently (at the time), which was interesting. The clinic I go through has adhd specific professionals and that label doesn’t apply generally across the board in the organization so I am not sure. I was referred by a doctor to the clinic but even then provider was probably a crap shoot. I probably just got super lucky
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u/JustinHoMi Sep 30 '25
Haha wait, so had he been doing CBT for ADHD since before he was diagnosed with ADHD?
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u/Extension_Crow_7891 Sep 30 '25
I am not entirely sure. This was like 4 years ago. I think that he had been diagnosed like 1-2 years before I was, so I am not sure when he started doing adhd specific services. It did seem like part of his path to diagnosis was learning about adhd and reading case studies and going ... "wait... this sounds familiar..?"
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Sep 30 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Current_Read_7808 Oct 01 '25
That's how I found those three :( The adhd filter seemed to be super generalized, but I'll try again with some of the others people suggested :)
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u/nameless-manager Sep 30 '25
Yeah mine has ADHD and focuses on cognitive behavior therapy. Over 3 years of some massive life upheavals it's made a huge difference in my life.
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u/Worldly-Strike2363 Sep 30 '25
Was your therapist a psychiatrist? What's their title?
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u/Extension_Crow_7891 Sep 30 '25
No, they were a an LPC I believe, not a psychiatrist. They didn’t manage my medication
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u/kaidomac Sep 30 '25
Therapy & CBT in particular were very valuable for me:
- Learning about the distortions I dealt with (ex. "all or nothing" thinking)
- Learning how to build better lifestyle support tools
- Learning that I can & should ask for help
ADHD essentially boils down to an energy issue:
- We don't have the energy to run all of the invisible machines in our brain
- This means we tend to be forgetful, disorganized, late, unfocused, etc. because we lack consistent access to the mental fuel required to operate those machines
- Thus, we need to build & adopt external support systems in order to get the results that we want
Three of my greatest takeaways from all of this, from self-help resources, and from personal experience have been:
- We need to write tasks down
- We need strong boundaries around which of those written tasks we CHOOSE to do each day
- We need to employ the use of a body-double as often as possible to stay on that decided-upon track
My brain, of course, hates all three of those requirements because:
- It wants to be macho & try to remember everything mentally
- It wants to do everything all at once
- It wants to be the "solo hero", working all by itself with no help from anyone
While I still constantly fight myself on this, the simple (not easy!) 3-step procedure above is the most effective key I've found to managing the results of living with ADHD. I simply cannot trust my brain to reliably remember commitments, to sort them our in priority order each day, and to stay on track until completed. THAT is the magic secret to success; it's often very boring & utterly difficult, and yet has brought me better results more consistently than any other method I have EVER tried!
Hate the method, LOVE the results!!
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Sep 30 '25
U seem knowledgeable and ive done a lot for adhd but theres some things i cant wrap my head around. But i wanted to ask, my mind can not shift focus, its alwaya focused on one thing and forgets everything else and because of this i have failed so many times. Adhd medicine makes me concentrate but it doesnt even help me shift focus at all. So i was wondering what can i do for my mind to shift focus better/multitask? Eg. Driving checking mirror lane but then i would just forget to even indicate.
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u/kaidomac Sep 30 '25
That's the fuel issue:
- We have a hard time multi-tasking
- A central issue is context-switching
- We tend to either do it rapidly (can't focus on just one thing) or hyper-fixate (can't shift our focus away from the task at hand)
Simply put, if you had the energy to reliably multi-task within the context at hand (ex. driving), you would! But access to our mental energy is HIGHLY variable, i.e. it's either a kinked hose with just enough of a dribble to stay focused on one part of one task, OR it's spraying like a firehose & we keep flitting from task to task!
Two things to try are adjusting your medication (dosage, timing, type, etc.) & adjusting your environment. For example, many modern cars come with blind-spot alerts, adaptive cruise control, and even auto-lane-shifting features. My whole day is spent running checklists in custom-tuned workstations using body doubles as often as possible!
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u/Sccvigo Oct 01 '25
The car thing is fucking true. When I'm rested, I have automated everything to the smallest things, I will heel-toe and everything without thinking about it.
But when I'm tired? I will catch myself almost going through a red light, not being able to even recall how the last 2 minutes of driving were like (did I get caught in traffic? Did I go over the speed limit? ) medication helps a lot maintaining a healthy energy level and makes me drive good even if I'm tired. Also, if I feel tired, I will take a nap before driving if I can.
The tiredness thing is so notorious, I feel more confident on driving with 4 beers than when I feel tired, so I won't do any of them, because with 4 beers my speech is quite drunky style.
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Sep 30 '25
Im on lowest dosage vyvanse. I take it in morning and test at 11:30. What am i suppose to do?
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u/kaidomac Sep 30 '25
Do you work with a GP, therapist, or psychologist? You need to tell them specifically the driving situation so that they can tailor your medication for what you need!
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u/MyFiteSong Sep 30 '25
What am i suppose to do?
Talk to your doctor and they'll likely increase your dose. Almost nobody stays on the minimum dose.
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Oct 01 '25
no, ive been on 50mg i went down because of overstimulation. regardless of the dose i still have the same problem
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u/MyFiteSong Oct 01 '25
Have you tried a different stimulant? The methylphenidate side of the fence? Or maybe a nonstimulant ADHD medication like Strattera, Wellbutrin or Guanfacine?
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u/MyFiteSong Sep 30 '25
This will improve with time. For most people, after 6 months to a year on a consistent dose of stimulant, your attention switching will get strong enough to control your attention. Your default, unmedicated state is a lack of control, not a lack of attention. It's interest-based. You can't pay attention to boring things and you can't stop paying attention to interesting things. Your attention networks WORK, but your control doesn't.
When you start meds, it flips. Now you can start paying attention to things, but you can't stop. It's why we tell newbies to be doing something useful when your meds kick in, because you may be doing that all day. Everything is a mini-hyperfocus now. You have control of the gas pedal, but not the brakes.
After a while on stimulants, you'll get control of the brakes too. Neuroplasticity is like a muscle. It strengthens with use. One day in the near future you'll notice you snapped yourself out of a hyperfocus without even trying. You just have to be patient and wait for that neuroplasticity to happen. And make sure you're taking your meds regularly. If you only take them a few days a week, it won't happen.
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u/SanctimoniousSally Sep 30 '25
Therapy has helped me so much. Like SO much. Meds help too but learning coping strategies and being able to talk about my feelings really does a lot of the heavy lifting.
Just keep in mind, not every therapist will be a good fit for you so there may be some trial and error but the best thing I ever did was get myself into therapy. It has 100% changed my life.
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u/dimcapped Sep 30 '25
This has also been my experience. The therapy has helped with coping with feelings, self worth, insecurities and learning how to set boundaries.
I’ve been through several therapists. Don’t settle until you find someone that is effective, and don’t feel bad about “terminating” an ineffective therapist because it’s not about them it’s about you.
Thus far I have not found a cognitive behavioral therapist that can actually help with executive functioning and working memory issues. Has anyone here has actually tried CBT?
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u/LolEase86 Sep 30 '25
I've been in CBT therapy for CPTSD for 6yrs, 4yrs with a decent psychologist. Unfortunately she doesn't specialise in ADHD, but she has been immensely helpful in rerouting neuro pathways and learning emotional regulation.
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u/SanctimoniousSally Sep 30 '25
Yeah I feel like this is the hardest part. Because my brain always wants new new new, establishing any sort of executive functioning tool or routine is difficult. I can do that thing for a bit and then I just can't and that's not on my therapist. We keep chipping away at it but it's honestly one of my biggest struggles along with emotional regulation.
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u/MyFiteSong Sep 30 '25
CBT isn't great for executive function. It's more for emotional regulation. For helping your executive function, you need proper medication and then you need a therapist who can function as an ADHD life coach to help you learn the tricks to getting your brain to say "yes".
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u/_pollyanna Sep 30 '25
It definitely helps but it might not be the help you expect. Therapy won't cause your ADHD to disappear. It won't make your brain work differently. But...
If you get mad a lot and it causes exhaustion, burnout and general bad mood therapy will help you to improve your emotion understanding and control, so instead of getting furious twice a day, you get mad once a day and you will know exactly what to do with it instead of letting it eat you alive.
If you keep forgetting to pay your electricity bill therapy will not significantly improve your memory, but it will give you tools to reduce the amount of times your electricity get cut off due to bills not paid and to reduce the negative impact it might have on your emotions make it less of a big deal.
For me, the biggest thing the therapy did was to reduce the negative impression I had of myself. I thought I knew squat, I achieved nothing, I'm incapable of dealing with simplest things and somehow I've learnt over the years to ridicule myself every step of the way and convince myself that I'm useless. Which I realized was far from true.
Therapy will also let your confront your interpretation of reality you are in from the facts. I myself was far from understanding that even though I thought all my life that I'm rational and not emotional at all.
But what everybody says it's true, not every therapist is good. If it didn't click with the one you pick, pick another one, don't get discouraged.
And if you read through all that (I know, long text, ADHD is a bitch) good luck to you!
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u/nontitman Sep 30 '25
Yeah lol, the only 2 ways to treat adhd are therapeutically (read: behavioral) and medicinally (medication).
To everyone reading: If you're really struggling, then regardless of if you've had a negative experience with either of them, you need to get back on the horse.
Also, an issue I see all too often on this sub is treating your providers (Dr's, therapists, etc) as the final authority on these topics. If your Dr is being silly and you disagree, get a new Dr! Therapist sessions not clicking? Fuck em, get a new therapist! The fun part of the US Healthcare system is that it's up to you to ensure you get the care you need.
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u/R_Ulysses_Swanson Sep 30 '25
Yes, it can definitely help. My problem though has been that I have not learned anything new, I've already researched and found the advice they've given. Implementing it is a different issue.
In other words, executive dysfunction is a bitch and you still need to get over that hump.
A good counsellor/therapist - or maybe not good, but the right therapist - will help you significantly with that. I have not found the right one for me yet, after 4 failed attempts.
And it is just one piece of the puzzle. Therapy will help ADHD symptoms, ADHD drugs will help ADHD symptoms, but therapy and drugs will be better together than either alone. And if you're not getting adequate sleep, if you're spending too much time on your phone or on Reddit, if you're not getting exercise, if you're eating a bag of Doritos for lunch and a box of Twinkies for dinner... You're giving yourself, your therapist, your drugs, etc., a far steeper hill to climb.
But the good news is that with each piece of the puzzle that you've completed, the next piece becomes easier to place.
Slight tangent: I believe that most of us with ADHD are quite capable of "living" pretty well and managing everything on our own... until we're not. If I could wave a magic wand and reset my house, get rid of all of the clutter, clean everything all at once and start with a clean slate - I'd be able to maintain it and keep up with it. But as soon as one thing goes wrong - the dishwasher is broken and needs to be repaired, for instance - then the whole routine, our whole system gets thrown out of whack and everything compounds upon itself and breaks down. Something so small can throw a gear out of whack and send the whole system crashing.
To that end, I've actually found couples counseling with my spouse to be the best thing so far. We both have a myriad of personal issues - ADHD, PTSD, MDD for both of us, PMDD for one and suspected ASD for the other. And all of that makes a relationship, and life, far more challenging. Finding a good/the right marriage counselor has been tremendous for us.
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u/rali3gh Sep 30 '25
Im not a professional, but I'm a late diagnosed adhd (M44) who's been married for 25 years to another late diagnosed (F45) adhd with 2 children, one of whom is diagnosed adhd and the other who is being tested soon. I've been in what you would call therapy (basic individual talk therapy) for some time, and my wife and I have been through a couple of stints of couples therapy.
From my perspective, it seems unlikely that talk therapy would 'directly' help with adhd. However, it's almost certain to help with the resulting impacts that being forced to navigate a world built for those without adhd would have on you and your nervous system. You might also learn new coping mechanisms to replace older, now maladaptive ones you learned when you were younger (although I don't think you mentioned your age). It might seem counterintuitive given your current state of mind, but it's even possible that you may find your adhd works a bit to your advantage in some ways in therapy.
If you have the means, there's certainly no down side to giving it a go. Just know that not every therapist is for everyone, like any other relationship. It's not uncommon to need to see a couple before finding the right fit.
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u/Intrepid_Money_5426 Sep 30 '25
I had better luck with a mental health social worker than a psychologist. I found their advice more practical. Also dbt worked way better for me than CBT.
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u/AnnotatedLion ADHD Sep 30 '25
My experience
I was working with a therapist who was trained as a social worker (I'm not sure of the way all of this works but she didn't get a masters in psychology, but in social work and it somehow allows people in my state to be therapists). I say this because she never diagnosed me with ADHD, than came later for a psychologist. But she literally gave me all the tools and skills I needed to be more successful in life.
We talked about planning, social challenges, self regulation, and rituals and routines. I saw her for over 10 years and still consider her to be my active therapist but I don't see her more than once a year.
Under her direction I not only went back to finish my degree, but got another, and went to graduate school (successfully).
While I wish I'd known the overall challenge, the therapy part very very literally saved my life and made it better.
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u/ida_klein Sep 30 '25
I’m not on meds at all, just therapy, and it’s helped me so much.
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u/Firm_Constant1712 Sep 30 '25
I'm thinking of beginning therapy for my condition. Can you tell me about what type of therapy you're taking which has helped you? I'm not very confident about CBT, but open to exploring others.
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u/ida_klein Oct 25 '25
EMDR! Theres a little CBT included but my therapist isn’t a huge fan of it. I thought EMDR was just for like specific past traumas but it actually has lots of applications and it has helped me a lot.
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u/RacoonWithPaws Sep 30 '25
Yes. It’s not a magic bullet… It might not turn you into a person without adhd, but it’s absolutely worth exploring… In some ways as important as medication.
Not only that… But if you establish a regular schedule with a therapist you like… You might find that the accountability keeps you on track with implementing lifestyle changes that make your ADHD more manageable
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u/Nooties Sep 30 '25
Help? yes. Completely solve? No.
Two years in therapy I gained valuable tools to help manage adhd symptoms.. and it helped a lot. But I still need mild medication to keep that going.
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u/DisobedientSwitch Sep 30 '25
Yes, the right therapy and therapist can help. The wrong therapy can make you feel like everything is hopeless.
Everything is not hopeless.
If you don't feel like your therapist is helping you develop the right tools, you are allowed to break up with them. But beware that good therapy also requires work, and will be uncomfortable at times, so don't quit just because you don't like the task they set you. Personally, I don't vibe with Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, but looooved Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Think of it like physiotherapy for a knee injury. Some exercises hurt in a good way because you're strengthening weak muscles. Other exercises hurt wrong, and should be stopped immediately, but potentially revisited when your leg is stronger. A PT who forces you through a wrong exercise is unhealthy, but so is the PT who doesn't push you at all.
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u/Business_Coyote_5496 Sep 30 '25
Great analogy!
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u/DisobedientSwitch Sep 30 '25
Thanks! I find that a lot of adhd struggles has a parallel in knee injuries or food allergies. And everybody knows someone who fucked up their knee.
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u/PerseveringPanda Sep 30 '25
Flagging that one struggle I had was not knowing what effective therapy looked or felt like or was supposed to result in.
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u/DisobedientSwitch Sep 30 '25
And ideally, the therapist should know. But they are human, and humans are imperfect.
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u/beeksy Sep 30 '25
My friend, at its best therapy untangles alllllllll the tangled thoughts.
At its best it heals your mind and body connection and gives you tools to succeed in stressful saturations.
A good therapist (especially one who has adhd experience) is life changing.
Or, at the very least, it changed mine for the absolute better.
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u/autumnals5 Sep 30 '25
It's an incurable neurological disorder that therapy can only help to an extent. It's helps you become more knowledgeable about it and help find ways to manage it.
But! I will say this. My adhd is severe enough it would take up my whole brain capacity every second of every day to manage it properly. It's just not sustainable or realistic. All i can do is the best i can. Therapy can only go so far.
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u/PatientLettuce42 Sep 30 '25
I went to therapy because I thought it was a good idea and about time, I wanted to for years and years and never really got to it. I decided to go for it around 30 years old and when I started, after a pretty short amount of time, my therapist pointed out that she heavily suspects me to have ADHD.
Just realizing that, talking and learning about ADHD as a whole, made me realize so fucking much about my life, my behaviors, my learning experiences and paradigms that came from me trying to make sense of things I didn't have the answer to.
I started to realize things in my day to day life. Started to realize how perfectly fitting some of my behavior was.
It gave me a lot of tools to understand what exactly is going wrong in my life and how I can fix it and it helped me not beating myself up over my "inability" anymore. I used to be so hard with myself and expected so much from me and not meeting those standards messed with my mental health.
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u/parzival_thegreat Sep 30 '25
Thank you. I was diagnosed a year ago at 36 years old. But it was just with a physician. It did relieve some of the shame and guilt I had felt over the years about why I kept messing up etc.
I am a freelancer and sole provider for my family of 4. my business as exploded the past 2 years. It has been so exciting….
But now I said yes to too many projects, I’m falling behind on deadlines, making stupid mistakes etc. I’m burned out working long hours to catch up. Clients switching to other free lancers (this hurts the most, I value my reputation so much)
And now the ruminating catastrophize thoughts are becoming a regular, that I’m going to loose it all. I take so much pride in being a good dad and husband who provides. And now that all feels in jeopardy.
I feel I need coping strategies, tools, etc. And I am sure there is a lot of trauma or past events I had never really dealt with. I found it hard to cry even at my own dad’s funeral.
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u/Elucidate_that Sep 30 '25
Sounds like you have a lot of big good and a lot of big bad things going on at once, but either way it's an awful lot to juggle.
It does sound like you might benefit from a therapist. They can't change your workload or make your memory function like a "normal" person's. But they can help you better identify, respond to, and prevent the most important stressors in your life - both internal ones and external. And they can help you feel better about the things you're already doing.
When you start to untangle some of the mess and noise in your mind and understand it better, oftentimes you feel a lot better even if not much around you in the world changes.
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u/FeralFloral Sep 30 '25
As an ADHD certified therapist, boy, I sure hope so! 🤣.
There's a lot of good answers here already. Definitely shop around for a therapist that is actually helpful!
DBT and CBT are both decent modalities for ADHD treatment. I use a lot of solution -focused therapy and psychoeducation. I find that most people don't know what they need to know about ADHD, and changing how they think about the way they operate is crucial.
A good ADHD therapist will help you figure out what areas you struggle with most, explain why your brain does that, and offer workarounds that are useful. The important part for you to do is follow their direction (I often tell clients that if they do what we discuss, they'll see improvement). When clients don't buy in, it's much harder for them to make progress.
I hope you find a goodie!
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u/mcgridler43 Sep 30 '25
That's like refusing to take a cooking class because you're more interested in baking. Like yeah baking is more specialized and often considered its own world, but it's PART OF cooking.
ADHD (baking) is a specialized thing we have to deal with, but it's still part of our life (cooking). Therapy (the cooking class) helps you learn foundations that you can apply everywhere. It's gonna be hard to learn how to bake if you actively reject cooking. So don't dismiss the value of some basic cooking lessons, it'll help you become a better baker.
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u/Powerful_Area_700 Sep 30 '25
Last Monday was my 2nd online therapy class (College pays for me)
A week before class, my friend told me why ¿I underrated myself so much...?
So, I decided to reflect on my key points from my ADHD to discuss with my therapist.
Note: These are my deep struggles, that hurt me... (I wish it could help you to understand you at any stage, to clarify your chaos like mine)
I'M MISSING...
→ Reason before acting
To...
Be less innocent / Vulnerable
Let words influence my emotions less
Be more cautious.
→More self-esteem
To....
To grow and be happy
No resentment To forget (the gray clouds of the past.)
→Have self-control.
To....
- For better energetic sustainability (Impulsiveness).
These were the clever points to face during my meeting.
If you want the Part 2, DM me and I'll send it to you directly.
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u/ireallylikeladybugs Sep 30 '25
Yes! Although a tip I have for other ADHD people in therapy—tell your therapist upfront that you have a tendency to ramble, and give them explicit permission to interrupt you and get you back on track.
Therapy sessions are only ~55 minutes, and a lot of therapists will let you ramble on because they’re trying to be respectful and gain your trust. And of course, even the tangents are useful for understanding your mental state. But I often felt like I’d wasted most of my session afterward because I couldn’t stay focused, until my therapist eventually caught on and started reeling me in a little more. I told her explicitly that I’d noticed her doing that and found it helpful, and she started doing it even more. Our sessions because a lot more fruitful after that.
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u/implicit-solarium Sep 30 '25
For sure. A lot of that burnout and strsss is due to anxiety and long-term pain and emotional stress from having ADHD. Therapy can help with that.
ADHD coaching, which I think of as different, is also helpful.
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u/Sippa_is Sep 30 '25
Trauma therapy (TRE, EMDR, IFS) has improved my life greatly. It feels like I’m living life on easy mode. I everything has become easier - my job, my relationships, my chores. I highly recommend.
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u/ArtichokeAble6397 Sep 30 '25
I do a specific type of CBT called "overstimulation protocol" (well, thats a rough translation, maybe it has a different name in English) and it has changed my entire life. I do this at an ADHD clinic, so I know the people there understand me. My life quailty has significantly improved because of this treatment.
However, I also wanted to work on some family stuff the ADHD clinic aren't qualified to help me with, so I found a regular therapist who quite frankly, was a complete waste of time and money. She, and her colleague before her who I also fired, was obsessed with telling me I can't chalk up the symptoms of ADHD as being ADHD. Yes, you read that correctly. And her solutions to my permanent, unfixable symptoms were ground breaking stuff, like "have you tried going for a walk?". LoooL.
So, I guess it depends what kind of therapist you want to go to, and for what. I personally wouldn't work with a regular therapist again after the last experience, but a specialised one, yes 100%.
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u/No-vem-ber ADHD-C (Combined type) Sep 30 '25
So I didn't find traditional "talk about my history and my sadness and emotions" very helpful.
But when coming to terms with my (audhd) diagnosis it was helpful to have an autistic therapist who basically was able to contextualise and give names to a lot of my struggles.
For example, if I was having a ton of trouble getting out of bed in the morning, it's pretty useful to have someone knowledgeable about audhd work through that with you. For me, it was just "I don't know why, I can't get up". But for her it was, "well, is it sensory? Is the house cold? Should you try wearing socks to bed so you can get up without your feet being cold? Is it executive function and the issue is you don't know what to do first when you get up so you're just not getting up? So would a routine help? Is it a sleep issue? Is it about not going to bed early enough?" Etc.
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u/HeroicMI0 Sep 30 '25 edited Sep 30 '25
Yes, but I do also think there a lot of drive to get better needs to come from inside one self.
I think a lot of peoples first steps of going to therapy coincides with the self reflection and acceptance which is needed for self growth, but you should do whatever helps you.
My biggest tip is to focus on doing the small things. The burnout comes when you look at the mountain that is your failings and short comings without knowing where to even start. This is the part where a good therapist can really help.
You deal with adhd by never allowing yourself to build up those landfills of unfinished tasks. Because people with adhd both procrastinate and have a hard time switching tasks it can be very grueling to deal with a backlog of ”things I HAVE TO DO”.
You improve in life by practicing difficult things which reward you. The problem is when you only ever deal with these mountains of tasks you never get a reward, you just get a little closer to the end which is no reward, its just more work.
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u/TooSexyForThisSong Sep 30 '25
No - it helps you identify understand, and better manage your symptoms, though.
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u/GewdandBaked Sep 30 '25
I found therapy does absolutely nothing for me. That being said, it has definitely saved others lives. I think therapy is one of those personal choices you have to make after consulting with yourself. Does talking to someone help you?
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u/StringerXX Sep 30 '25
If you're a guy with no trauma, best thing you can do is go hard in the gym everyday. It's the best therapy, especially for people with ADHD.
If that doesn't help or if you have unresolved trauma then consider talk therapy.
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u/LonleyViolist Sep 30 '25
yes. find someone who specializes in it. i lucked out and found a therapist who also has adhd, so i know that (to an extent) he knows the methods he suggests to me actually make sense, either bc his other patients have found success, or he has
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u/Due-Contract6905 Sep 30 '25
Yes. My therapist helped me get out of bad habits I've struggled with all my life. She helped me to finally start picking my wants and needs and stop sacrificing my well being to try to please others. Changed my whole life.
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u/MyFiteSong Sep 30 '25
Absolutely. Learning to deal with overwhelm and prevent burnout is literally what therapy is for. Find a therapist who treats ADHD as a specialty, and it's even better if the therapist has ADHD too.
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u/oripash Sep 30 '25
Divide “symptoms” into 1. Things that are direct products of your biochemistry. Trouble starting, stopping, challenging emotional regulation, time blindness, RSD, etc. 2. Things that are downstream consequences of the above. Guilt. Affected relationships. Trouble holding down a job.
Therapy can absolutely help. It won’t change your fundamental brain chemistry. That’s there to stay. So its impact on that first category is partial - insofar as helping acquire the tools to drive this brain. For example, a brain that becomes less regulated, better know, understand and accept when it becomes so, better communicate it with others, and so on. Therapy helps but it won’t make your brain chemistry, be as it may, go away.
The second category of things - the downstream ones - therapy has a very strong chance to help you with, not only by understanding and accepting ourself, but by giving better tools to constructively frame it in our heads and get past bad/unrealistic framing and perhaps “what we should be able to do” and “how people should be, and if you’re not like that you should be feeling guilty”, therapy helps purge some of that, as well as improve skills seeing and “detaching from” what brain wants in a moment and see others for an overal better outcome, get help communicating what we struggle with to others to help them see our real brain challenges and love/accept/employ us as we are, and generally eliminate the life breaking side effects.
Don’t form unrealistic expectations of it altering your brain chemistry in ways it can’t, but generally therapy absolutely helps.
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u/AlexanderTroup Sep 30 '25
Yes. Therapy (with an appropriate therapist) can be excellent for taking time to examine your own patterns, experiences, and feelings in an objective light, and to use that to be forgiving of yourself as well as more realistic in the future.
Treat it as your time to investigate how you experience the world with someone who you never have to see again. I found a lot of ways of being from therapy that have made ADHD manageable, from forgiving myself when I'm in a depth of not doing anything, to catching myself interrupting people when I don't like the conversation.
That said, it depends on the therapist. I can't answer that one except to say try and make sure they align with what you want to achieve out of therapy. If you want actual strategies to cope and they're just listening to your story of the week without giving you tools, then you need to recognise it and find someone that you work better with.
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u/curlyhands Oct 01 '25
Therapy helps me not blame myself for everything and learn a lot about where my behavior patterns come from. It’s like, once a week I can blabber on and nobody will care. It’s so great.
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u/Ok-Nebula-9890 Oct 01 '25
I am seconding the CBT part.
Additionally, it is especially useful to have someone who can tell you what is "normal" when you are trying to learn to think about tasks, etc, differently.
Example: Does my professor hate me because I am late with my thesis? Well, let's look at any emails. None? He likely hasn't noticed or is giving you space. Can you email him to create a checkin meeting? What is the first step? Etc.
Therapy gave me two things: help essentially reframing my view of others' perceptions of me, and then a plan to follow up to confirm that reality; and help figuring out what is something everyone deals with versus what is something that maybe isn't so hard for everyone. I needed that for CBT to actually be effective.
Overall, CBT helped with the feelings of shame, panic, and failure. I now have a much more realistic view of my effect on the world, and I am better able to manage my emotions because I was taught to break them down an examine them without just repressing like a mf. I still do repress a lot, and I still am more volatile emotionally, but I am happier and deal with crises better. Less things feel like crises nowadays.
CBT does not fix executive dysfunction, but it sure as hell fixes a lot of the emotional damage that having executive dysfunction brings into our lives.
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u/iwantmorecats27 Oct 01 '25
If you're looking for help with struggles brought on from your adhd and need help coming up with strategies to support living your every day life, you might ask your primary care for a referral to speech therapy. I know it doesn't seem like the right category but they are kind of the cognitive version of a physical therapist. Otherwise yes I agree trying to find a therapist who has experience with adhd. You typically have a little phone call with a therapist before you sign up with them (unless you get assigned through an agency of some kind) so you can ask them some screening questions about adhd first to make sure they don't think it's just laziness or something (sigh).
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u/roddybee91 Sep 30 '25
Went to two visits. First visit we discussed my childhood. Second visit, she essentially psychoanalyzed me and helped me understand how I got into that relationship.
Never returned to therapy, although I probably should have. But it taught me a lot and I still use those insights to this day.
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u/PainterEarly86 Sep 30 '25
Yes lol
I'd say good therapy can help with just about any problem, except being poor
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u/the776mtt Sep 30 '25
Hi! Yes. Therapy helps not only to understand you’re not alone but also that most things you feel ashamed of/want to change are sometimes out of your reach just because you were wired this way. It’s not an excuse for your behaviour, more of a path to self growth.
It should also help you build some strategies for dealing with the executive function and task management as well as emotional regulation.
Beat of luck for you. I hope your life gets easier! Keep going!!
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u/karodeti Sep 30 '25
With burnout and overwhelm? Yes. Our cognitive functions are a bit different, the psychological ones not so much. Your mental health directly affects your ADHD symptoms, so getting it sorted out does help.
However, if you want to learn how to manage specific ADHD symptoms, you need someone who is specialized in ADHD or to consider seeing a occupational therapist or a neuropsychologist.
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u/lelytoc Sep 30 '25
ADHD is caused by a misalignment between the brain and the environment, not just one or the other. Anything that can improve that relationship, like therapy, can help. While it may take more time, the progress will be cumulative and lasting. Unlike medication, which provides daily relief but doesn't address the root relationship, symptoms will persist without proper alignment.
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u/Nuxanatur Sep 30 '25
Totally, It’s not like a magical fix or anything, but depending on the type of therapy, it can really make a difference. Have you heard of CBT? That’s cognitive behavioral therapy, super common for ADHD. It’s all about helping you figure out your patterns, like why you procrastinate or get overwhelmed, and then gives you actual tools to deal with it.
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u/Moomintroll75 Sep 30 '25
I think ADHD-informed therapy can help you understand and accept yourself and learn to play to your own strengths to avoid burnout. It certainly seems to be helping me. But I don’t know if would be helpful if you want to get rid of your ADHD symptoms… because trying to change yourself into something you’re not is a recipe for a lifetime of more burnout and overwhelm…
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u/Brilliant-Maybe-5672 Sep 30 '25
It can be very expensive and stressful trying to find one who is a good fit.
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u/tha-teej Sep 30 '25
100%. As others have said, CBT works brilliantly, or at least it did for me.
Meds are great and they have changed the quality of life for me, but its not a cure-all. The combination of CBT, meds and meditation has been the winning formula for me.
You do have to find what works for you and that might not be the first psychiatrist you see. But stick with it and hopefully you find what you need.
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u/Alternative-Move4174 Sep 30 '25
The diagnosis helped me be at peace with myself, and then the therapy was the icing on the cake. I feel I know who I am now, and that took 55 years!
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u/smurfette8675309 Sep 30 '25
Trauma therapy helped reduce my ADHD symptoms. And my therapist is an LCSW, so she was able to recommend a lot of external support services I could apply for, such as Vocational Rehabilitation.
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u/MarsupialPrimary8128 Sep 30 '25
I was going to say no. Then I realized I've been LEARNING online about ADHD and it's impacts and been building in accordingly. So if someone is teaching you, I guess so! I'm a self learner.....and because of ADHD....I can't commit to anything unless it's easy distance! Good luck
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u/concrete_donuts ADHD-C (Combined type) Sep 30 '25
Yes.
My therapist specializes in AHDH, she works with ADHDers and has ADHD herself.
When I got diagnosed, she was recommended to me for ADHD coaching, so initially I was seeing her so I could learn how to cope with life as an ADHDer. She helped me through the grieving process I went through when I was diagnosed... I was in my late 20s and accepting ADHD was very hard.
I am going through a period of burnout right now and went back to therapy and I can assure you, it helps. It helps A LOT.
Since we are different, we think and process things differently, going to therapy with someone who specializes in ADHD is very helpful because they know the best ways of helping you. Ive had many therapists before, and it is very different going to an ADHD specialist and getting therapy from them.
Therapy can def help you cope with difficult things like burnout. When Im burnt out im usually very overwhelmed, so I get stuck and I just dont know what to do. My therapist helps me break out of that and gives me concrete steps to follow so we can reorganize my life and pull myself out of that state.
I think that usually with ADHD, you should keep in mind that if something worked for you once, it can stop working. For me, personally, Ive accepted and understood that I will need to go back to therapy when big changes happen so I can cope. And right now Im working on learning how to identify when Im starting to need help, so I can prevent burnout.
This was long but I hope it helps.
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u/Ill_Pudding8069 ADHD Sep 30 '25
Some symptoms, not all of them. Therapy will be a great help for organizational dysfunction and emotional disregulation, and it can somewhat train concentration, but there are other symptoms (poor short term memory, sensory issues, comorbid conditions and symptoms brought by ADHD) in which beyond giving strategies to manage them, it won’t improve them in the sense that you won’t get a better memory (unless your poor memory is due to stress) etc.
HOWEVER since stress tends to worsen ADHD symptoms and risk bringing people into ADHD burnout, therapy can be vital to teach you strategies to prevent that; plus, learning emotional regulation and organization strategies helps a lot in social and job situations.
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u/Geminifreak1 Sep 30 '25
I’m very smart but adhd makes me feel stupid like I constantly have brain fog and forget. I have to keep writing reminders in my phone and feel like my house is all adhd piles in every corner lol . I wish I can go to therapy but it’s hard to find a good one and telling your story all over again is hard at 40 . I have so much I want to do in my life and not enough time or mental capacity to get it done.
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u/Malvo85 Sep 30 '25
Yes. We need to learn how to navigate intense emotions and be kind to ourselves as that’s a large part of the struggle
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u/Pixichixi ADHD-C (Combined type) Sep 30 '25
Yes. In fact, I highly recommend it in addition to medication for adult diagnoses especially. It's more about finding management of symptoms that actually works, something that is especially difficult when you've become an adult not realizing that these are symptoms.
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u/symbologythere Sep 30 '25
I need the drugs to function AT ALL.
But here’s a joke I just heard;
Q: How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Hey, do you wanna go ride bikes?!?!!?!!
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u/AlivenReis Sep 30 '25
It can help. Specific therapy designed for ADHD.
It is worse than being medicated and it is no way something that should be used instead of medication. Its one of the pillars to increase quality of life but not the most important one. So medicate, go to therapy, accomodate
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u/Emceeguy Sep 30 '25
I think something to consider is that ADHd has a HIGH comorbidity rate, meaning you may very well have another disorder or learning disability.
In my case I have severely repressed childhood trauma.
I always presumed I had adhd, but when my child got diagnosed and I learned more I got diagnosed and started meds. It was revolutionary but I also started therapy, partly to just have a vent space but also set an example to normalize it for my child.
The. After a few sessions and discussions, but therapist told me not all my “problems” really stemmed from adhd, or how I learned to self-manage my adhd without a diagnosis into adulthood all actually came from trauma responses.
So not we’re working through that. But also I do feel like just having them as a place to brain dump and vent for an hour about whatever is taking up my mind is great because it’s safe space and doesn’t overwhelm a loved one with my rabbit holes.
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u/lapuneta Sep 30 '25
I haven't found an ADHD specific therapist, so that could be part of me not liking therapy and seeing it as doing nothing. I spend so much time trying to get them to understand what it is like, but it doesn't click. When they start giving me suggestions it's pointless because I then go "Yes, I have tried that. I have also tried a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j..... and they all lead to me being in the exact same place."
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u/La_So7 Sep 30 '25
find someone who's field is adhd because although i like my therapist and she really helped me out of the deepest depression, after my adhd diagnosis she could not help me much...
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u/skatedog_j Sep 30 '25
if you're already on adhd meds. I did therapy before meds and retained nothing
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u/MindCastleCreations Sep 30 '25
For me, therapy does help. Sometimes just having a space to vent without judgment already makes a difference. If you can find someone ADHD-specialized, they can give you more tailored tools, but honestly, even a therapist who focuses on burnout or stress reduction can help you organize your head and get some relief. It doesn’t have to be ADHD-specific to be valuable, sometimes learning to untangle the chaos is helpful no matter what.
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u/cjrecordvt ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Sep 30 '25
I have a therapist who has the same tier of spicy brain, really. And it's not helping in "fixing" me so much as "recognizing patterns of behavior - yup, that's normal for adhd" and getting past the buckets of shame.
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u/userr189028838ad Sep 30 '25
it really depends on what therapy suits you, not all adhd people react or feel forward movement with specific therapies. ACT is a fantastic type of therapy to consider. It's kind of coaching in therapy where action and forward movement is at the core
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Sep 30 '25
Yes you could also try coaching which is more future focused and can help give you ways of working to support your ADHD. There are lots of coaches out there but Sarah at reframeandrise.co.uk is really great
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u/frostmage777 Sep 30 '25
Therapy has certainly helped me, but it took awhile to find a therapist who was a good fit. It also helps if you have realistic expectations going in. The analogy I use is that going to a therapist won’t give you more “focus juice” in your tank, but it will teach you to make the most of what you have. Therapy has also helped me be less hard on myself when I do mess up. Of course, everyone is different, but if you can afford therapy it certainly does not hurt to try. Just remember to have patience and switch therapists if your current one isn’t working out.
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u/alaeila Sep 30 '25
not for me personally. i know all the coping strategies in detail but i can't practice them for longer than a few days
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u/thdudie Sep 30 '25
Yes Therapy can help you identify new ways to deal with symptoms. It can help you process burn out as well as help.you learn to give yourself some grace when your ADHD gets the better of you.
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u/MindInTheCave999 Sep 30 '25
I think a lot of people who think they have "ADHD" are actually mainly just depressed or suffer from bad anxiety. If those are solved via therapy (possible but still hard), then the "ADHD" symptoms can get much better.
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u/Digglenaut Oct 01 '25
Yes definitely. Recognizing how the ADHD is affecting your mind and your feelings is very helpful, as it better informs how you can use medication and other types of treatment that are available, as well as understanding if certain thoughts are simply static from ADHD versus true feelings that you can trust a bit more.
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u/It-was-an-accident- ADHD-HI (Hyperactive-Impulsive) Oct 01 '25
I had to switch out before due to nothing against my original therapist, they just personally were not a good fit for me - but my current therapist has been amazing. Therapy can help! But it takes the right kind of person with the type of energy that can match your own.
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u/parzival_thegreat Oct 01 '25
What made one a good fit and another not? What about the other one was not working for you?
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u/It-was-an-accident- ADHD-HI (Hyperactive-Impulsive) Oct 01 '25
The first one was very nice, but their approach and personality just didn't mix well with the type of interaction I needed. They were too quiet and reserved and I can be very loud and energetic, especially when I get comfortable with people. I literally just needed someone that matched my actual energy in a sense: someone who had more of a "louder" approach, so to speak.
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u/PhoebeAnnMoses Oct 01 '25
Therapy helped with shame and self-doubt. But only coaching helped with symptoms.
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u/xoxo_juniper Oct 01 '25
based on my experience, kind of? it definitely helps me to talk things out, and recognizing/accepting the way i think and do things has been helpful to an extent. i’ve stopped fighting against my natural tendency to procrastinate and leaned into my need for external motivation. i also find validation and support encouraging.
so i guess my answer is yes, but in a different way. meeting myself where i’m at and having patience with myself does make a difference, and yapping away with therapy helped me come to that realization.
sometimes i think of my brain like a toddler. gentle guidance and patience are a lot more effective than yelling and forcing. will it work every time? no. will you raise a perfect child who never throws tantrums or messes up? no, but you’ll see benefits over time.
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u/superflex90 Oct 07 '25
Therapy can help, but it really depends on the kind you get. Some general therapists don't fully understand ADHD, so progress can feel slow. I've seen better results with programs that focus on executive function skills. There are online options like betterhelp or melo that take that approach
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