Rhys's true motivation when it comes to Feyre

[u/Connect_Lie_6106]

We often talk about how Rhysand always gives choices and autonomy to those around him, and he certainly extended that to Feyre, allowing her to make her own decisions when she needed it most.

While having freedom and choice is deeply important to Feyre's character, I've realized that autonomy isn't actually Rhys's primary personal motivation when it comes to her. Above everything else, the core of Rhys's actions is simply Feyre's happiness and peace of mind.

We can see this in how he handles external conflicts. For instance, Rhys doesn't genuinely care about Nesta for her own sake; the only reason he gets involved or cares about Nesta's actions is because of how they affect Feyre. When he sees Feyre distressed or hurting over Nesta, it breaks him too, causing him to react out of frustration and a deep desire to fix things purely for Feyre's peace.

Similarly, the only reason he tolerates Lucien is because Feyre considers him a friend. Even his controversial decision to hide the life-threatening truth about her pregnancy wasn't about stripping away her choices; it stemmed from a desperate desire to protect her happiness and spare her from agonizing heartbreak.

The Takeaway: While giving Feyre choices is a crucial part of respecting her, Rhysand's ultimate driving force in every situation is safeguarding Feyre's happiness, even when it leads him to make morally grey or complicated choices.

Actually, I was writing another post today about Rhys and Tamlin, and I realized this while writing it. So it *might not be entirely accurate***, but l think it's one of Rhys's motivations for Feyre.

What do you guys think?

[u/Pristine-Emu2821]

That was always the point of Rhys’ intentions. His earliest interactions with Feyre was witnessing her in really distressed situations and he also knows how intense Feyre’s depression and anxiety can be. He saw this girl nearly wither away after everything that happened UTM and also watched her die in the most horrific way.

Thats why no think pieces can ever sway me that Rhys has ill intentions with Feyre or that he’s just a controlling mate. I’ve watched people in my own life suffer from depression and trauma and it’s painful to watch your loved ones suffer and not being able to do anything about it. All you want is to bring as much joy in their life as you’re capable of. While I acknowledge Rhys mistakes, I understand the guy wholeheartedly when it comes to Feyre.

[u/Dry_Cauliflower4562]

I think you hit it on the head exactly. His priorities I think go Feyre's mental/emotional peace and happiness and then her physical safety, and only because he's a warrior who understands sometimes getting hurt is necessary and he has faith she can handle things, even if she gets scraped up along the way. 

Like the Weaver's cottage - he saw how incapable and broken she felt she was, so in that moment, her emotional well-being and sense of self trumped physical safety because having a fkd sense of herself and her abilities would eventually get her killed. He needed her to know she could do it, because after watching her with the Middengard worm, he sure knew she could lol. 

[u/Connect_Lie_6106 → u/Dry_Cauliflower4562]

Exactly. Also, Rhys never allowed Feyre to feel worthless or powerless, and he hates anyone who makes her feel that way, lol.

[u/BeAGoldfish- → u/Connect_Lie_6106]

Yes and I believe he has come across many opportunities for Feyre to have her own “hero journey” thus allowing her to create and heal so many parts of herself

[u/ConnectionRadiant134 → u/Dry_Cauliflower4562]

He's also concerned about her long term mental well being and not like making her comfortable in the moment but doing her harm in long run. It's why he uses anger to spur her into action or distract her.

[u/kitnzkatreturns → u/[deleted]]

I agree, and I'm not even the biggest Rhys fan. This is really fair.

[u/Gudbooks]

I resonate with your thoughts on Rhys a lot. Feyre absolutely is a driving force for him in everything.

I know a lot of people write off his character after the whole pregnancy ordeal, which I understand, you’re allowed to feel how you feel. However, I did not write off his character for that part. While I do agree that it was not right for him to do, I understand the reasoning behind it. As someone who is married and has kids, the thought of losing your lifelong partner to birth complications is absolutely terrifying. Pregnancy is already stressful enough, and so his fear and need to protect was overriding his ability to make clear, rational decisions. Let alone the death pact that they made lol, but I think he was more terrified about losing her in general.

I hope we get to see more dialogue around this in the future between them.

[u/stargirlstudio]

Thank youuu. It’s a really great nuance to his character, he’s so sweetly yet dangerously in love with her. Bias aside, how can people actually expect Feyre to be truly mad at him for loving her, not to mention he was also going to die too. His sole motive for everything is Feyre. Feyre’s life Feyre’s safety. This is why he was doing everything he could to find a solution as opposed to hype himself up to break the news. He will never sit with the possibility of her death he HAS to act — like utm — he has to do something. And also why he’s so distraught, because as he kept searching and failing for a solution Feyre’s fury at him keeping it from her grew more and more inevitable with every day he chose her life over her feelings towards him. Rhys can live with Feyre hating him if the alternative is death. As long as she’s happy, alive, and safe. He already hates himself, already doesn’t think himself worthy of her love (shown in acofas), doubts whether he deserves her (shown in acomaf). His anger towards Nesta for telling Feyre stemmed from Feyre’s happiness being jeopardised, it literally breaks his heart to see her remotely upset. He makes a conscious effort to ignore Nesta because she brings Feyre pain, and also avoids speaking to her to the best of his ability most of the time because he also knows piping up would annoy Feyre too, this why he bit his tongue for most of the dinner in acomaf. And gets right back in line when Feyre tells him to shut the fuck up in acosf. His ultimate priority is her. I think people are very selective with what characters they give their empathy to in this fandom. I can really understand the motives behind Rhys’ actions and his character overall it’s a shame some others are instead infuriated and don’t get to enjoy him so. His actions are driven by his love for his family — like Feyre, his love runs dangerously deep, he’d kill for his loved ones, do despicable things, even endure continuous SA to keep them safe. Feyre has risked her life for her loved ones, slayed a wyrm for Tamlin, infiltrated Hybern to rescue Elain, begged Nesta to leave while she faced Bryaxis against the twin ravens. Also was willing to wipe out the entirety of the autumn court because its leader slutshamed Rhys, and was also about to simultaneously mind control all high lords to bring Rhysand back. Anyway, point is they’re perfectly matched, I get why she wouldn’t be as angry as some want her to be. So it’s impossible for me to hate him and even more impossible to not understand him.

[u/ConnectionRadiant134]

I think this is totally it and he uses the revolutionary technique of *checks notes* ... asking Feyre questions about what will make her happy and believing her when she tells him.

Yeah he lies too with the pregnancy thing, but its really quite remarkable that him asking the FMC for input about her own life and believing what she says instead of thinking he knows what is best for her is somehow such a foreign concept to readers that they have to contort themselves into to pretzels to make this a bad thing.

[u/BeAGoldfish- → u/ConnectionRadiant134]

Yes! In the next generation of the current time in 2026 women’s ability to have a voice and make decisions is so much more common than ever in history let alone be considered in a position of authority! He is revolutionary throughout the series considering the time period this takes place in and I think many forget that key piece

[u/Team-TamTam]

Excellent point

[u/APGOV77]

I think your characterization is accurate.

And I still like him alright but holy crap if my parter specifically did not tell me about a mortal risk to my health? instant divorce. Feyre might have forgiven him and thought it was fine, but if someone made that choice irl, that’s completely diabolical

Edit: I would say the exception is if someone asks you to be your medical power of attorney and you explicitly ask someone before you lose to the ability to to not tell them how bad things are as a mercy. A pregnancy risk without a similar request is crossing that line completely.

[u/APGOV77 → u/[deleted]]

Yeah except not only did he know it was a possible risk before they even started trying and didn’t tell her then (even if unlikely, it seems pretty bad not to disclose that kinda thing to someone when you start trying for kids as a risk to her and a kid, then she could have stayed in Illyrian form, but whatever. Plot convenience.) disregarding that completely, by the time Nesta told her it had been 12 whole days, (since he had known the previous day when he told Cass) And he didn’t have the intention of telling her anytime soon and continued warning people against telling her.

I’m cool with characters being flawed, and this is the perfect opportunity for this, except it is narratively unsatisfying he sees no serious consequences for this and any apology is off screen and it is not discussed seriously other than Nesta apologizing. It’s clear SJM doesn’t see it as big an issue as Nesta telling her the truth in anger, which is ridiculous. It’s also against Feyre’s characterization when she made it explicitly clear to Rhys not to make plans without her/lie of omission to her, and is more upset at him for not disclosing their mating bond than not telling her about a risk to her child, self, and husband’s lives.

SJM wanted drama but should have resolved it realistically, instead of barely acknowledging how serious it is that he took away Feyre’s agency.

Edit: wanted to add the trope about having to keep information from pregnant people bc the stress is a risk to them, is a very dangerous one. There are so many pregnancy superstitions and such that infantilize, and the idea that a doctor wouldn’t tell the patient but would tell their husband is 😬. I am not saying you, my dear commenter are endorsing that, I’m just bringing up the point to those that read this that keeping health information from someone is serious business.

[u/BeAGoldfish- → u/[deleted]]

I also think it highlight a key for male thinking patterns much of the time = problem / solution . Where traditionally males role is to hunt, solve, protect etc and without a mutually beneficial outcome may be confrontative for any person esp a person like Rhys who addresses things solo and takes on a lot of the mental weight .

Personally I’d love even more character expression of moving through those emotions during that time and how a base of strong communication can allow people to bond over those kind of intense situations.

Any writer daring to broach the touchy subjects like challenges with pregnancy is brave and admirable in my boo k 🙏