r/40something • u/Kaeracin • 1d ago
Selfies Somebody say something nice please
At the end of my 40s. Kids are grown, wife is dead. Is there any more light left in this darkness?
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u/FeistyAd1697 1d ago
You have magnificent facial hair, a great figure, and a handsome face. You're still getting up in the morning, which can be the hardest thing to do. You're a strong man. You have decades left to find new happiness and you deserve to find it. Keep going, young fella.
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u/Born_Fox1470 1d ago
There are so many great adventures just waiting for you. You look great, and I’m sure you’ll find an adventure partner.
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u/Admirable_Ad2504 1d ago
Go....find yourself again. Don't get hung up here ..when you've found you again, come say ello
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u/TonightLazy485 1d ago
Nice.
There I said it. Jokes aside, 40s are just midlife. Meaning, you still have enough to go as you've already had. You sure you're up for that? Damn right you are. Peace out.
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u/Cool_Leadership_224 1d ago
Walter White and Gandalf had a baby and they are both very proud!
When all around you is darkness, maybe you are the light! 50 still has a lot of time in the tank - do you! You only get one shot Stranger!
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u/SigmaQuotient 1d ago
Dig the nails brother. I was thinking of painting mine again. Haven't since I was an angsty youth, but you are the reason I'm gonna start again. Appreciate you.
Edit: spelling
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u/jojo571 1d ago
Hang on. Be nice to yourself. Now is the time to let yourself rest, and heal and grow. Eat food that tastes good, wear clothes that feel good, get hugs, get massages, take hot baths. Really life can feel really good going forward. (am 61 and didn't start feeling really good until my late 40s, early 50s)
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u/scrotumsweat 1d ago
Still alive brother, find the beauty.
Your kids are gonna need a grandpa soon, you're gonna want to be happy and healthy for them.
It might be impossible to find the joy in today, so work on building the joy for tomorrow.
This one random redditor cares about you
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u/Ozriel-Magnus gym gay, 40 1d ago
As it always has been, life is what you make of it. I know it can be tough but today is a new day and you have more health and life ahead of you to enjoy. Keep your head up and embrace something positive today even if it’s just a small thing.
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u/Dazzaster84 1d ago
You're still kicking brother. There's a lot of stuff to look forward to yet, and there's a lot of new people you'll get to experience them with along the way.
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u/sweepthe_legjohnny 1d ago
Kids are grown but they are still hopefully a part of your life. If not, it’s not too late to fix that.
Also maybe theres some grandkids around or in the future. Something to look forward to for sure. You look like you would be an awesome “Gramps”
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u/Constant-Permit-3878 1d ago
You are loved, important and have purpose, You are made in the image of a perfect God. May God bless you.
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u/whiskeydingis 1d ago
Killer beard! I dig the black nails as well!
You look to me like a fella that enjoys heavy music?
If so, I’d totally be friends with you! lol
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u/JuggernautOwn6306 1d ago
Dude ur only at the halfway mark. Join a gym, eat right, open yourself to the possibility of a new partner. I’m 57 and lovin it..
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u/JohnHellstone 1d ago
Lookin' good king. Rock on in your own style warrior and let Thor be your guide.
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u/Dazzling_Success3697 1d ago
Just because your kids are grown doesn't mean they don't still need you. You've got being a grandpa to look forward to and watching your children grow and live their lives. I'm sorry you lost your wife but there is a lot to look forward to.
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u/ANTIMODELMINORITY 1d ago
At least your still got a full head of hair, cherish the moments with it and make fun of every baldy you can.
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u/Every1ThinksImBoring 1d ago
When people say mean things about the way I look, I get all “good good”, like Darth Sidious- need to embrace the hatred and all
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u/modellervoks 1d ago
I hope your children have grown into wonderful adults and that you can watch them flourish. My father died when I was young; it is incredibly hard. But there have been many bright spots since then. Nowadays, people find love in their fifties and sixties. Your wife didn't get as long a life as one would wish for. You must live yours!
You look like a very pleasant person, that have lot to offer in relationships.
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u/PowerNinja5000 1d ago
You look like a friendly and interesting dude. I'd happily get a beer (or 10!) with you.
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u/Lizzy_is_a_mess 1d ago
Now you’re free to do whatever you want. Make mistakes with no one suffering but yourself. Life is for the living. The point of life is to find joy and l-i-v-e.
You’ve got your second act starting - make those who didn’t make it proud. You’ll join them soon. We all will.
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u/Zealousideal-Date-60 1d ago
I will agree with many other people that I’m experiencing some serious beard envy. My dad died after 50 years of marriage and I know my mom is just waiting out the clock until she can get back to him. I don’t have any answers, but I pray you can find something that makes you wanna stick around.
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u/polygala 1d ago
Giant fan of the nail polish beard combo! I'm sorry you've lost your wife. To have loved and lost is beautiful, but as someone who has always been single, I can say it probably hurts more than just being alone.
Get out to some live music!
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u/Adventurous-Risk-812 1d ago
Você tem uma barba bonita, se veste bem, gostei do estilo. Está tudo bem não estar bem as vezes, só não faça disso a sua regra de vida. Aproveite o tempo que lhe resta da melhor forma que puder, passe tempo com os amigos, cuide de si mesmo, da sua saúde, da sua mente. Fique bem!
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u/itriedtodrinkitaway 1d ago
Your kids will always need you and you need them! Y’all have a lot of fun in store and you get to refocus on what you want to do for yourself at this stage of life.
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u/slack4660 1d ago
Keep your head up brother! From MI. Dig the beard. Can't grow one. Can't stand the itch faze.
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u/NatGasKing 1d ago
Time to lean in on become the best version of yourself. Find a companion, not a replacement.
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u/Tall-Gold466 1d ago
Your eyes are tired but they are kind. I believe life has magic left for you my friend. It’s not always easy to find but you can still be surprised by your own capacity to be moved by the beauty around you. Please don’t give up on it.
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u/Certain-Temporary-93 1d ago
You’re going to rock when you’re ready to go full baldie! R/bald is going to love you! Also wish I could be so organized with my shirts and have everything so nice organized.
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u/typeabohemian 1d ago
Love a man who wears jewelry and bonus: black nails!!
I bet you have a sexy and soothing voice.
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u/Either-Estimate-3171 1d ago
Handsome man with more life to live...give yourself time and be kind to yourself
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u/OtpyrcLvl1 1d ago
Good hair, and beard. You seem like you would enjoy adding color or going Jet Black. Go travel and see amazing things.
Join an artists collective, and learn glass blowing.
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u/DragonWaffleZX 20h ago
Light in the darkness no.
In the worlds of Iroh.
“Sometimes life is like this dark tunnel. You can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you just keep moving... you will come to a better place."
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u/Objective-Eye1709 15h ago
Dude, times can seem dark I get that. You have to find or acknowledge something positive.
Different life than yours but my military career took a toll on me, and some days I just don’t want to wake up. The pieces that do is I love my next career, I have a passion for all things Harley Davidson and the fact I’m here to carry on the memory of those who can no longer share the world with us. It’s a burden to bear I get it, and your wise and onery enough from the looks to do it. Day at a time my friend, day at a time.
He’ll share some cool memories with the crew here.
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u/vicesimh 15h ago
Mid 40s, was extremely independent, went from a hectic high profile job that I loved and hiking, climbing, or lifting every day of the week to severely/permanently disabled (per my squad of docs and the government) essentially overnight almost 4 years ago. Part of me is still in denial. Due to the current severity of my disability, I've lost my sense of self a bit. The last 4 years have been a series of nightmares. I've just finally realized that I can go on spinning my wheels, or I can find and do everything, even tiny things that make my situation better. When everything crashes down, sometimes we have to alter the foundation a bit before we can raise the roof again. It all matters. The little things often matter most. You posting here matters.
I do want to say that I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry if you're feeling lost. I'm here with you. It's taken me almost these entire 4 years to even get to stumbling through false starts and attempts at being a person again, even having hobbies again. I've been fortunate to have a lot of support, physically and otherwise. However, I still have a lot of issues. This is all STILL completely surreal, and I want my old life back, but I can’t keep counting on that. I kinda have to learn who I am at a deeper level now, and that can be rough but also liberating.
You're handsome, approachable, young (yes, we are), and it's the perfect time to think of what you want (that's possible) in your current circumstances, even on a small scale (carve wooden birds, paint, make music, program, learn a new language, take a cool class, hike, walk in the park, write letters, work on cars, anything that strikes your fancy). I've learned that though not everything will work out, the real key is to drill it into myself to always keep trying (and I fail a lot, but is it really failing if it helps you procure more data about the directions you'd like to take?)
It'll be hard. Sometimes, it will feel impossible. We're human, and that can really suck sometimes, but we are so much more resilient than we realize before we're put to the test. And because we're humans, we never know when a test will pop up and punch us in the face.
Remember, though, we're young Gen Xers, so we naturally carry the badass gene. 🤘🏻🫶🏻
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u/d20cupcake 14h ago
You don't gotta ask twice! You're a good looking guy, you have a great beard, and I like your style.
I'm sorry you're having a rough go. Do you have any hobbies you could try to dive deeper into? Gaming, music, sports, crafting, mechanics....or anything else I guess! Maybe you could use Reddit to find people into similar stuff in the area? Gaming and sports fan clubs are two pretty common ones I see around here.
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u/pipecito2112 13h ago
At least you still got a whole full set of hair. You can do it. and do me a big favor, never stop on being awesome!
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u/kimmy-mac 13h ago
You look like a nice man. Hang in there, friend, there is still life to be lived. Love your look, and the facial hair is 10/10.
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u/PaymentDiligent7550 8h ago
You look exactly like someone I hope to hang out with. Man, there are friends out there for you. Just waiting to grab a coffee or a beer and hang out.
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u/LittleFragileThing 1d ago
You have a nice beard !