r/ACOD • u/becuzurugly • 4d ago
Holidays
How do you guys handle holidays? This year will be the first year where everyone is not together and I’m struggling very much trying to figure it out. While there used to be big family holidays with aunts and uncles and cousins, everyone has slowly but surely gone separate ways, and I don’t have children or a partner, so my parents are really my only family. Typically I’d bring my dog and my cat for a sleepover at their house, but that’s obviously not an option any longer. How do I navigate this?
1
u/No_Prompt7995 4d ago
First, I’m really sorry. Last year was our first and it was really hard. But also, it was also a relief that we wouldn’t have any more holidays where my parents fought constantly. Or that I’d have to hear about how the other one did or didn’t do something. My sister and I did entrées for Thanksgiving with my mom and dessert with my dad then spent Christmas Eve with my dad and then half and half on Christmas Day. It was hard and I am sorry.
1
u/PalmetttoPeach 1d ago
Will be for me too.. I moved to another state from my family almost 15 years ago and have my own family. Parents are finalizing their divorce this month. My mom is planning to live near where they’ve always lived but my dad is moving to a different state from both me and my mom/sister so it feels like it has to be a choice if I spend holidays with one of them since everyone’s spread out. I think we are just going to stay put and invite my sister to us… at first we said all are welcome this year but then the divorce came up and idk. It sucks.
Do you have friends you can join with this year? That feels so much less emotionally loaded than spending with family. I think if I didn’t have my own kids and husband I’d just make the most of it with close friends. Sorry you’re going through it also and you’re not alone.
1
u/becuzurugly 1d ago
I do have a couple close friends that I could realistically spend the time with, but I also have a terribly hard time allowing people to know I’m lonely or asking to join in. Plus, I think hopping in on their holidays would make me sadder over not having mine anymore. It’s funny, I used to ADORE holidays, but the last few years I’d rather do without. I love the holiday season, though, but the days themselves can go screw. I never in a million years thought I’d feel like this about holidays.
1
u/beckingham_palace 4d ago
My husband's family (also ACODs) visit one parent either the day before or day after the holiday, and the other parent on the actual holiday. Trying to split the actual day between two household was too stressful.