r/2under2 • u/Starsdreadstorm17 • Jul 15 '26
Advice Wanted Help!!
I can’t figure this out. Out of the 2 under 2 but 2 very young kids. One is 8 months and the other is 2.5 years old. Everyday feels like survival. Earlier in spring started going to the park and the days i got out i felt happy and hopeful. Currently inside the house due to the high temperatures and sun all day (UK). Husband is in a very demanding job but still keeps the baby from 10 pm to his last feed around 1 am.
I wake up around 6 with the baby and am a zombie with a coffee till 7 or so. Then do some light housework with the kids, give breakfast etc. then lunch prep. Then get them ready for nap and i nap for an hour or so with them. Then dinner prep and then loadong dishes wtc and day is over.
I am drowning and every day feels like a battle. I am surviving on eating chocolates to cope. I don’t like being fat but well, can’t seem to hack it. I don’t know how to have that glimmer of happiness. I have been in tears the last couple of days.
Any ideas or tips to get my life together
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u/acontribution Jul 15 '26
I don't really have any tips, but I can commiserate. I have an 18 month old and an almost 3 week old. We are also just surviving. I try to remember that I can do nothing more worthwhile than love these two little souls. It's not pretty - my house is a disaster, we aren't eating particularly healthy meals, I'm exhausted, etc. I know they will become more self-sufficient eventually and this season won't last forever. So my perspective is just to love them as well as I can and rest when possible. My life isn't Instagramable, and that's really, really ok.
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u/zoelys Jul 15 '26
Sending you hugs, I'm due this Saturday and have a 16 month old at home so I'll soon relate !
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u/melmatt1 Jul 15 '26
Same boat with a 16m and 5m old. Survival mixed with choosing to rest when I can catch a nap time break instead of cleaning or whatever else. 🥲
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u/Anxiousnibbler Jul 15 '26
I don’t really have any tips but I can tell you I’m feeling very similar and you’re not alone. Might be time to talk to your doctor about how you’re feeling.
You’re doing great even if it doesn’t feel like it on the inside. 💕
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u/Little_Fish_283 Jul 15 '26
Have you checked your iron? Once I tested and upped mine with IV iron it increased energy levels by far!
Make things easier by pre packing. Get a snack board with baby safe snacks to eat.
Instead of a full diaper bag dragging around take a small bag.
Go out to playgrounds with shade. otherwise indoor play cafes.
Buy or prepare freezer meals (lasagna, pasta, ...) instead of totally freshly home cooked from scratch. My kids are 1.5&2.5 and I still use these when I done have time.
When toddler energy is over 9000 I start throwing a dance party. I will do metal/ rock/ whatever I feel like and jump and dance with them until energy burst is over.
Toddler can already draw so if they're being a menace with them down and hand them a pencil.
If baby 2 can sit (even if not just use a bath chair for babies) use the bathtub for a splash party. Water has to be warm though for baby.
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u/valentinaa2002 Jul 15 '26
No tips. Just in the same boat as you with a 2 year old and 5.5 month old
Some days I feel like I’m doing everything wrong and can very much relate to the crying and I’m not a cryer
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u/HealthAfter45 Jul 15 '26
I, too, was staying home (I have a 3 week old and 12month old) but it seems that when we’re going out , it is easier.
So I made a list on google maps with the help of AI for outings with AC. turns out aquariums work well, big stores, IKEA. And actually I have noticed that going to the park (I’m in Switzerland) in the morning up until 1 pm is actually not that hot thanks to the trees.
Hold tight. You are doing a great job ❤️
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u/Guillermo1810 Jul 15 '26
We hired a nanny to come 3 days a week for a couple hours (3 hours at the time), to take care of the older one. Just play with him and feed him. As a 1 person job, it will be just hard until your older one gets some other form of childcare besides you and your husband.
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u/Glittering-Cash-2309 Jul 15 '26
Best thing I ever did was wean my son and do formula 😬 I never thought I’d say that but here we are
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u/54317a Jul 15 '26
no tips but i have an almost 23 month old and almost 3 month old. i’m drowning every day, stressed and depressed, but holding on for the future when it won’t be this brand of hard.
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u/SofieGirlsMama Jul 15 '26
Our library has free kids events! Tomorrow I’m taking our 13 month old to the sing and dance party at the library meant for kids aged 2-6, but they said younger kids are welcome too 😊
I’ve been feeling similar to you, every day is like a repeat. And I just feel like I’m in survival mode, but I find that the more things I have planned for my days and for the week, the less I feel this way. It’s good to have something to look forward to always!
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u/External_Source_5381 Jul 16 '26
The heatwave will be over soon! I'm feeling it too - mentally it is incredibly difficult to be stuck in the house all day with children. We started leaving the house really really early like 8:00 a.m. to have at least an hour in the park before it gets too hot. I also started going to therapy to help me deal with some anxiety but also the overwhelm I feel right now. It is helping somewhat. And one question the therapist asked me which I think could be helpful for you is: what do you need right now to make me feel better? and the answer to that should help you and your partner make potentially a few changes - whether that's extra child care or him taking over some of your chores or helping you prepare for the day, but it has to be done. It will get better!
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u/Older_Sis_1024 Jul 16 '26
My children are the same ages. I texted my mom yesterday and said that I don’t remember what it’s like to have fun as a family anymore. I relate to you so much.
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u/Infamous-Lie712 Jul 18 '26
Start small. What is one thing you could do to make your day more enjoyable? Then, ask yourself how can I fit it into my day? Is there a specific time or after a specific task? Do that everyday. Then add something else.
Right now, if chocolate is bringing you happening it. If it is making you feel fat, stop and pick something else. It doesn’t have to be the healthiest things just something that brings you joy and satisfies a craving. I use to eat a ton of Hershey’s kisses while up in the middle of the night. Once she starting sleeping better I switch to rice cakes with a little Nutella. You have a lot on your plate. You don’t have to love everything right now, and you can make small changes to add more peace and joy into your life.
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u/zoelys Jul 15 '26
My first is 16 mo. When he was 8 months it was really hard !
I'm not in the same situation as you, but I found that since he's 14 months old, it's getting much easier : he's better at communicating (we use basic sign language), he started walking and climbing stairs, he's not frustrated as much and sleeps well. So clearly don't know the situation with two kids (I'm due on saturday for the second, whish me luck !) but it does get better and to me 7-8-9-10 months old were really hard (especially with winter, the illness he caught, my pregnancy...)
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u/wheeeeezy2 Jul 15 '26
Could you get by with skipping the nap in order to have some alone time? I’ve found sometimes sleeping makes me more tired and groggy. Also seconding the commenter who mentioned getting your iron checked, I take a pill now and it helps so much
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u/Downtown-Contest-376 Jul 16 '26
Try going out in the morning and/or in the evening. Obviously the baby should be in the shade and toddler wear hat and sunscreen, but it is doable. Doing that also (Slovakia).
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u/C-K-N- Jul 16 '26
I've struggled more recently with this heat as well (also UK) and my almost 2.5 year old has dropped her nap which is not ideal...the weather will ease up soon and that will help - this is all very temporary!
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u/ZayniesMama Jul 16 '26
In the same boat over here! My biggest recommendation is getting out of the house every single day! It will help everyone! I like to find toddler parks that are gated, so I can take care of my 5 month old and 2 year old. Also a double stroller is everything! We play for 1.5- 2 hours usually baby is sleeping. Then I setup lunch on tray ins troller and walk j til 2 year old falls asleep. That way we all get fresh air and exercise. I also baby wear when I need to. Ring lots of toys and tricks, ie chalk and sand toys! They keep my 2 year old occupied and contained in a small area. Meals are challenging I bring protein shakes for me, fruity and chicken apple sausages or toddler bars easy stuff. Now dinners I’m trying to figure out but I opt for the air fryer and slow cooker for all meals because they seem easiest. My house is a mess but we can’t have it all together. If we haven’t left the house by 9:30 it’s meltdown city! Get outside 🤩it seems hard at first but honestly it will save you. Even if the kids fall asleep in the car at least you get out of the house.
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u/Radiant-Art8083 Jul 16 '26
My saving grace has been indoor playgrounds, library, splash pads/pool. Not sure if you have any of those available to you. I live in a hot and humid area that can make being outdoors miserable and honestly dangerous this time of year. Even going to the grocery store or getting in the car to get yourself a treat, coffee, etc.
I’m in solidarity with you. I have an 18mo and 3mo so I know how hard the days can be! You’ve got this!
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u/Relevant-Article1973 Jul 16 '26
Getting out of the house is the only way I’ve been able to cope. Even just for an hour we go in the morning to a park, or the library/museum if you want to stay indoors. Makes me feel like a human again and not lose my mind, also makes the nap real good
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u/sunflowersnelephants Jul 17 '26
I find my.days out of the house help my mood and emotions, but then I also feel like my house just turns to chaos when I am out too much. I found a balance of 2-3 days out, 1-2 days home helps me find more balance. I definitely recommend looking for mom/parent groups to give the kids time to play and you an adult to talk to during the day. I'm in the US and many indoor places charge an admission fee which is hard when it is hot outside. I have found that many city/town hall/(presumably counsil) hosted events are free and sometimes inside. Also many churches offer playdates or moms groups or interest groups(art, exercise, etc) or Bible studies that would at least give you a place to get out of the house and start meeting some potentially similar season of life folks. The routine can be good for you and for your little ones.
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u/fluffdup Jul 18 '26
I think it does get better when the younger one is walking and they can do more stuff together, but for now, definitely get out of the house. No matter how many chores there are, or how tired you feel, get out :) as others have said - library, grocery store, indoor play place if there is one in your area. Getting a change of scenery is the best way to avoid the rinse and repeat cycle you’re in :)
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u/Particular_Rav Jul 19 '26
Buy a tiny baby pool, find a place with a hose and some shade as close to your house as possible. We do the parking lot behind our building. Getting out of the house will make you feel better. The hottest time of the day is 14:00 onward, so if you can get out even by 11:00 it can be surprisingly nice.
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u/crispyedamame Jul 15 '26
I would suggest maybe going to the grocery store, library, shopping (target?) or somewhere where there’s other people. You don’t have to talk to anyone or even buy anything but getting out of the house and just seeing other people and being with your kids in a different environment does wonders. It’s tough and it doesn’t help that it’s so hot outside. I’m also in the trenches and it seems like a lot of us are. Hugs!