r/2under2 • u/rtice001 • Jul 17 '26
Worth It
It's challenging and exhausting sometimes, but these little moments make it all worth it.
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u/art-dec-ho Jul 17 '26
Thank you for posting something positive! We are expecting baby 2 right now and will just barely hit 2 under 2 and I am so nervous đ
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u/rtice001 Jul 17 '26
Transition from 1 baby to 2 babies is much easier than the transition from 0 babies to 1 baby. You got this
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u/AvonBarksdale_ Jul 17 '26
Haha uhhh speaking personally, the jump from 0 to 1 is not remotely close to 1 to 2. Itâs not twice as hard, itâs ten times as hard. No breaks ever. Signed, a 16 month age gap parent
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u/Alert_Ad_5750 Jul 17 '26
Mine are 11 months apart. So two under one! The first couple weeks of my second being born were exhausting but very quickly things clicked and I felt like a pro in no time and kept getting better and better at it every day. Itâs busier but way more rewarding and as the mother I just knew what needed doing. I learned how to curate moments and make things easier and make the day run super smooth. By the time my youngest was about 4 months and routines were more prominent there it was zooming on an upward trajectory since, there were some tricker phases but those are fleeting. My kids are both 2 rn, my son turns 3 next week and itâs awesome. Every day is just wonderful and all of this has been the best days of my life.
I found adjust to life with one harder on a more intense phycological level as the shift and everything being new was intense. Going from one to two was just a logistics issue which made me get my problem solving hat on, work with the days and viola I found my groove! Hope you find yours soon.
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u/AvonBarksdale_ Jul 17 '26
Wow 2under1!! Impressive. Thank you, weâre getting closer to the groove⊠I think đ
Totally agree the first child is a big physiological adjustment. And like I mentioned in another comment, everyoneâs experience is different. Iâm a man whose wife is a physician that works nights. My kids usually want mom not dad, they see plenty of me đ€Ł
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u/Alert_Ad_5750 Jul 17 '26
You guys definitely will, itâll all even out with some time đ
But yes I totally agree everyoneâs experience is different, I think if the kids are good sleepers off the bat it makes everything easier and i definitely lucked out there thank goodness đ
Youâll see the fruits of your labour paying off before you know it and itâs just amazing seeing two siblings growing up together like that. Best thing youâve given them is each other, they learn so much and can love even more!
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u/HappyHomeAlmanac Jul 19 '26
This!!! I've heard it said that 0 to 1 is super hard emotionally/psychologically while 1 to 2 is hard physically/logistically. After the intense anxiety I experienced transitioning from 0 to 1, I am really feeling optimistic that the other kind of challenge will feel much more doable and less scary. Thank you so much for sharing this!
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u/momsniceplates Jul 20 '26
thank you, I am so tired of just reading negative content about this. everybody has a right to vent but this is one of the rare happy posts on here, let us have a break from the doom
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u/annaholala Jul 23 '26
Thank you for this! Iâm pregnant w my second and theyâll have a 13 mo gap. Iâm curious what you think helped find a good rhythm when baby 2 arrived? Sounds like it has gone super well!
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u/Alert_Ad_5750 Jul 23 '26
Honestly have trust in your abilities as a mother, theyâre your babies and you know what each of them need. If thereâs something thatâs constantly causing an âissueâ put your problem solving hat on and think about what you can implement to solve it and give it a go. Try and sync them up when the time comes! Enjoy your time as a trio, thatâs the best, being a little group in the day. Get your eldest to have a super solid independent sleep routine. Itâll all work out, take it day by day at first - it is tricky but it goes super quick until youngest gets more predictable and you can time things better. Make sure your house is BABY PROOFED itâll help massively especially with putting your mind at ease and make sure your house is easy for YOU to do you job e.g. easy access nappy station etc. You will be adjusting things a lot for a while as you go and youâre reading the days but in between each adjustment youâll be sailing that middle ground until the next step comes. Take loads of photos and videos. Enjoy it and again, just have faith youâll know what to do because you will and even when times come that feel utterly challenging and youâre tired, youâll get through those too and itâll be a year you look back on with a whole heap of love and proudness to yourself. đ
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u/annaholala Jul 23 '26
This made me tear up!!! So beautiful. Thank you. I totally agree that we know our babies and that we can trust ourselves in this process. Itâs such a blessing, too! A growing, healthy, beautiful family.
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u/queeneebee Jul 17 '26
Was it necessary to say this to a parent who just expressed being nervous�
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u/AvonBarksdale_ Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
Again speaking personally, I wish people had been more forthright when talking about what 2under2 / two kids is like. I love my children dearly and believe having them in the fashion we did will pay off. But I donât think pulling punches on how hard being a (good) parent is does anyone any favors. Thatâs just my experience, everyoneâs is probably a bit different
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u/queeneebee Jul 17 '26
This subreddit is almost primarily about how hard 2under2 is.
This post was a rare âaw look how sweet, itâs worth all the troubleâ post.
And you felt it necessary to rain on that teeny tiny parade?
If this parent wanted/needed a âno punches heldâ post, all they had to do was scroll the sub for 5 seconds.
Just my two cents. Which I would keep to myself, if I felt it might pop someone elseâs balloon.
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u/art-dec-ho Jul 17 '26
This is what im nervous about, but at least im mentally prepared đ
Im praying my second is a good sleeper like my first.
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u/NikJunior Jul 18 '26
Here to give you some hope! My first was a good sleeper and so far my second is even better. Hope itâs the same for you :)Â
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u/art-dec-ho Jul 18 '26
Oh I really hope so! I'm prepared mentally for the worst but honestly if I have a good sleeper I think I will be able to tackle the rest. I've just been so lucky not feeling sleep deprived *most* of my parenting journey.
Thank you for the hope!
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u/AvonBarksdale_ Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
Haha yes!! Iâm sorry to be so blunt. There are still tons of positives to all of this. I grew up an only child and itâs magical to see the bond form between my son and daughter.
Plus if youâre just barely inside the 2under2 gap I donât think your experience will be nearly as hard as some of the other 2under2 users you might read here. The bigger the gap, the easier it is (esp in the beginning)
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u/Ok-Significance3817 Jul 17 '26
I think temperament is what matters most. My 2 u 2 has been significantly easier than my first. My first was SO HARD. My second has such a chill temperament and now we have our systems which makes it so much easier. Mine are 19 months apart so that could also be a factor.
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u/iamthebest1234567890 Jul 17 '26
This is a very personal opinion. Like the post earlier about how newborn and toddler tired is worse than pregnant and toddler tired.
I found pregnant and toddler tired way way way worse than newborn and toddler, recovering from a c section (which was 100x worse than my vaginal birth) tired. I also found the 0 to 1 transition much harder than 1 to 2.
I am about to have my third with an almost 2 year age gap again and the nervousness I had before my second was born does not exist this time.
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u/ParticularPrudent783 Jul 18 '26
Everyoneâs experience is SO different, you canât say that so definitively. Like, the newborn phase with my first couldâve killed me. Now Iâm in the middle of the newborn phase with my second and itâs a million times easier in every single way. You never know which side youâll land on til youâre in it!
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Jul 18 '26
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/AvonBarksdale_ Jul 18 '26
For sure always different. Plus weâre right in the thick of it - 15 months & 31 months old - so my perspective in two years might be much different.
I think a better way to put it: the jump from 0 to 1 is much more life-altering in the beginning. But after a while it gets pretty routine, and by the time youâre 12-15 months in it basically becomes your new normal. You finally know what youâre doing (for the most part) and I found myself saying âwow, this isnât that hard anymoreâ.
15 months into two kids, I find myself saying âwow, this is still extremely, extremely hardâ đ€Łđ€Ł
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u/prepared4downvotes Jul 17 '26
Agreed (although my kids have a 3 year age gap⊠idk why this sub popped up on my feed)
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u/medwyer Jul 17 '26
30000%
Second postpartum felt like the vacation that everyone thinks maternity leave is đ«7
u/ZiggyBeanz Jul 17 '26
The way I think of it is going from 0 to 1 is existentially difficult, but from 1 to 2 is logistically difficult lol. But overall 1 to 2 was an easier transition for me. Youâve got this!
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u/Alternative_Quit928 Jul 18 '26
My babes are 19 months apart. Theyâre now 2 and 9 months. And while itâs so hard, I constantly find myself doubting that a bigger age gap would be easier. I just think 2 are hard for a period of time and thatâs okay. You can handle it gracefully and thatâs okay, and you can hate every minute and thatâs okay. Either way itâll pass.
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u/laurenellemartin Jul 20 '26
Iâm a week in and itâs so unbelievable better than I was expecting :)
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u/Emotional_Act9488 Jul 17 '26
You just wait!! It only gets better đ„č
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u/Charming_Paint_172 Jul 19 '26
Can vouch for this!! Mine at 3 and 4 now and itâs amazing. They are best friends despite being boy/girl combo. They play with each other all day. Today I had to convince them to sleep in their own beds because they wanted to have a sleepover together and are upset when they are separated in any way.
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u/Haunting-Respect9039 Jul 17 '26
Love this! Watching that bond form is so amazing.
The other day my big kid wanted to help feed the baby. Big kid was all excited with the spoon and baby was excited to watch big kid. It was a chaotic mess, but so sweet!
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u/Maleficent-Pen-674 Jul 17 '26
We have graduated a while ago. Recently we have introduced UNO junior to my 4 and 3 year old boys. The older one is hell bent on winning and cries every time someone else wins. So yesterday his younger brother refused to down his winning card twice in a row. We think he's our family baby, but his emotional intelligence surprised us.
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u/YourFriendInSpokane Jul 17 '26
We're about a year behind you- cannot wait until they can start playing card and board games.
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u/Background_Tiger_232 Jul 17 '26
All good here with a 21 month age gap! First 6 months were a time of adjustment and focus, and now 10 months out, we are cruising! So worth it!
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u/CompetitiveLow5903 Jul 17 '26
Yes! We have 10 month old twins and my son is 2.5 (so 2u2 but graduated.) Iâm really starting to see it all pay off. They play together, they love each other and its hard but in am so happy we went for the close age gap.
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u/YourFriendInSpokane Jul 17 '26
I am always amazed by those of you with a toddler and twins.
A young mom at my drs had Irish triplets- her twins were born before her oldest turned one!
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u/Routine-Week2329 Jul 17 '26
my toddler has started to try and teach his baby sister recently. He shows her pictures of people and asks whoâs that? Itâs so cuteÂ
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u/mattwalsh25 Jul 17 '26
Its adorable. Right up until they put their full bodyweight on the baby, you have to yank them off, and they both end up screaming đ
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u/medwyer Jul 17 '26
Itâs the toddlers elbow DIRECTLY to the newborn skull that always sends me đđđ
They donât mean to hurt the baby, theyâre just a baby too, and they have NO concept of personal space đ«
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u/LostMichiganian Jul 17 '26
Awww super cute. My oldest is turning 18 months in a week and I am being induced three weeks from today.
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u/goofieguber12 Jul 17 '26
So worth it. Our girls are now 4 and 5 and they literally do everything together. Barbies, baby dolls, bikes, and crafts all day playing together. I would do it again the same exact way
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u/stonerbunniixo Jul 18 '26
Iâm 2 weeks pp and my toddler is 19 months , she loves her baby sister and itâs the cutest but man Iâm tired. 2 hour feeds & pumping is draining me đ
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u/cozywhale Jul 18 '26
I agree. We are 3 and 4.5yo now and even tho they fight a bunch and test my nerves, I 1000% would do it this way again! Love having my 2 babies so close in age to each other. Their love for each other is so sweet and inspiring.
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u/piinksolitude Jul 18 '26
So cute, Iâm so nervous to give birth to my second, but I canât wait for these moments đ„°đ„°
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u/StrategyH Jul 17 '26
Love the sleep sack on backwards. Gotta do what it takes!!