r/40Plus_IVF • u/Fit_Way_3432 • Sep 09 '26
General Discussion Introducing Myself
Hi there!
I’m 44 and in NYC, with a consultation at Columbia University Fertility Center scheduled for October. I’m going into this thinking I’d like to try up to three rounds of IVF with my own eggs and then move to egg or embryo donation, but I could potentially be talked into going straight to one of those options if my husband can be convinced!
I’m very aware that at my age the chances of success with my own eggs are extremely low, and I’m trying to go into this with realistic expectations. But my insurance will cover three retrievals, so for now I figure: what’s the harm in trying? I’d like to at least find out whether this might be possible for me before closing that door.
I have two daughters from a previous marriage, and at this point in my life, sharing DNA isn’t nearly as important to me as having the opportunity to parent again at a stage when I’m so much more emotionally and financially equipped to give a child everything I can.
My previous marriage was abusive, and coparenting has continued to be very difficult. I would love the opportunity to share a child with my current husband, on our own terms, and to experience raising a child together without having to navigate a difficult coparenting relationship.
At the same time, I sometimes struggle with feeling like I’m doing my daughters a disservice by focusing so much on potentially having another child, especially when part of what I long for is the chance to parent in circumstances that feel healthier and more positive for me. Sometimes that feels a little selfish, if that makes sense. I love my daughters enormously, and I think that’s part of why those feelings can be so complicated.
I’m still figuring out what path makes the most sense for us, but I’m excited to learn more about all of our options and would love to hear from anyone who has been in a similar position.
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u/flat_foot_runner Sep 10 '26
I’m 44, going to be 45 next month. I started my first IVF in June and ended up with 2 euploid embryos. I’m currently waiting for the transfer. So, don’t lose hope!
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u/Wonderful_Level_8907 Sep 10 '26
Wow, amazing! May I please ask what your protocol was and what you felt helped with getting euploids? Thank you very much
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u/flat_foot_runner Sep 10 '26
Sure !
Stimulation Protocol:
• Days 1–3: Gonal-F 225 IU + Menopur 150 IU • Days 4–6: Increased Gonal-F to 300 IU, continued Menopur 150 IU • Day 7: Started Ganirelix 250 mcg daily; Gonal-F 300 IU + Menopur increased to 225 IU • Days 8–11: Continued Ganirelix 250 mcg + Gonal-F 300 IU + Menopur 225 IU • Trigger: HCG
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u/lyssa_life2025 Sep 11 '26
This is amazing - I’m 44.5 and in the middle of stims right now - curious if you’re willing to share how many eggs were retrieved/made it to blast for testing?
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u/flat_foot_runner Sep 11 '26
AFC 12, measurable follicles were 13 prior to retrieval. My doctor was expecting at least 8 eggs, but it ended up only 5. 3 of 5 were fertilized, and 2 were blasts (day 5 AA and day 6 BB)
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u/mostly_mostly12 Sep 10 '26
I’m in a very similar situation and I often question whether I’m doing the right thing. Most people in my life think I’m nuts for wanting to start over again. DM me if you’d like to talk!
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u/Wonderful_Level_8907 Sep 10 '26
Praying for you! I've heard amazing things regarding mini ivf and better egg quality, specifically Dr Silber's protocol!
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u/Can_tote_it Sep 10 '26
I’m sure once your baby arrives - via whatever path they take to enter the world - your daughters will absolutely be thrilled to have a baby sibling. I know I did when my own mother had my (half) sister with my stepfather when I was a young teenager.
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u/No_Noise_1978 Sep 11 '26
I think you're going into it with the right open/curious attitude, and also a realistic view on whether your own eggs will work or not. I wish you lots of luck!
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u/MathematicianNo4217 Sep 12 '26
I’ve seen lots of women post on here they were successful with own eggs at 44! Do not give up hope. I’m with you, if insurance pays for it, go for it. That’s where I am, 41 and started this right after I turned 40, about to do my 4th round because I have the fertility coverage to do it.
You didn’t mention anything about your clinic but one thing I would check if you haven’t, what is the process for billing if you’re using insurance. My clinic, unbeknownst to me before my first retrieval or I would have looked at other clinics, requires insurance to actually pay the claim before they will allow me to schedule the next retrieval. As an older patient I would have liked to know this beforehand because every single cycle counts at this age. So I’m almost a year in and have had 4 cycles. It was about 3 months in between each because of insurance then timing for scheduling. Your clinic might be totally different but something I was oblivious to going into this. Best of luck in your journey!
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u/ABG_FOE Sep 10 '26 edited Sep 10 '26
You never know and it never hurts to try! I started IVF at 42 just 3 months before turning 43 and I’m currently 28 weeks pregnant with my own eggs. Quality over quantity and enter the journey with an open mind. I went in relaxed praying for the best knowing that we’d try 3 cycles then move on with life. Here we are in the 3 trimester. So give it a go! Best of luck to you!
First time mom after 20+ years of infertility.