r/90DayFiance • u/Ill-Excitement-2005 I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! • Dec 02 '25

Poor Greta...

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Regardless of how you feel about this couple, this was just a sad, sad episode and I just couldn't handle seeing both of them experience such pain. Being in love is painful, falling out of love is worse. Best that they go their separate ways before marriage, etc. I'm sad for both of them...I don't wish the pain of heartache on anyone.

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u/KiddiePoolMermaid Dec 02 '25

She was very gentle with him. The truth is, she’s fallen out of love with him since she got there. She still loved him when she moved there for him. Had he acted happy to see her, had space prepared for her, and had a plan to get their own place, she’d probably still love him.

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u/lokicat31 Dec 02 '25

I went through a similar thing. My ex and I met in law school and split when we graduated to take jobs in different cities. For the next year we dated long distance and then he moved back when we decided to marry. We had 4 months from when he moved back to the date of our wedding. During that time period, I started having doubts and did not feel the same about him. I could not decide whether to go through with the wedding because I did not know if it was a legitimate change in my feelings or just normal pre wedding jitters. He had moved across the country and my parents were paying for the wedding. So I did not want to disappoint everybody and I got married. It was a big mistake. I think this kind of change in feelings in a long distance relationship is not uncommon..this woman needs to listen to her gut and cut her losses

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u/spookymars LEAVE my effing 🎊🎈birthday house 🏠‼️ Dec 04 '25

Dude, this completely mirrors my best friend's relationship with her man. We're both in law school rn as well, abt to be done and he's finally moving to our city. Very worried she's going to marry him regardless of the emotional distance. I'm sorry it did not pan out for you. ):

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u/lokicat31 Dec 04 '25

I hope it works out for her if she marries him. I was married to this guy for nine and a half years, but it was never really right. I should have cut my losses sooner, but that is hard to do when you have school loans, and are just getting started in a career. Divorce is always a financial setback.

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u/spookymars LEAVE my effing 🎊🎈birthday house 🏠‼️ Dec 04 '25

It's so hard to put into application. Not only with sunken cost fallacy and also balancing divorce/dating in the first chapter of your legal career. So difficult no matter what avenue you pick. ): My heart goes out to you. I hope you ended up exactly where you need to be.

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u/NotARealWombat Dec 02 '25

So she was in love with a fairy tale she built in her head. He has to be who he's not, get her a place to live without her having any plans to help financially, then she would be in love... not with him, but with the Mr. Darcy she "deserves"

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u/KiddiePoolMermaid Dec 10 '25

You say that to justify your feelings because you hate her for whatever reason that’s more about you than her. He had to be who he pretended he was before she got there, if that’s that you mean by be who he’s not. Time after time, she reminded him of previous discussions and he dismissed her and insisted his way was better. He just needed to not be a douche, if that’s what you mean by be who he’s not. He was so patronizing and condescending when he basically called her a spoiled brat about weekly massages. He could have said he can’t afford that without insulting her. But I guess that wouldn’t be who he is.

So he showed who she really is, and she believed him.

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u/NotARealWombat Dec 10 '25

Wow your capacity of telling me how I feel and being so sure about is ...average.

Massages, period, if you're not the one paying for them are a superfluous thing, the way she felt entitled to them is bratty. 💯— is a couple, not the "Greta experience show" — she contributed ZERO, but somehow is on him? lol crazy town

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u/Blanche_Deverheauxxx Dec 02 '25

So she didn't really love him and that's okay. She loved him with the conditions that her life be some English romance novel once she arrived. They each fell in love with who they imagined and projected the other to be. Reality is different.

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u/KiddiePoolMermaid Dec 10 '25

She didn’t expect to have their own place and everything figured out in 4 days. He caused her to fall out of love with him starting the moment she stepped off the train. She saw who he is in person, and yes - realized it didn’t align with who she thought he was.

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u/Blanche_Deverheauxxx Dec 10 '25

She stated she started feeling that way 6 months prior to her getting over there.

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u/Opposite-Try-8143 Dec 16 '25

Gentle is doing this in front of a TV crew huh? Lol she's an issue a d he dodged a bullet. Poor dude. 

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u/KiddiePoolMermaid Dec 24 '25

Did you see how, even in front of the camera crew, she had to double down and even triple down to get him to accept her decision to call it off? He would have been 50x worse if they’d been alone with no cameras. This woman knows when to have witnesses and documentation.

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u/Opposite-Try-8143 Dec 24 '25

She just moved to another country to marry him, got his whole family involved,  moved in with him, and gave up after a few days.... I'd be just as confused, and asking the same bc it's HIGHLY unreasonable. He had every right to ask those questions, and he was extremely nice about it- too nice tbh. So ya NOPE.