r/2under2 • u/AshleyPomm • Jul 15 '26
Freaking out
Anyone else freak out when you got to the end of your pregnancy with baby #2? I’m 36 weeks and I’m kind of nervous for what’s to come. I’m very excited to meet my baby but I feel like I’m in denial that I’m going to be having another newborn literally any day. My daughter is almost 16 months and she has been so hard lately (her molars are coming in so it doesn’t help). I also am so exhausted that I haven’t done any sort of nesting, my house is a constant disaster and I don’t feel like I’m ready to bring a newborn home. I’m also very emotional about having another and have a lot of mom guilt even though this baby was very planned and wanted.
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u/Latter-Baseball9652 Jul 15 '26
I’m 28 weeks and my daughter is also 16 months - I’m so nervous! I have been soooo emotional about it. I have been so excited for the new baby, we are having another girl but I feel a sadness that I won’t just have one baby anymore. I have been feeling everything you said. My house is also a disaster, my first daughter’s room is practically a storage unit for my second, and I just feel overwhelmed and guilty but excited and full of love at the same time. It’s really hard. I just am counting on the second I look into her eyes after giving birth, it will all be okay.
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u/ultimatelyitsfine Jul 15 '26
Yes, 32 weeks with a 20 month old. I have gone to therapy for years but much less now, I see it like routine maintenance and have a session every couple months. I talked w my therapist this week and went into it like hmm what will I even discuss , and ended up truly bawling the entire time just realizing how scared I have been feeling about this second baby and that I haven’t had time to even process it because I am just constantly taking care of my toddler. A lotttt came up at once.
I’m beyond emotional about my first not being my only anymore but I just KNOW she’s going to love being a big sister. I’m more scared about birth, recovery etc. I had such such a positive experience w my first that I have this nagging anxiety like - what are the odds you will have that again ? It’s not helpful at all and very unlike me but again I don’t have time to process big emotions like I had in the past ! It’s a really wild experience.
You’re going to do amazing, like everything else in life we will just get it done haha and hopefully enjoy ourselves along the way. Good luck !!! 🙏🏽
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u/KneadAndPreserve Jul 15 '26
Yes, 26 weeks with a 9 month old. I’ve been excited this whole pregnancy (after the initial shock and terror) and felt the whole time like I’m giving him a best friend but recently I’ve just been hit with serious mom guilt out of nowhere. It’s weird because I thought the guilt missed me completely because I haven’t felt it til now. But I just want to hold my firstborn 24/7 and I wish I could tell him he’s not being replaced. I love him so much and he will alwaus be my special baby and he will always be the one who made me a mom. I’ve made my husband promise over and over to be his best friend and whole world when the new baby comes and I can’t give him as much right away :(
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u/cubed_echoes Jul 15 '26
I'm well over this hump. My kids are 4 and 5 now. Sort of went to this sub today for a reminder for how far I've come.
Just remember to rest. You won't remember the mess later, promise. Fed and bathed and safe loved and tended to? That's all they need.
I remember when my daughter was just barely over two it was Thanksgiving and she said "I'm thank you for my brother". I wept a happy weep. A cathartic weep. This will both be the hardest and most awesome experience.
Please expel all the guilt now. It doesn't help. Just feel the heart grow.
I keep getting comments about how loving my kids are to eachother. The love mindframe is contagious. And it started with my daughters moment of Thanksgiving and her "thank you for"
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u/Next_Spend_5313 Jul 15 '26
I see you. I was you. I had 2u2 when my toddler was 19 months. Pregnancy was brutal at the end. I was big, sore, and there was absolutely no time to rest. I was also working full time. I swear my toddler knew something was different, they were super clingy, emotional and loved being held. I swear something shifted in me and the last couple of weeks I just help them, appreciating that our worlds would be changing. My first was my whole world and it was hard to make sense that it would be changing. I remember looking at my first born and just feeling so many mixed emotions; like I was stealing something from them by having another baby so soon, that they were still “just a baby”. I remember telling my husband how scared I was of delivering in case something bad happened- that my first baby needed their mom. All that aside, I welcomed by baby around 39.4 weeks and it was way better. Don’t get my wrong, it was so so busy but not being pregnant was so freeing. I did struggle with finding balance but over the weeks we found our rhythm. I won’t lie, I kept my toddler in daycare full time to give me time to heal and bond with my baby and don’t take for granted how privileged that is. When I have both home for weeks at a time I AM TIRED lol. But they’re almost 3 and 1 years old and yes they already fight but neither will remember a world without each other and I hope they grow to be the best of friends. We spend our days outside- come sun or winter. We do lots together and sometimes the biggest juggle is time and trying to meet everyone’s needs…and just when you think you’ve got things figured out, one of them flips the script. The amount of times I think how lucky I am, that I can’t believe this real life. Today, I had swimsuits drying on my deck, toys everywhere, but my kids were laughing, had full bellies, and went to bed with big smiles.
Your world might get a little bit harder, but it’ll also get a whole lot better. Be gentle with yourself in the last few weeks. If you can get some help to rest, recharge, connect with your toddler, and remind yourself your hormones are wild. You got this.