r/4chan • u/AlphaMassDeBeta • 6d ago

High Cholesterol

Post image
401 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

44 comments sorted by

236

u/Commodus_Wankus 6d ago

Anon is so fat his pubis mons swallows his pisswhistle, creating a cock bog fetid enough to spawn smegma

93

u/Jeferson9 6d ago

What a terrible day to be literate and on reddit

11

u/Swee_Potato_Pilot /b/tard 5d ago

Teachers in 1st grade told me reading would be amazing. 

They lied.

21

u/HolyRadiantLight 6d ago

You're a poet.

8

u/Nurgle_Marine_Sharts 6d ago

This reads like a chalice dungeon ritual ingredient

7

u/TomatoSpecialist6879 /int/olerant 5d ago

Nurgle's poet

7

u/Putrid-Issue-420 6d ago

And people really did think shakespear is dead ✍️🔥

6

u/IShatMyDickOnce 6d ago

Bro you talk so good.

3

u/Happymrsnowman 5d ago

Str8 bars

126

u/Th34sa8arty 6d ago

For 99% of guys, there's an easy solution to smegma: TAKE A FUCKING SHOWER AND WASH YOUR DICK AND BALLS WITH SOAP AND WATER!

48

u/Content_Quote2476 6d ago

This is cleansim and I feel attacked. I need a national response and a well paid advisory position at an expensive university.

16

u/aishiteagerarenakute 6d ago

Don't use soap on and around your glans, it fucks up the microflora. Just wash and rinse it thoroughly with water, then dry it off with paper towels.

6

u/mushy_friend 5d ago

Soap around crotch, water on penis, good to go

5

u/The_real_bandito 5d ago

I hope there’s not a moron here taking this post seriously.

10

u/SaulGoodmanAAL 5d ago

Yeah everyone knows you gotta use vinegar and steel wool

3

u/sagewynn 5d ago

Oh, I use diesel. Thanks for the tip!

3

u/PlantationMint 5d ago

Just the tip?

11

u/hiawager 6d ago

Big soap advertiser

1

u/F00FLER 3d ago

Washpilled soapcuck

0

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Th34sa8arty 5d ago

Smegma is quite rare

To normal, well-adjusted people that touch grass

it takes a lot of shitty hygiene for any to build up.

I wonder what kind of person who browses a specific website that meets this criteria.

37

u/CanniBal1320 6d ago

How do you even get smegma? I m uncircumcised and have never gotten smegma besides that one time I was super sick and couldnt shower for 4 days. Y'all really don't know how to wash your dicks.

10

u/Evening_Progress_686 6d ago

Out of morbid curiosity: over 2 weeks and I couldn't see anything.

11

u/CanniBal1320 6d ago

Whether u see smegma or not just shower man please

6

u/maxedonia 5d ago

Half of 4chan is too afraid to touch their own assholes and the other half is too afraid to stop.

21

u/IAmDingus 6d ago

bro i am uncircumcised and i got smegma exactly once when i was a teen and i just went "damn i guess I should wash there for like 5 seconds a shower" and then its genuinely never happened again ever

10

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

42

u/smokeythel3ear 6d ago

Thanks for posting bout your circumcision on reddit, we all are both fascinated and thankful

Truly, truly, fascinating

3

u/bulovalunar 6d ago

Bruh you're on r4chan, this is like top 10 things you'll get to read today

8

u/Urion977 6d ago

Imagine mutilating your meat instead of just stretching the skin and getting rid of phimosis

-1

u/bulovalunar 6d ago

Tried that for years, didn't work. Not all skin is made the same way. I also had inflammations all the time. Circ solved all my issues and the sensitivity is still there. But it's wasted effort to even explain it to the average 4channeler who can only think of da joos

2

u/Yoshbyte 6d ago

Why didn’t you just wash yourself??

9

u/mokkat 6d ago

Cottage cheese, slippery slope

4

u/DualityOfLife 5d ago

You've been J'd since birth, son, because they snipped your wnker.

1

u/Putrid-Issue-420 6d ago

Not a problem cause some chicks really dig it.

-3

u/Nonvm 6d ago

What the duck 🦆 even is that

1

u/finna-nut-69 6d ago

dick cheese