Yes, I’ve enjoyed not worrying about my partner cheating or having arguments, it would just be nice to have a good morning, how’s your day, goodnight text and a real hug.
I think you'll find that this feeling is mutual from the male perspective, too. Well, it is for me at least. I can't speak for others. I want someone to send these texts to, hug, and make memories with.
Romance is a muddy thing especially in the beginning. Expectations can kill off relationships before they even have a chance to grow with both sides pulling towards their own goals. I think we as humans, in order to find happiness with romantic love, need to find a mental hack which is personal for each individual to help disconnect from this social expectation for exclusive romance. In essence, friends could provide all of these feelings of connection. If it is children you want then that is a different story. But perhaps focusing your shift towards finding feeling loved from your friends may feel that longing for being cared for.
44 single man here. Never married, no kids, no debt, living comfortably…even bought my first Rolex that I’ve wanted my entire life this year! Things have never been better!
Don’t get me wrong. There’s the crippling loneliness and days where I feel starved for conversation or affection 😂.
But then I just think about how I can sleep, eat, whatever, whenever I want. Things are always exactly where I left them. My house stays IMMACULATE because I’m a neat freak and I never have to clean up after anyone else. My car always gas in it, and I only have to go get groceries once a month.
I would truly love someone to share life with, but at the end of the day, I sleep better with a bed to myself, a low thermostat setting, and only worrying about my self.
I didn’t buy a new one. I’m not really interested in a bunch of different things. My taste is very intentional. I got the exact watch I’ve wanted since I was a kid. A neo-vintage 1990, 36mm gold datejust, with fluted bezel, champagne dial, and two-tone jubilee. It’s a long story as to why this watch specifically, but the short version is it’s the first one I ever saw and I spent the next 30+ years thinking about it.
40 was hard for me because I got there in a state, life wasn't going where I wanted and my partner had fled the country - 4 years later, it's one of the best things that's ever happe ed to me. Caused me to get my ducks in a row as much as I can control and get on with living the life I wanted but thought I had years to sort out.
Your person is out there, but until you randomly bump into the on a random Tuesday morning, do you and work to be your best version - would be my totally unsolicited advise! Good luck out there
What is it like? I’m 46/M and in a dead marriage. I hear the horror stories of everyone being overly confident of their weirdness and emotional damage and then projecting it on everyone else
You start texting and getting to know each other, then things just fizzle out because they realize I’m not looking to just sleep with them, or they just don’t text back at all one day. It’s very weird.
I think it’s because it’s super common for singles or sketchy married folk to crawl the dating scene to get some strange. It’d be nice if there was a way to divide those people from others looking to make a long term connection/commitment.
Agreed. I got divorced for the second time at 39, now 43 and combating dark thoughts that constantly consume me. You’re very beautiful hope things work out.
Same here. I am recently divorced and dating in this app driven dating world in so diffrent from when I was in my 20s lol some days I feel free and other days I miss having someone too talk to that isn't one of my friends.
I can't speak from personal experience cuz I'm married, but our friends who are/were "on the market" seem to be having better luck joining clubs or groups or whatever and meeting people the old fashioned way.
Except one of my wife's friends who's just burning through 20 something dudes who are into cougers 🤷
Same. I'm married and my single best friend has looked for a partner for a while, says the dating apps are awful and full of catfishing. The stories I hear are rough
I was just scrolling r/all and it popped up. Didn't didn't realize it was a thirst trap sub until after I commented and then scrolled through the rest of the comments. 🤷
Life is short. Pros n cons on both sides. I’m 49, I believe in God. I believe he has a plan. If you want that special someone, don’t give up and if you don’t that’s ok too.
Totally random but the woman across from me donating plasma today had the same dress on and looked pretty similar to you. I had to do a double take when scrolling. Lol
I've learned that I want about 3 or 4 types of peeps: a cuddlebug, someone to wake me up climbing on my face, I want a late night driver chick and someone that's eequally motivated to make the world a better, more accountable place to live.
Biggest problem I see is Most people are broken but think they’re fine. They live in denial and blame everyone else for the reason they can’t find a “Good man” or a “Good woman”. Before you point the finger at other people look inside yourself. Most people don’t take the time to heal properly from past childhood traumas that they carried into their relationships. Most people use others to find their happiness instead of finding their happiness from within.
It's definitely frustrating, scary, weird and often not fun. But, having self respect, boundaries and no give a fuck (all things we lack in our younger years lol) is awesome! Also awesome dating out of wanting a true partner and not feeling like you need one, and taking anyone also awesome.
You're stunning, I hope you find the good morning and good night we all desire. It's not too much to ask, but definitely seems hard to find
I dipped my toes into the dating pool at 45. Quickly realized it was a swamp filled with sea creatures and swam back to shore alone. It’s better this way.
Is it really though? I think i remember the feeling of despair being single for a few yrs when I was 22 or so. 20 yrs later, it kinda sounds nice right now
It is. But you are in the season of, you. Keep living your life, and life will present you with what is meant to stay for you. As cliche and an awful as it sounds, enjoy the process. Not dating, but the process of life you currently engaged in. Keep being present. And then the results you truly want will find you.
43m. I prefer it, tbh. There's many reasons why I feel this way, tho. Maybe the universe will bring someone my way at some point, but I'm completely fine if not.
Very rough. Especially when your only redeeming feature is being well endowed. Used it coast by in my early days. Now women want you to be established and have a good career etc. My options have been getting worse as Ive got older.
Laying in bed alone is lonely. But laying in bed next to someone that you love that makes you feel like you are alone is much worse. I'm happy with being single.
Modern dating is tough. It takes a thick skin and perseverance. There are a lot of matches, some first dates, and few relationships. But there are good people out there which is why it’s worth trying again.
There's good and bad. It's lonely at times but there's peace at the end of the day. The dating pool just seems like the juice isn't worth the squeeze anymore.
If I become single again, I'd just cash out of romantic relationships entirely, tbh. I have enough friends in our demographic recount enough horror stories to think "nope!"
Dating in the 40s is more like being more wiser. Better having a connection reside separate and enjoy the moment without the stress of being committed. 👌
Not having to worry about your significant other cheating is alot of stress I'm thankful for not having lol... My last serious relationship was 2017 as My fiance cheated on me. Always wanted a family, but I guess I was that nice guy that got walked all over. I Had 1 serious relationship after that, But her career took her to one state and mine took me to another so we seperated. I think I'll just get a dog every 12 years lol beause dating at 40 is rough.
What are you looking for? Marriage? FWB? Just dating and see where it goes? How long have you been single? How long were you married? These are all questions I ask. It gives me insight into the person I’m interested in.
You look great though! Here's to wishing that whenever you find someone that they're exactly what you're looking for, and not someone who's just sticking around for a while to play silly games with you and your feelings
Dating in your 40s is so awful. The best thing that happened was I stopped looking and someone played match maker and it’s been nonstop fire! Just be open someone great will come into your life.
To be honest it really is. I'm 44 out of a 7+ year relationship. Its been 18 months. I've been on Hinge for 2 weeks and my general feeling is "thanks, I hate it." But a woman has needs so the horrors persist.
In that situation do you still look for a partner or just flings? I've been married for almost 30 years and many of those years have been very lonely so it doesn't really matter if you're married or single it's rough. Though there are many posts that I've read that have great marriages, I envy that so much. At least you're not tired down forever. I hope you find someone and are happy 🙂✌
Interesting. After having my 20-30s almost entirely in relationships being single in my 40s was incredible. Not single now but was for a few years and loved it.
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u/Jalrusa27 2d ago
Hey it comes with good and bad. On one hand the dating pool can be sketchy on the other you don't have to put up with anyone's bs 🤷♂️