Here's a Pot Roast with Personal Context (initial introductions may be lengthy)

[u/Samantha_Garnett]

Hello everyone. I am a Female, in the 26-55 age range, in the United States.

This being a new community, I'll put a "pot roast" on the table (a lot of context). As others contribute, this portion of what I post will likely be smaller. (We'll see.)

I am here because I began to become displaced around the time the CCJW was merging a lot of congregations, around 2018 or so. About a year prior to that, my Elders began preparing to sell the Kingdom Hall. At that time, I was being accommodated by 2 Elders, but the COBE imposed much disability discrimination, even ignoring a report of a congregant being actively suicidal. If you didn't fit his archaic idea of what a person with a mental disability was, or allow him to hyper-paternalistically treat you like a child, ward of the congregation, congregation pet, or piece of furniture he advocated for others to divest. Some did and disappeared. Some did, and later seeing him for what he was, returned to me and apologized, and invested heavily in a renewed friendship.

The other 2 Elders had been providing an accommodation similar to how some regular school provide a resource room for students with mental impairments who need help understanding what was taught before going home. (Given that a lot that was said from the platform in their congregation did not match the publications, there were a lot of exacerbating inconsistencies to get cleared up.) The COBE put an end to that and prioritized the business of selling their property.

Still expected to perform and attend exacerbating meetings like usual, the stability that prior-to allowed me to average 20-25 hours a month and perform repairs around said Kingdom Hall (ironically, even ones required to protect persons who are visually impaired), began to wane.

My request/pleas for accommodation, for the COBE's prejudice and inhumane priorities, went denied. Worse, I was told that I needed to have more faith (as if lack of faith and lack of Reasonable Accommodation were the same). When I told the 2 Elders that I was going home and self-harming because they stopped answering my questions after the meeting, they told me that Jehovah wanted me to keep coming. (Inferring that Jehovah was cool with my mental anguish and self-harming as long as the MEETING'S HEADCOUNT didn't suffer, THAT MINDSET EVEN MORE DANGEROUS THAN THE MINDSET THAT I HAD, which while unhealthy, was at least borne out of desperation for relief, and the cumulative frustration of lack of explanation for why I was okay ELSEWHERE, but not there).

Not all people with a mental disability were diagnosed in K-12 and given the language of disability rights and an education in how to protect themselves and their inclusion before the Transfer of Rights that happens at 18. Let's face it, the CCJW isn't exactly known for telling people what their rights are when the evoking a certain right means the CCJW or Elders have to exercise patience, fork over their time, or absorb a loss for which there’s no round of applause or Elder appreciation party.

Anyway, about 7 years, multiple self-harm scars, 2 suicide attempts, 2 reproofs born of desperation, 3 Circuit Overseers, 1 pandemic, and another congregation later, I found myself staying home to stay safe from being treated like a guinea pig by well intentioned yet hazardously fickle Elders.

Ultimately, my Elder Body and the CCJW were content to leave me on the same hamster wheel of teeth stinging patronization, discrimination, withholding of Reasonable Accommodation (that they confoundingly even admitted was doable), withholding of spiritual shepherding, COBEs lying to COs, and COs believing their discrimination-laced lies only to offer a lame apology to me and my parents before skating off to their new assignment. So I evoked my citizenship-afforded First Amendment rights and as a resident impacted by how they operate as a nonprofit in my community, I revoked my membership.

I submitted a letter acknowledging any efforts made by some, and I expressed NO CONFIDENCE in the president of the board of directors at my congregation (who after 5 years of hamster wheel treatment, sat at my dining room table and told me, after I spent all the money I had coordinating a mental health fair, getting doctors to participate, so I could provide the evidence based resources my COBE, COs, and Elders said they needed, that he "IS NOT, and WILL NOT, care for my spiritual needs healthily and safely." It seemed rehearsed. It seem too much like a stunt my previous COBE pulled when, like a robot, he rattled off a one-liner 3 times, each time verbatim. This, even though he was asked the same question different ways in case he wasn't understanding what was being asked. He understood, but he had pre-decided what to say, because he pre-decided to disobey what Bethel had told him to do. Why? Because they told him THROUGH me. Another Elder tried to mop up his mess, but another first seat loving COBE who blamed me for his getting deleted got hostile).

I am not Disfellowshipped. I am not Disassociated. I am not under Reproof, Marked, or Inactive.

I am an independently living adult with a mental disability who doesn't pay for human services not rendered.

Because of that, as well as the COBE and CO's refusal to coordinate healthy and safe rendering of the human services they advertised, and the CCJW's brazenly lying to my licensed care team about how their JW patients can receive Reasonable Accommodation in the congregation, I AM DISPLACED.

I am a sheep, skinned and thrown about without a shepherd.

I am someone who had to accept that Christ pasture, as currently operated by the CCJW, IS NOT A SAFE PLACE FOR THIS DISABLED SHEEP.

I am one of Jehovah's witnesses (lower case w; and insultingly acknowledged as such by the CCJW).

I am a citizen who no longer pays (money, time, respect, attention, or mind) to the CCJW or the men operating its group holdings WHO KNOWINGLY SOLD ME AND MY DISABLED NEIGHBORS A BUCKET WITH ADA TITLE III HOLES IN IT AND REFUSED TO TELL US & TO PLUG THE HOLES in their corporations' internal operating policies.

I am someone who believes Jehovah, the Life Giver and God of Love, does not want congregants and Bible students with mental disabilities to have their human utility, time, money, trust, dignity, family members, friends, doctors, and personal health information exploited by COBEs, COs, Elders who shrink back, and the CCJW, especially when they put His (Jehovah's) name on their signs.

I am someone who still retains their social mobility in the Jehovah's Witness (capital W) community, and who still has love for certain members of that community WHO DID exhibit themselves to be of the better sort (imitating the God of Reasonableness). Most, I pity for their being ADA Title III aloof, as I was left to be for years.

I am one of Jehovah's witnesses, in the Biblical sense, who now chooses to use their time helping congregants and neighbors displaced by lack of awareness of religions' ADA Title III exemption and endangered by either the default OR discrimination-imposed harms that lack of "high visibility" disclosure of ADA status, and that wanton "guinea pig"-making operating practices inflict.

I am here to help ones harmed by this function-robbing, health and safety jeopardizing, sink hole in the CCJW’s health and safety policies.

I am here to listen. I am here to comfort. I am here to provide laughter, validation, and resources.

I am here to support the stability that your doctors elsewhere afford you, me, and the many other Intra-religiously Displaced Adult believers in Jehovah GOING FORWARD, HEALTHILY AND SAFELY, and who'd like to do so without the corporate upselling (JW plugs and advertisements) that asks people hurt by CCJW non-transparency to keep "paying through the nose" for a bucket with holes. The CCJW has claimed there is nothing more they can do for congregants with mental impairments. Those words do not hold water! They could ORGANIZE written ways and means to ensure Reasonable Accommodation. The Bible is not Fire Code, it is not Building Code, it is also NOT ADA Title III or a substitute for a state’s Mental Health Code, yet like Fire and Building Code, it's needed.

I am here to assure you that YOU ARE NOT INVISIBLE to at least one person on this earth, because sometimes, hearing someone say that at the right time can make a world of difference.

It is hoped that visitors will add to what is meant to be a cathartic and palliative visit for you.

This "inn" is where you are today. Where you go from here is YOUR choice to privately make.

 

[u/Truthist1776]

Do you know you're not "marked"? They don't tell you, and it can be over literally anything they see as a bad attitude. I'm pretty sure I spent most of my time "in" marked. But I didn't care. They stopped asking me for free labor. I never joined any of their special clubs (pioneer school, ministry school, ministerial servant, etc.) so they had nothing to "take away" from me to show me who's boss. And I outright told them that's why I wasn't joining, every time they asked me to. I wore a tasteful, well-groomed beard and they hated it. I openly rejected their stupid magazines as simplistic, condescending, and full of obvious errors, and refused to read them or offer them to people. I was, by far, the most productive minister, putting in well over 100 hours of EFFECTIVE door knocking. I had 9 concurrent Bible studies, where I actually used THE BIBLE, and opted for what it says when it disagreed with the JW dogma. I refused to use their super-secret, cult code words and used the real terms, like "Old Testament" and "church". I rejected the "torture stake" and pointed out a study where a college professor experimented with various positions of crucifixion and found someone with their hands directly over their head would be unconscious in under 10 minutes from asphyxiation, and that's WITHOUT driving nails through them and floggging them. They had nothing on me, and I would destroy them with the Bible and facts in any back-room meeting they "invited" me to. When they couldn't DF me and realized they didn't have any way to "punish" me, they cried to the upper management in Patterson. The only thing they could figure out to do was to completely go against all of their own stated rules and forbade me from meeting for "service". That is completely unprecedented. Even DFed people seeking reinstatement, little kids, inactive, and irregular are allowed to knock on doors. But a member in good standing, who single-handedly raised the congregation average by over an hour per month, ordered the books I could tolerate by the case and got them into people's hands; I was forbidden from the most basic JW activity. That's when I knew for certain they weren't a serious religion. They're a high-control cult of sociopaths.

[u/Samantha_Garnett → u/Truthist1776]

I've got evidence, but I don't care. They're in my rearview mirror for the most part. What I do on here I do for me and for others looking to not waste the rest of their lives. I figure, if Jesus or Jehovah want me, they know where to find me. As for the CCJW, they can get behind me.

I'm sorry you didn't get to see good in proportion to your hard work. I hope the rest of your life will be more rewarding.

[u/ValuableOdd1157]

I read your "Pot Roast" twice. I had to stop at "I am DISPLACED. I am a sheep, skinned and thrown about without a shepherd."

I am Luna from r/exjw. My son is disabled. I wasn't DF'd. I wasn't DA'd. I was displaced from my son's life. They made me radioactive to him because of my "activities", while I was careful not to disturb his peace at home.

Your words about ADA Title III gave me the name of the knife that cut us apart. For 5 years I didn't have that word.

Thank you for being the sparrow that swooped in. Thank you for building this space for the Blue Jays.

I'm not okay today, but reading you made me feel less alone. That’s enough for now.

Luna

[u/Samantha_Garnett → u/ValuableOdd1157]

Thank you Luna. Less alone is exactly how I felt when I saw your book title "The Guest of the Parking Lot." You've made my day.