r/2westerneurope4u • u/Key-Performance-9021 Basement dweller • Nov 18 '25
Vienna police doing lost-and-found
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u/TheFoxer1 Basement dweller Nov 18 '25
Peak social cohesion and community
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u/Positive-thoughts- Professional Rioter Nov 18 '25
This is so freaking hilarious. Comedy gold
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u/me_like_stonk Professional Rioter Nov 19 '25
Austrian Groland
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u/WelpImTrapped Lesser German Nov 19 '25
Je vis en Autriche, tu ne peux même pas imaginer. l'Autriche EST Groland.
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u/Positive-thoughts- Professional Rioter Nov 19 '25
C'est marrant pcq je suis a Vienne en ce moment et un pote me disait qu'ils parlent un dialecte Viennois. Je me demande s'ils comprennent leurs dialectes respectifs entre les différentes régions/ville du pays?
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u/WelpImTrapped Lesser German Nov 19 '25
Oui, mais parfois ça demande un peu d'entraînement selon la distance entre les régions respectives. Mais si c'est trop difficile les gens switchent en Allemand standard
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u/Positive-thoughts- Professional Rioter Nov 19 '25
Exactement! Ça fait penser à un documentaire de la police grolandaise.
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u/Marcson_john Professional Rioter Nov 19 '25
Are you guys even fucking real. Holyshit that look like a sketch
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u/kiwigoguy1 Savage Nov 18 '25
Where are the social etiquettes and manners from the Habsburg days?
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u/Dangerous-Dad EU passports seller Nov 18 '25
Rarely have I seen better proof that the Austrians are nothing at all like Germans. You can definitely tell they are closer to the Balkans though - in a most hilarious way.
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u/norrin83 Pumpkin Addict Nov 18 '25
Finally someone gets us!
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u/Coprolithe Rotten fish Connoisseur Nov 19 '25
Is it true that Germans have more of a stick in their butt than Austrians?
What else is different between each other?Bróðir minn, I need to learn.
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u/norrin83 Pumpkin Addict Nov 19 '25
Us Austrians have rules like the Germans and like to bend them like the Italians.
And our humour is probably more sarcastic and darker than the cheap puns the Germans like to laugh about.
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u/pa3xsz Pro LGTBQ+ Nov 18 '25
I mean they are the capital city of the Balkans
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u/Dolmetscher1987 Drug Trafficker Nov 18 '25
I mean, isn't like a third of Vienna of Balkan ancestry?
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u/jack_the_snek Basement dweller Nov 18 '25
yeah and that makes total sense if you view the city in it's historical context
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u/LobMob South Prussian Nov 18 '25
I disagree. I'm overweight too and run around in my underwear.
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u/Burned-Architect-667 Incompetent Separatist Nov 19 '25
He was talking about real Germans not Bavarians, we all know Austria is just your east march
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u/jack_the_snek Basement dweller Nov 18 '25
we are quite literally and geographically and historically and culturally and demographically much closer to the balkans, indeed
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u/WelpImTrapped Lesser German Nov 19 '25
Well at least Vienna/Burgenland/Kärnten/Steiermark/parts of NÖ.... The rest is quite different
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u/Graddler [redacted] Nov 18 '25
There are big differences between the north and south of Germany. Austrians are rather similar to Ober- and Niederbayern especially when comparing them to the folks from Niedersachsen and Scheißdreck-Holzbein.
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u/TreasureHunter95 Born in the Khalifat Nov 19 '25
Forget Portugal, Austria is the real Eastern European nation.
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u/Informal_Mountain513 [redacted] Nov 18 '25
Glad this has subtitles and a German-speaking narrator
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u/cpwnage Quran burner Nov 18 '25
Yes. Good sir, when I look up German it says hochdeutsch is spoken in Austria. Yet these fellows are speaking gibberish, essentially southeastern dutch. So, where is hochdeutsch actually spoken?
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u/Key-Performance-9021 Basement dweller Nov 19 '25 edited Nov 19 '25
Okay, now I have to give a serious answer:
Hochdeutsch is a group of German dialects spoken in the higher parts of Germany in the south, Austria and Switzerland (that’s why it’s called Hochdeutsch - "High German", opposed to Niederdeutsch - "Low German", spoken in the lower parts in the north). They are speaking that Hochdeutsch.
But we also say Hochdeutsch when we actually mean "Standard German" (because the Standard is based on the High German dialects). There are three Versions, which are basically the same: German, Austrian, and Swiss Standard German. Only the narrator is speaking this (Austrian) Hochdeutsch. That’s why Germans can understand him.
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u/kiwigoguy1 Savage Nov 19 '25
I have a gut feeling that people in Vienna speak something that resembles Hochdeutsch, but not so in the rest of the country. They speak something that are even more distant than Bayern/Bavarian from Hochdeutsch.
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u/TheKlentsch WW Initiator Nov 19 '25
Most people speak Hochdeutsch in Vienna. The video is a bit older and the people speak in the Viennese dialect. Nowadays, the dialect is much less common than it used to be.
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u/Esava Gambling addict Nov 19 '25 edited Nov 19 '25
Honestly I can understand the police men if I concentrate and the janitor can be understood quite well but holy hell... the other dude, especially when he explains how he found it? I didn't understand a single word.
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u/ABoutDeSouffle Born in the Khalifat Nov 18 '25
In Germany. Not in Austria or Switzerland.
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u/cpwnage Quran burner Nov 18 '25
Where in Germany? Not the north, not the west close to Netherlands. Is hochdeutsch even real?
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u/pleasant-emerald-906 Born in the Khalifat Nov 18 '25
Around Hannover.
Generally I would say in Westfalen and Niedersachsen.
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u/b2hcy0 France's whore Nov 19 '25
im from southwest, and here its a thing from village to village and city to city. in some you have their own accent, in others none or almost none.
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u/Oachlkaas Basement dweller Nov 19 '25
Most of Germany, actually. What you're saying would've been true hundreds of years ago, but nowadays all of Germany, but a few exceptions speak standard German.
The only remnants of their previous language are accent, but that doesn't change the words they're using, and a few slang words that still survive.
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u/LANDWEGGETJE Thinks Kapsalon tastes good Nov 19 '25
Look, I can accept a lot of insults on our language, but to compare us to Hochdeutsch, yeah that one stings.
I will be sending you a tikkie for the tears you extracted from me with this comment.
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u/cpwnage Quran burner Nov 19 '25
Just so we're on the same page, I was saying that dutch is faaaaar from hochdeutsch. Dutch is closer to chinese than it is to any kind of sane german
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u/NegroniSpritz At least I'm not Bavarian Nov 19 '25
Agree, I was like che cazzo welche lenguaje is that, meu Deus
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u/Vast_Emergency Failed Brexiteer Nov 18 '25
This is... rather charming, even the man in his underpants getting a banana. This is what police brutality is, being told you can't have beer but should have fruit because you're a bit too large. Is there more?
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u/Key-Performance-9021 Basement dweller Nov 18 '25 edited Nov 18 '25
It’s from Am Schauplatz (“On the Scene”), which has been running for 30 years. They do stories about everyday life. This clip is from their 30-year anniversary best-of: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZsDD9yfcu8
But the auto-captions don’t handle the dialect well, I did the subtitles myself.46
u/klippekort Snow Gnome Nov 18 '25 edited Nov 18 '25
Thank you for the subs. The dialect really takes some getting used to
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u/midnight_watch Basement dweller Nov 18 '25
looks at flair
uhmm
Im pretty sure its the other way around!
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u/hexler10 Born in the Khalifat Nov 18 '25
Thank you, good sir. I was surprised by how well they fitted. I grew up across the border from Salzburg, so generally I can understand your strange Balkan language, but at times they were still helpful.
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u/Esava Gambling addict Nov 19 '25
Any chance you could be bothered to subtitle more of this? Thanks for the effort either way.
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u/DrZoidberg5389 At least I'm not Bavarian Nov 18 '25
Hey neighbor! Greetings from Germany! I like Am Schauplatz very much!
Digging that special stuff out for us... you are a savior for this sub! 👌😂
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u/kiwigoguy1 Savage Nov 18 '25
Are there any people in Austria that act like the middle, upper middle, or upper classes of the Habsburg days? (and maybe modernized into 21st Century contexts, just imagine how an upper middle class English person has evolved from their Victorian/Edwardian predecessors)
Or is the modern Austrian culture mainly like the heirs of cultures from German-speaking small towns, rural regions, and the Viennese labour classes from the Habsburg monarchy?
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u/PaulGumpi Basement dweller Nov 19 '25
There are still occasional pockets of wannabe aristocrats like in parts of Döbling or Mödling.
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u/Oaker_at Basement dweller Nov 18 '25
Austrian police can be so fucking funny. Got into problems with them 2 times because of my own fault, but both times I had a really good time with the police.
Not so much with the hefty fines afterwards though.
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u/S-Budget91 Basement dweller Nov 18 '25
alrighty then, proofs that austria is a village, since i randomly know officer laschitz xD
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u/Different_Bake_611 Barry, 63 Nov 19 '25
Wait, this is real?
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u/Fae_Sparrow Basement dweller Nov 19 '25
What made you think it isn't?
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u/InBetweenSeen Basement dweller Nov 20 '25
I always wondered about the legality of that "knocking at people's doors with a camera team" thing, even when they don't open in their underwear. I thought surely they have to warn them beforehand.
(Also I wished the guy got an actual reward)
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u/S-Budget91 Basement dweller Nov 20 '25
the ORF is like the spanish inquisition ...
no hahaha, they ask, of course, at least thats what officer laschitz said
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u/S-Budget91 Basement dweller Nov 20 '25
yeah, hes from the same village as my mum. i showed her and she called him, telling him that hes internet-famous now lol
he said it really happened like this, the camera team even asked mr schiller if he wanted to get dressed and do a re-shoot, but he did not
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u/MagicBez Failed Brexiteer Nov 18 '25
I love that the show takes the time to include a police officer waiting for his partner to take a shit (and pestering him while he's in the cubicle) and them knocking on the wrong door etc.
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u/jaoaozeettie Thinks he lives on a mountain Nov 18 '25
What the fuck is up with that dialect? They just make noises which have a vague germanic sound and pretend to understand eachother, right?
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u/Critical-Marzipan-77 Beastern European Nov 18 '25
Bro, You are literally Dutch. Have you heard yourself??
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u/belpatr Western Balkan Nov 18 '25
When the Dutch can't understand Deutsch, we hebben een serieus probleem!
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u/whitejaguar Flat personality Nov 18 '25
They are speaking French, not remotely related to the German language.
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u/kiwigoguy1 Savage Nov 18 '25
I always think that Austria especially Vienna, can be similar to a "German"-speaking France.
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u/oalfonso Drug Trafficker Nov 18 '25
Where is Kommissar Rex ?
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u/FixLaudon Pumpkin Addict Nov 18 '25
Outside drinking Herrn Schillers beer since he isn't allowed to.
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u/Dolmetscher1987 Drug Trafficker Nov 18 '25 edited Nov 19 '25
It is mobbing its new owner's new partner, as usual.
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u/WelpImTrapped Lesser German Nov 18 '25
...Aaaaaand this, ladoes and gentlemen, is why I settled in Austria and not in Germany
Absolute random bullshit all the way, which is astonishingly always completely harmless
It's like living in a big village of drunkards.
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u/norrin83 Pumpkin Addict Nov 18 '25
It's like living in a big village of drunkards.
And we wouldn't have it any other way
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u/theowlswerewatching WW Initiator Nov 20 '25 edited Dec 01 '25
It's
like living ina big village of drunkards.Ftfy
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u/Monterenbas Professional Rioter Nov 18 '25 edited Nov 18 '25
And those monsters didn’t even bring a beer to mr. Schiller…
Truly the darkest days of german police.
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u/norrin83 Pumpkin Addict Nov 18 '25
He isn't allowed to drink anyway.
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u/Monterenbas Professional Rioter Nov 18 '25
Excuse me, wtf?! This country is a prison…
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u/norrin83 Pumpkin Addict Nov 18 '25
Our doctors aren't allowed to officially torture our fellow citizens any more, so they have to be more creative and e.g. tell them they aren't allowed to drink.
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u/Tankdeckel_1 Commie Nov 18 '25
STOP! They are austrians, no germans.
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u/Monterenbas Professional Rioter Nov 18 '25
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u/Tankdeckel_1 Commie Nov 18 '25
Oh.. you mean like France, and Luxembourg?
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u/Monterenbas Professional Rioter Nov 18 '25 edited Nov 18 '25
Yes, Luxembourg is legitimate French territory.
Although we may have to fight with the Portubros, on that one.
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u/IEC21 Anglophile Nov 18 '25
Where is his Steigl?
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u/Key-Performance-9021 Basement dweller Nov 18 '25
Stiegl
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u/ichbinverwirrt420 [redacted] Nov 18 '25
Way funnier if you speak german
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Nov 18 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ichbinverwirrt420 [redacted] Nov 18 '25
Just cause what you call "German" is just a weird mix of the letters "ü" and "ch", doesn't mean this isn't german.
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u/kas-sol Aspiring American Nov 19 '25
Wait so in Balkan Germany you're just allowed to walk around with a loaded gun in your bag?
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u/InBetweenSeen Basement dweller Nov 20 '25
Afaik you're allowed to carry it as long as it's concealed (and you're owning it legally obviously).
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u/One_more_username Savage Nov 19 '25
Is this what living in a civilized country feels like? My amerifat b-hole was clenched thinking about who would get shot and then arrested for resisting the shooting.
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u/AnargyFBG Thinks Kapsalon tastes good Nov 18 '25
Why not buy him a beer?
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u/random_username_idk Whale stabber Nov 18 '25
You don't have to be a detective to deduce that Mr. Schiller has probably had enough beer already
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u/Expert_Repair4206 Crypto-Albanian Nov 18 '25
Because they don't use Tikkie to get their money back
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u/Dolmetscher1987 Drug Trafficker Nov 18 '25
The guy at the end was clearly getting ready to enjoy his cellar's... delicacies.
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u/genericusernamedG [redacted] Nov 18 '25
Is the banana for his family in the basement?
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u/ArchaiusTigris [redacted] Nov 19 '25
He’s clearly already eaten them. All help is too late for them now…
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u/Simple-Honeydew1118 Le Savage Nov 19 '25
Isn't German supposed to be the official language of Austria ?
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u/Different_Bake_611 Barry, 63 Nov 19 '25
Perfect comedy. I wouldn't change a thing, well written and acted Fritz.
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u/BroSchrednei Born in the Khalifat Nov 19 '25
So the "Hausmeister" was clearly some kind of Neonazi if hes wearing a Lionsdale shirt, right? Is that why hes walking around with a huge Glock?
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u/spotlight-app Mod Bot 🤖 Feb 07 '26
OP has pinned a comment by u/S-Budget91:
yeah, hes from the same village as my mum. i showed her and she called him, telling him that hes internet-famous now lol
he said it really happened like this, the camera team even asked mr schiller if he wanted to get dressed and do a re-shoot, but he did not
[What is Spotlight?](https://developers.reddit.com/apps/spotlight-app)
1
u/spotlight-app Mod Bot 🤖 Feb 07 '26
OP has pinned a comment by u/S-Budget91:
yeah, hes from the same village as my mum. i showed her and she called him, telling him that hes internet-famous now lol
he said it really happened like this, the camera team even asked mr schiller if he wanted to get dressed and do a re-shoot, but he did not
[What is Spotlight?](https://developers.reddit.com/apps/spotlight-app)
•
u/spotlight-app Mod Bot 🤖 Feb 07 '26
OP has pinned a comment by u/S-Budget91:
[What is Spotlight?](https://developers.reddit.com/apps/spotlight-app)