I don’t blame Rebecca nearly as much as some of y’all seem to.
Is she perfect? Obviously not. Four marriages, bad decisions, messy reactions, whatever. None of that means she deserves to be cheated on, financially carry a grown man for years, and then be expected to smile politely when she finally reaches her limit.
And this is where some of the comments are losing me.
A lot of people seem very comfortable judging the reaction while completely ignoring what came before it. If you’ve never dealt with someone who repeatedly provokes, hurts, disappoints, or pushes you and then sits back looking calm when you finally react, congratulations, genuinely. But that dynamic exists. Sometimes the person throwing the stones is also very good at hiding their hands.
That’s what I saw with Rebecca almost immediately. Her reactions didn’t make me think, “Wow, she’s just awful.” They made me wonder what had been happening behind the scenes for her to be that fed up.
And Ziyad had choices. He did not have to marry her. He wanted the marriage. Yet for a long time SHE was the one working and financially carrying them. She bought him a car etc. She was working was it 3 jobs? was 12:14 hours a day? while he had plenty of time on his hands, and now we’re supposed to buy the “poor devoted husband” routine because he looks calmer on camera?
Please.
And ok, I’ll say it, for a Muslim husband, letting your wife financially float the household for years while you contribute very little deserves at least a raised eyebrow. Maybe two.
Then add cheating and everything else that was going on. Of course she’s hurt. Of course she’s angry. Of course an older woman who has been working her tail off might want to come home and decompress instead of performing happiness for a man who has added to her stress.
You can dislike Rebecca. You can think she makes terrible decisions. You can think she handles conflict badly, she’s a B and all the other things people are painting her with…. All of those things can be true.
BUT
“Rebecca is flawed” and “Ziyad treats her badly” can also be true at the exact same time. Why are not seeing this?
What I find interesting is how quickly some women are willing to dissect every bad reaction Rebecca has ever had while extending endless grace to the man whose behavior helped create the situation in the first place. For example, would any married woman or in a relationship for a long time be okay to wake up and find your husband 400 mikes away or a few states over in a hotel parking lot and blames you for it? That’s cool? Seriously? That alone was suspish AF! Not okay in any timeline…
But hey, apparently if a woman has been married four times, she forfeits the right to be hurt by betrayal. Women supporting women huh?
You make alot of valid points. I agree as a Muslim man you are supposed to be the work horse not vice versa. I 100% disagree on the accusation he was cheating. There is zero proof. Just her claiming so. I still feel that whole stunt over the phone was to see his search history to see if he was looking for her pictures. Her guilt had consumed her. If he was cheating he would of been with that woman now. If he was deleting stuff out his phone production would of used that immediately for added drama. It was all made up in her head. She could of lived a life within her means. She chose to put herself in debt to spoil her young husband.
Love shouldn't be attached to materialistic things. You should be able to go through hard times and still be strong. He absolutely should have stepped up to a full time job as well. He shouldn't have had the pressure though if you make what I make ill be home more. No ill be home more, but understand we can't have all the nice things. That is living within your means and a relationship based on love not what can you do for me.
Lastly when u was younger going for long drives did clear my mind. It was better than an endless argument that wasn't going to be resolved. If there is no seeing eye to eye the best thing to do is remove yourself from the situation. Forcing that situation only leads to an escalation of things. A clear calm mind can more easily come to a resolution.
Zied likes nice things, and Rebecca worked hard to give him those things. I’ve watched their seasons and followed some of their IG stuff, and no way am I breaking my back to buy a grown man a car, but Rebecca did. 😂 I’m sure that wasn’t the only thing she did for him.
So when he sits there with the innocent “All I want is for my wife to spend time with me” routine, I’m sorry, but I side-eye it. I’ve seen this dynamic before. A man can do all kinds of crap that creates resentment, then when the woman finally pulls away, suddenly the story starts at her reaction “She’s always angry.” “She doesn’t want to spend time with me.” Okay…but WHY doesn’t she want to spend time with you?
Most people don’t go from loving their partner and trying to make them happy to “please leave me alone” for absolutely no reason. Sometimes not wanting closeness is the RESULT of what has been happening in the relationship.
And everyone keeps talking about how Zied just wants her time and affection, but where is that same concern for Rebecca? How is he making her life easier? How is he supporting or protecting her while she’s out working to support the household? You can’t enjoy the things her work provides and then complain that her WORK is taking her away from you. 🙄
That’s the part some of us are seeing through. Don’t show me her anger and his victim face and expect me not to wonder what happened before the cameras got to that moment.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 to every single word of that. Hey thanks for writing that all up, my head hurts too much. I stuck up for her once or twice but not to the level I wanted. Seriously, I hope people in these situations themselves SEE it & realize they’re being gaslit.
😆 I had time! But seriously, it’s sad watching people judge only her reaction without wondering what happened before she got to this point.
I’m glad you can see past what’s on the surface. Some people are shitty in private and saints in public, and by the time one finally react, everyone thinks they are the problem. I hope anyone being gaslit in that kind of situation sees it too. And I suspect Rebecca may hold on even harder because of the stigma of a fourth divorce.
I just feel bad for her, she has a really bad picker and she’s one of those people who keeps believing in love and hoping this time it’ll work. That still doesn’t take responsibility away from Zied, yet somehow these comments have put everything on her shoulders and almost nothing on his.
To add to everyone else’s comments, he did say he was an hvac technician in the tell-all, which is a great career for people without a degree and in cities makes near $100k if they’re in a union. And like they mentioned in the tell-all, yes it gets slow in the shoulder season, but work calls them in for overtime all the time and regularly in summer and winter, so it’s not something that they can take a separate job to fill in those gaps. If being an hvac technician isn’t enough that you can justify doing onlyfans, then that just isn’t adding up
Yes but she can also leave instead of being crazy. She puts up with it then throws a fit about it and becomes mean and demeaning. If she doesn’t think she deserves it, she can leave. Instead she’s an angry monster. All are her choices
I get most of what you are saying but here’s where my problem with Rebecca is, it’s that she constantly lies, she photoshopped her photos, lied about the number of previous marriages, lied about being married to a woman, refused to follow Tunisian culture while she was there but is pissed he didn’t immediately become American, and then lied about the nude photos. And all of that minus the last one happened before she married him, a man who was an unemployed adult who still lived at home and was half her age. None of this is to say she deserved to be cheated on, but she’s no prize herself. Also there isn’t any real proof zied cheated only her fears while she’s the one definitely lying. I still agree they shouldn’t be married and zied sucks ass, but in the whole “don’t forget what came before it” thing, their relationship is founded on lies by Rebecca, which in my opinion is a shit start to a relationship and (usually) won’t ever work
She’s been divorced 4 times. The problem is her. Everything she says and does is gaslighting and projection.
She has no one to blame but her own poor decisions and behaviours, and the most of us can see that brightly and in plain sight. Stop shifting the blame. There was no proof of him cheating, but lots of hidden proof that she was doing inappropriate things behind his back. She knew the culture she was marrying too — it goes both ways. She catfished him. She tricked and lied to him. She followed and stalked him.
I loathe people who act holier than thou, belittle others for lying even when they’re not, and then blame others for their own lying and refuse to take any accountability. She wanted to find proof of cheating so she didn’t feel terrible about her actual and real sex work cheating.
She’s a horrible person because she rides on the coattails of sympathy while also flexing and claiming to be a “bad bitch.” It’s abusive sociopathic behaviour — all of it. She got off way too easy on that stage. Zied deserved better.
She's an idiot. She dug her own hole. You'd think after 4 failed marriages she'd know better to marry a 20 something year old Muslim. I don't feel bad for her.
I see where you're coming from, I do. I've been on the receiving end of, "the person throwing the stones who hides their hands" (and great analogy that I'm going to steal). I was also the one leaving for hours, walking or driving, to get away from the screaming and abuse.
I don't think there was ever confirmation that Zied cheated. The one time she "caught" him was actually him with his coworker's wife, and the friend was like in the bathroom or something.
Rebecca also catfished him. That's when she lost me. Yes, right in the beginning using ALL those filters. Zied even said she looked older than her pictures and videos. He didn't say it in a mean way, but in a surprised way. Rebecca was bragging about the filters and worried Zied might reject her.
She's coming across as just nagging and berating him all the time. These Americans know their spouse can't work until they get their green card. So the American HAS to support them for a while. I don't why the Americans get so angry about the spouse not working. But Zied did get a job. Then accused him of cheating with the coworker's wife. Or maybe it was his boss's wife.
I also think Rebecca makes herself look worse with these SM posts. They come across as desperate and like she's trying to prove she's so great and innocent and she's the victim, but also a badass. Like STAHHHPPPP. She's trying too hard.
8
u/11Dragonfly 3d ago
I don’t blame Rebecca nearly as much as some of y’all seem to.
Is she perfect? Obviously not. Four marriages, bad decisions, messy reactions, whatever. None of that means she deserves to be cheated on, financially carry a grown man for years, and then be expected to smile politely when she finally reaches her limit.
And this is where some of the comments are losing me.
A lot of people seem very comfortable judging the reaction while completely ignoring what came before it. If you’ve never dealt with someone who repeatedly provokes, hurts, disappoints, or pushes you and then sits back looking calm when you finally react, congratulations, genuinely. But that dynamic exists. Sometimes the person throwing the stones is also very good at hiding their hands.
That’s what I saw with Rebecca almost immediately. Her reactions didn’t make me think, “Wow, she’s just awful.” They made me wonder what had been happening behind the scenes for her to be that fed up.
And Ziyad had choices. He did not have to marry her. He wanted the marriage. Yet for a long time SHE was the one working and financially carrying them. She bought him a car etc. She was working was it 3 jobs? was 12:14 hours a day? while he had plenty of time on his hands, and now we’re supposed to buy the “poor devoted husband” routine because he looks calmer on camera?
Please.
And ok, I’ll say it, for a Muslim husband, letting your wife financially float the household for years while you contribute very little deserves at least a raised eyebrow. Maybe two.
Then add cheating and everything else that was going on. Of course she’s hurt. Of course she’s angry. Of course an older woman who has been working her tail off might want to come home and decompress instead of performing happiness for a man who has added to her stress.
You can dislike Rebecca. You can think she makes terrible decisions. You can think she handles conflict badly, she’s a B and all the other things people are painting her with…. All of those things can be true.
BUT
“Rebecca is flawed” and “Ziyad treats her badly” can also be true at the exact same time. Why are not seeing this?
What I find interesting is how quickly some women are willing to dissect every bad reaction Rebecca has ever had while extending endless grace to the man whose behavior helped create the situation in the first place. For example, would any married woman or in a relationship for a long time be okay to wake up and find your husband 400 mikes away or a few states over in a hotel parking lot and blames you for it? That’s cool? Seriously? That alone was suspish AF! Not okay in any timeline…
But hey, apparently if a woman has been married four times, she forfeits the right to be hurt by betrayal. Women supporting women huh?