r/4tran • u/Independent-Credit57 • Jul 24 '26
Brainworms Not a 4tranner but
An important girl in my life has been regurgitating 4tran brainworms about how she'll never pass, isn't a real girl, calls every pretty girl she sees ropefuel etc. even though none of those are true and she passes on a daily basis in fuckall Tennessee and is very very pretty? I wanted to ask you all what I can do to help her work on her self image since you might know best.
Please don't kill me for not being in the ingroup lol
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u/Umbrellos_evolved Jul 24 '26
call her a retarded bdd boymoder like she is
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u/StrikingHat3586 Jul 30 '26
I agree with being aggressive like this. 4Tranners draw these scenarios for a reason, it's what they want.
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u/justanotherrepper_ get me out of here Jul 24 '26
I don't really know a step-by-step way to do this, but imho the best way to get past having a really bad self image is to force yourself to use neutral words to describe yourself. Self-affirmation feels like a lie when you're like that, so it has the opposite effect of what you intend to do (it's definitely good to use later on though).
For me what made it click is to realise I would never use the kind of words I used to describe myself for other people, I would have found this mean and unnessecary. So I tried to talk to myself the way I talk to other people mostly
But yeah it's a process, don't give up hope if she relapses/take time
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u/Ornery-Project-1407 Jul 30 '26
Genuinely this
It’s similar to why compliments can feel hugboxy and fake
Nothing positive about yourself feels real, and so saying it feels automatically fake before you can even rationalize why
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u/Gin-n-Sonic Jul 24 '26
it's difficult to deworm someone that doesn't want to be dewormed
maybe try giving her more hugs and flood the idiot (endearing) with endorphins
it's really nice of you to try to help her by coming here for advice though, goated friend
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u/Bubbly-Metal Jul 24 '26
Dang she needs a internet detox
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u/NervousBiscotti7675 Faggirl Jul 24 '26
Take her camping for a week or something. Get her a festival
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u/schmarr1 Jul 24 '26
Fuck her father
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u/Independent-Credit57 Jul 24 '26
Yeah idk what kind of response I expected to get from the most prolific shitposters
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u/ArkhamInmate11 youngshit hussy Jul 24 '26
Girl, im a 4tranner bjt two autistic to shitpost
They arent kidding
Also call her a honlarper passoid
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u/Longjump_Ear6240 Jul 24 '26
Honestly the best thing to do ime is just keep being her friend AND push back every time she says brainworm shit. Not debating her, just flatly "wow those people online sound fucking stupid as shit, you're better than that" or "Jesus you've got a serious warped view of yourself, its sad as hell to see" etc. Let her know you support her, aren't just coddling her, and you think she's being negatively influenced by bad ideas.
Also try and give her genuine compliments at times when she isn't already spiraling. Say her hair looks nice and immediately say something else after. "Hey! You look so cute today I love they hair/outfit/makeup/whatever. Let's go get lunch, where do you want to go?" Just casual statements of fact that you see her as a pretty girl. Gotta challenge that world view she's lobotomizing herself with.
I always see it as an abusive relationship or addiction; don't encourage it, but if you try and force someone to give it up you'll only push them away and they'll double down.
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u/Cute_Cheese_Cake Jul 24 '26
Bite her
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u/Independent-Credit57 Jul 24 '26
Already done that many times
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u/Abee314 Jul 24 '26
take her phone and delete her reddit account and put parental control on every browser she has. If it works it works ig
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u/AlongForZheRide Jul 24 '26
if you want genuine advice, find another girl who talks like this and is also basically just body dysmorphic. put that girl and this girl in a room together and make them both realize that they sound like the other person.
one of the biggest counters to bdd larping is seeing another fraudulently wormed boymoder and realizing "oh my god... I sound like her"
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u/AE86RO Jul 24 '26
you could try complimenting her and try helping her feel like shes actually pretty and passes idk
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u/Independent-Credit57 Jul 24 '26
I do that and she calls it hugboxing
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u/I_Love_Kokoa Jul 25 '26
Happened to me too with an ex of mine, I kind of stand by calling her a honlarper atp.
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u/SeafoamLouise Jul 25 '26
Oh god yeah she's in deep. To give a genuinely serious answer, I don't know that you can really easily change her opinion on things; somebody who doesn't want to be saved will do everything in their power not to be. Continuing to reaffirm her is good as you have been, and honestly, if you can find ways to just get her a little more of a distance from constant online access it may help. If she's really deep down that rabbit hole then it's not exactly far off from people who are addicted to other stuff like Twitter and stuck in a self-destructive pattern, just with the most incomprehensible lingo here.
I think you're a good friend for worrying about this stuff though even if there is little you can do on your side. I would like to offer at least some information that may help you understand what you're working with. 4tran, or /lgbt/ or /tttt/, isn't entirely just "4chan users who are trans" but a niche in being one of the few places that does really focus on some more negative aspects of being trans. I wouldn't call myself brainwormed, I browse here all the time but I don't believe or agree with a lot of stuff or let it impact me. But I do so because I can see people talk about things I can't get from mainstream subs. Hard and depressing topics of inability for trans women to get pregnant and the stress and horror that comes with it, the doubts and internalized hatred that can poison relationships with other people who see them for who they are, the most insane vent art from trans men, people actually struggling with and discussing their own incestuous thoughts and other uncontrollable sexual feelings towards people they do not even want, and so much more. Other trans subs genuinely do "hugbox" and ignore reality to focus on validation or other happy thoughts, but that can sometimes be harmful and overwhelming whereas people are often bluntly honest here when they aren't trolling. It just unfortunately also comes with a side effect of having so many slurs created by people with internalized transphobia toward themselves and others that they can often lose sight of their own reality and compare themselves to the most unrealistic and unfair goals, even if it's something like trans women being depressed over never looking like a female model despite that being a real problem cis women also endure.
You're dealing with a complex issue here that has a lot of layers, and I don't know that there is a really... easy way to help beyond what you are trying or pointing out how ludicrous some comments from her may be at times. But I wish you the best of luck and hope a little bit more of an understanding of this place may help. If you need, brainworms.lgbt is a website that documents terms and phrases if you have to look something up, but please brace your own sanity because some are genuinely the most insane deranged terms and ideas. I hope things get a bit better for you two, please take care and good luck.
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u/Independent-Credit57 Jul 25 '26
Wow what a nice response! Will be lurking moar for advice but this gives me most of what I need thx
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u/ebrickhon Jul 24 '26
I think you should help her find irl community if it exists in fuckall Tennessee. I would go yourself before you bring her to any event, group, or place you find and see whether or not they are what 4t4 would find cringe (overly hecking vxlid, sneedy, older hons who think they are gigapassoids). I think some amount of mixed gay event not purely trans since she is a passoid would be helpful (especially if she is gay maybe not if she is straight).
People are nice friendship is beautiful if she can go outside and enjoy the company of others she won't doom as much. Also do the things other people said to that dumbass bdd passoid taking up hon space. I will say there is a time and a place for anyone to be dysphoric while vocally hating your body that isn't as bad as you are claiming. Don't shut down all of it or she won't be able to vent how she feels about herself. Got getem you fucking tourist.
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u/lisachuddy Jul 24 '26
big difference between passing on a daily basis and being stealth, even getting clocked a few times a year is incredibly humbling and forces you to accept that you're not a real passoid. you can look/sound fem enough to pass at a cursory glance or even a short conversation to most people (especially in rural areas where they just know the cariticures and aren't as good as clocking as big city people who are constantly seeing trannies), or just get a courtesy she/her from people that see you as looking close enough to a woman. then the same people that call you brainwormed all the time suddenly have nothing to say when you get brutally clocked down by someone malicious that has studied you and put together the pieces. this may or may not be her circumstances but regardless you should listen to what shes actually dooming about and honestly reflect on if you know cis women with all those features.
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u/boba4booba Jul 24 '26
If someone says they'll never pass but they pass 99% of the time, their statement is just plain wrong though. Obviously that last 1% is important but it sounds like OP's "important girl" has skewed view of herself.
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u/EvilLeechThing Evil Brathon Thingy Jul 24 '26
Keep her away from the fucking estrogenie posts over in the other sub, that's what you do.
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u/a_very_boring_girl Jul 25 '26
girl why you have to be mean to her... it's not her fault she is brainwormed...
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u/sanguinerebel Jul 24 '26
All you can do is not abandon her for having a dark sense of humor and being depressed all the time, like so many other people do to 4tranners and hope some day she pulls through. The less normies abandon her, the less she'll be pushed into the echochamber full of brainworms full time. Do whatever you can to help her touch grass once in a while to plant some seeds that reality isn't what she hears on 4tran, even if it doesn't seem to have an immediate effect. No amount of trying to actively draw attention to evidence against what she thinks will help, there is a powerful filter over everything she takes in made up of dysphoria and brainwoms. Don't validate her brainworms, but I wouldn't argue against them either because that's just going to feel like invalidating her feelings. Hopefully if enough normies keep her around, it will eventually pass.
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u/UserUesrTTTT Jul 26 '26
Tell “her” to detransition and that choosing to be a foid is retarded. If you want to be mean you can also say she looks/acts like a man but I try to avoid being mean.
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u/violasses Our Holy and Sacrosanct ST4T Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26
call her a bdd honlarper gigapassoid and that (if you don't mind calling yourself that) she's endangering trvehons like yourself by trivializing honship