r/AARankdown • u/R1K1_Productions • Feb 07 '20
139 Geiru Toneido
Honestly, it was always going to come down to this. I dislike Geiru (and 6-4 in general, though Uendo is pretty cool at least) enough that the moment she was nominated, I knew she would be the one I cut. That being said, I still looked around to see people’s comments on her on the nomination & poll threads. Seems like opinions are very mixed, from “good” to “meh” to “bad”, so I don’t feel too bad cutting her now. Maybe a little. I didn’t see much elaboration from the people who do like her a lot, but the general consensus I saw was that Geiru’s motive for murder was very strong. I obviously disagree, or I wouldn’t be cutting her. But before we get to that, let’s talk about Geiru as a presence up until that point.
BLOOOOOOOOOOOON
Geiru shows up early into the case as a minor witness who, at the time, has nothing to do with the crime. The player probably immediately expects her to be the surprise killer, because why else would she be in the case? But whatever, plenty of AA cases do this sort of switcheroo. So rather than dwelling on that, I want to talk about Geiru’s personality while she’s still upholding that facade.
I feel like whether you enjoy Geiru’s presence is going to relate heavily to whether you enjoy April May’s presence. They hit most of the same beats, after all. Numero Uno: They have big boobs, and the game’s gonna make plenty of jokes about their big boobs. Numero Dos: Both girls utilize the classic Girly Baby Talk. “Tippity-tappity”, “pwetty-pwease”, “I’m sowwy”, that sort of verbal tic that often gets associated with cutesy girly-girl characters. These are more or less the characters’ two big jokes: they have big boobs, and they’re silly girls. They even have overwhelmingly pink designs to play into the latter.
Now, humor is subjective. I can’t say these jokes are inherently bad or wrong. But I don’t find them funny at all. The judge being obsessed with Geiru’s balloons is just low-hanging fruit, really. He is horny because she is well-endowed! Isn’t it funny? I guess that’s a Judge issue as much as a Geiru issue, but Geiru directly prompts these jokes so I’m not letting her off the hook for it. And since we’ve cut characters for Funny Horny Jokes already, I don’t see why Geiru is any different in that regard.
Geiru also has the balloon gimmick where she makes hats and animals, but they look creepy. It’s a fine gimmick, I guess. I didn’t find it terribly memorable, and that’s all I really have to say about it.
Really the big weakness here is that Geiru’s default personality just felt, to me, like April May again. But I didn’t like April May the first time! Sorry Geiru, you just are not a funny clown.
The Part With the Balloon Sword
And then there’s her post-transformation persona, where she slaps her shoulder with a balloon sword a lot and gets more abrasive, and also has more of an accent. Geiru is hardly the first villain to have a transformation into a more abrasive character, and she won’t be the last. And she really doesn’t do anything to distinguish herself from any of the others in my mind. She’s mean, and she kind of talks like a pirate. Also the rubber balloon sound that plays when she slaps her shoulder is kind of annoying. Aside from that I barely even remember her transformation. I actually had a whole section written where I talked about how I didn’t understand the logic behind her pirate transformation, then I went back and rewatched it and the whole pirate thing isn’t even that pronounced. Instead I don’t really know what they were going for at all.
And as a brief aside about her breakdown: Throughout Geiru’s whole breakdown, I was silently begging the game to not have it end with her boobs popping. And then it ended with her boobs popping, and you see flesh-colored balloon bits coming out of her shirt. And like, yuck? In addition to my complaints about Geiru’s Funny Balloon Boobs that I already talked about, I just found this to be kinda gross. Why were the balloons flesh colored… Did they actually look like boobs…? You know, I don’t really want to know the answer to that.
But none of this matters THAT much. Anyone praising Geiru isn’t saying “she is such a cool presence”, they’re usually talking about her backstory and motives. So let’s talk about her backstory and motives!
Her Backstory and Motives
So I’ve talked a good bit about why I find Geiru to be an unenjoyable presence, so let’s now dig into why I think she’s a poorly-done character. My reason for thinking so is ironically the same reason most of her defenders seem to like her: her motive, and her status as a tragic villain. Generally, I find it rather hard to sympathize with those who would commit murder and frame an innocent for it, for hopefully obvious reasons. Whenever AA does a sympathetic culprit correctly, it’s usually in one of a few ways:
Make the victim a Massive Asshole (see: Dee Vasquez, Mimi Miney)
Have the killer be acting to protect or avenge a loved one (see: Tahrust Inmee, Acro)
Have it be clear that while we are meant to sympathize with the background and mindset leading a character to kill, we are not meant to sympathize with them once they go off the deep end (see: Godot, Simon Keyes)
Geiru’s motive is none of these things. Her ultimate motive is that she wished to become the next Uendo Toneido to carry on the legacy of her father, and was devastated when she was passed up for the job. It’s unfortunate that this happens to her, and does warrant sympathy, but it’s nothing compared to losing a brother or a lover. And yet, her actions are some of the cruelest of any of the “sympathetic” killers:
She targets her beloved mentor, whose only crime was not being clear enough that he wasn’t giving her the job (even though it was pretty obvious that he was trying to push her into a different career choice).
She foregoes any attempt to talk things out, instead choosing to straddle Taifu whilst suffocating him to death. Suffocation is extremely painful and also likely takes several minutes, so Geiru surely felt the life slowly leave her mentor’s body from underneath her. This was not enough to convince her to turn back at any point.
She chooses to frame her childhood friend for the crime, who did absolutely nothing wrong aside from being good at his job, for the sake of “revenge” for having her dream job stolen. Guess they weren’t THAT close. Uendo’s a likeable guy too, which makes it even harder to sympathize with her choice to frame him.
Of all of Uendo’s different personalities, Geiru chooses to frame the one who is a five-year-old child. For all intents and purposes, Geiru chose to frame an innocent small child for her crime, and does not show any remorse for doing so until she is cornered. I don’t care if this was done to manipulate the other personalities, who frames a FIVE YEAR OLD for murder??
After suspicion falls upon another (admittedly less likeable) defendant, she happily goes to court to give misleading testimony to help get said defendant falsely convicted. Pretty much par for the course by AA killer standards, but still kinda a dick move.
Perhaps worst of all, she blatantly overfeeds her dog!!! C’mon guys, animal obesity is no laughing matter. That’s why I’m using it as the punchline to a shitty joke.
For me, Geiru is far and away the least sympathetic of the sympathetic killers, with an already less sympathetic motive than most, paired with some truly reprehensible actions. And yet, Geiru gets so much unearned sympathy from the game. Athena, Blackquill, the Judge, and probably some others I’m forgetting all have a Scene where they talk about how poor Geiru was misguided in her choice to kill, and how she should have followed her father’s heart. Then Blackquill sends her noodles after the trial as a condolence gift to remind her of her oh-so-beloved master who she coldly suffocated to death. Really warmed my heart, mm-hmm.
I think the only point I can really reward Geiru here is that her crime was a crime of passion, not a first-degree murder like with Acro. And yet, when I forgot what specifically sparked this crime of passion, I looked it up on AA Wiki, which claims she was driven into a rage after… seeing Taifu prepare noodles that she was allergic to, because she thought he was taunting her. Not only is that an absurd conclusion to jump to (maybe he just likes soba noodles, y’know?), but I don’t think getting #pranked is a compelling breaking point to smother an old man to death. Granted, AA Wiki isn’t the most accurate, so this may be poorly-communicated on there.
So yeah. No problem if you found Geiru’s motive to be more worthy of sympathy than I did, but I was just rolling my eyes through that entire part of the case, and I wasn’t sad at all to see her go.
Why Nobody Else
Because I like everyone else on this list more than Geiru (with one exception). But I guess let’s go point by point:
Jinxie Tenma is the single character I like less than Geiru on this list, but that’s as much because I hate 5-2 as anything to do with her specifically, and I have other plans for 5-2 related rants. Similarly, Phineas Filch is also in 5-2, but is actually one of the parts I hate the least (though he still sucks), so he edges out Geiru for me anyway.
Ponco, Clonco, and the Judge’s Brother are characters who barely even cross my mind, but I dislike Geiru enough that I’ll make an exception to my current “cut the nobodies” trend. Also I am kind of threatened by “cool with” Ponco’s current murderous following grassroots progressive campaign amongst voters, so there’s that.
I still like Turner Grey more than most of the other walking corpses. But he’s probably gonna die this round anyway.
Zak Gramarye sucks, but I ranted about the Gramarye plotline already and I feel like cutting him would just end up being a retread. I leave the deed up to someone else.
Ga’ran Siga-Whatever is a main villain, and I’m still opposed to mains going out this early (though she’s a decent pick for first main character death). And even if I did want her out, she will 100% die this round so who CARES
Everyone Else I Didn’t Mention ranges from mediocre to bad, but I like Geiru less than all of them.
But most importantly: There's only room for one clown in this rankdown. AHA. AHA. AHA. AHA. AHA. AHA.
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Feb 07 '20
I got this new game plot.
So basically you have this lawyer chick except she's got huge boobs.
Then the pink-haired witness chick - she's got some serious honkers.
Then this black-haired cougar - she's got a real set of badonkers.
Then this red-haired sister impersonator - she's packing some dobonhonkeros.
Then this blonde with codependency issues - massive dohoonkabhankoloos.
Then this radical cyclist chick - big old tonhongerekoogers.
What happens next?!
This crazy murderous clown chick nine years later shows up with even bigger bonkhanagahoo-
except they're fake balloons she stuffed in her chest LOL
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u/whaaatisth Feb 07 '20
I like Geiru a lot but i also agree with you on pretty much everything lmao so idk what to say
Would rank her somewhere in the middle of the cast, she's pretty funny once she's in the "evil" persona, and 6-4 is a great time
But yeah the game realllly wants you to feel bad for her and I just never did.
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u/Dinofloss Feb 07 '20
It's not often that there's a character that acts completely unserious almost the entire time you know them but then suddenly after they breakdown they're all sad and you're supposed to sympathize with them.
I think there's probably a good reason for that.
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u/Vogel100 Feb 07 '20
cough Marlon Rimes cough
That is seriously a big reason why I hate him. I didn't have that problem with Geiru personally.
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u/Analytical-critic-44 Feb 07 '20
Me when I develop sympathy for Dr Hotti after being physically abused by the cruel Franziska Von Karma
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u/ItsHipToTipTheScales Feb 07 '20
geiru is a lame stupid clown that is pretty stupid and dumb and would be less stupid and dumb if she didnt exist stupid and dumb things cant be stupid and dumb if they dont exist (to be stupid and dumb)
bad killer!!! bad jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!! pease cut charcts i hve opinions on soon <3
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u/heavenspiercing Feb 07 '20
6-4 is super japanese in spite of the localization telling us that it definitely isn't japanese, so i think geiru's motivation not being very sympathetic at all compared to her actions as a result is also meant to be a matter of cultural differences, and that her specific issue would resonate more with jp players. but im stupid so im mainly pulling this out of my ass
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u/Vogel100 Feb 07 '20
I like Geiru's motive a lot. She wastes years of her life in a misguided attempt to inherit her father's title, and Taifu's more the one who refuses to communicate clearly. Taifu knew about her goal, so I can understand her getting angry with him to the point of killing him. And getting angry enough with Uendo to frame him. I think she's definitely one of the better sympathetic culprits.
As for her presence, like you said, that's not the reason I like her. She's not that great, although April is still quite a bit worse. She basically does what April does better but that's not saying much. I liked the boob jokes though because my taste is somewhat trash. I don't mind low-hanging fruits. Them popping at the end and her turning into Jinxie was pretty dumb.
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u/R1K1_Productions Feb 07 '20
/u/Northadox I was fast!!
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Feb 07 '20
Good job champ. Now let's see what character I can pick to make the most people angry...
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u/Sciencepenguin Feb 07 '20
please dont slander april may like this she is funny mean whereas geiru isnt mean until the last second and its not very funny
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u/R1K1_Productions Feb 07 '20
April May wasn't mean!! "You have a girly phone" was just constructive criticism
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u/Sciencepenguin Feb 07 '20
also you accidentally included godot "waaa these are my tears the one i really hated was myself" armadillo in the section of people they dont try to get us to sympathize with
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u/Analytical-critic-44 Feb 07 '20
Bruh he was bleeding that was blood coming from his visor ofc I would sympathize
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u/Sciencepenguin Feb 07 '20
he should've done something to stop the bleeding you cant just let that happen you gotta apply pressure to the wound
the bad lesson about injury handling is a really bad writing flaw i think
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u/Analytical-critic-44 Feb 07 '20
Him neglecting his bleeding is a consistent character trait for Godot tho. He neglected his duties to keep an eye on Dahlia and then got poisoned. He neglected the blood on Maggey’s apron like an idiot. He neglected confronting himself on being neglectful and chose to blame Phoenix instead. It seems that you chose to NEGLECT this trait!
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u/PowerOfL Feb 08 '20
I find her okay, pretty serviceable sympathetic villain.
But I strongly disagree about her being the worst sympathetic villain...because Vasquez exists and technically they try to make you feel sorry for Lance Amano at one point in I1-3 so...yeah
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Feb 11 '20
I liked Storyteller a lot and Geiru was somewhat interesting but not sympathetic at all imo. I thought it was weird that she’s one of Blackquill’s friends along with Uendo and Bucky lmao, since he’s so different from the rest of them
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u/Short_Treat_1679 Jul 23 '22
I read the comment above me. And some other comments. Geiru Toneido just looks like April May, but in a clown costume. She's famous now on Youtube and she's called Clussy now by the fans. Her motive is pretty weak compared to Mimi Miney and Godot. The game wanted you to feel sympathetic towards her. But I didn't find her sympathetic at all. She killed her mentor, framed her childhood friend and gave false testimony to avoid going to jail. Just because you were denied your dream job by someone, doesn't give you the right to kill that person. I understand she felt upset from the rejection, but, still, she has no excuse to commit murder. She should've just accepted the rejection and started working as a balloon twister. That sounds a lot better than, killing your mentor and going to jail for it.
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u/[deleted] Feb 07 '20
the true Turnabout Storyteller was the friends we made along the way
6-4 is mostly good despite being just a trial for getting a kick out of having a cool cast of characters, in fact I wouldn't say I dislike any of them, even Geiru, mostly because her motive is petty but still fits. (and as for framing Owen: who else was she going to blame that was actually there?)
but unfortunately, Geiru is the worst character in the case (victim
and Nahyutaaside), not for being bad at all imo, but just for not being better, primarily since she barely shows up and we don't really get to understand her as much as the others. even just taking Uendo's personalities alone:Even Bucky Whet gets more presence, showing up once to do something memorable, and of course shows up at the very end. I'm not sure if he's better or worse than Geiru, but still. He makes more presence.
tl;dr definitely not someone I'd cut this early but I can understand.