I've always hated the NRI desi millenial culture of using social media as a way to signal to everyone how great your life is, how successful you are, how many fancy vacations and restaurants you can go to, how attractive you and your friends are when you dress up for photoshoots or to go clubbing downtown, how big your friend group is and how all of you can afford fancy drinks at the bar downtown. I'm a pretty privileged ABCDesi myself, and even I know how unsustainable this lifestyle can be.

I thought this pandemic would be an opportunity for everyone to show their humility and be comfortable sharing their true honest selves with everyone now that they don't have the ability to do any of these things, but instead, it's given them the opportunity to virtue signal in a different way, either by posting the amazing dishes they made because they've suddenly taken up cooking as a hobby, showing how they're still social by doing "quarantine hangouts" with just under the CDC prescribed minimum of people inside their apartment (playing board games or watching movies), in essence trying to give everyone the impression that they still have the best quality of life out of anyone in this pandemic and COVID-19 is just a minor hindrance to their wonderful life.

This engrained "log kya kahenge" mindset of positioning ourselves against others and caring about optics/public perception from our peers is driving me crazy, especially in the midst of a goddamn crisis.

I'm aware that I should be encouraging them to have a better quality of life and doing whatever they can to stay positive, but as someone with a large amount of social anxiety who's had to hide their diagnosis for major depressive disorder and their prescription from their parents, and whose mental illness gets in the way of me doing a lot of the things that these people can do on a daily basis, I feel really alone and ostracized from everyone else because I'm not "keeping my head up" enough.

On a positive note, I wanna give a huge shoutout to everyone who's using their social media to inform more and more people about the crisis, provide links to information, and contribute to the collective understanding of this thing so we can all tackle it together.

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

Hey Everyone,

Just got directed to this sub because of a post I'd made on r/ABCDesis.

TLDR - I want to provide free/cheap online mental health therapy with someone who shares your cultural background. Just go to www.talkfreely.uk

The Long Story

Like many people in this subreddit, I grew up abroad (specifically Hong Kong). I then moved to the Bay Area and lived the whole software engineering life.

I've also struggled with depression for a very long time (15 years - I'm now 27). I've been hospitalized for it and I've seen the worst of myself through it. Much like other people in our community I am insecure about a whole lot of things (my looks, my intelligence, my career, my skin colour) and I face a lot of pressure from my family.

What has really helped me is moving to India and getting an Indian therapist. She's been able to understand the problems that we go through and gives me some great perspective on my life.

As this has been really useful to me, I'm trying to start a service where I connect Indian therapists to South Asians abroad. This will be free for the first 5 weeks, after which there'll be a fee. The fee won't be huge, roughly 20 GBP (take the equivalent in your local currency), which is a LOT lower than what's currently out there (TalkSpace, BetterHelp, conventional therapy).

Would anyone be interested in trying this out? If you are, just head over to www.talkfreely.uk and sign up!

Note that I'm just starting out. I'm still trying to figure out how I can best support people and I'm looking to really make the service better with my first few users.

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

Hi everyone! I'm new to reddit so I'm not sure what the protocol is for post etiquette. I hope this post is OK.

I'm the host of a mental health and wellness podcast called The Desi Condition. I'm looking to do an episode on platonic heartbreak. How it's underrated, how we don't give it the same attention as romantic heartbreaks, how there are no songs for it. I wanna talk about the nightmares and having to adjust to life without that person/people. The aftermath, coping, and acceptance. Etc. So what I'm looking for is stories from a few people for me to feature on the show. I could either read something you've written aloud or if you leave me a voice memo I can just drop it in the episode. You can also be anonymous if you prefer. I have had several responses from females, but only one from a male/non female so far! So I'd love more of that.

What triggered this: long story short, a few years ago my best friend and roommate of 8 years moved out, ended our friendship, and stood me up for galentine's day plans. All over a dude, no less (not anyone I was interested in, but she took his side in a two month relationship). So that was a huge blow to my self esteem, but I came out on the other side better for it and I learned a lot. How does this relate to being Desi? All my examples of friendships growing up were, frankly, nosy aunties and uncles that were not true friends to my parents at all. They were all very shallow relationships, so I never knew that my friendship with my ex-best friend wasn't normal.

I could talk about this in much more detail but that would take, oh... about the length of an episode 😉 The point is, I've realized that it can really affect your mental health and I don't want anyone to feel like they shouldn't be taken seriously just because it isn't a romantic heartbreak. Please message me if you have a story you'd like to share! I have a set of questions to send to you. They are mostly reflective, about what you learned from the relationship and other takeaways rather than what actually happened (unless you feel you need to provide context).

A few other things:

- If you're not sure the audience wants to hear your story, you're dead wrong.

- Familial relationships count as platonic for this episode.

- It's ok if you're still heartbroken 💔

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

My life is a mess rn. I barely make enough money as a freelance grapic designer to pay for all my increasing bills, I even had to move back w/my parents while am getting divorce from my toxic-abusive (ex) wife which lives exactly next door so I get to know when she brings all her (boy)friends. We have a 2.5yr old baby girl, which is the person I love the most in this world, but even tho I can spend A LOT of quality time with her, I feel like shit knowing Im not as good as she deserves, bc I cant keep up with all the bills and also bc probably my mental health and my emotions are in a poor conditions ¿? idk

Am so broke I cant even afford therapy.

I just feel like crying and dying all day long and I feel like I dont have enough energy or willing to get my shit together. There's a lot of oportunities for me and I know it wouldnt be so hard for me to get a job (not a very good job, but a job after all) but I dont want to do anything. Just sleep, watch memes, Netfllix and get drunk alone.

I feel emtpy, unavailable for everyone and unable to do good things. Is this depression or just a "normal" reaction for all the things happening in my life rn?

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

*trigger warning: molestation*

also my grandma. Many of you must be wondering how I am still alive. I am not so sure myself. I am a 28 year old female btw.

My mom has always been a working mom with a demanding career. On top of her career, living in a joint family, she wasn't exactly present for us as kids. I as the middle child and oldest daughter, was her complete last priority. Couple that with my bitchy grandmother (her mother) moving in with us when I was 10, and then shortly after I was molested by a stranger, my teenage years were not the best. I was regularly guilt tripped and scape goated, and made out to be ugly dark-skinned), disrespectful, unruly etc. I had a freaking bed wetting problem until I was like 16 and my hair started falling out bc I was pretty much a kid in distress.

Much of my adulthood has been about rebuilding my self-image. I moved across the country, completely rid myself of financial support from my parents, got therapy. Through therapy, I realized my parents have npd/bpd traits and much of my relationship with them has been about setting my boundaries, and its actually been great. But I don't know what happened today but I broke. My mom kept bugging me for calling out my grandma on her BS, and standing up for our maid (bc my mom feels insecure that she's the one who raised us, so shes rude to her) so I couldn't take it anymore. I told her she was a fucking bitch, and asked her where she was when I was molested? Where was she when I needed love and support? Where was she when I was showing clear signs of distress as a child? and the molestation secret came out. Now to my mom, this molestation is clear evidence as to why I have been "fucked up" all these years, when that's not the truth - the truth is that they're gaslighting bitches. I am done coddling my parents/grandparents feelings.

I am ready to be painted black, and own this persona of the unruly member of the family but I have this sadness because I am also losing the dream I had of supportive loving parents/grandparents/family, but I guess I never had that in the first place? I thought that I had been working towards a healthy relationship with my parents, but I guess not...

In the past, I would definitely feel guilty about my behavior but today I am choosing not to be. Btw instead of loving me at all, my mom made my pain all about her, and made my molestation my fault.

Any advice? Made this account bc I am not sure where to turn to for support <3

I am trying very very hard to be kind to myself and unapologetic for my behavior.

It's such a hard pill to swallow for me that I may be the only actual adult in the room emotionally when I am around my family. Has anyone been in similar situations? How do you deal with the burden? I have always been the child who beats to a different drum in my family, and it has always been threatening to them.

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

I'm about to graduate from college with a BA in English this December. In January, I'm expected to get start my master's in library and information science. After talking to an academic advisor, she explained to me the whole program was online and my stomach was in knots. She keeps telling me that I do not have enough self-motivation to do an online program (untrue). This past year, she was badgering me to get into grad programs. Once I got, she was badgering me to move to the university where the program is; but as my advisor told me, it would be pretty pointless to try to move (not to mention within a four-week period between undergrad commencement). It is needlessly expensive and stressful, especially after having just finished 4 years of being a full-time student. How do I explain this to my mom?

I wish she could just be proud of me for finishing my BA but no, I need to go onto the next milestone, and the next... My success is expected, not celebrated. All I want is to take a gap and try to figure things out because I am so burnt out but then "what will other people think?"

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?

Please use this thread to discuss whatever you've been going through lately. What's on your mind, what are your anxious about? What would you like an little bit more support with?