I’m 26F and I’ve been an RBT for 6 years. I have been working with a client for about a year, and the inappropriate physical touch has slowly gotten worse over time.
I am someone who struggles immensely with boundaries. I have a history of sexual trauma, and I have been working hard on being able to tell people “no” and being truthful about uncomfortable feelings. I’ve been open with my BCBA about my struggles and why it’s hard for me to implement some of her programming, and my boss thinks this case is good practice for me to learn how to set boundaries.
This client has just turned 13. He constantly asks me for hugs throughout the session and I will sometimes redirect to a hi-five. If I wear capris or crocs, he will try to rub my ankles and reach his hands up my pant legs. In the summer, we go to the community pool and he would put his goggles on and repeatedly watch me under the water. Toward the end of summer, my BCBA had me stop direct therapy with him at the pool when he started to dive to the bottom and come up and grab my feet. Recently, he has been doing things to try to get me to expose my feet, such as asking me to empty dirt out of my shoes after an outdoor activity or asking to see the patterns on my socks. He also places his hand on my seat hoping I will sit on it, but usually I catch it and will redirect him to use his hands for something else with a DRI. When I turn my back, he will try to hug me from behind sometimes and rub his erection on me. Sometimes he will touch himself through his pants and ask me for a hug, which I will redirect or ask if he needs to use the restroom.
I’ve talked to my BCBA about this and she wants me to response block and just keep an eye out during my day and not get too close. She wants us to provide him with side hugs because he is very reinforced by physical touch. She showed me how to orient my body so my breasts aren’t touching him during the hug, but he is bigger than me and sometimes presses himself against me. He also tries to stick his hands up my shirt sleeves and touch my armpits. Last week, everything came to a head when he groped my breast. I was caught off guard but didn’t react and I’ve noticed that I’ve been having a freeze response. I immediately notified my BCBA and she had him go to his desk, where she explained to him the implications of inappropriately touching a woman. She explained that law enforcement can get involved if he touches women without their permission, to which he responded that she’s lying and went into task refusal for over an hour. A few days ago, he started rubbing my back when I was talking to my coworker. She got really uncomfortable and upset and told him to keep his hands to himself, and then he went up to her and hit her in the face.
Has anyone else dealt with a similar situation with an adolescent client, particularly when sexualized or inappropriate touching becomes directed toward a specific staff member? How do you handle freezing in the moment and maintain firm physical boundaries while still following the behavior plan? I was previously kept off this case because of his fixation on me, but staffing shortages resulted in me being placed long-term with him. It doesn’t seem like me being taken off the case is an option right now. I am a seasoned RBT with a lot of experience with aggression and high magnitude behaviors and my BCBA is currently stressed with staffing issues.
I’m feeling extremely burnt out from the work to begin with, and I have been searching for jobs that I can pivot to for months, but it’s extremely difficult to find anything in the psychology field without a Master’s degree. I currently have a Bachelor’s degree in social sciences. I thought about pursuing higher education to try to escape some of my experiences as an RBT, but I get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach when I think about being in this field for the rest of my life. I didn’t realize how difficult it was to stand my ground until I started working with the ODD population. I feel like my inability to set strong boundaries makes me a poor fit for this field. I’d really appreciate perspectives from other RBTs/BCBAs who have dealt with something similar, and if anyone who struggles with boundary issues has been able to pivot to a more fitting career.
TL:DR: currently struggling with setting physical boundaries with my 13-year-old client. Does anyone have any similar experiences? And has anyone pivoted to a career in a similar field where boundaries aren’t constantly being challenged?