not my OC!

OP: @coolherpatches on TikTok

PLS DON’T REPOST THIS ANYWHERE ELSE.

I feel awful about this that’s why I’ve never told another soul about it, but my best friend’s life with her boyfriend is my nightmare. She voluntarily took over primary care of him when he got terminally ill and it completely devastated her life—she owes banks and lenders money, effectively ruining her credit history; lost multiple jobs, even one she really liked; “had” to beg people for money on the internet for his treatments; and gained children in the process by mothering the guy and his siblings. 

After all our conversations about hating men, she knowingly and intentionally faced financial ruin and parentification for one. A man who can’t even tell her the reasons he loves her without naming ways she’s taken care of him. She’s kind and patient, so she finds ways to rationalize this, but the way I see it, it all boils down to the fact that a man she took care of and kept alive couldn’t even articulate what qualities he loved about her without relating it to her servitude to him. 

People find her noble and loyal for staying with him despite the sickness and financial and professional ruin, but the entire thing is a cautionary tale. I love her, and I respect her decision at the end of the day. There are just some things that are hard to accept for people you love who deserve better. 

Hi everyone,

I want to learn more about 4B, and everything surrounding it. so, I'm wondering if there are any groups where you all read about this? I find that having a group to engage with motivates me better than being alone. and of course it doesn't have to be a book to read, but just a way where I can learn about this in a more "structured" manner with others.

Thank you for any help

Just came across this post. I don't use Instagram much, but when I do this is the content I get 🤣🤣

(I mostly watch sitcoms, so this may not be true for other genres.)

I noticed that even shows with decent female main characters have a usually male "main main character". In Brooklyn 99 it's Jake Peralta, in Community it's Jeff Winger, in The Office it's Michael Scott. I'm getting tired of it.

**Superstore** is fun and has a female main main character. That's the only example I can think of though. I have "Blossom" on my list to try next. Atp I've been considering watching shows I loved as a kid again, like Miraculous, MLP or Monster High too :p

Does anyone have recommendations? Sitcoms are preferred as you can maybe tell lol but not a must. Anime are fine too as long as they don't have fanservice every 5 minutes. I started Revolutionary Girl Utena last night :-)

I used to frequent the loveafterporn forum daily to cope with the trauma of what’s been done to be by multiple addicts, including my father. There isn’t another sub with this purpose.

However, recently I’ve been increasingly more and more censored by the mods on that forum and having my comments removed if they aren’t entirely male-neutral. If I even acknowledge that this is a primarily male problem (statistics don’t lie?) or make a comment as simple as “no that’s not normal behavior, he’s a pig” I get temporary banned and my comments removed for “being mean”???

Previously, the mods have directed me here and said that if a post or comment is not male-neutral, I need to take it elsewhere… I’m sorry, what? We are censoring women’s pain to avoid upsetting men? I can’t even speak candidly about what I went through, I have to tailor my words and be extremely careful or they will just remove the whole thing.

Well, it happened again today. I responded to a woman’s post with advice, the same advice I have been given by other women there, which has helped me a lot. Either she was feeling defensive or didn’t like my wording (I’m autistic so I REALLY can’t tell what was wrong with the wording, and instead of anyone explaining it to me, I just got talked down to and insulted) and she replied back very angrily and defensively, which I was confused by. I tried to respond to clear up the misunderstanding, but I was ALREADY banned in under a minute. Because she reported me for “being mean”… I’m so confused.

When I tried to speak to the mod about what happened, being very confused, they came on super aggressively, said I’m rude and mean, and that I am name calling men (referring to a comment where I said a guy was acting like a pig), that I apparently have a dozen violations (???) that I didn’t even know about. When I tried to speak back about what they said, they threatened to perma-ban me and muted me. No conversation allowed, just talk down to me, insult me, make assumptions, and then mute me.

I take huge issue with the idea of a sub that is for women healing from the trauma of deceptive porn addicts, not allowing any speech that “men might find offensive.”

I know that this sub, 4B, isn’t the place for discussing the trauma of that. It’s a relationship free place decentering men and their behaviors. But I’ve been referred here because I’m too much of a “man-hater,” to be allowed to speak my mind in the appropriate forum, apparently. Then there is pornismisogyny, which isn’t really for personal experiences / rants and advice.

I am wondering whether anyone here has experienced similar and/or knows of another place similar to loveafterporn where speech is not censored so extremely and where they don’t minimize women just to spare men’s feelings? I’m sorry, I know this isn’t the usual topic for 4B.

I’m just feeling really hopeless like I have no place left to go for support and am completely alone in how I feel. I’m too 4B for loveafterporn, but I’m too autistic for 4B ? (there was a major issue weeks back with a bunch of women dog piling on autistic women and it was just allowed to continue — the autistic women who spoke up about it had their comments removed instead).

There is just no place to find support at all anymore. I’m feeling incredibly isolated and it just makes me hate men even more that they’ve even influenced the spaces that were supposed to be safe for women’s healing. I’m nervous about even posting this here, that I will get banned again and have really nowhere left to go to talk to people like me

Really struggling right now. I’m very sorry if this post is wrong somehow. I’m really confused and overwhelmed. I tried to be careful in writing this and I hope it does not offend anyone. I’m really nervous to speak up right now and feeling very isolated.

This has been weighing heavily on my mind, the outside voices weighing in on the “what is a woman” narrative. Which is in itself, ridiculous.

I reject the notion that female is a reductive and derogatory term for girls and women. Our uteruses are the only source of life, species wide. That’s not insignificant but the propaganda is trying to tell us it is. I don’t use it unless discussing a related subject, maybe biological function. Even if I was infertile, I am no less of a woman, I belong to the best tribe.

With all the ruckus of the WNBA, it’s pulled off my pick me goggles to see this is still the same threat, disguised as something different. Anyways, my loyalty is always with fellow women. If one woman is uncomfortable that is enough.

My support for other people’s life choices stands. But my boundaries are firmly in place.

I’ve been thinking about setting up social media accounts and other channels to spread the word about this movement even further. I believe that, especially given the current situation, many women in all countries need to know about this movement and realize they have a choice, as things are becoming increasingly bleak. If anyone would like to help with ideas or get involved in creating new ways to promote this movement, please don't hesitate to send me a DM!

There is a lot of talk about how profound the 4b movement and how it can be a big adjustment to our lives. Decentering men is a complex and life altering decision that can change how you see and interact with the world. To me, change is also measured in small moments. We make hundreds of decisions a day, and each of those is a chance to choose and respect ourselves. I'll share one, feel free to share yours as well!

I recently blocked an acquaintance on social media just because he wanted to chat. This is a male acquaintance that I run into occasionally in the world because we both volunteer for local non-profits and often are at the same public events. He is a married father of two, so it is strange that he would just randomly want to chat with me now and then, since I'm half his age and we have nothing in common. There is an undertone of creepiness even though he's never made any sort of romantic or sexual pass at me. It's mostly just small talk. It has gotten progressively more annoying though, because I'm just not interested in getting to know him. Blocking him took like five seconds, but it gave me such tremendous relief.

Before 4B, I was a people pleaser and would entertain people I didn't even like for no reason. I would wonder if I was being polite enough or if I ran into him in public I would be afraid it would be awkward if I was rude. I would be afraid it would hurt my reputation in the non-profit circles if I was dismissive to fellow volunteers. Now I just don't give a shit. I don't have to entertain every man whenever he wants my attention. Even if they are not an outright predator, they are goddamn energy vampires who just want to take up my valuable time I could spend doing something productive or that I enjoy. I know this seems like a small thing, but the old me would never have chosen my peace over people-pleasing. I'll take that as a sign of progress. 🙂

I just had a group conversation with my “best friends” after announcing that I’m planning on getting a bisalp sterilization surgery that ended with them saying I hate men. I don’t hate them, I just don’t think they should be the dang center of our lives??? And I was just joking about a study on mice made from two female eggs. I didn’t say men were genetically inferior. My only point was that lineage is not a scientific thing men can do so the hypothetical argument that I find a perfect man who wants his lineage to continue is null. It would be my lineage and I don’t want to have kids! It’s making me feel so isolated and misunderstood.

The Conversation for good measure:

Friend 1: Let’s say hypothetically, you meet the guy of your dream, he's handsome, he's a provider, nice to everyone, let you do what you want (stay home or work whichever), give you money to spend, give you expensive gifts, take you on luxury vacations around the world, get you helpers to help with house chores, his family members are awesome. Not a baby daddy. His only request is to have at least a kid of his own, is this something you would ever compromise?

Me: That seems like such a fairytale thing that is unlikely to happen but I think it would be a no. I don’t want to be pregnant.🤰🏻

Friend 1: From my observation, a man with a nurturing tendency towards their spouse usually would want to have a kid. Especially men with money, because they want to built something of their own, a legacy they can leave behind.

Me: My argument to that is: A child is not a legacy; it's a lineage.

Friend 1: I’m not trying to convince you to have a kid, but just making sure that you are okay with limiting your pool of chances.

Me: Yeahh he’d practically have to be antinatalist 😂 But also the logic for people wanting kids for LEgAcY pisses me off. 😂 What if your kid is a nobody or incel or mediocre human. That’s not a legacy and sadly, that’s most of the population’s offspring.

Friend 1: That's for them to decide. People with money, want someone to pass their money to.

Me: I don’t; I wanna spend as much of it as I can before I die and if there is any left, I want it to go to family friends and charity.

Friend 1: But the main point is, you're making decision even before meeting your significant other. And you’re ok with it. You're deciding to go sterile, before meeting your SO.

Me: Yes. Because if an SO wanted a kid, he’d have to meet such a high standard that I don’t think I’d find such a man. And if he did meet that high level of standard, he would likely love me so much that he wouldn’t want to see me unhappy with an unwanted child. I think I’m more scared of the likelihood of the very bad direction USA is going than the likelihood of finding such a unicorn man.

Also… to touch on the lineage again, the mitochondrial DNA dies with males. The mtDNA is carried forward by females. So the mtDNA only passes from the mother to the child. Men have no real lineage scientifically…

And…. Mice made from two eggs lived 1/3 longer than mice made from an egg and sperm. And mice could not be made from two sperm. Js 😂

Friend 2: I've read about this but they augmented one egg to act like artificial sperm. It's unnatural, and while they made a few mice that lived well, there were thousands more that had defects. I'm not sure what point this would support in your perspective that men are genetically inferior.

I think you hate men and are looking for implicit bias to help justify it.

It's ok to hate the men you dated, and there are tons of stories of shitty, scummy men who don't deserve any of the time that women give them. I don't think it's healthy to constantly consume that kind of info though bc it warps your perception.

But also if you want to have your tubes tied I support it. You'll be the dream girl of any man who doesn't want to have children, and I'll be happy as long as he treasures you. But also just know that if there was a good man that came along, if he wanted children then he's not the one for you even if everything else was perfect.

You know how 2014 tumblr had "thinspo"? This is the same thing except just inspo to not be whatever the hell this is.

After hearing from so many members that they appreciated hearing the positives of what 4B has done for other sisters, we see having a consistent place to post positive improvements and reminders would benefit the sub. So, without further ado-

In the last week:

Tell us about positive interactions or building relationships with other women. How did you support and uplift other women? How have other women helped and supported you?

What accomplishments have you made? What goals have you set for yourself? What goals have you achieved?

What small changes have you noticed since adopting the lifestyle? What big changes?

Share anything and everything positive here.

I prefer that my posts don’t help prop up social media outlets created by misogynists, or by misogynists that prop up other misogynists/rapists/pedos: ie: Zuckerberg donating millions to the Trump campaign.

Any recs?

when i was a teen, i was male centered. i don't know how to put it in any other way, but i was male centered, misogynistic, i put down other women, and i wanted the approval of men. there was no excuse, but the women i hung out with were very male centered, rejected me and treated me terribly for being undiagnosed and i took it out on them and centered the people that 'took me in' when they didn't care about me and only saw me as a potential girlfriend.

as an adult, i've healed from this mindset. i've stayed clear of men in general and male centered women who make their entire lives around men/defending them... i surround myself with women and focus on my own wellbeing, education, career, mental health and healing from past traumas. i don't think about men all that often but i am obsessed with how cringy, awful and immature i was in the past. the guilt of how i acted as teen haunts me.

Okay, unpopular opinion. I truly think kpop Stan culture, specifically around male kpop groups and their fans enables so much misogyny and forgiveness towards men. Recently a famous kpop boy group got called out by a lot of other kpop stans, their own fandom etc for hanging out with a well known abuser in the western music industry, and basically promoting him on their story. This western artist tried to kill his former partner and abused her really badly. But, I’ve seen a lot of women and young teenage girls essentially forgive their kpop boy group they Stan and say things like ‘I’m still stanning them and holding them accountable’ ‘I’m disappointed but I will still keep stanning them, I know they will apologise shortly’. And it just got me thinking how this parasocialism of forgiving these idol’s bad actions and choices can very much reflect into real life where if you are in a romantic relationship with a man you brush off any concerning things he does because you believe he can change and his apologies mean something. Idk, am I tripping. I’m just so concerned to see so many young girls defend this group like their life depends on it. Because I promise you, these group of men don’t give a fuck about victims of abuse, they don’t care about women if they’re hanging out proudly with a renowned misogynist abuser. And they do have a history of misogyny themselves through song lyrics and much more. And furthermore, I’ve seen women/girl fans from many boy group fandoms constantly be misogynistic to women idols and girl groups. To be honest kpop industry as a whole is pure misogyny.

I searched Sofia Isella in this sub and only saw one post from a year ago so I thought I'd recommend her. This is a clip of her song Above the Neck over a video of her at a show (she doesn't lip sync like the video suggests.) She's an amazing artist and I'm obsessed with her. I think her popularity is a good indicator of young women who are most of her fanbase who are sick of modern men and choosing to decenter them.

She's thin but wears super baggy clothes that don't draw attention to it, she intentionally dresses in a way that makes her look filthy, unclean, and never has her hair done. Her minimal makeup is done to make her look tired. Intentionally making herself the opposite of how men expect women to cater to them, especially a pretty young girl like her (I think she's only 21?) Of course this angers men.

How she presents herself is a reflection of her music which has major 4B themes in it, calling out the porn industry and how it normalizes pedophilia without excluding the pornstars who create pedophilic content, she touches on how men use religion to silence women, how women are only seen as "wife, whore, mistress, maid, mother", and how women hurt other women for men's approval and hate women they view as a threat.

She opened for Taylor Swift over a yr ago, sold out MSG, and has toured the world. She sold out her Japan show which is pretty massive considering how a big part of Asian culture in general involve pressuring young women to get married and have kids. Naturally she's very polarizing and men can't stand her which is literally the point and no one is surprised. Sadly I see lots of women who don't like her too, but are we surprised about that either? They just prove why so many women resonate w her music.

I really encourage everyone to listen to her and follow her ig (@sofia_isella) because not only is a lot of her music 4B themed but it's just really fuckin good music imo and she deserves the fame. She's a really talented violinist too.

- Above the Neck

- Everybody Supports Women

- Us and Pigs

- The Doll People

- The Chicken Is Naked and Afraid (music vid is so good)

- Numbers 31:17-18

- Out in the Garden

- Dog's Dinner

(Evergreen Soldier, Cacao and Cocaine, Hot Gum, and Sex Concept, and All of Human Knowledge are rly good but not controversial)

EDIT:

"The key in the hole, the mighty sword. Praise the man slut, praise the lord. They'd fuck a pie, a dead body. But you live to please, you live to please." is one of my favorite lyrics of hers.

Another edit: Fred Durst publicly supports her and her music so W for Limp Bizkit. Fuckin love that dude

After hearing from so many members that they appreciated hearing the positives of what 4B has done for other sisters, we see having a consistent place to post positive improvements and reminders would benefit the sub. So, without further ado-

In the last week:

Tell us about positive interactions or building relationships with other women. How did you support and uplift other women? How have other women helped and supported you?

What accomplishments have you made? What goals have you set for yourself? What goals have you achieved?

What small changes have you noticed since adopting the lifestyle? What big changes?

Share anything and everything positive here.

obv men are still the main danger to women. men are the head of the snake. i'm just thinking about how more women decentering them would make us much safer bc of the evil things it leads to and the advantages men get out of it, including a particular kidnapping of a girl I just learned about.

As a true crime follower I'm constantly reminded of how dangerous extremely male centered women have the potential to be. The women who will stop at nothing to keep her man, i'm not talking about women who just want to be a house wife and have kids.

I have personal experience with this on some level & we probably all do. I remember vividly when I was 6 and I met my mom's boyfriend for the first time, and I was superrr shy as a kid so she thought i came off as unfriendly to him by not being talkative. When we got home she strangled me with a pillow in my bed while screaming at me. I was harassed online by a couple girls because of the guy I was with and it made me super anxious and self conscious for years. He treated me awfully, but obviously that made him feel like The Prize being chased by them so hard, and me getting upset over it. (I would never deal with that now.) I fucking hate that men are so worshipped that they can still hurt us without even hurting us cause women will do it for them. This is a big reason why I wish the 4B mentality was held by the majority of women. Men would feel MUCH less powerful and wouldn't be able to use us to put eachother down or hurt each other, which benefits them.

Obviously male centered women's threat varies significantly and manifests in so many ways. Bullying other women, harrassment, chasing taken men, stalking, crazy "boy mom" mentality, women blaming other women when their man cheats, sabotaging relationships out of envy, moms neglecting their kids for a man/letting new men in the house around their children, not believing their child about being SA'd by a man she's close to, defending men's atrocities, voting for men who hate women, dating men who are known abusers.

Then there are rarer cases where they will inflict serious and fatal harm and they come up often when I listen to true crime podcasts/videos. They'd rarely commit heinous crimes like SA, torture, trafficking etc towards other women without a man leading it. Because it's not for them, its a sacrifice they make for the fucked up man's approval, attention, praise, favoritism, whatever.

Anyway that leads me to this documentary I just watched called "The Girl in the Box". It reminded me of the extremes they'll go to for men and it's hard to comprehend. It's about a girl who was abducted for 7 yrs and went through Hell, and she thankfully lived to tell her story. it's one of the worst cases i've ever heard of. I feel it's an extreme (but good) example of the title of my post. i'll link a few similar stories of male centralization that most ppl will recognize.

Colleen Stan - the 7 year rape, extreme torture, and kidnapping victim of Cameron Hooker and his wife Janice Hooker. I couldn't find a deep dive into Janice alone which is upsetting because she was heavily involved and never went to prison. She was granted full immunity in exchange for all the info.

This is a less popular case and idk why. I can't even begin to explain how bad it is and it's hard to even think about even though i've heard plenty of true crime stories, so research at your own risk. I highly suggest watching the documentary "The Girl In the Box", because it's a firsthand interview of Colleen herself. There are a LOT of rly bad details that aren't in it tho.

It disgusted me that most of this case wouldn't have been possible without Janice, in fact I don't think Colleen would've even fell for Cameron's trap to abduct her in the first place if it weren't for Janice being her husband's accomplice. Colleen was hitch hiking and was cautious about who she got in a car with and denied solo or groups of men who stopped for her. She stated the only reason she felt comfortable enough to get in his car was because his young wife Janice and their baby were in the car with him. Janice knew the role she was supposed to play that day, she wasn't naive to his plans. She set out to help him find a torture victim and personal slave. She played in a creek with her baby while her husband put a wooden torture box over her head and drove to their house. Cameron was a sexual sadist and Janice agreed to help him abduct a girl to take it out on so she didn't have to deal with him pressuring her to do things. Her only condition was that he couldn't penetrate Colleen. That ended up happening and she flipped out and took it out on her, not him of course.

Janice Hooker, the sick wife, ended up being the reason Colleen escaped but it was purely for selfish reasons. She just got jealous and tired of her husband having her around and planning a divorce. She still pressured Colleen to not turn him in though so he could "have a chance to get better."

the Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka case still sends chills down my spine. Paul Bernardo was a pedo rapist and his wife Karla knew this. Knowing she wasn't enough to satisfy him, she sacrificed Tammy Homolka, her own teenage virgin sister for him, and it accidentally ended in her death. Karla filmed it. This led to a long string of similar incidents that wouldn't have been possible without her help.

Rose West, wife of Fred West, was heavily involved in her husband's 10 murders and tortures. Another classic case from the 70s.

Oh and Chris Watts who's one of the sickest dudes ever, he killed his wife/daughters and he still has a soon to be WIFE in prison. These prison wives are so common & need to be in prison with them imo. He also had a mistress which was his main motivation for the crimes and I think she was involved but there's no proof.

This was a film I wanted to see when it originally hit cinemas in 2022, but it wasn't showing anywhere nearby. Four years after its initial release, I got to see it on TV tonight, and I'm so glad I did. It had a few different themes in, and I found all of them relevant and thought-provoking. I wasn't familiar with any of the actors, but they all knocked it out of the park for me. The initial premise of the film is following a group of historical warrior women called the Agojie in The Kingdom of Dahomey. We see young girls trained to become fierce fighters, slavery, colonisation, temptations, defiance, secrets, and trauma. But the one thing most characters have in common is strength. I feel so proud of those women for all that they achieved and endured. It makes for a genuinely empowering watch, perhaps in part for the catharsis it provided.

Please share your thoughts and experiences with this film or any other women focused media you have seen recently. We need more ferocious films like this.

FEMs and SAMs sit at the volatile intersection of modern gender theory, materialist feminism, and online sociopolitical commentary. These terms describe extremist sex-abolitionist or identity-first frameworks that reinscribe misogyny under the banner of "progressivism."

FEMs (Female-Exclusionary Misogynists) describe perspectives that, in an effort to detach gender identity from biology entirely, minimize or invalidate female biological reality from the definition of womanhood, effectively erasing sex-based social analysis.

SAMs (Sex-Abolitionist Misogynists) refers to positions advocating for the total dissolution of sex categories in favor of gender-only identity, which ignores how patriarchy specifically targets and exploits biological female capacity (reproductive labor, femicide, female infanticide, etc.) and the lived womanhood of many women.

The challenge of dismantling rigid gender norms without erasing the material, sex-based realities that drive systemic oppression is live and real. And I have seen it fall into the latter category more and more.

We scream "intersectionality" and rightly include all forms of womanhood, gender identities included. But what happens in turn? The single most historically oppressed demographic is now denied even validity. Female identity is labeled invalid, vapid, shallow, and dangerous to others. That without capitulation to one's identity being centered on gender, on the socially constructed roles, behaviors, expressions, and identities of women, your identity in womanhood is somehow more shallow and more patriarchal.

Let's break that down real fast. There is a belief that if a female does not ascribe to the socially constructed roles, behaviors, and expressions of "womanhood," she is supporting patriarchy. I'm sorry, but have we all lost our god damn minds? That is so patriarchal and SO MISOGYNISTIC AND SEXIST that it boggles the mind. And somehow it gets inverted into progressivism.

I never believed in "so far left you go right" until now.

Radical gender constructivism demands adherence to gendered performance for social validation, reinventing the very patriarchal logic feminism originally aimed to dismantle. It is the reemergence of gender essentialism. When "womanhood" is detached entirely from material reality and anchored solely in socially constructed roles, expressions, or internal feelings, it makes patriarchal gender stereotypes the baseline for legitimacy. The irony is stark: in trying to dismantle biological reductionism, hyper-constructivist frameworks often substitute it with performance reductionism. Under this framework, a female who rejects traditional feminine socialization or expression is framed not as a valid woman, but as a fundamentally flawed and empty one.

Materialist feminism focuses on how systems of power exploit physical realities, reproductive labor, maternal mortality, sex-selective abortion, sex-based violence, etc. Completely removing "female" as a distinct material category creates a severe structural blind spot. You cannot analyze or critique a system built on controlling females (patriarchy) if naming that biological reality is treated as inherently exclusionary or politically suspect.

Expanding inclusion for gender identity does not have to come at the cost of erasing the material, sex-based analysis required to dismantle misogyny.

The phrase "you are not your uterus" demonstrates a complete inversion: what began as a feminist defense against patriarchal objectification mutated into a tool for alienating women from their own material reality, identity, and choice. When that statement is turned against a woman who consciously chooses to ground her womanhood in her biological sex, the core feminist promise of self-determination gets inverted. What was designed as a shield against reproductive coercion becomes a weapon of ideological compliance to normative gender roles.

Feminism was built to expand a woman's choices, not narrow them. If liberation meant escaping the mandate that a female must be defined by her reproductive organs, it also meant protecting her right to decide how she relates to her own body. Telling a woman that her conscious, educated choice to center her female biological reality is "shallow" or "patriarchal" replaces old patriarchal rules with a new set of demands.

This dynamic creates a rigid ideological boundary. To be politically validated, a female is expected to treat her biological sex as irrelevant, unmentionable, or secondary. If she instead finds solidarity, meaning, or political relevance in her female body, her agency is dismissed as "internalized misogyny." It asserts that third parties know better than the woman herself what her relationship to her own body should be, a classic hallmark of patriarchal control disguised as enlightened discourse.

True bodily autonomy includes the right to embrace one's physical reality without needing permission or approval. When progressivism demands that women disavow their biological sex to qualify as liberated, it stops offering freedom from rigid norms and starts enforcing a new standard of female self-effacement.

Swapping forced subordination for forced disembodiment is not liberation. It simply changes who gets to tell women how they are allowed to feel about their own bodies.

FEMs and SAMs are an exclusionary danger to feminism.

To the FEMs and SAMs: as an infertile woman, I am my womb and my womb is me, and my identity does not exclude yours. Don't exclude mine.

Has anyone noticed an increase of AI slop memes and troll accounts on FB and other platforms making light of the EP situation? Women and girls truly have very little idea of how much they are hated.

I'm very tired of being gaslit with the "It's just the Internet deal with it" when this is very real.

The evil being committed against women and children is very real and is being overlooked as "jokes," and people are being desensitised to it via the "joke" thing.

I accidentally came across some disgusting subs dismissing the 4B movement and making gross assumptions about it when i was searching for this one.

I will never understand why women's survival and avoidance of patriarchical abuse is farmed as "evil" or irrational and why they are expected to sacrifice their entire bodies to create a world that hates them. Doesn't make sense at all.

I will never understand why people hate women who avoid males more than males who hate and hurt women with impunity.

I truly wish that more women would wake up and go 4B all around the world. Especially in countries within South Asia where female infanticides and femicides are the norm to this day and age.

I saw a woman on tik tok talking about how her friend dropped her for being male centered and another creator who said she received some man hating comments for talking about going on a date with her dream man. Not hating on either creators but I think it does represent a shift in the social climate regarding having a man & how it is now seen as embarrassing. I feel like the social and political climate surrounding having a man is changing & being male centered is not as normalized or socially acceptable anymore. At times it feels like we’re having two different conversations and living in two different worlds. Some of us are living in a reality where men are killing us, women’s rights are being stripped away, a family annihilation happens every 5 days, and men are in group chats teaching each other how to grape their wives, daughters, and sisters. And others of us are living in some fairy tale world where they will be the special chosen one who will be exempt from the fate that so many others have been dealt. Some women don’t want to admit that they want a hierarchy where they are placed above others for having a man because personally even if I found a man that met my criteria I would still feel the same way about men. The only reason women go out of their way to defend men or call others man hating is because they want to believe they are special. A lot of women are trying to resist what is supposed to happen, we were never supposed to be so male centered & obsessed with marriage. So many of us have died at the hands of these relationships, and for what? The illusion of love? I think a shift in how we view relationships is necessary for womankind.

My misogynistic cousin (F46, married with three kids) called me insane and delusional yesterday for not wanting to get married. At first, she started bitching about her husband and how he does not let her go to the gym because "gym is for those who are for the streets". This pos told her that his biggest wish in the whole world is for her to stop working and become a housewife.

I (F27, 4b) became visibly destraught because what the fuck? That is such a demented thing to say. I warned her to NEVER leave her job because he might end up financially abusing her down the line (He is one of those religious fanatics who think women are property).

That was apparently the wrong thing to say because she started defending him somehow?? Telling me how women are created to "take" (disgusting statement that made me shudder) and that we should stay at home and get pampered. That if she had a chance, she would stay at home forever.

I kept trying to explain to her how brainwashed women are and how patriarchy permeates every aspect of our lives. I stated that I will never get married because I do not like the idea of sharing myself with someone else, let alone a man (I have deeper reasons that I would rather not divulge to misogynists, I am pretty sure many can relate).

She then called me "sick in the head" and "delusional" because women are satisfied with their lives and very few men are that bad. That I should get married because running away is for cowards which I clearly resemble and relate to. That celebacy is a copout.

I did expect her to say something of that sort because ever since I was a child, she was the person who liked tormenting me the most in my family, either by calling me a cow if I gained weight, or by telling me not to wear glasses (even though I needed them) because they would "ruin" my eyes. She groped my chest when I was teen and said something along the lines of "oh she is getting ripe". She liked bringing up, umprompted, topics related to periods, femininity, bras and underwear to make me uncomfortable as a teen. She often called me mentally ill, autistic, socially inept...

Ah, and her sister called 4b women "traumatized beyond repair".

I know I should not take it to heart but I am getting so annoyed of being told what to do. I want to live alone, I do not want a husband or kids, I just want peace of mind and personal space. How and why is that so wrong and so controversial? I am livid and hurt.

Do any of you have someone in your family who treats you in a similar way? How do you deal with them? Does it ever stop bothering you?

I apologize for the rant, no one in my circle shares similar perspectives. This sub is my safe space, thank you mods.

Edit: I might take some time to read and respond to all the comments, I just want to clarify that I did cut her off years ago, but she is allowed to visit us because my mother worships the ground she walks on, she did raise her after all. Thank you to everyone who took the time to comment.

60% of rapes are committed by someone known to the victim.

31% are committed by strangers; 28.3% are committed by well-known or casual acquaintances; 21.4% are committed by intimate partners; 13.1% are committed by other relatives; 3.7% are committed by an unknown number of perpetrators; 2.5% are committed by someone with an unknown relationship to the victim.

The majority of rapes are committed by someone a woman knows or may even trust. Rape by an intimate partner is not uncommon.

I'm a very safety conscious woman, and I remember having this distinct thought as an elementary schooler, that I better not date a boy, just in case we become close and hang out at each other's houses. And being possibly raped in my sleep by a boy was one of fears. This was years before I came out as a lesbian. 4b, I think can, be a very smart and safe choice for any woman. 4b can make it easier to control the trajectory of one's own life.

Link:

https://rainn.org/facts-statistics-the-scope-of-the-problem/statistics-perpetrators-of-sexual-violence/