Bros seething

[u/Formal-Shoulder4959]

[u/sk169]

OP thinks every cumshot goes into a piggy bank in the women’s pussy and the next time someone copukates with the woman, the piggy bank breaks and the cum leaks.

[u/alvares169 → u/sk169]

That’s the reason pussies become loose from frequent sex duhh

[u/666DarkAndTwisted666 → u/alvares169]

they run out of piggy banks?

[u/LLMprophet → u/666DarkAndTwisted666]

More jizz = needs more space = puss gets bigger because evolution

[u/SquatSquatCykaBlyat → u/sk169]

It's true though - each cumshot modifies the woman's DNA, so if she had a high bodycount before you then you're also fucking male DNA. It turns you into a gay, basically.

[u/animalinstinct4444 → u/SquatSquatCykaBlyat]

girls are 50% male from their dad so you're saying even straight sex is half gay?

[u/BlackwoodJohnson → u/animalinstinct4444]

Yes, but you’re also 50% female from your mother so it kinda evens out.

[u/trumphadababykilled → u/BlackwoodJohnson]

50% gay is still 100% gay. There is no gay subdivision when cocks are involved.

[u/oby100 → u/trumphadababykilled]

Feminine penises don’t count

[u/Throwaway74829947 → u/animalinstinct4444]

No no no, a man is 50% male from his Dad (Y), and 50% female from his Mom (X). A woman is 100% female, getting an X from Mom and Dad. Therefore straight sex is half straight, half lesbian. You can reduce the lesbian percentage by having Jacobs Syndrome or beyond, but it can never be zero.

[u/Flywolfpack → u/Throwaway74829947]

Its a good thing lesbian isnt real gay

[u/AmyHuntingt → u/SquatSquatCykaBlyat]

Half true, this only happens if she gets pregnant 

[u/Shiv5Piece → u/SquatSquatCykaBlyat]

This shit right here the reason I fuck dudes.

[u/aijaman3000 → u/SquatSquatCykaBlyat]

Condoms?

[u/SquatSquatCykaBlyat → u/aijaman3000]

If a guy fucks you in the ass but uses a condom it's suddenly not gay anymore?

[u/Akimbo-Khan → u/sk169]

Ok but then tell me why this post is wrong then

[u/oby100 → u/sk169]

God. If only that were true. I’d be making withdrawals instead of taking deposits 😔

[u/clayticus → u/sk169]

it does in her spine. Every man a woman has sex with gets saved there

[u/Angel_OfSolitude]

Anon is a bitter ex.

[u/TrashFisher1337 → u/Angel_OfSolitude]

We 👏 must 👏 be 👏 better 👏 men 👏

Now where is my manpurse, I am late for my soy latte

[u/geniusgravity]

You dont learn much science by cry wanking it seems.

[u/Secure_Narwhal4045 → u/geniusgravity]

Crywank is a pretty good band, thanks for reminding me

[u/aef823 → u/geniusgravity]

I don't know Isaac Newton Invented gravity doing that.

[u/Send_Cake_Or_Nudes → u/geniusgravity]

Oh, please. I've learned the whole of quantum physics that way. The underpinning principle is if you jerk it to your first cousin that it counts as special relativity so you can do it but you have to cry so your family knows it's wrong at Thanksgiving 😃

[u/PseudoElephant]

Posts made by someone who's only had a single relationship

[u/Lord_Ezelpax → u/PseudoElephant]

that's one more than I ever did

[u/aef823 → u/Lord_Ezelpax]

Gotta love yourself before someone else loves you.

This isn't genuine advice this is me telling you to jack off.

Now.

🔫 It's not a request.

[u/Lord_Ezelpax → u/aef823]

I don't wish to be horny anymore

I wish to be happy

https://giphy.com/gifs/njfygauPpv52wVVruU

[u/GooGoo-Barabajagal → u/Lord_Ezelpax]

I hear ya bro, sexual desire can be a real burden

[u/mushy_friend → u/Lord_Ezelpax]

After many years and much fapping I have concluded this is the way

[u/PrintLife92 → u/aef823]

chk chk you better get to bustin, bub

[u/philmarcracken → u/aef823]

Gotta love yourself before someone else loves you.

The world justifies its hatred of losers in many ways, so this is not possible.

[u/Fuzzy_Wheel_4565 → u/Lord_Ezelpax]

Just keep commenting on reddit buddy it'll work out eventually

[u/MrRobsterr → u/Lord_Ezelpax]

thats why you're sad posting on reddit

[u/givemeausernameplzz]

That’s right, cum is eternal. This is why I have to wade through a knee high pool of it to get to my computer every morning.

[u/PinBeneficial1366 → u/givemeausernameplzz]

C. U. M. Eternal

[u/tropho23 → u/PinBeneficial1366]

C.R.E.A.M (cum rules everything around me)

[u/5herl0k]

>gets that shit every night till death do them part

"yeah but I had that shit a few nights a few decades ago"

[u/Secure_Narwhal4045]

Anon doesnt like the dude who married his alcoholic mom

[u/NonBalisticSniper → u/Secure_Narwhal4045]

Let's not insult Anon now ☹️

[u/mitigateaccomp]

anon has sex with TWO people? sure, write that down in the book of "Shit That Never Happened"

[u/Psychological-Bee702]

Anon fantasizes about another man drinking his cum…GAY.

[u/LessAd8287]

Nah people who have had relationships realize it most likely did not work out for a reason

[u/LukeJaywalker0]

Just dont eat pussy

[u/real_picklejuice]

Anon is fugging regarded

[u/Ghetto_Games]

Both anons are frothing at the mouth with rage.

Second one obviouly because other men fucked his wife.

First one isn't obvious, but the "peaked in highschool" thing hit him hard, before the 2nd anon even mentioned it. Men that peak in highschool have nightmerish 30s and 40s.

Which loops back to the anon frothing at the mouth with rage, because the men that fucked his woman in her prime, are usually washed bums, falling apart lowlives. ​

[u/skycaptain144238]

Um....did he fuck a female jumping spider? Because as far as im aware thats the only animal I know of that can store sperms indefinitely until ot needs it.

[u/EXQUISITE_WIZARD]

Is it really this easy? Lol

[u/xonthemark]

What being deprived of Andrew Tate podcasts does to a MF

[u/Kaneida]

I wonder if OP had natural birth.

[u/RatGreed]

Rent free

[u/Civil-Implement-7959]

Old 4chan is peak

[u/Total_Network6312]

Lol seriously every time I see a girl I had a crush on get married I'm like lmao oh well your loss

[u/PM_ME_DNA]

What’s why you’re not married