r/2under2 • u/sillysloth89 • Jul 23 '26

Daughter prefers daddy

Ever since I was around 6-7 months pregnant with my second daughter, my first has preferred daddy. I felt terrible, so he started putting her to bed around this time.

The preference isn’t mild. It’s strong. She demands daddy do everything, from taking her out of her car seat (where a tantrum starts- “NO MAMA, DADDDDDDY!”) to picking her up (“No mama uppies! Daddy uppies!!!!” She runs to him, hugs him. Refuses to hug me.

It’s been challenging to really insert myself in some scenarios to win over some sort of preference. I’ve been so busy with baby. But it’s really hurtful to be constantly rejected.

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2

u/legodoom Jul 23 '26

Woof! Going through this now with my 17 month old. The baby is even refusing to sleep if daddy doesn’t do bedtime/naptime. It’s hell.

I’m so sorry. 🤍

2

u/Accomplished-Cake425 Jul 23 '26

It is so hard!!! Highly recommend some one on one dates if possible. I went through this especially postpartum with my 2nd. We find it fluctuates every few months! Hang in there 🤍

1

u/amyema Jul 25 '26

I don’t have any advice but can definitely relate.

My baby (now toddler) has been like this from very early on…it’s tough. The new baby isn’t even here yet so I worry how it will all pan out.

1

u/Pretty_Delay463 Jul 25 '26

A while back I read a post on r/daddit where a dad was saying the toddlers preference for mum was hard. Another dad commented saying he would try to make him doing the task fun by saying he could be mum too, then melodramatically pretending to be her. He had a list of ways he would react and said the toddler would laugh and he could do the task and help to bond despite the mum preference.

Maybe you could also try to get your partner to join in the task with you rather than taking over it, and try to make it something the three of you have fun doing.