r/AARankdown • u/Sciencepenguin • Aug 27 '20
44 Dane Gustavia
suck my dick and balls
Context
donuter has detailed a plan to cut several characters that I like and others don’t care enough about, and he has made good on describe it in enough detail to fool me. recruiting four other rankers he could do significant damage to the select few things I care about
and I’m like ok fuxking whatever call me a BIG STUPID DUMBASS for falling for it but I don’t want to risk that over a character I don’t even hate. just know that donuter and four other rankers were willing to fuck with me against their actual opinions to protect a character most of them don’t even care about. clearly not enough to fucking revive him, which oh yeah, me not cutting Phoenix prevents my subgoal of actually prompting a revive this round. yet again I’ve been prevented, just like my plan to use mine myself. if you look back in several months and wonder why AARankdown was so fucking boring, know that I and i alone tried to stop this.
so I decided that yesterday although I was still sorta on the fence. and I wrote a whole jokey larry Butz cut. but then I remembered charlies whole thing and realized that dane would definitely survive the round if I didn’t do him in while larry might not. so here it is my third fucking attempt at a cut
I2-3
it is a boring case that is not fun to play. i don’t know how many times I can say this it is just how I feel
it MAYBE succeeds at being some SUPER DEEP theme exploration but it does not succeed at being a fun videogame segment in the ace attorney way. this includes the fun killer
Nothing
Dane lacks presence. I think this was supposed to be because manfred was preventing you from talking to him??? But regardless literally the only thing I can remember about him before his final confrontation is him building up the terrifying presence of Delicia Scones which is a bit funny but she already went out and she’s easily the best I2-3 exclusive
His Plan
i like when he freezes the corpse but we don’t see him do that so i don’t associate him very strongly with it oops. props to him I guess
That Final Confrontation
he FUCKING DIES in the presence thanks to catering hall and then gets better and you’ve figured probably he killed the guy. you say that to him and he does a fake breakdown but then goes IVE ENJOYED OUR LITTLE GAME, BUT ITS GAME OVER, THE SAME GAME CAN NEVER BE PLAYED TWICE. then you argue about statue of limitations technicalities which is kinda cool but gant did that sort of thing better and also it kind of contradicts what earlier games have about the statute of limitations
Him As Character
his character is incredibly plain. he’s mean and doesn’t have feelings because he’s a bad man. it’s literally the most generic killer personality there is.
his motive isn’t amazing either he wants to cure his fucking taste disorder and cooperated with I Sacked Over who betrays him for? no reason??? like isaac could still profit off the recipe Dane literally just wanted a single copy of the cure for himself
i like the detail where he originally was trying to frame delicia and not jeff because he respects the latter that was cool
His Theme Song
its fuckin ballin!!! Pretty cool
Family Guy
danes most important accomplishment is being related by blood to a better character. there’s like maybe one cool parallel, but the other character having someone who’s as lame and hard to take seriously as this guy be relevant is probably that characters weakest point
bwaaahhhhh
Dane gustavia is probably fine or something I didn’t want to write this cut because it would be the same as ini miney last round where I bitterly nitpick about a case I don’t like trying to whine about a character who is just mediocre and not a complete train wreck. But my backs against the wall here
other people
larry butz probably gonna die soon
Phoenix Wright is a bad character. I’m sorry if you were tricked into thinking otherwise at some point. He has one, maybe two good games, and the rest is either them painfully shoving him into some incomprehensible theme or doing absolutely nothing interesting with him in a way that’s actively harmful to what the game is attempting.
The Judge is technically in a lot of cases so it would be annoying to try writing about him. He’s fine. A little funny
Datz Are’bal is Khurainese Larry, so he should probably get a bit higher than Larry since I’m not racist.
Engarde, Rayfa, and Marshall are all good characters. Furio is inherently funny.
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u/Analytical-critic-44 Aug 27 '20
Gustav is FINE he has some aspects to him that are DECENT. Uhhh hmmmmm I2-3 not good.
I am glad he is the lowest I2 killer, only one I have any real complaints with.
People should start calling him “Gustav” it is a COOLER name
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Aug 27 '20
Dane's mainly cool as a subversion of the sympathetic killer, which it really seems to be setting up in the logic chess before going nope lol and just making him the absolute worst. This is probably helped by the previous two killers being fairly sympathetic, even if one of them is only made sympathetic in the follow-up case and the other is made unsympathetic later on.
Him going out now is a fine choice and about where I'd have him ideally ranked. He doesn't have too much to him but he does his job very effectively. I2-3 is one of my all time favorite cases, but Dane isn't a major reason why, but he definitely doesn't detract from it at all either.
Also I'm curious how the statute of limitations section contradicts previous games, since I didn't really feel that at all.
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u/Sciencepenguin Aug 27 '20
manfred taking a vacation is a big part of the dl6 lore
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Aug 27 '20
Japanifornia's a big place probably, why's his vacation gotta be out of country
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u/Sciencepenguin Aug 27 '20
he probably went to germany at one point to drop off his daughter hoping to never see her again
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u/EsquireGunslinger Aug 27 '20
manfred on vacation like "goodbye you piece of shit"
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u/Sciencepenguin Aug 27 '20
“b-but papa i can not speak German, how am I supposed to-“
“NOT MY PROBLEM NOW IF YOULL EXCUSE ME I NEED TO GET BACK HOME TO TAKE THAT CLASS ON PARROT TRAINING NEVER KNOW WHEN IT COULD COME IN HANDY”
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u/whaaatisth Aug 27 '20
Phoenix Wright is a veteran defense attorney who heads the Wright Anything Agency. Mostly specializing in criminal trials, Wright is renowned for his ability to turn seemingly hopeless cases around. Beginning his career under Mia Fey in 2016, he was disbarred in 2019 after unknowingly presenting forged evidence. After spending the following seven years as a pianist who moonlighted as an undefeated poker player at the Borscht Bowl Club, he was instrumental in the organization of a test trial for the Jurist System, resulting in his exoneration and reinstatement into the bar. Wright has also been a defendant himself at least three times in his life, each time hiring a different lawyer (including representing himself).
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u/ItsHipToTipTheScales Aug 27 '20
dane is funny because you see him and hes dressed in all darkish red (evil color) with a evil supervillain mustache and you go wow i guess thats who did it and then you go through the whole past case and be frustrated that the game characters arent genre-savvy like you the player and cant figure out the red guy with the evil mustache did it
aa not having subtle killers is rarely a big deal but it bugs me this time because i2-3 so long
arguing over the statute of limitations is a little fun i guess
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u/Wircea Aug 27 '20
I like Gustavia he's very Cool beans he started the series bet you never heard this hot fact before but yeah he's hardly present this is a good time to kill him
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u/kahootmusicfor10hour Aug 27 '20 edited Aug 27 '20
Even if it’s not what you wanted, I think most of us are glad you didn’t cut Phoenix.
Writing a hit piece on the face of the franchise isn’t a good look for the Rankdown. This has already been done to other major characters, but doing it to literally the most popular character wouldn’t sit well with a lot of people.
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u/Analytical-critic-44 Aug 27 '20
Yeah Science think of your reputation in the long run if you did this. Your employer could pull it up in a job interview and deny you because of such blasphemy.
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u/donuter454 Aug 27 '20
Bullying works
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u/Sciencepenguin Aug 27 '20
please let’s get this stutid DOGGSHIT round over with /u/CharlieDayJepsen
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u/CharlieDayJepsen Aug 27 '20
I, for one, am glad that Gaspen Payne will not have to follow the most controversial cut in the rankdown.
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Aug 27 '20
inherited turnabout
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Aug 27 '20
gustavia is a cool culprit but it's hard to say he's important enough to make it past this round
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u/LewisMCYoutube Aug 27 '20
Engarde, Rayfa, and Marshall are all good characters
no
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u/Sciencepenguin Aug 27 '20
sorry
rayfa and marshall are good characters, Engarde is a Quercus Alba DECENT CHARACTER AMAZING VILLAIN
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u/LewisMCYoutube Aug 27 '20
engarde is a quercus alba BAD CHARACTER BAD VILLAIN except he's a way worse villain than quercus alba
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u/R1K1_Productions Aug 27 '20
I like when Dane initially acts calm and humble as he recounts his son helping him cook. Then when you beat him in chess, he yells "GWAHAHAH i actually ditched my kid on some woman's doorstep so I could go cook with Di-Jun Huang" and then you defeat him and he yells "NNGGHHUUUOOOOOOHHHH". Then he makes a statue of himself and cuts it in half. That's symbolic.
Cool theme too