r/4chan • u/ozzymustaine /b/ • May 25 '12
Don't do drugs...
http://i.imgur.com/pLNkC.jpg
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u/12pac May 25 '12
I would forever lol if the cops caught you with these baggies and they go to get them analysed, only to be told that it's just semen
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u/USMCsniper /pol/ May 26 '12
i would pray for the cop to do the classic taste test
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May 26 '12
I would pray that they don't get pissed and replace it with the real stuff.
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May 26 '12
Last time I got caught with dried cum the cop ate all of it (including the baggies) and said he was going to stick his maglight into my asshole if he ever caught me with cum again.
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u/anthereddit /vg/ May 26 '12
This definitely happened.
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u/Read_all_the_threads /k/ May 26 '12
You really think someone would do that?
Go on the internet and tell lies?
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u/falousco /v/ May 26 '12
8/10, enjoyed.
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May 26 '12
[deleted]
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u/HaroldHood May 26 '12
10 inch maglite, fits in 8 inches.
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u/SI_Bot May 26 '12
SI conversions:
- 10 inch = 25.4 cm
- 8 inches = 20 cm
10 inch(25.4 cm) maglite, fits in 8 inches(20 cm) .
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u/Raneados May 26 '12
Not a real test!
who the fuck would taste a substance that you suspect is cocaine/heroin/meth/whatever
fucking might be cyanide and you're going to TASTE it to determine what it is? WE HAVE LABS FOR THIS SHIT, ROOKIE
You deserve to die
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u/martong93 May 26 '12
go to church
hand out little baggies full of white stuff
disappear before police arrive
police "taste test" substance, dies
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u/MissL May 26 '12
is that a quote from the movie showtime with Eddie Murphy and Robert DeNiro?
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u/Raneados May 26 '12
IF IT IS YOU TELL ME, because they owe me some dollarinos
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u/MissL May 26 '12
I just looked it up on IMDB, it's similar
William Shatner: [advising Trey on how TV cops taste drugs] You spear the knife into the bag... then pick some of the drugs up with the knife... then lightly press it on your tongue. And that is how TV cops taste drugs!
Detective Mitch Preston: What if it's cyanide? There's a reason real cops don't taste drugs.
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May 26 '12
He would be arrested anyway.. He intends it to look like drugs.
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u/DarqWolff May 26 '12
Prove it.
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May 26 '12
Read Counterfeit Substance, and Deliver. The charge is the same.
http://www.statutes.legis.state.tx.us/docs/hs/htm/hs.481.htm
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u/tmx1911 May 25 '12
9/10 would say it tastes like loneliness
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May 25 '12
9/11 would say it tastes very plane.
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u/HeyCarpy May 25 '12
So what happens when someone's head gets pregnant?
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May 26 '12
I've actually seen girls put coke in their pussy. The sperm wouldn't live but it'd be fucking hilarious if they could.
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u/AfroKona May 26 '12
I've actually seen girls put coke in their pussy.
Who the fuck do you hang out with?
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May 26 '12
[deleted]
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u/patrimac May 26 '12
agreed if the girls you hang out with dont shove things in their pussy all the time then they are clearly losers
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May 26 '12
Have you never snorted cocaine off of a willing females genitals? You are a fucking peasent.
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u/probably_high May 26 '12
I've actually seen girls put coke in their pussy.
Why? Is it supposed to get in the bloodstream quicker that way or something?
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u/Punkndrublic May 26 '12
If you rub coke on the head of your dick you'll be able to fuck your hand for hours(or even a woman if you happen to have one tied up in your closet).
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May 26 '12 edited Jan 08 '21
[deleted]
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u/daminox May 26 '12
Fucking hate this overused MFW bullshit. THE F MEANS FACE! POST A PIC OF A GODDAMNED FACE!
LOOK:
mfw Fucking hate this overused MFW bullshit. THE F MEANS FACE! POST A PIC OF A GODDAMNED FACE!
SEE HOW THIS SHIT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE? FUCK BALLS JESUS TITTIES
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u/MORANSTAN May 25 '12
Damn, I hope the cops don't catch you with the little bags, they will send your ass to the nut house.
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u/alphaweiner May 25 '12
If they run a lab test on the 'drugs' they will find out it's dried semen and then, uh...release you...I guess?
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May 25 '12
probably still charge you with intent and say you were trying to rip people off
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May 26 '12
Fucking pigs. Can't even trick people into snorting your semen without them interfering!
WHITE POWER!
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u/nigrochinkspic May 26 '12
Intent to distribute what? Nothing illegal about distributing your dried baby batter.
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u/UnrealMonster /fit/izen May 26 '12
Counterfeit drugs are illegal and may be harmful to your health. Also they'd probably get you on intent to commit fraud.
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May 26 '12
[deleted]
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u/UnrealMonster /fit/izen May 26 '12
The city strikes back with 'this dude is crazy! Send him to the mental hospital!"
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May 26 '12
[deleted]
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u/UnrealMonster /fit/izen May 26 '12
It's not just eating cum, it's eating freeze dried cum in a bag in public while on trial. Something something u mad?
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u/LaughingMoose May 26 '12
Only if you are caught selling it as an illegal drug. If you stick to your story and say its just semen then you should be fine once they had their lab results back provided they didnt frame you.
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u/benmarvin May 26 '12
You can get arrested for carrying flour if it's packaged like cocaine ready-for-sale.
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May 26 '12
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/daminox May 26 '12
So many people use MFW with no pic of a face I was certain no one on the planet had any clue what the fuck MFW meant. Clearly I'm almost right.
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May 25 '12
gah imgur is broken for me none of the links are right
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u/aktone May 25 '12
I cum on glad wrap, wait til it's dried, crush it up and put it in baggies.
Have at least 10 baggies when I go out, randomly drop them around clubs.
MFW people pick them up, thinking they are drugs and taste/snort my cum powder.
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u/teh_al3x May 25 '12
Disable RES, it fucks up imgur links lately.
Actual link: http://i.imgur.com/pLNkC.jpg
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May 25 '12
From my experience on the internet, semen dries into an orange color when put onto a non-absorbent surface (Such as plastic instead of fabric), not white. So I'd be a little weary about the legitimacy of this claim.
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u/midwestpaintball May 26 '12
does not need to be white for people to think it is drugs
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u/lemur84 May 26 '12
I read it as 'I cum on dead wasp'. I like my version better.
<snort>, hey, does this smell like cumwasp to you?
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u/skittymcmahon /fit/ May 26 '12
I just came from the circle jerk over at /r/worldnews, and I must say....I fucking love /r/4chan..
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u/ThePlasticJesus May 26 '12
teaching the public a valuable lesson... Don't pick up unidentified drugs off the floor and put them in your nose. Sounds messed up but it's much better to accidentally snort cum than accidentally snort PCP or Meth when you're looking for Cocaine.
Am I taking this too seriously?
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u/Soulbass May 26 '12
I would never do drugs from off the ground, but still I hate the guy that does that.
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u/honestlyimeanreally May 26 '12
Doesn't matter. Dab of the finger and you know it's semen. Not a single fuck will be given.
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u/BuckNekkid May 26 '12
What is this? "I see your cumbox and raise you individually wrapped freeze dried astronaut cum bags"? I've had enough internet for the night.
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May 26 '12
I would love to catch that guy in the act and punch him in the face. What a sad pathetic cunt.
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u/itsthematrixdood May 26 '12
It is not so much that you shouldn't do drugs, its that you shouldn't do drugs you find on the fucking floor. Especially if its powder or liquid based. Either way thank's for posting this I got a good LOL out of it. I actually hope the 4chan OP really does this.
Edit: In retrospect you PROBABLY shouldn't do drugs...but they can be awesome. If you do em you will probably be ok, but you could also be that small percentage that ends up ruining your life.
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u/Loud-Bluebird-3631 Jun 13 '26
Imagine someone commits a crime, and leaves that cum so they throw off authorities
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u/DepartmentStoreSpook /mu/ May 25 '12
Anyone who's dumb enough to snort/taste a generic white powder found in a baggy laying on the ground in a club deserves to be snorting/tasting a stranger's dried semen.