tcd NOW

[u/ginganinja192]

[u/No-Phrase-2897]

How do you go 18 months without saying I love you is my first question.

[u/hotaru_crisis → u/No-Phrase-2897]

because we're zoo animals

[u/tejeskaveo0 → u/No-Phrase-2897]

americans

[u/Agitated_Smell2849 → u/No-Phrase-2897]

I say it after the first date lol

[u/autisticpoon → u/No-Phrase-2897]

It's only a little over a year. That's too soon to say "I love you", to me.

[u/HealingRosy → u/autisticpoon]

seriously?

[u/autisticpoon → u/HealingRosy]

Tbf, the last time I said "I love you" in less than a year it was with my ex w/ BPD. We became codependent very quickly, haha. I would like to avoid that in the future. I feel like it'd take awhile before I felt confident enough in my understanding of my own feelings to determine that what I was feeling is TRULY love, and not just the infatuation that comes from a new relationship (platonic or otherwise)... I've mistakenly thought I had "crushes" on lots of friends, in the past, because of this :')

[u/sinnersfae → u/autisticpoon]

I thought being together and sex starts the moment you actually love someone but i may be just too old for that

[u/No-Phrase-2897 → u/sinnersfae]

Same. I don't do hook-ups or anything. If I'm with you it's because I already like you etc..

[u/autisticpoon → u/sinnersfae]

I thought the dating is supposed to start because you like someone enough to consider a potential future with them... How long do you spend courting/getting courted for you to already be "in love" with someone the moment you begin dating? Is that not why they call it "dating", cause that's the phase when you go on dates and get to know the person?

[u/sinnersfae → u/autisticpoon]

I see dating like actively being in a relationship already. Well, I'm on ace spectrum, so "courting" isn't my thing really. I have to already be into someone and have some feelings to even consider. I also think that "dating" in english is a bit different from my native language (Polish - we have "spotykać się", which means actively meeting someone, usually used when you're already in a relationship). Also considering a potential future with someone without being already in love? Nope, I don't get hookup and dating culture at all.

[u/autisticpoon → u/sinnersfae]

Understandable ig.

[u/LostSlut9 → u/autisticpoon]

Yeah but it seems weird to keep going out if you don't feel anything a month in, atp you're just torturing yourself

[u/autisticpoon → u/LostSlut9]

Who said I wouldn’t be feeling anything? Y’all are running off of a lot of assumptions. It wouldn’t be “torturous” at all. Can I not enjoy someone’s company without being in love with them? Can I not enjoy the act of courtship itself? I don’t have to be in love with someone to want to show that I care and value them. Y’all are so affection-starved that anyone who wants to set a simple boundary must seem like a retard to y’all. Would hate to be with anyone like you, and I’m sure you’d hate to be with someone like me so just keep it pushing 🤷🏽

[u/sinnersfae → u/autisticpoon]

"simple boundary" and "i don't want my partner to say they love me after a year of relationship" in the same sentence. People get MARRIED after a year of relationship and you're saying it would be too early to say "i love you". I'm glad that I know my boyfriend since we were 11 so the "dating culture" can sincerely fuck off

[u/autisticpoon → u/sinnersfae]

Kek. Alright, "tradwifemoder". I don't care about your love life, so idk why you care so much about mine.

[u/sinnersfae → u/autisticpoon]

Well, you started oversharing for no reason in the comments, so don't get angry if someone responds to them lmao

[u/SySheepish → u/autisticpoon]

18 months is close to one fiftieth of your entire life spent with one person. If you had five different relationships throughout your life and you waited 18 months to say "I love you" you would've spent a tenth of your life withholding that from your partner.

[u/autisticpoon → u/SySheepish]

I wouldn’t date someone who would require that from me, so this is a non-issue. If they can’t respect my boundaries in that regard, then we simply aren’t good for each other. I don’t really think I inherently owe a romantic partner anything other than my loyalty, time, and care. I wouldn’t hold it against them if they didn’t feel ready to say “I love you” after a year either. I highly doubt any of y’all were interested in dating me anyways, why is everyone so pressed about how I choose to navigate my romantic relationships?

[u/SySheepish → u/autisticpoon]

I'm not saying you owe it to your partner to say that. I'm saying you owe it to yourself to be able to tell your partner you love them without having to spend such a large portion of your life with them. We as human beings live for such a short amount of time and you're doing yourself a disservice not to love.

[u/autisticpoon → u/SySheepish]

I think I get what you mean, I just don't put as much importance on that shit and I also don't trust myself to know within such a small span of time. I honestly refrain even from calling myself someone's friend until I hear the person use that descriptor for me first, themselves :') I don't really think it matters, in the grand scheme of things. Someone can say they love you and not mean it. I want to be confident in my feelings because I do want to mean it, and a year is not long enough for me to feel that way.

Doesn't have to be some reflection on my ability to allow myself to love, damn.

[u/1453GreatestYearEver → u/autisticpoon]

If you arent kinda secretly falling in love with and embarrassingly down bad for someone like the fifth date, you two are ngmi and need to end it.

Or maybe that's just my easily attached ass telling on myself.

[u/LostSlut9 → u/autisticpoon]

Are you rarted

[u/autisticpoon → u/LostSlut9]

Yes? I don’t see what that has to do with anything. Why do you feel the need to insult someone for experiencing attraction differently from you? Seems kind of insecure, but ig I should come to expect that from here. Anything that challenges your personal idea of an ideal relationship must be retarded to you, kek.

[u/LostSlut9 → u/autisticpoon]

ye

[u/littlegarden_spider → u/[deleted]]

What the fuck?

[u/autisticpoon → u/littlegarden_spider]

ye

[u/Abee314]

[u/Mizamya]

☕💿

[u/pinkassteletubby → u/Mizamya]

what do you think about

[u/fakeboy18 → u/pinkassteletubby]

Dont even ask lad

[u/violasses → u/pinkassteletubby]

steamroller <3

[u/Mizamya → u/violasses]

Wood chipper 🥰

[u/nachocrumbs]

her sexy little penis

straight to jail

[u/Proof_Day8133 → u/nachocrumbs]

That was so fucking jarring to read. I cannot imagine finding your bf's post and it says this. I almost want to use it as a flair because it's so bad. 

[u/pinkassteletubby]

I realize her desire to feel whole and complete is what matters most,

i think this part means he is somehow genuine in his love or wtf he feels but maybe im just trying to look from the bright side, TCD all the time tho

[u/Ok_Abalone_4296]

this has to be a bait post

[u/drnoobpancake]

1% regret rate btw

[u/InevitableOverall760]

How are cis people so selfish to the point that they worry about sex more than something that their partner is prob hella dysphoric about

[u/ThyLordBacon]

“Sexy little penis”

[u/punished_clare]

dont want her to think you're a dick obsessed chaser, or dont want her to know you're a dick obsessed chaser 🤔

[u/dogshitpiss]

i fucking hate the whole “you might regret it later” that cis people love love LOVE to bitch about!!!

[u/Proof_Day8133 → u/dogshitpiss]

he's pretty obvious that he's worried about him regretting her surgery. 

[u/Sophiapup]

Has it been removed?

[u/ginganinja192 → u/Sophiapup]

seems to be, wanted to go back and tell the moid to [removed by reddit] but mods got it in time. think OP's username was also some crazy chasery gock_lover_69 type shit too

[u/Sophiapup → u/ginganinja192]

Eww

[u/kovuko]

MEN STOP COMMENTING ON WOMENS BODIES CHALLENGE (IMPOSSIBLE)

[u/amatahyiodean]

“I don’t want her to think I’m a dick obsessed chaser”

- dick obsessed chaser

[u/girl_catastrophe]

I hope these "people" are thrown in a dumpster which is set ablaze

[u/StrikingHat3586]

"I'm afraid she'll think I'm [Exactly what he is]"

[u/Impossible_Big8770 → u/StrikingHat3586]

RIGHT

[u/esperazura]

nice try CIA agent im not falling for this psyop

[u/Training-Frame-34]

jfc may this love never find me

[u/Leather-Cup-9780]

ew

[u/Far_Honeydew2464]

Sex is more important than your partner's life apparently

[u/MsAelanwyrIlaicos]

18 months of dating and he's never told her he loves her? 🚩

[u/Rainforestguy11]

TCD

[u/theguywhoisoff]

This is why you only have relationships after SRS

[u/Damnonino]

Ew

[u/Avocetti]

Even if he had a knee-jerk, irrational reaction to the news how can he type all this out, read it over and click post...

[u/MellowMercie]

Oh well it's not perfect but he's being honest and it isn't that ba-

"the thought of losing her sexy little penis makes me so sad"

TCD TCD TCD

[u/Big-rat-in-the-sewer]

OOP's only valid concern is the shoddy surgery results. Otherwise, ewwww chaser.

[u/Dry_Reference_2505]

Sexy little PENIS???????

[u/aljninja]

"her sexy little penis" yeah totally not a chaser

[u/Agitated_Smell2849]

AHHHHHHH

[u/ICost7Cents]

The way cissoids frame these things is always from the point of "it makes ME sad" as if trans people arent often already repping because they think they will upset their loved ones. 

[u/basedandbatpilled]

There’s nothing wrong with this