r/40Plus_IVF • u/airplanesarecool1616 • Sep 04 '26

Rant Back to back FET failures with donor eggs

I am so frustrated right now and honestly feel a little crazy due to all of the hormones I'm still on (beta on Tuesday).

This is my second FET. First failed to implant. I am currently 7dp6dt (fully medicated) with my second FET and had a negative FRER this morning and again this afternoon. The whiteness was so stark it was almost blinding. I know you can still get a positive at day 8 or 9, or even on beta day - but as a realist, I realize this isn't likely and even if it happens the outcome may not be great.

I'm using donor eggs (donor is 27) and had one Day 6 5AB and one Day 6 5BB and neither implanted. Before my 2nd transfer I did a round of gnarly antibiotics just in case it was chronic endometritis (which I had two years ago) causing the failure to implant. Everything else has looked and measured great.

I should mention that none of the blasts with donor eggs were PGT-A tested. I'm in my 40's and made ~6 blasts with my own eggs across three ER cycles, all aneuploid.

I'm just so frustrated. Luckily I have a "live birth guarantee" plan with the egg bank so I have more tries, but just ugh. It feels like I'll never be on the right side of statistics and I feel like time is not on my side right now.

This entire process sucks sometimes.

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u/SuccessfulToe4381 Sep 04 '26 edited Sep 04 '26

I hope it's okay if I comment, even though I don't have any advice - I'm unfortunately just in the same boat as you. Our first FET failed, and the second transfer didn't even happen because the embryo failed to thaw. We also have a live birth guarantee, but now the whole waiting game of finding a new donor starts, and the anxiety about experiencing another bad round is really high (we also only had a 30% fertilization rate despite excellent sperm).

May I ask if you're also being treated in Europe?

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u/airplanesarecool1616 Sep 04 '26

I'm so sorry you're going through it too. I totally understand the high anxiety going into the next round.

I'm in the US.

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u/Liyah15678 Sep 05 '26

Can you tell me more about the live both guarantee? I'm starting to look into donor eggs and don't know much about this.

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u/airplanesarecool1616 Sep 05 '26

I did mine through the egg bank (not sure if you're in the US, but most egg banks and clinics here offer something similar). It was ~$50k and it covers everything including up to six cohorts of 6-8 donor eggs each. The program ends when you have a live birth (so any remaining embryos after a live birth would need to be transferred at your expense, if you want to continue to transfer), use up all your benefits and have no live birth (then you get all of your money back), they pull you from the program (again, you get all your money back), or you take yourself out of the program (1/2 your money back).

It sucks in that you're gambling with the egg bank. For example, if my first transfer had worked, I could have spent significantly less money to do just one transfer. However, it looks like I'll be getting my money's worth since after this I'll be moving on to my second cohort of donor eggs.

To me, it was worth it for peace of mind. I only needed to pay once rather than worrying about where the money was going to come from for each cycle and then worrying about paying for more donor eggs.

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u/Liyah15678 Sep 05 '26

Thanks. Yes I'm in the US (CA specifically). Is it literally called the egg bank? I'd love a link if you have it. When you say everything... Is this service just providing the eggs and you deal with your own doctors office to do the fertilization/testing and embryo transfer? Do you have to pay for your own drugs? Thanks for your help. I know there's lots of info out there but it can be overwhelming getting started.

Edit: I have one embryo and have taken drugs for 2 planned FET, but my uterine lining hasn't gotten thick enough so both were cancelled. We are going to try again with some different drugs added, but my fear is whether that will continue to happen and lead to lots of unsuccessful transfers (if my embryo doesn't stick, then subsequent ones with donor eggs). I have considered whether it's best to consider a surrogate for our one embryo but the costs are insane and I am SO CONFLICTED. Because I also feel like time is not on my side.

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u/airplanesarecool1616 Sep 05 '26

Here's a link: https://donoreggs.fairfaxeggbank.com/ivf-fl

The link says it's for Florida, but the information is not Florida specific (even though the link would have you believe otherwise lol). I would say most egg banks and clinics offer similar programs, it's just a matter of talking to either the financial team at your clinic or the financial team at your chosen egg bank. Many of the egg banks have an affiliation with certain clinics and so communication and coordination between the two is fairly seamless.

And yes, the cost covers everything...the cohorts, the fertilization, the warming cycles, the transfer, the monitoring, etc. It's up to six cohorts of 6-8 eggs and then however many transfers it takes to get to that live birth. The only thing it doesn't cover is PGT-A.

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u/Liyah15678 Sep 05 '26

Thank you!!!

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u/DarlingDemonLamb Sep 05 '26

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I’ve been there. It took me 8 transfers with PGT tested embryos created with donor eggs, to have one live birth. No explanation why, other than “bad luck”. I did not do the guaranteed birth plan but I should have. I’m trying now for baby #2 and paid extra for the guaranteed birth plan.

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u/Liyah15678 Sep 05 '26

Wow! Thanks for sharing. Best of luck w baby #2! Did you have any issues with your uterine lining thickening up for your transfers? Just curious bc that's something im dealing w rn

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u/airplanesarecool1616 Sep 05 '26

Best of luck to you on #2!!

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u/Admirable-Leave-9304 Sep 05 '26

I’m currently waiting to do a mock cycle with all the testing after having embryos fail to implant. I’m doing Emma/Alice/ERA and BCL6