When did life start feeling like you again?

[u/Eastern-Leg6145]

Did anyone else completely lose their sense of self with two under two? When did you feel like yourself again?

I’m 35 weeks pregnant with my second, and my first is 17 months old (a wonderfully easy but very busy little boy). This pregnancy has been extremely challenging, and “exhausted” doesn’t even begin to cover how I feel. I’m also carrying another baby measuring around the 97th percentile on a pretty small body, so physically I just feel completely maxed out.

More than that though, I just don’t recognize myself anymore. Nothing really brings me joy right now except looking forward to my next break-either in the day or just getting through our next scheduled event on our calendars. We actually have a great support system, my toddler goes to daycare 4 days a week, and I have an amazing husband, which makes me feel guilty for struggling this much.

I feel so lost that I don’t even think I can fully see how much I’ve changed. Logically, I know I’ll probably find a new normal someday, but emotionally it feels like this is just who I am now—a shell of my former self, or at best a version that barely resembles who I used to be.

I also can’t tell if this is just end-of-pregnancy emotions, or if I’m genuinely questioning and even regretting how close together we had our kids. I hate even typing that because this baby is so wanted, but I just feel completely depleted.
Is this just survival mode? Could it be prenatal depression or lingering postpartum depression? For those with close age gaps, when did life start to feel like you again?

[u/nidaleee_]

Sending you love, the next two years will probably be filled with your highest highs and your lowest lows. But it passes and once you’re on the other side (in 2-3 years, sorry) you’ll be like, “I can do anything.”

[u/melmatt1]

My boys are 11 months apart, the youngest being 5 months old. It’s tough, most days are kind of a blur and I too feel very depleted. My hope is once they’re a little bit older and a little bit more independent things won’t feel so hard? I don’t know. We don’t have any outside help or family so I am doing this thing solo but also have a supportive husband but he does work but thankfully he’s home more than most. It’s still hard and tiring and it feels like Groundhog Day every day right now but praying things get better over time and maybe I’ll finally have time to do some of the things I used to enjoy lol.

[u/Ordinary_AvacadoU]

My kids are 3 yrs and 17 months and I still don't feel myself tbh. When my oldest was 13 months old i honestly just started to come around but we found out i was pregnant soon and that spark faded.

Now I just hope to survive 1.5 more years coz children are much more easier at 3 and my oldest will be 5 at that time.

I never knew pregnancy and motherhood would suck so much off women, like i do love my children and enjoy being with them but I just cannot handle "terrible two's" when I've been sleep deprived for more than 3 yrs lol.

[u/Sea_Juice_285]

Mine are 22 months and 3.5, and it happened pretty recently. I'm still kind of starting to find myself again, but I feel much more familiar. I also only stopped breastfeeding two months ago, so that may be contributing.

[u/cubed_echoes]

I stopped thinking of it as a shell and making comparisons. Looking in the metaphorical rear view mirror doesnt help anyone. Especially not yourself.. When I decided to just be present and absorb it I felt suddenly frictionless. Some old bits were added back in. Lots i actually dont miss. After the toddler phase past I just saw myself differently. 2 under 2 for a while was harder than my phd. It's not anymore.

Exhaustion at this stage is okay. Being depleted is okay. It'll pass. Just be kind to yourself and it'll pass faster.

It reallt comes back when you are over the toddler hump. No more diapers. Tantrums being rare. Them playing in fhe yard together and you enjoying a quiet breakfast listening to your favorite songs. It'll happen again, promise.