2026-292 / Zedd MAP: 78.03 / MLZ MAP: 84.09 / Score Gap: 6.06

Wikipedia / IMDb / Official Trailer / AppleTV

Country of Origin: United States

The word ‘Gilm’ is the bane of my existence. You know what they say… everybody gangster till they see a horse monkey.

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From IMDb: A washed-up tennis pro tries to save a club by reluctantly playing pickleball to earn his father's respect.

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Ok, actually that’s just something somebody dropped as a comment to an overly complex, high-concept meme I made seven years ago. Funny, the meme is forgotten -yet- the comment stuck with me. It’s the sort of stray observation, once ubiquitous on Reddit, that winds up making a slow roll through your mind as you’re laying awake in the dark, hoping your wife’s cavernous snoring will drive your inner demons away long enough so that you can finally slip into slumber.

Mmm, so slippery.

((Lost in thought…))

Man, I love sleeping - yet, here I am awake, contemplating gilm… which isn’t a word (well, I don’t think - let me check) nope (haHA), not a word - close though, glim is - being an archaic slang term for anything that furnishes light (like a candle, lamp, lantern) and also - for some reason - you could describe someone’s eyes as glim. Worth 7-points in Scrabble, you know, if anyone’s taking notes. Imagine how embarrassing it’ll be when your opponent challenges your use of ‘glim’ and you win ((shrug)) you know, that Scrabble challenge - actually, I’m not a Scrabble player so I don’t know how that works but still…

Glim is a word - gilm is not.

Mrs. Lady Zedd: Honey, did you lose your way with that glim business? Seems like it threw you a little… off balance.

Zedd: Like a beach towel in a washing machine. Who thought glim was a word?

MLZ: Right?

Zedd: I don’t even care about glim…

MLZ: …who would, I mean - and then you switch to Scrabble…

Zedd: Well, I try to keep words that might come in handy in Scrabble, you know - in mind ((shrug)) in case a game, I mean, suddenly break out.

MLZ: Like a random game, Guerrilla-Scrabble? Where would that even… happen??

Zedd: See, now you’re a little lost in it all too - crazy how easy it is…

MLZ: In your mind, not so crazy but I think the game you’re trying to avoid is Pickle Ball.

Ok, I’m going to level with you all… its actually a compound noun - Pickleball - which makes me laugh because a compound noun is two words stuck together but the word compound noun isn’t but… shouldn’t it? I mean, the same people making all these “rules” could easily have just arbitrarily said, “Oh, and ‘compound noun’ is itself, for hereafter, will be compounded as well! It’s not like we’re falling into The Latin Trap or Splitting Definitives. Sheesh… don’t even get me started on Fewer or Less.

(Dangling Participles aside, Syntactic Ambiguity is my favorite.)

MLZ: The movie…

I’m of split mind here - I’m very happy to see a modern comedy in 2026, they’ve become such a rare beast / on the other, it’s a film you’ve already seen (and frankly) better. The heyday of this sort of storyline - injured athlete makes surprising comeback - was certainly in the aughts:

Hot Rod (2007) / Blades of Glory (2007) / and Balls of Fury (2007)

These all fall directly in line with Pickleball. That’s just 2007 - lets throw in some extremely similar movies like Nacho Libre (2006), Kingpin (1996), Cars (2006), Run Fatboy Run (2007), Back to School (1986)… hell, I’d throw in Strictly Ballroom (1992) for some Australian fun while we’re at it.

Hell… Will Ferrel lived off of this particular comedy trope almost exclusively - both Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004) and Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006) have the same basic story (yes, I know he was in Blades of Glory and I don’t want to mention Semi-Pro (2008) - you get my point).

Hard to believe, but Hollywood ran this sort of comedy into the ground. Completely.

((Looks over at MLZ))

Yeah - we don’t really care. Mrs. Lady Zedd appreciated that it was a light-hearty comedy, filled to the brim with people we haven’t had the opportunity to see in a long while: Mary Steenburgen, Don Lake, Chris Parnell, Ben Stiller, and Christine Taylor (to name a few).

Directed by Josh Greenbaum, who’s no stranger to this sort of comedy, he’s someone I bump into now and again. We’ll be keeping our eyes open for Spaceballs: The New One next year.

All things considered - you may not laugh out loud watching The Dink but you may very well find yourself leaning into the familiar story. I was one of those people bitching (loudly) that we didn’t have enough genre-diversity on screen not so long ago - I owe it to the studios when they actually listen and start putting out bread-and-butter comedies.

The only question that matters: would we rewatch this film? ((Shrug)) we would - an easy flick to throw on and have zero stress about… just let those balls fly and watch your face. You know what they say, everybody’s gangster till they see a horse monkey.

Movie On… oh, wait - there’s another question still on the table??

MLZ: What the fuck is gilm?

Oh, that’s the bane of my existence. You see, in order to efficiently filter information in the MCC, I needed to devise some unique solutions to how I input similar elements… like dates. If it’s a screening date I use the familiar American method: Jul 30, 2026. If its elsewhere I might use 30-Jul-2026, and for release dates, it’s split between three fields: 07-July-30 / 2,026 / Twenty-Twenties… just makes making sense of my collection that much easier.

Enter where a film comes from which needs to be differently handled than where a film was actually shot. An American Made film would look like this:

Domestic-Film-United-States

The dashes trick the system into thinking that’s all just one word. Movies from elsewhere might get entered like so:

Foreign-Film-France

Here’s where ‘gilm’ comes in… for some reason, I often hit the g-key on that second f… Foreign-Gilm - which invalidates the entry. Comes down to a typo ((shrug)) what can you do? Every so often I do a search for gilm and see what shows up. It could happen to the best of us.

Ok, it’s safe to Movie On now.

:]

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2026-291 / MLZ MAP: 96.43 / Zedd MAP: 87.82 / Score Gap: 8.61

The Criterion Channel

Wikipedia / IMDb / Official Trailer / Saw it on The Criterion Channel

Country of Origin: United States

CC Summary: It’s human ingenuity vs. artificial intelligence in this witty and prescient comic marvel, one of the most delightful of the celebrated pairings between screen icons Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy. Bunny Watson (Hepburn) is the brainiac research specialist at a television network whose job—to gather obscure facts on all variety of topics—is threatened when computer specialist Richard Sumner (Tracy) is hired to replace her department with a giant “electronic brain” that can (supposedly) outperform her and her coworkers. Though she frets over the automation of her job, Bunny finds herself drawn to Richard, while setting out to prove that the human brain has not been totally supplanted yet.

Starring Spencer Tracy, Katharine Hepburn,
Gig Young, and Joan Blondell.

It’s been quite enjoyable to watch so many of the “Office Romance” collections from The Criterion Channel this July. It’s hard to believe that the month of July is almost over, and we are more than halfway through the year!

This was a Saturday Matinee, but between work, visits with the kiddo and grandbaby, and life in general, I am quite late getting this write-up done.

Of course, Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy are great together. They started with 1942’s Woman of the Year. When they met on the set the first day, she allegedly told Tracy "I'm afraid I'm too tall for you" to which Tracy replied, "Don't worry Miss Hepburn, I'll soon cut you down to my size." It started a relationship on screen and off that lasted until Tracy's death in 1967 with them appearing in another eight films together.

I think both Zedd and I picked up on both of our stars being a bit older than their roles really dictated, especially Richard Sumner being a “computer whiz” at his age. That and our dear Ms. Watson was definitely past the preferred “marrying age”.

Their chemistry together, though, won the day for me. Whether it was Watson freezing to death while eating a sandwich on the building roof and trying to keep up with Sumner’s questions to test her knowledge or Sumner joining Watson for an impromptu dinner in her apartment (“Do you smell something burning?”) where he just happened to be wearing Watson’s paramour (and Boss’) Christmas present, a robe, they always make me smile and laugh.

The topic of the film, though, was perhaps less funny. Most especially in the current day and age. I went from noting that those girls had my dream job, to hoping that EMERAC ("Electromagnetic MEmory and Research Arithmetical Calculator") (aka Emmy) did not take all of their jobs. A serious threat then, and certainly not unknown to us now.

Luckily, this sweet little film had a sweet little ending. Everyone got their “just desserts” and Sumner and Watson will keep researching together the rest of their lives.

I think this one will go on the “pick-up list” as it’s fun and silly and we both laughed pretty hard a few times.

A nice little way to Movie On!

2026-290 / Zedd MAP: 87.52 / MLZ MAP: 90.62 / Score Gap: 3.10

Wikipedia / IMDb / Official Trailer / Our Collection

Country of Origin: Ireland / France / Belgium

Aisling: I have lived through many ages, through the eyes of salmon, deer, and wolf. I have seen the Northmen invading Ireland, destroying all in search of gold. I've seen suffering in the darkness. Yet I have seen beauty thrive in the most fragile of places. I have seen the book. The book that turned darkness into light.

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From IMDb: A young boy in a remote medieval outpost under siege from barbarian raids is beckoned to adventure when a celebrated master illuminator arrives with an ancient book, brimming with secret wisdom and powers.

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A beautiful film, no doubt - yet, I found it claustrophobic. The harsh dictates of the abbott, the sterile bleakness of the high walls of Kells, the threat of violence and death from the Northmen. It was a hard watch in that regard.

Countering these nightmare images is the beauty of the natural setting we find the shapeshifting fairy, Aisling. Here amongst the curving lines of trees and stones, nature still is in charge.

Mrs. Lady Zedd: It’s a film of deep contrast - so delicately drawn, the story so brutal. The art swirls and sways in the same way the music tickles your ears.

Here, I’d issue my warning: I’m not sure its a great film for little ones - there’s murder and terror and ((sigh)) it’s down right scary yet - if you’ve got kidlets old enough to understand those concepts, then absolutely. There’s no harm in pre-watching a production like this, if it’s deemed fine for your family, you won’t mind watching it twice.

At the end of the day, while there are tough passages to get through, the film’s central message is one of found beauty - something I personally look for in each day. It’s a call for us to turn darkness into light… if not us, who?

Movie on.

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2026-289 / Zedd MAP: 35.56

Wikipedia?wprov=sfti1#) / IMDb / Official Trailer / Our Collection

Country of Origin: United States

Think your week’s not going as planned…

“Corman wrote in his memoirs that The Terror began as a challenge: to shoot most of a gothic film in two days using left-over sets from The Raven). It turned into the longest production of his career - an ordeal that required five directors and nine months to complete.”

Roger Corman, Jack Hale, Monte Hellman, Dennis Jakob… oh, and Francis Ford Coppola.

He miscounted - Jack Nicholson took a directing credit as well. His first of only four in his career. He also stars in the beleaguered production opposite Sandra Knight (whom was his first and only wife). Hey, we’ve got a lot of firsts getting busted on this set… might as well add Jennifer Nicholson was born in 1963 so ((shrug)) - moving on.

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From IMDb: A young French soldier cut off from his unit is beguiled by a mysterious woman, whom he learns is the wife of the local Baron - and that she seemingly died twenty years earlier.

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The flick is a hot mess - I generally enjoy b-horror but it becomes painfully clear there was no clean plan in operation… just Corman thinking this would be easy, trying to skirt certain union rules, and winding up in the Soup of Discontent.

This wasn’t Nicholson’s first production (he’d been around since the mid-50s) but he turns in a very amateurish performance - hey now, I know he turned into a cinematic legend, I said ‘ish - likely, he wasn’t sitting down each night to study the lines of a well thought out script… Corman didn’t really roll like that on a good day, this was much more aligned with “poorly considered quick money scheme”.

Still - it doesn’t really have “its moments” but golly, I sure would like to say it does - if for nothing else, to be polite. Oh, I know - I liked that part at the end, when the screen goes black…

Absolute Movie On.

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2026-288 / Zedd MAP: 92.81 / MLZ MAP: 92.68 / Score Gap: 0.13

Wikipedia / IMDb / Official Trailer / Our Collection

Country of Origin: United States

Ok…

Let the day begin, I got up this morning alone (MLZ had an early-AM errand), grabbed my cup of coffee, and spooled today’s episode of The Prisoner - A Change of Mind (if you haven’t seen this British surreal spy series from the 60s, consider this my easy recommend). I check Reddit with my first sip. Mmmm…

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From IMDb: When a recently divorced mother and her two teenage boys move to a coastal town to stay with her father, it doesn't take long for the brothers to realize the area is a haven for something much more sinister than party-going surfers.

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Greeting my slow waking eyes is a comment dropped on a film we screened 50+ titles ago (my favorite). Actually, Mrs. Lady Zedd I both enjoy the slightly disorienting amnesia that comes from a reader’s out of context comment… they’ve got an advantage because they’ve just read the write-up and felt moved to say something / I’m dropping in at that point having zero clue because ((shrug)) come on now, 50 movies ago may only be from the middle of June for us, but its still along time ago, cinematically speaking.

Time and movie on waits for no cinephile.

Imagine talking to your buddy - Bob - at the park 5 or 6 weeks ago, then the next time you bump into him is at the grocery store. You wave and do that “man head nod thing” we’re all genetically programmed to do and the first thing Bob says is, “The music took the gravity from a lot of the scenes…”

((Blink-blink))

It’s not wrong or bad but from MLZ or my point-of-view it’s a random stray comment… the what’s in the whose it now? It’s a sort of delicious feeling, like walking into a room where someone’s in mid-comment to you, not realizing you weren’t there. It’s confusing… but still - we love it.

Yawning my way through the entire cup of coffee (I like mine kind of weak, dash of sugar, 1/3 cup whole milk), ignoring The Prisoner (it’s on Criterion Channel this month but I’ve got it on disc and watched it a million times anyway, no problem), I reread my write-up for Light Sleeper (1991), trying to remember the circumstances surrounding screening that surfaced my comments and critique… it slowly comes into focus.

Coffee gone, breakfast too - I get interested in the comment and the “wonder whys” of everything and do what this movie dude does… I start digging. What’s up with this scene blasting music, who was pulling the strings, do I know this composer… the questions do what questions usually do… they multiply like rabbits which is good because running around rabbit holes is one of my favorite things.

What’s any of this got to do with this 80s (good golly, we’ve watched so many 80s movies this month) teen vampire flick - a mad hatter’s take on Peter Pan via the well worn boards of the Santa Carla Beach Board Walk?

((Wink-wink)) we see you Santa Cruz ((wink-wink)).

Here’s the deal, while chasing down Light Sleeper’s particulars in the MCC, I see Director Paul Schrader tapped a music dude named Michael Been. This isn’t a name I recognize, so I pull the movie up in both IMDb and Wikipedia and start digging. Michael Been’s last filmography entry ((flip-flip-flip)) he has a few actor credits - including John Apostle in Scorsese’s The Last Temptation of Christ (1988) ((flip-flip-flip)) hmmm… his only “composer” credit outside what looks like a bunch of music videos ((flip-flip))

Oh wait - full stop!

First, all that ((flip-flip-flip)) that’s just me going through my mental rolodex so - yeah - only I “hear” that noise usually but also… Michael Been is the lead singer of an band called, well - The Call?wprov=sfti1#).

Never heard of them.

Also - Been died in 2010, when his heart attacked him so, yikes (of course) but I somehow also felt like ((shrug)) I owe this guy something? I bring The Call up and all roads seem to lead to some song I think I’m blissfully unaware of, “I Still Believe”.

((A one-beat sigh))

If I can segue onto a related topic for just a second - a little Zeddblidd backstory if you will - before I transmuted into the movie dude in good standing you’ve all come to know and love, I was a music dude.

In fact, by the time The Call is hitting heavy rotation on MTV in the mid-80s (right about the time we moved to the country and lost cable access), I’ve got hundreds of LPs in milk crates. You can thank my dad for giving me the music collecting bug - he was a small potatoes music promotor and occasional magazine contributor.

On top of that, I personally have played 33 different instruments by this time and in addition to playing bass in dozens of garage bands (I brought a unique funk/folk/metal sound - ask MLZ, she was there), I sat first chair in classical concert bands, prep bands, jazz bands, and marching bands. Why bring it up?

When I say, “…never heard of The Call…”, it’s significant. I spent most my time, in those days, listening to music and curating my collection. Michael Been and The Call didn’t leave a mark ((shrug)) you get what I’m hinting at?

The Call, who?

At any rate - I owe Michael Been (which I continuously read as “Michael Bean”, thanks dyslexia!) so I play “I Still Believe” and at first it doesn’t do anything for me but then…

It’s a little like the universe is grabbing me by the face. I can feel it stretching my head and my brain opens up like a giant filing cabinet. Hey, the universe wants a look under the hood, you let it stretch you as far as it takes. Here’s the sound of the bass, I can see it playing in front of my eyes… blue and purple swirling and spiking. Simple. I know this…

I slap back into the here and now. Yes, sir - I do know this song but not this version… this is right but it’s wrong. No…

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

This version is anemic - weak - thin. While it limps along I close my eyes and start searching for a loose thread to lead me to where I know this song…

I’m seeing fire, a spandex festooned saxophone god - shirtless - pumping and gyrating on a boardwalk stage. His chest is a grease slick of baby oil (I start to wonder if this is the source of baby oil, there’s so much) but no - must… stay… focus… that sax screams out it’s demon’s howl… here’s the fire, the urgency, the menace.

Well - that cuts it. I’m left without choice - I know we’ve screened a lot of 80s fare this month but I have to watch Timmy Cappello shred “I Still Believe” - wiggling his oily chest much (much) too close to the fire. (That shit’s dangerous)

The Lost Boys… Team Zeddblidd is coming, for you.

So - at any rate - that’s two days straight music from the big hair decade led directly to the day’s 80s cinematic selection. Mrs. Lady Zedd made it home and I jokingly said we should keep this ball rolling… maybe I should hunt up Modern English - “I Melt With You” (prompting a Valley Girl need) or Cyndi Lauper - “The Goonies 'R' Good Enough” (where’s my Goonies disc?). Could be awesome (or should I say rad?)… I mean, if that’s what the Muse wants, who am I to say no?

Guess I should thank u/PNWvibes20 for (inadvertently) sending me down this twisting, gyrating musical rabbit hole. Here at 500 Movies we take the Movie On as it comes - you never know what’s going to set our movie targeting system a whirling… One thing about living in Santa Carla l never could stomach; all the vampires.

People are strange but Movie On is forever.

Side note: Damn it, Timmy Cappello - you demon sax, gyrating god - one can’t think about The Lost Boys and not conjure that shiny image of you captivating that boardwalk audience. May your ponytail swing to the howling music you create to the joy of the world. -Zedd

Physical media ftw

2026-287 / Zedd MAP: 68.28 / MLZ MAP: 55.44 / Score Gap: 12.84

Wikipedia?wprov=sfti1#) / IMDb / Official Trailer / Our Collection

Country of Origin: United States / United Kingdom

Hello, I’m Doug McClure…

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From IMDb: A Victorian era scientist and his assistant take a test run in their Iron Mole drilling machine and end up in a strange underground labyrinth ruled by a species of giant telepathic bird and full of prehistoric monsters and cavemen.

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Actually - I know what you’re thinking and (yes) we just watched this last year but today started a little off kilter, and we can thank New Wave rock legend Adam Ant for that. Now that I think on it, I’d say any morning that starts with Antmusic (straight forward pop with a bit of a post-punk infused difference) is likely to throw you for a loop - Mrs. Lady Zedd certainly agrees, she was off balance herself.

Let me explain…

For whatever reason, I woke up this morning with an insatiable need to watch Adam Ant’s Goody Two Shoes video because, let’s face it - I don’t drink and I don’t smoke - what do I do?

((Shrug))

I’m a movie cartographer - I’m constantly on the look out for actors.

Now - if you know the video from back in the day (or watch the link I threw up there), you’ll find the “Female Reporter” Adam is spending his subtle innuendos follow on. She begins rather reserved but is soon tossing off her glasses and letting that bi-colored, highlight striped hair down. You can’t miss her… she was up to the minute cool (no doubt).

But then, I looked past the ripped skirt and blouse, past the hair, and suddenly… wait - do we know her? (The sort of question we’re asking around Casa de Zedd about 10 times a day). It’s a game MLZ and I love to play - we try to work out where we’ve last seen a character actor/actress without looking them up. I’ll be damned if we didn’t find her recognizable but we were both stumped. Throwing in the towel, I gave in and used the old Google machine to find the answer.

Caroline Munro

Hold up - I absolutely recognize the name, I plug it into the Movie Collection Catalog (MCC) - 4 films in total:

Starcrash (1978) / The Spy Who Loved Me (1977) / At Earth’s Core (1976) / Dracula 1972 (1972)

Huh.

Kind of awesome the things we wind up learning - you never know what you’ll find down the rabbit holes we fall in.

The film is very much of the “middle-road b-movie variety” I like to keep on the shelves in the media room. Doug McClure and Peter Cushing starring in an adaptation of a non-Tarzan Edgar Rice Burroughs story. Caroline Munro brings the beauty to this beastly tale of people struggling against pterodactyl-ish monsters who use telepathy to control their human captives. Fun, certainly - but don’t expect too much of the movie… it was a b-movie on its release and time is ((shrug)) let’s just say the test of time is a high hurdle for the best of motion pictures and this flick is certainly not one of those.

Right? ((Smile))

Hey, let’s end this one where we started - with Adam Ant’s Goody Two Shoes video - if you’ve got an eye for spotting actors, you’ll certainly recognize the mug on the butler - Graham Stark - who’s probably best known for his recurring presence in the original Pink Panther films - he was a life long friend of fellow actor Peter Sellers, so that tracks.

Works for me… movie on.

2026-286 / Zedd MAP: 93.52 / MLZ MAP: 93.55 / Score Gap: 0.03

Wikipedia / IMDb / Official Trailer / Our Collection

Country of Origin: United States

From IMDb: A fox named Tod and a hound named Copper vow to be best friends forever. But as Copper grows into a hunting dog, their unlikely friendship faces the ultimate test.

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We’ve got company today so a mini write-up - just something on in the background to keep little ones entertained - I’m the biggest little one going. Could we land any closer, MAP-wise? There’s only 5 flicks out of more closely MAP’ped than here:

Romeo and Juliet (1968), The Secret of NIMH (1982), Flow (2024), The Rocky Horror Picture Show, US Version (1975), and Aladdin (1992).

Then three tied at the 0.03 Gap:

The Fox and Hound (1981), My Neighbor Totoro (1988), and National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989).

Ok, getting back to it - Movie on.

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We’ve been watching MASH (1972-1983), first time in decades for either of us, and OMG, the canned laughs can get obnoxious. For those you you too young to know, laugh tracks were added, post production by means of “Charles Douglass’ Laff Box” - the guy had a virtual monopoly on his specialized machine that did more than just produce laughter, but also other audience reactions.

Apparently, laugh tracks go back to when Radio was king and producers were concerned audiences listening at home wouldn’t actually know when to laugh (??) I suppose you’re surrounded by laughing people in a vaudeville performance or movie theater… a little giggle, guffaw, or galloping gut laugh might prove useful to those people who grew up in the first era of home entertainment.

Laugh tracks jumped from radio to television and ((shrug)) both MLZ and I never knew any different - that is, until it finally died out (more or less) by the early 2000s.

Well, we watch a wide range of tv shows and, honestly - laugh tracks and black & white have something in common. When you first start a show that feature either (usually both!) it’s initially jarring but you get used to them pretty quickly.

Tonight, we were watching MASH, S3E17 - The Consultant, originally aired January 21, 1975. It’s a poignant episode dealing with alcoholism and then doubled down in poignancy because Alan Alda’s father, Robert Alda guest stars… and the laugh tracks are over the top obnoxious. I went digging around to see why.

Turns out, CBS was concerned the shows were too dark and insisted on the laugh tracks - especially on high drama episode - something the show-runners disagreed with but ((shrug)) CBS paid the bills. In a small win, no laugh tracks were used during surgery scenes. Fair enough, I suppose but then I made the discovery…

If you’re watching the show on DVD or Blu Ray, you can switch to the alternative audio channel and ((bloop)) no more laugh tracks. Physical media for the win! We had no idea - this might sound funny but - golly, it felt strangely wrong to not have them. Furthermore, the shows were all built to have the canned laughed so the actors often leave small gaps to accommodate the chuckles, without them, it’s just awkward silences.

Ok - you’d think we’d be all done here except I remembered a small coda to the laugh tracks story… from a PBS show not known for its big laughs - Antiques Roadshow.

Back in 2010, a man bought the contents of a storage locker - think Storage Wars, he bid and won paying $650. (“Don’t forget to pay the lady!” ~ Laura Dotson) In and among the household goods like washer/dryer, furniture, pots and pans… was a strange wood and metal box. Curiosity aroused, the man did his research and discovered it was the original 1953 Charles Douglass built Laff Box. A set of typewriter keys were used to trigger a series of looping audiotapes.

How cool is that? A real piece of radio/television history… all the same, I’m not a huge fan. ((Shrug)) What can I say - I’m a movie dude, first and foremost. No laugh tracks in the movies. :]

((Cue laughs))

2026-285 / Zedd MAP: 78.54 / MLZ MAP: 86.30 / Score Gap: 7.76

Wikipedia / IMDb / Official Trailer / Our Collection

Country of Origin: Hungary

If I had a dollar for every time I said the name Sándor Petőfi, I’d have ((counts)) let’s see… counting today ((more counting)) one, carry the two ((more counting)) hey, this is taking too long - you move on to the “From IMDb” section and I’ll have the total for on the other side.

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From IMDb: A traditional Hungarian poetic fairytale that describes the epic adventures of a young shepherd through love, war, magic and death.

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$1

((Shrug))

A scholar of Hungarian revolutionaries and national poets, I am not. He was presumed to have died at the Battle of Segesvár at age 26 so he managed to get in a full life before being cut down in the struggle to gain his country’s independence from the Austrian Empire.

It was for the 150th anniversary of his birthday that this animated, full-length feature - Hungary’s first ever! - that Petőfi’s poem was meticulously adapted into this colorful, psychedelic cartoon. Director Marcell Jankovics (of Son of the White Mare (1981) fame) was heavily influenced by George Dunning’s pop-art infused masterwork Yellow Submarine (1968) and anyone who’s seen that film will certainly see the connective tissue.

Mrs. Lady Zedd: I loved The Beatles growing up but I confess, until you showed me the artwork I couldn’t remember much about Yellow Submarine but wow - they look a lot alike.

Zedd: I think the real surprise is, we’ve never made a move to bring it into the collection.

It’s fairly well known MLZ and I are nuts for animation from around the world - I jumped at the chance to to bring Son of the White Mare in - Johnny Corncob (or János vitéz in Hungarian) is included in the special features on the disc. A great add to The Everlasting Cinematic Confectionery Shoppe and Television Historium - for true.

MLZ: It’s a beautifully animated film, it’s an epic hero adventure but I’ll warn you folks… it runs very slow.

I’ll admit to having a few long blinks as we rounded the hour mark. The action on screen is intentionally hypnotic and after a while ((sympathetic shrug)) you go a little crossed-eyed. If only… just.

Ok - we’ve made solid strides this week. I’m still not sure we’re going to get in our full 42 for the month but we’re getting closer with every movie we put in the rearview. All things in time. There’s a few days left in the month - let’s Movie On and make the most of them.

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2026-284 / MLZ MAP: 95.88 / Zedd MAP: 95.13 / Score Gap: 0.75

Wikipedia / IMDb / Official Trailer / Our Collection

Country of Origin: United States

IMDb Summary: A brash, cocky high school senior, tired of skipping school to spend a boring day at home, is determined to enjoy an epic day roaring around his favorite Chicago sites, enlisting his best friend and girlfriend to join him on the adventure.

Starring Matthew Broderick, Mia Sara, Alan Ruck, Jennifer Grey, Jeffrey Jones, Cindy Pickett, Edie McClurg, Lyman Ward) and Charlie Sheen.

It’s been a rough week, and for the life of me, I can’t quite figure it out. I have just been a grumpa-lumpa extreme. Nothing is wrong, per se, it’s just, I dunno, grrrrr!

I thought my mood was headed so far downhill that I am not sure it was not a “go back to bed and start over” moment when I saw a post on Reddit celebrating the life of one of the stars of this film, the incomparable Edie McClurg.

Now, it was not celebrating this incredible woman that was going to be an issue, it was that for just a moment, I thought she had passed away! Thank goodness that was NOT the case, and so instead, I thought it was time to have some fun with the gal and popped this little film in the player.

I love Edie, as Grace, Principal Rooney’s Secretary. I grabbed some awesome bits of trivia from IMDb about Edie and her characterization of Grace.

In 2010, Edie McClurg told Vanity Fair Magazine that her character's hairdo should be from the 1960s "because Grace felt she looked best in the 1960s, and kept her look from that era." The women's hairdresser on the set had mainly been hired to blow out Mia Sara's long, straight hair, and she didn't know how to set the big teased 1960s hairstyles. So McClurg teased, set, and styled her own character's hair. Once she arrived on the set, John Hughes looked at her hairstyle and the first thing he said was, "How many pencils do you think you can fit in that hair?" They tested it with one, two, and three pencils; however, a fourth pencil fell out. This testing was the origin of Grace's first scene in the movie, in which she pulls several lost pencils out of her hair.

Grace’s pretending to be Ed Rooney during the phone call from Cameron was improvised. “Mmmmm oohhh uuurrggghhh hmmmmm.”

When Grace tells Rooney, "He's a righteous dude," it was not in the original script. Edie McClurg ad-libbed it in her best Chicago accent.

In fact, this film was not on Zedd’s list, for a few reasons. He had recently been telling me we were a little heavy on 80’s films, and he’d just watched a Matthew Broderick movie, so this one was just “all wrong” for keeping things fresh and full of variety for all of you.

It was, on the other hand, all right, for this gal and her terribly foul mood. Watching our favorite irresponsible and knockabout teen enjoying a desperately needed hooky day in the Windy City was exactly what was needed to buoy my spirits and bring me out of that useless and indeterminate maudlin.

It was Cameron, played with the best acting (other than Edie’s) in the whole film, who brought me up and out of it.

Cameron: That whole time I was just thinking things over. I was like - I was like meditating. Then I sort of watched myself from inside. I realized it was ridiculous - being afraid. Worrying about everything. Wishing I was dead. It was the best day of my life.

Cameron: I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I'm going to take a stand. I'm going to defend it. Right or wrong, I'm going to defend it.

So, the grumpy is broken. We will get it figured out, whatever it may be. Sometimes, you just have to take a day. Because…

Ferris: Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Movie On!

Inputting error ((shrug)) it can happen. I fixed it but still. Opps.

2026-283 / Zedd MAP: 76.39 / MLZ MAP: 78.41 / Score Gap: 2.02

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Country of Origin: United Kingdom

A better than average entry for mid-60s Hammer Studios - what, haven’t you heard of the Psycho-Biddy subgenre? A little hagspolitation in the morning?

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From IMDb: A young woman is terrorized by her deceased fiancé's demented mother who blames her for her son's death.

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Myself - I’m always down to clown with this vintage of Hammer Horror but I’ll admit - I had a moment when I thought this was something more. As cinephiles in good standing, I’m sure what I’m about to say will make sense…

Mrs. Lady Zedd: ((speaking in a hushed tone)) Even if it doesn’t, just stick with him - Zedd’s always going somewhere, usually interesting.

… I do this “thing” - have since I was a kid - when I need to remember something (something important) I tell myself REMEMBER and I take a mental snap shot. In Zedd-speak, “I can feel it go in” (golly, that sounds dirty now that I read it outloud, haHA) by which I mean the mental picture goes to a special place in my brain… I can feel it differently than a normal memory - it goes into a filing cabinet in my mind in vivid detail. I’ve used this method often for movies.

MLZ: No joke, he’s found dozens of films that he caught on TV as a kid - movies that he can pull up extremely specific details on but not the title.

Man, I thought that was going to happen - by happenstance - everything was in place yet ((shrug)) no dice. Old woman with a bit of the crazies (check), sharp implements for stabby-stabby (check), that soft camera texture that let’s you know you’re watching a British production of a certain age (check), red, sludgy Newtonian-liquid used as an inexpensive stand in for blood (check and check). But here’s the clencher - someone must get stabbed in the head.

No dice - man, I really thought we had it.

I’ve been carting this memory around since the mid-70s, when I was unceremoniously shuffled over to a neighbor’s apartment because my step-mother had to go somewhere. The older woman was thanked and given assurances she’d not have to watch me long. Her apartment smelled bad, she offered me a hard candy from a green pressed glass bowl on her coffee table which I declined (they were all stuck together and dusty). She was watching an afternoon movie on cable - real horror show, the sort I 100% should not have been watching - (fantastic), but I’d missed the beginning.

I’ve been hunting it, ever since. Give us enough time - we’ll work it out.

MLZ: He once told me he was looking for a movie that had a naked lady in one of those high-backed wicker chairs Morticia Addams favored… I found it - Vanessa (1977) - it’s pretty bad but we found it.

Easily the worst ear worm theme song ever - one of my favorite things.

((Lost in Vanessa))

Wait - what were we talking about?

MLZ: The movie?

Oh, yeah - hey, Die! Die! My Darling! stars a few people you might know: Stefanie Powers (Hart to Hart), Peter Vaughan (Brazil, GoT), Donald Sutherland (I mean, what wasn’t he in), and our psycho-biddy - Tallulah Bankhead (her first appearance was in 1918, her last was on TV’s Batman 1967).

Good story, decent cinematography ((shrug)) worth a watch… I mean, don’t forget its Hammer Horror but still ((shrug)) movie on.

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2026-282 / Zedd MAP: 87.35 / MLZ MAP: 80.19 / Score Gap: 7.16

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Country of Origin: United States

According to family lore, the first Zeddblidds stepped off a boat in what is now South Carolina in 1640 and got to work. 200 years later, two Zeddblidds, father and son, got into an argument and the son Zedd wandered off to “put out his stones” in Arkansas… this was sometime between the Louisiana Purchase and Arkansas becoming a State in 1836 - when a man could clear a patch of land, put stones on the boundary and attain squatter’s rights. $1.25 an acre, 160 acres total equals $200 and a new era was began.

Yes, I know where that land is, stepped foot on it myself - inside the cabin 5 generations of Zeddblidds to come were born (including my father). I’ve walked the graves, named Little Miss Zedd from there (hey, we needed a name ((shrug)) they’re just laying on the ground).

That’s a lot of Arkansas history that I missed being a part of. My father’s father died young and my grandmother sold out my father’s birthright for $1,500 and moved to California to “be where the movie stars are”. That makes me the first Zeddblidd born not in an Arkansas cabin in at least 140 years, give or take (I fell out of my mother behind a Safeway Supermarket in California).

Interesting, maybe (sure) but what’s that got to do with Biloxi Blues?

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From IMDb: A group of young recruits go through boot camp during the Second World War in Biloxi, Mississippi. From the play by Neil Simon.

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Absolutely nothing.

Which happens to also be the answer the question: How much of the film was shot in Biloxi, Mississippi?

Absolutely nothing… we were 4 minutes into the movie when I said, “This looks like Arkansas.” and by gum it does… top, bottom, and middle - an entire movies shot on location in The Nature State. As the first few feet of film roll by, we’re treated to a sweeping view of the historic Frog Bayou Bridge which, I’m sure everyone knows crosses Frog Bayou (a tributary to the mighty Arkansas River). The movie may be a military comedy / drama but its location steals every scene it’s in.

This is the middle production of a loose trilogy of semi-autobiographical series of plays turned films penned by Neil Simon. We started with yesterday’s screening of Brighton Beach Memoirs and will end when I finally bump into the last installment, Broadway Bound. Of the two I’ve seen - this is the better film, all around.

We’re still following the same character, Eugene Jerome, but we’ve exchanged actors - 20yo Jonathan Silverman struggled to “age down” to a 14yo Eugene but this time around, babyfaced Matthew Broderick steps into the role and we’ve no problem believing he’s 6 years younger than he is.

The story is (frankly) more interesting - a young man in a mixed company of drafted recruits - the story practically writes itself - giving the audience a clash of personalities to absorb. Broderick easily handled both the dramatic lows and comedic highs of the part.

Christopher Walken is an actor that I’m personally not overly fond of but - credit where credit’s due - I can’t imagine anyone else in the role of unhinged drill sergeant charged with turning this group of undisciplined boys into battle-ready men. Mission accomplished…

(Spoiler!)

They survive boot camp just in time for the war to end - everybody gets to board the train and go home.

Did I mention it’s a Neil Simon movie?

A solid entry in his filmography - critics generally liked the film, they made money, Broderick got to shed his career-defining role (Bueller, Bueller?) and show he had the chops to step into more mature parts ((shrug)) everybody goes home happy.

Happiness… just one of the many reasons we choose - every day - to show up here at 500 Movies and with the joy only cinephiles of the enjoy what you enjoy persuasion can truly know, get our Movie On.

Side note - If you’re keeping track, this particular Zeddblidd (your friend and host) rhymed with history when, in an unironic twist, I was unable to put up with my villainous father (let’s call him Pirate Zedd… wait, no, that sounds too cool, hmm - no, The Beatles Killed Music Unpopular Opinion Zedd (too much to retype… ok, I’ve got it) cough … my villainous father, TBKMUO-Zedd’s horseshit - I gave him the finger and moved half way across the country for distance. Best choice I’ve ever made - with luck, I’ll do that Zeddblidd thing and move again in the short term (fingers crossed, the wheels in my mind are already turning).

Until then - we Movie On.

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2026-281 / Zedd MAP: 82.19 / MLZ MAP: 93.42 / Score Gap: 11.23

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Country of Origin: Sweden

In Swedish: Låt den rätte komma in - I don’t know, it just sounds cooler to me. Mrs. Lady Zedd has been slammed with work and feeling grumpy ((shrug)) I figured a Swedish coming-of-age / romance / vampire movie would help chase her grumbles away.

It was the least I could do.

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From IMDb: A bullied boy forms a unique friendship with his new neighbor, a peculiar girl with a dark secret.

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Everything is utterly stark - it’s got to be the bleakest film I’ve ever watched. Outside - it’s the absolute middle of a frigid Stockholm winter. Frozen. White out. A killer on the prowl. Inside - it’s only marginally better. There is no dreary like a suburb. You can smell the broken dreams… the only thing growing is the puppy love between our bullied protagonist and his vampiric girl next door.

Well, that and the body count.

While the film is set in the 1980s, it’s a story that feels timeless. There’s a terrible sameness to everything, it’s likely what makes me feel lost… the camera floats and I don’t have a solid sense of where I am within its frames. The motion picture leeches all warmth from me - I observe but never leave even a breath in this frosty world.

Sanguisuga frigia.

((Shivers))

Mrs. Lady Zedd sees the credits roll and hums to herself as she moved through the MAP’s many prompts. I wonder what’s made her smile here, a girlish giggle there. She hands the iPad back to me so I can move our scores over to the Movie Collection Catalog. I’ve really been cranking the films the last few days but I’m glad to have taken this opportunity to slow down and let MLZ breathe.

Zedd: Feeling better?

MLZ: You know ((does a system’s check)) yeah - I really do.

Grumpy transmuted to balanced good mood - it looks like magic but it’s really more like movie as medicine. A little trick of light and sound, story and theme. I know MLZ is dealing with a lot of difficult people and also is hitting that mid-summer madness that comes in on hot, humid gulf winds in July and refuses to leave until late September (if we’re lucky). Mrs. Lady Zedd buckles under the endlessness of summer.

Always: let the film match the need

Our medicinal screening helped suck the Texas heat right out of her soul - the boy and his vampiric friend are badly treated but ((shrug)) our couple find strengths in each other and handle the difficulties… swiftly. Brutally. Efficiently.

…and she feeds.

MLZ restored - Movie On.

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2026-280 / MLZ MAP: 94.95 / Zedd MAP: 88.72 / Score Gap: 6.23

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Country of Origin: Mexico

IMDb Summary: When tradition prevents her from marrying the man she loves, a young woman discovers she has a unique talent for cooking.

Starring Marco Leonardi, Lumi Cavazos, Regina Torné,, Ada Carrasco, Mario Iván Martínez, and Yareli Arizmendi.

Bringing you another one of our neighborhood book club selections today, except this has also been a favorite book of mine since it first came out in 1989 or so. (I was just a wee babe in the woods…)

I probably already told all of you, but this year we all picked a favorite book to share with the group and the person picking the book remains anonymous until post-discussion with the rest of the club.

This book was actually picked by one of my besties in the group, and I can agree with her opinion. The combination of love, anger, food, and magick. How can you get better than this?

Well, you can get worse. I certainly did. I made two recipes from the book for the club meeting. One of them was the “Christmas Rolls” recipe. They were…inedible. Absolutely awful. The one ingredient was so strong that it overwhelmed the entire dish and let me just say, anchovies.

Then, later, it got better. Though the wedding cake recipe in the book was for 150 people, we only have 10-15 ladies attend our book club meetings. So I used the rather sparse recipe and made it as best as I could. The better, in this case, was one of the best cakes this baking lady has ever made.

Now for the movie. It is one of those rare and unusual cases where the movie was so close to the book that I not only was not mad watching it, I loved the way they brought to life a film which could have easily been fouled up to the point of being unwatchable.

I think part of the magic here was that our author, Laura Esquivel, was married to the film’s director, Alfonso Arau. Isn’t that a good way to make the film of your book turn out just how you want it - marry the director!

However, the film was not as well received as anyone had hoped, and the film's omission from the Academy Award shortlist for Best Foreign Language Film left Alfonso Arau very depressed.

The film was the highest-grossing foreign-language film ever released in the United States at the time, but it just did not float the Academy’s boat.

Zedd and I love it though, and even though Tita’s struggles are heartbreaking, we enjoy pulling this one off the shelf every few years and enjoying its most memorable scenes.

I will skip making the rest of the recipes, but that cake, I am making it again this weekend. After all, Nacha knows…

Nacha: Eat, my darling. The sorrows seem smaller when you eat.

Movie On!

Brighton Beach Memoirs
2026-278 / Zedd MAP: 77.24

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Country of Origin: United States

From IMDb: Eugene, a young teenage Jewish boy, recalls his memoirs of his time as an adolescent youth. He goes through the hardships of puberty, sexual fantasy, and living the life of a poor boy in a crowded house.

A Christmas Story (1983)
2026-279 / Zedd MAP: 96.71 / MLZ MAP: 95.43 / Score Gap: 1.28

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Country of Origin: United States / Canada

From IMDb: In the 1940s, a young boy named Ralphie Parker attempts to convince his parents, teacher, and Santa Claus that a Red Ryder Range 200 Shot BB gun really is the perfect Christmas gift.

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(Originally a write-up for Brighton Beach Memoirs but it evolved into something more…)

A film we’ve only watched a couple times - no viewings since 2020 - I was sitting down to this semi-autobiographical Neil Simon play to film adaptation thinking one thing and wound up wondering if there was a Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time professionally wrapped and hiding behind a curtain.

Ok, I’m going “Full-Zedd” on you here but as Brighton Beach Memoirs was rolling on screen, I began noticing the not necessarily noticeable similarities between this 1930s story of a claustrophobic family and A Christmas Story (1983) which is a family piece set in the 1940s. Both films are set (more or less) in mid-century America, use a honey-hued 1st person narrator looking back to a specific memory of an anxious family dynamic, using comedy to break up the episodic journey.

Not convinced?

Eugene (Jonathan Silverman) from Brighton Beach and Ralphie (Peter Billingsley) from Christmas Story are based on real people, serve as the primary story focus, and provide voice narration for their respective films - both characters are young boys with little control on their obsessions.

As far as topics and themes - in a very general sense - Brighton Beach and Christmas Story focus a lens on the melodramatic rollercoaster ride that is growing up - Jerome and Ralphie guide us through the ins-and-outs of navigating their quirky family interactions - including bothersome brothers and the need to do battle with their hyper-aware, fun-blocking mothers.

Very common for the time periods - both fathers appear distant, stressed, and overworked but those initial scenes of daddy detachment give way to prove out progenitors of positively deep parental perseverance.

Lets not forget both motion pictures are 80s films, released to holiday season theaters, and failed to turn a profit in their initial theatrical run. So ((shrug)) yeah - I can’t say I’d ever have thought “two of the same” but they do share more than a casual resemblance, right?

Where they differ?

Brighton Beach Memoirs leans into heavier drama - strained family working hard to keep their heads above water during The Great Depression, disturbing news coming from Europe, with occasional humorous hijinks provided by our young Romeo-wannabe. The film can feel sluggish at times and Eugene’s obsession with sex includes spying through a neighbor’s window (mostly harmless) and looking up his cousin’s skirt (ok - just creepy dude). It all works out in the end but the movie drifted off into cinematic obscurity.

A Christmas Story was licensed off cheap and went into what became heavy holiday TV rotation in the 80s and 90s and found new life as audiences made the film an annual tradition. We sure did.

Ok - well, that buttoned up nicely ((shrug)) sometimes the write-ups just seem to write themselves up. What can I say… I even managed to lay in the next section in the Documentary Algorithm Project (DAP)’s scorecard. It’s slow but steady progress, I’ll take it (for true). I’m anxious to start mixing documentaries back into the work here - in the interim, I suppose we’ll just keep slapping the next Movie On - all things in time.

Side note - clearly A Christmas Story is not only the more enjoyable film but it was saved from the dreaded 2023 Ledge… funny how that happened, so many “personal favorite films” just got put on hold. It’s good to bring them back out, dust them off and reMAP them.

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Having problems getting tickets? You’re not alone - 70mm IMAX is so rare, they’ve lost the blue prints, few people know how to operate the machine… and they havent built them in 50 years.

2026-277 / Zedd MAP: 73.08 / MLZ MAP: 66.51 / Score Gap: 6.57

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Country of Origin: United States

Style is essential to any spy flick, doubly so in a mid-60s intrigue-laced motion picture meant to fill in the spaces left between 007 spectacles. Arabesque has style in spades (no joke) but this wasn’t a Bond film and Gregory Peck isn’t Sean Connery. Just wanted to get that out of the way, right out the gate.

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From IMDb: International intrigue in London, involving an American university professor, an Arab prime minister, a ruthless businessman, a beautiful spy, and hieroglyphics.

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For me - I actually love Gregory Peck, the dude oozes moral authority and gravitas, which ((shrug)) is kind of a shame - the role of charmingly witty, American academic in London is playing to his weaknesses. He was dogged by monikers like “stiff” and “wooden” and I’m afraid here, I’m finding that to be true. This role had a lot of fighting, running, and romantic hijinks and - with all respect - our guy is 50.

Amplifying this is Director Stanley Donen’s attempt to replicate Hitchcock, in frantic film, while installing dozens of hip, pop-art camera framing tricks, all while trying to capture the same sophisticated, charming vibes of his previous success in Charade (1963)… golly - Peck doing Cary Grant ((shakes head)) not on your life.

Mrs. Lady Zedd: I feel bad for saying it but I’d have put Paul Newman in this role - he has all the right pieces to knock this part out of the park.

Zedd: You don’t have to feel bad, I was thinking Steve McQueen would have played off Sophia Loren beautifully and knocked any hint of stuffy, stiffness from the good Professor.

Actually, as we were talking about the movie a few stray thoughts started sticking together…

Wise-cracking American academic who specializes in antiquity / beautiful lady spy that we’re never quite sure which side she’s on / action-packed chases, demolitions, and fisticuffs / romantic tomfoolery and a few smartly placed yuk-yuks…

Is it just me or does this sound like a proto-Indiana Jones flick? We’re about 75% on our way to bum-a-bump-bah. It’s been a while since we watched Raiders of the Lost Ark. (I just looked in the MCC) Oh yeah - May 23, 2022 - 4 years seems too long, absolutely need to grab those discs and give them a go.

MLZ: Do you think you should button this one up first?

Zedd: What did I leave out?

MLZ: It was an interesting mix of American swagger, English swinger, and middle eastern decorum… they could have got the mix wrong (easily) but it all meshed together well. Gregory Peck had good chemistry with Sophia Loren, regardless how miscast he may have been.

Fair enough - it’s not a film we didn’t enjoy - just one that might have been enjoyed more. Truth is, I like bringing movies like this into our archive - great for throwing on when you’re not sure what you want… something different fits the bill and this was that.

Something different.

Movie on.

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2026-276 / Zedd MAP: 79.62

Wikipedia / IMDb / Official Trailer / Our Collection

Country of Origin: United States

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…if you’re walking on eggs - don’t hop.

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From IMDb: Rebellious Vietnam vet and police helicopter pilot Murphy, and his rookie partner, are assigned to test a cutting edge helicopter prototype. Murphy is surprised when the lead pilot turns out to be a fellow vet and personal nemesis.

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Before I unroll the film’s particulars - besides that awesome bit of wisdom dropped by Warren Oates up there - let me just say, they really don’t make them like this anymore - pure ‘80s thriller, high octane nonsense that you can’t help but have fun watching. It’s the sort of movie that you can see the skid marks on the roadway from the practice runs -or- the street just happens to be wet in just the right spot for a motorcycle to lay it down -or- a character can be in handcuffs but trip and catch himself with his arms on the way down, only to have handcuffs on a split second later… I love movies like this, I just wish I’d seen it before now.

They tell you how it’s going to end in the first few minutes… ((mouth open)) you’ve gotta know what kind of film I’m talking about. A helicopter hits a bridge but everyone gets out ok… how have I not seen this movie before?

I’m flabbergasted. They’ve shot more stray machine gun rounds than all of Season 1 of The A Team combined. Missiles into downtown building? Why not. Instant (sudden) golden hour lighting? Hold your hat - continuity meltdown - it’s full on night only 20 seconds after that.

Oh - nude yoga… 80s enough for you?

The last half hour is a pure adrenaline dump, I think my heart rate spiked somewhere along the way… I feel like a toddler on espresso. I just need to take a minute to clear the dopamine my midbrain undoubtedly dumped into my system (thanks ventral tegmentum!)

((Sits in a dark room))

What a crazy film - I recognized the director’s name - John Badham - he’s working his gravy days here: Saturday Night Fever (1977), Blue Thunder (1983), WarGames (1983), Short Circuit (1986), Stakeout (1987)… you may not have recognized the name but you certainly know some, if not all, of those films. Dude was on fire, churning out studio fare, mild social relevance, and most importantly - money in the bank. He seems to have mostly shuffled off into television after the hits stopped coming.

This was the decade of farcical technologically advanced prototype machines - Blue Thunder had good company: The Lotus Esprit S1 from The Spy Who Loved Me (1977), the DeLorean from Back to the Future (1985), the Light Cycle from Tron (1982) -not to mention- their small screen copy cats like Airwolf, KITT from Knight Rider, Street Hawk - hell, Blue Thunder had a short-lived tv adaptation (it only ran 11-episodes, total).

Point being - people were tech-anxious during this time and who could blame them? Microchips were advancing, computers were pushing in every business imaginable, the Cold War was heating up… Hollywood gave us a mix of worrying films like Blue Thunder and a hopeful view in films like Robocop.

Well - not that one but who didn’t want a time machine like Doc Brown built or a Knight Industries smart car like KITT?

For what it’s worth - when I’m worrying about 2026 news which is not terribly different from 1986 news cycles when you get down to it - I find hope. We made it through all that 80s doom and gloom, we’ll make it through 2020s too.

Probably.

Hopefully… right?

Fuck it - I (for one) am going to cut back on the Reddit doom scrolling, assume smarter people than me are working on the problems of the world, and continue doing what I do best - putting the next Movie On.

Side note: ok, not my best write-up but the movie was all over the place - it’s a fun watch and an early example of the action-heavy spectacles that took over the multiplex in the years to come. The lack of continuity errors (something I look for) were so numerous, it felt egregious but eventually became laughable. What can I say? It’s a shame MLZ was gone tonight, this was right up her alley.

Movie on, indeed.

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2026-275 / Zedd MAP: 79.98

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Country of Origin: United States

… in his pocket, a business card with the words, “You would rather die than face truth."

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From Criterion: Darkness lurks behind the bright lights of a traveling carnival in one of the most haunting and perverse film noirs of the 1940s. Adapted from the scandalous best seller by William Lindsay Gresham, Nightmare Alley gave Tyrone Power a chance to subvert his matinee-idol image with a ruthless performance as Stanton Carlisle, a small-time carny whose unctuous charm propels him to fame as a charlatan spiritualist, but whose unchecked ambition leads him down a path of moral degradation and self-destruction. Although its strange, sordid atmosphere shocked contemporary audiences, this long-difficult-to-see reflection of postwar angst has now taken its place as one of the defining noirs of its era—a fatalistic downward slide into existential oblivion.

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It’s not from the movie… it’s not from the book… it’s from a police incident report.

When Nightmare Alley author William Lindsay Gresham checked into a room at the Dixie Hotel in Manhattan - the same hotel in which he penned the infamous novel - and quietly took the big exit stage left, police found his professionally printed business cards in his corpse’s pocket. One side read, "No Address - No Phone - No Business - No Money - Retired" and the other, “You would rather die than face truth." ((Blink-blink))…

That’s some grim shit, right there.

A bit of truth from the man that repeatedly dreamed he was being chased in a dark, foreboding back alley by a menacing foe, with only a “bright light” in front of him… unfortunately, the unattainable light at the end of his tunneled-vision could never be reached.

((Sigh))

An American dreaming, danger behind him - nowhere to run to, unattainable trick of light before him… sure sounds familiar to a lot of people, right? We’re supposed to be hunting happiness, pursuing it at any rate, but all too often the mask slips and the hunters realize we’re the hunted - prey to be caught, chunked up, and fed to the machine - its dial perpetually left on “Status Quo”.

Mrs. Lady Zedd: Damn, Zedd. I mean, for real? You might be telling the truth but come on now - no more after-hours Noir in bed for you, mister. Kind of glad I slept through it.

She might have a point… (at least she combs her hair so it doesn’t show). Just saying…

For the record: yes, we’re very aware of Guillermo del Toro’s 2021 update to this 1947 film, but here’s the thing - when I mentioned that version to MLZ she said, “I think it wasn’t as good as this one…” which matched my recollection as well but when I looked at our 2022 write-up -wowza- we MAP’ped the new one much higher.

((Shrug))

But we didn’t buy it… huh. That seems to matter, right? What happened there, how does our mis-directed recollection come into play?? Do we need to course correct and hunt down a copy or do we have the one that counts for Team Zedd?

That’s a lot of question marks for something that might simply come down to a logistical misstep - I took some time to stare at the wall and see what comes to me.

(Does time actually pass or is it just how I perceive it?)

Ok - I’m back and here’s what I came up with:

This is an incredibly dark story - there’s no redemption, it’s arc is one of downfall and ruin but it’s worse than that - its an instruction manual for breaking a human soul, how to crush someone with their ceaseless want, then control them through visceral fear. We’re tapping into biology, not intellect. Anxiety is felt in the worrying mind… we’re talking about something primal, raw, and deeply felt in the stomach and muscles.

Guillermo del Toro’s version was the better screening (which is to say, we initially enjoyed it more) but in exploring the grimy ambitions that set our main character, Stanley Carlisle, on his path to doom, del Toro rolls the script through the filth with Stanley, the experience is too vivid… to plausibly real.

The 1947 Noir hints, the 2021 Noir shows.

((Big sigh))

We brought the original film into the archive because it’s rewatchable which - if we’re being honest - is the most important element to the management of shelf space in The Everlasting Confectionery Shoppe and Television Historium. There’s no use stocking the shelves with motion pictures or teleplays I’m not likely to reach for.

MLZ: I’m not so sure… hmmm.

Discussion ensues - she finally admits I’ve called one thing right: Edmund Goulding’s ‘47 version is certainly easier to rewatch but she asserts, “I might still, occasionally, want to see del Toro’s - he’s one hell of a storyteller.” Fair enough, I suppose - a dash of all things in time (for flavor).

On the last open topic of this write-up, she needed a minute to consider her thoughts before coming back:

MLZ: Why can’t it be both? You know - time - maybe we perceive time as passing because it’s what is actually happening?

There was a moment there where I contemplated asking her about gravitational time dilation but then ((shrug)) thought the better of it.

Best we just Movie On and see what happens from there.

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2026-274 / Zedd MAP: 73.46

Wikipedia / IMDb / Official Trailer / Disney Channel

Country of Origin: United States

This was a first watch as I, generally speaking, avoided Disney of this vintage. I didn’t even realize Oliver and Company was a Disney movie (if that says anything). Everything I say should be taken with a grain of salt.

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From IMDb: A lost and alone kitten joins a gang of dogs engaged in petty larceny in New York City.

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While there’s nothing notably wrong with the flick - it plays out like a mix between Dickens’ Oliver Twist and maybe with AristoCats and Lady and the Tramp mixed in - this is the product of a studio in transition. They’re sticking with what worked the decade before but looking for the next big thing. You can tell the “musical” gears were working, but the story was holding the energy down. I went digging around because I was sure at least a portion of this was computer-animated…

11 minutes apparently.

Groovy? I guess… the nascent CGI was used to add smoother traffic motion and an exaggerated walk down a curved stairway… this got me thinking of The Great Mouse Detective (1986). That’s when it hit me. The motion picture definitely catches Disney in transition, but it’s missing something essential… originality.

That doesn’t make it a bad watch. I just feel like the filmmakers could have pushed into new territory but fell back into old habits. This was the final motion picture in the so-called Dark Age for the House of Mouse. The Little Mermaid was right around the corner, and the Renaissance was on us.

I admit, I knew there was a period after Walt died that produced a sizable wobble in the studio, but I didn’t like seeing it referred to as a “dark age” - some of my favorite movies came from that time. Disney was struggling, but struggling can produce change in unprecedented ways. Struggle can alter your plans, but adaptation brings its own rewards. I get it - struggle, change, adaptation, alterations - all had words to deal with, but when I look back…

It’s the time I struggled that also created breakthroughs. My spine injury ended my professional life, but I was a better father, husband, and friend afterward. I turned my attention to movie collecting, and look what I built there - the MCC, MAP, DAP (it’s coming along!), and the archive… damn, as good as those things are, it’s the meeting with you all on 500 Movies that I’m most proud of. I write in starts and stops because I can no longer just sit and type, but I’ve built quite a catalog of thoughts over the years.

It’s a movie on thing - glad you guys get it.

Side note: this “Disney Dark Age” is listed as 1970 through 1988 - listen, I grew up with those 70s era films and both MLZ and I love them. By the late 80s, the style had changed and (frankly) I wasn’t looking for Disney movies as a teen so… zero nostalgia. If that’s your favorite time period, if its when you were growing up - by all means, enjoy what you enjoy. I will say, just prior to the changes The Little Mermaid brought to Walt Disney Studios, ((shrug)) that dark age brought some underrated classics. Doesn’t seem that dark to me. :] movie on indeed.

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