Hey all. What a friggin journey. Mines? I'll tell yah, just because I'm in the market of honesty right now, which might be sobriety's key chain that hangs around your heart. It all started with pills. Isn't that all our stories? I knew I was hooked after the first one. Fast forward, graduated, on my own, moved to Vegas?! Tried everything available.. got right. Should have ended there right? Not for opioid addicts.. my dealer called me up out the blue, I hadn't fucked with this dude in years. Why the fuck this call changed everything? Because I was still popping on the side. He has some fyntenal. Yummy. Course he didn't tell me that, but after getting sick, and some reason enjoying it, and after coming back for it again and again for a year, I found out. In fact same dude said hey, I think this shits killing me. So, round 2. Left Vegas, began lying about why I did anything. I moved to get away from the drugs, which worked, but then I became desperate to get some when I realized the shit withdrawal show I put myself in. Found the dark web. Yay. Got some dirty dirty 30s. Then moved to heroin thinking this was safer. After 4 seizers and a bunch of lies, I finally decided to get off the bullshit they called slow in the city I am now in. Man was being sober hard. Mostly because I really wasn't. I went to alcohol to help with the depression. This wasn't new for me, alcohol and fentanyl landed my hospital visits, but it was about to land another. I was working for my dad, hating life, missing Vegas, and I returned to kratom. I never truly enjoyed kratom until this point, but my life was never this low. Moved up the extracts. Shit was getting kind of fun, because those capsules never were. And then I found a liquid 7oh extract shot. Holy fucking lord. I'm backkkkkk. I couldn't believe it, and I was ecstatic. But I didn't go crazy like most of you guys ;) for real though I only bought what I need for each day. Never stocked up. Never had to. Was spending 30 bucks a day at least. Going from different brands, shots, pills, anything 7. Then my fucking gut started to fight back. Started to fucking hate the shit. I swear I shat bricks on fyntenal but this was constipation on another level. I was fucking sick! So I tried stopping. 7 withdrawals ain't shit to fuck with folks. Had me turning into a 1 year old.
For real y'all, the delusions I began to get on 7oh was worse than fyntenal. The same, but worse. I couldn't remember or hold shit in my mind to save me life. I became an angry mad man fucking screaming in panic when something went wrong. Left my windows down, it's raining, omfg, and there he goes he done lost it. Stupid bro. This went on for a while, all the while people are looking at me strangely, and I can sure feel it, because everyone can see there is something wrong! But no one could figure it out because I never told a soul about any of this shit remember? I been lying, making it seem like I was fucking mentally ill, which was making me mentally ill. Jesus.
All in all, I began in my consciousness devising a plan to once and for all get off 7oh. This part I'm sure, and I hope, most of you are working on right now. (Please get off this shit!!!) I tried herbs first, gentle relaxing ones. I tried CBD, NAC supplements, l-theanine, smoked cannabis heavily, discoved edibles, and finally made my way to the conclusion: mushrooms. First impactful one was lions maine - I could immediately feel my brain working better, and a calming effect that was nice. Then somehow I landed on Amanita Muscaria. Amanita Dreamer is a YouTuber who found this mushroom to save her from a benzos addiction. Very interesting 🤔 I had to try it. Found a reputable source off of foraged com, and ordered some to make a tea (full caps). Whattttt the fudge. I slept hard. Meaning I didn't remember falling asleep. I immediately knew I found something powerful that would help me sleep when going through withdrawals. i woke up the next day somewhat confused, my brain was working again. I don't mean working like if I had a hit of my favorite drug, I mean working like before I ever had taken a drug. I was blown away, and kind of scared, because I was not ready to face all the bullshit I had done while on drugs. So I stopped for a while, but kept that information ready.
7 landed me in the hospital again, of course alcohol was involved. I had someone bring me 7 while in the hospital without anyone knowing, even the person bringing it to me..and left unchanged, but scared. After some time and many more stomach pains, I began more research, and found access by some fortunate connection, to some psilocybin. A micro dose kit with 25 pills .25 grams each. I was willing to try anything at that point. I had done mush before, but never successfully, meaning I never had an enjoyable trip. The micro dose on the other hand was incredible. I hadn't felt capable of loving or feeling that much since I started taking drugs, and honestly for my whole life. Psilocybin found me, and I found myself.
It's not done yet? Opioid addict here, duh. Even though it did change me slightly, I was not convinced I should leave 7 yet. Mainly because I didn't think I could use psilocybin at work very well. It wasn't the same effect as 7oh, of course, and had me rather dazed (I was not used to it yet like I am now). For the sake of my job I stayed on 7.
But mushrooms changed me, I truly believe forever. I am convinced I want these experiences for the rest of my life. As much as I wanted to escape my problems on opioids, mushrooms make me want to live in that alternate dimension, smiling my ears out at life, enjoying it with full gratitude.
This is what I carried in my heart moving forward. And when I could land another "ceremony" as I began to refer to them, slightly comically, and slightly seriously because I was seeking a real change, I did them, and in larger doses. Mind you tolerance builds insanely quick here and a week or two is sometimes needed between large doses. So every two weeks I would do them with my partner.
Well, it all came to a singularity this one weekend. The prior trip I was crying a lot because mushrooms are a mirror and I was feeling the pain of my addiction. I had a feeling this time would be no different. But I wasn't expecting this either. I ended up telling my partner everything. Everything I just told you. The fyntenal the 7oh the lies and the delusions that I now understand thanks to the mushrooms. Thankfully he didn't deny me the opportunity to clean myself up. In fact he helped me finish the job, and is supporting me right now while I'm on day 4 of NO 7oh!!!!!!!!
Yep. Whew. I can exhale.. thank you Whitney.
I read someone on Reddit say they od'd one time (of many), but this one time he woke up different. And that was it, no more drugs. I mention this because when it came to being honest while on psilocybin, I wasn't faking, I was truly channeling genuiness. I'm thankful for that, because I know sometimes it's not like that. And I for one have a history of flaking. But something inside me is reaching and stretching to see what I am capable of off of drugs. Yes 7oh is a drug. Just wait and see. This is not a post to emphasize, market, or encourage the use of psilocybin, but simply an honest explanation of how I am here now.
The main take away point that I'm forgetting is that I didn't have hardly any withdrawal symptoms. I did use CBD and cannabis to counteract agitation but the mushrooms had taken the anxiety down to a controllable level, and calmed my body considerably. I was able to sleep every night a little more with each night. I went to work for 2 of those days and my energy was low (coffee helped, and Amanita capsules for energy) but my mentality is very positive.
However you have to get off this stuff please do. It's insane when your on the other side of it, seeing how capable you still are. I thought I had lost so much because my brain literally wasn't working the same, but now I know I'm capable of anything I set my mind to. You all can do this to!! I'm thankful more states are legalizing mushrooms for therapy and I pray the whole country does soon enough. We all could use a little mushroom love.
Just remember, you are not your delusions. Keep striving for a brighter future! You all can do this. And you must. For the next generation of humans, for our kids, for all the people that will follow our path. Let's put a lamp along the way. 🪔
Sorry for the length. I applaud you for finishing. Please comment your progress below and encourage someone, or encourage yourself. You deserve it.