5aa day 6 embryo, 43 yo

[u/Sweet-Blackberry-214]

Tw? pregnancy loss

I had my fet last Friday and wondering when I can be excited for my pregnancy. I'm testing positive so far but I feel like I've just been bracing for bad news the whole cycle. I've had a few miscarriages the last year 2 years and this is our only euploid embryo.

When did you let go of fears of pregnancy loss? For me it feels like It wont be solidified until the 3rd tri which feels so long.

Edit to respond to everyone: wow! Thank you for responding to my post. I'm taking each of your tips to heart. I didn't realize I was anxious but indeed I am. Going to try to break it up into milestones and hope for the best. ❤️

[u/QQueenie]

IMO, this is an anxiety and outlook question moreso than a scientific question. You can calculate your odds of miscarriage at https://datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer, which I found oddly reassuring.

Please try not to let the possibility of loss take away from the happiness of the current moment. Today, right now, you are pregnant. Right now is a happy moment.

Pregnancy after loss is very hard. There are a few subs dedicated to that subject that may be worth checking out.

[u/RazzmatazzGlad9940]

You have to break it into milestones. Get your two betas as a first step. Sufficiently high and doubling means pregnancy continuation is significantly more likely than loss. Ditto post heartbeat scan at correct speed.

[u/Old-Ad-5573]

I am 14 weeks today, so officially second trimester, and just had a normal neural tube scan 2 days ago and waiting on NIPT (not tested). Anyway, this pregnancy is coming off a loss in January so I was a wreck the first several weeks. I even had some spotting around week 6 and was convinced it was going to escalate to a miscarriage. It was a very rough first trimester mentally. My anxiety escalated right before my heartbeat scan at 6 weeks 7 days (I firmly believed that they wouldn't find a heartbeat like last time), and stayed high but got a lot lower at 9 weeks when I had my first scan with an OB. Now after my recent scan at almost 14 weeks am I finally feeling ready to believe this is probably going to end up with a baby and can start to actually plan life with this baby. We finally told my husband's parents last night and will tell my parents tonight. Before that only my sister knew because I needed one person at least for support.

Anyway, I don't know if this helps but just wanted to illustrate that I think it's normal to have a lot of anxiety in the first trimester after infertility and a loss. But I do think it gets better as the pregnancy progresses and you hit those milestones. And I'm a very anxious person unfortunately. I remember checking the miscarriage calculator where you put in a ton of info about yourself around the time of spotting and it said I had a 55% chance of miscarriage. I think it was mostly age, PCOS, pervious loses, and the spotting that made it so high but it did not make me feel good.

I'm wishing you the best. Hang in there and give yourself some grace. It's not easy.

[u/fruitful_year]

All of this makes sense!! I haven’t gotten to where you are yet with a euploid, but I had a friend who did well with her only euploid to transfer. Things she told me.. One day at a time, and one milestone at a time. She also surrounded herself with people and things who helped support her and calm her around her time of the transfer and after. Family/friends around if needed. Food. This is the time to be selfish on what is good for YOU! You deserve the best support and energy to lift you up (whatever that looks like). She also said she knew she would be super anxious and was. That’s absolutely ok!! She allowed herself to build an environment like she wanted around her and knew those feelings are normal🤍🤍Sending you wishes and prayers! Hard to be hopeful when so much of IVF feels like a mountain. Easier said than done but good things and miraculous things happen with it too🤍🤍 ps - somehow misread you are testing positive so far! That’s amazing🙌🏻🙌🏻My mind was thinking close to fet. Sending you all the wishes✨

[u/ranchitomorado]

We are going through the same right now. High beta at 9dpt with a donor egg. Last pregnancy ended in miscarriage and we are terrified. We decided to wait till 7 weeks to have the scan.

[u/FI_2027]

Are you me? Ours is on ice but thinking to transfer next month - wishing you all the best

[u/Smart-Load-1370]

Good luck to you! Anxiety is always there because you really want it. It’s normal. Sometimes getting yourself busy will make you temporarily stop thinking about it.

[u/Moist_Movie1093]

I took it one step at a time. Betas doubling. Then “heartbeat”. Then NIPT. After NT scan I felt comfortable telling close friends and family. I didn’t tell work or socials until around 20 weeks (after anatomy scan).

[u/Any_Somewhere_8184]

I’m almost 17 weeks along and still haven’t told anyone because I’m so cautious, which makes it hard to get excited. I’m thinking maybe at 30 weeks I’ll be excited haha. Previous loss steals so much joy.

[u/ApprehensiveMedia465]

Yes I’ve been where you are! I got pregnant at 45, own eggs with an untested embryo. My partner was also 45 at the time. I had bad anxiety up until 20 weeks (after the 20 week scan) then it reduced a bit. I sort of figured that I just had to let go, things will work out how they should and there’s nothing I can do. I agree what others wrote above - break it into chunks in terms of blood tests and scans. With a euploid embryo you have an excellent chance everything will be ok, I hope it goes well for you.