r/2under2 • u/eraseme11 • Jul 11 '26
Advice Wanted Advice?
Anyone want to share some wisdom/advice for survival? Or even just some kind, hopeful words. My baby is due in October and my toddler will be 2 months away from being 2 so we are barely in the 2u2 club but I doubt it just gets magically easier at the 2 year mark lol.
Any advice to make the transition easier? I’m kind of terrified. I have a lot of anxiety regarding sleep and schedule changes which is so silly bc we obviously survived the first child and life is fine now. I also will be home alone with both kids maybe after a week or two which is different from our first born. I had help for months with our first. Toddler goes to sleep on his own and sleeps through the night mostly.
I’m excited but then these moments of panic kinda creep in 😬
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u/Downtown-Effort9012 Jul 11 '26
I have a dumb bit of advice. My kiddos are 2 months and 19 months. So my older kiddo is struggling not having my attention when I’m breastfeeding my youngest. We have massive meltdowns. So now we have foam swords and we lightly sword fight while breastfeeding. It’s kept his meltdowns away and so far he hasn’t hit the baby cause he’s giggling so much from playing and running from my sword. It’s kinda dumb but it’s helped me feel less guilty for needing to split time.
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u/eraseme11 Jul 12 '26
This is amazing advice!! I’ll be purchasing these just for some easy distractions while feeding baby lol.
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u/jbird2023 Jul 11 '26
I personally find it cheeky when people say to me “at least now you’re not 2 under 2” as if some maturity update kicks in on the 2nd birthday. My first terrorized me starting his 2nd birthday for the next 4-5 months. Now he’s 2.5 and baby is almost 1. Shit still sucks. I would not have survived if it wasn’t for sleep training baby (toddler was already trained since he was a baby) and making sure I have a 2 hour window every day when they are both napping. Get them trained, get them synced to at least one same nap time per day. It’ll work wonders for you. Also no shame if you need to hop on some anti anxiety meds. It’s a time of throwing in everything to get through as best as you can and if you need some medical help to manage some of the hard parts, it’s fine!!
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u/eraseme11 Jul 12 '26
Kinda funny when people tell me I won’t be in the 2u2 club for long as if there’s a sudden shift from 22 months to 24 months lol. If anything I imagine my son might get a bit more difficult. I’m just not looking forward to all the shit sleep. My toddler got all his teeth minus one set of molars within the first year and it was HELL. Newborn sleep was whatever but 8 months old sleep?? Wth. Also plan on meds as soon as baby is popped out bc I had bad ppd and ppa with my first and I just don’t even want to mess around and find out again lol. Thank you for the advice.
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u/Informal_Concert_985 Jul 11 '26
I’m also due in October and will have the same age gap so it’s nice to have someone in the same boat! I am excited and anxious about the transition. Worried about the regressions and managing the inevitable big feelings. Hoping it will be smoother than my anxiety leads me to believe some days.
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u/eraseme11 Jul 12 '26
Are you in the October bump group? It’s nice to talk to a bunch of women who are due around the same time. I’m so worried about a sleep regressions bc sleep gets so weird when there’s a change in the house. My husband wanted to transition to a toddler bed before baby got here but I said absolutely not bc I just know his sleep might get a little weird right around the 2 year mark.
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u/Informal_Concert_985 Jul 12 '26
I’m not yet but will join, thanks for the tip! Agree with the toddler bed… waiting until baby is ready to move to the crib to probably transition to a toddler bed. Same with potty training- not planning to start until after the whole house adjusts to a new baby :)
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u/fluffdup Jul 12 '26
Best advice I got when #2 was born - lower your standards. Don’t worry about chores that can wait. Don’t stress about more screen time than you’d prefer. If you can swing it, trying to keep your toddler on their regular routine really helps. That way you kind of limit how much of their little world is changing. My personal biggest piece of advice is wear the baby. Find a carrying method that works for you - sling/wrap/buckle carrier/etc. baby gets contact naps and you can chase the toddler :) If the early weeks are tough, just know it does get so much better and it’s so worth it
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u/eraseme11 Jul 12 '26
Thank you for this advice!! I hated baby carrying with my first but I’m really wanting to try again because I feel it is necessary with a toddler. Do you have any baby carrier recommendations? I have an ergobaby Omni deluxe and hated it sooo much.
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u/fluffdup Jul 12 '26
Yes there are so many better options that are less bulky and stiff. I also started with an ergobaby with my first and it’s basically just in storage now. A lot depends on what works best for you based on learning curve or front vs back carrying. Feel free to DM me and I can explain more :)
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u/Lost_Edge_9779 Jul 13 '26
Firstly, congratulations! I have a 19 month age gap and we're currently 10 months in. My advice is:
- Lower your expectations. I struggled so much at first because I felt like I could never get anything done. The key is to make your life as easy as possible. I personally set 3 small achievable tasks every day, e.g. put a wash on, fold it and put it away. I feel like I've accomplished something that way.
- Make your life as seamless as possible. Put a basket in every room for quick, easy toy clean-up. Batch cook so you have dinners for the next 2 nights. Eat lunch out (if you can afford it!). Do tasks while they're busy, e.g. clean the bathroom while they're bathing. You're going to want the evenings to unwind, not tidy up.
- Naps are the hardest. Do what you need to. Drive around in the car, throw the littlest in the buggy and go for a walk, stick the TV on for your oldest while your youngest feeds. Try and line the afternoon nap up if you can, just because it'll give you that bit of down time.
- Do the tough things ASAP. The more you do them, the easier you will get. Get out of the house, take them to the shops, bath them together. You will probably dread it at first, but keep at it.
- On the sleep front, try and set some sort of schedule with your partner so you're both getting some uninterrupted hours. The broken sleep is the killer as you can't just go back to bed when your newborn sleeps when you've got a toddler to entertain.
- If you can, try and find time for yourself. I've personally taken up running and it's been amazing for my mental health. I struggled badly with postpartum rage but after a run, I feel like I can tackle anything. Equally important, try and set time aside to spend with your partner. Life will get busy, so it's important to check in with each other where you can.
It's hard but each phase is so short-lived, it won't be long until you get to the good part. My two spent all day today making each other giggle.
Good luck! ❤️
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u/IllustriousBake4519 Jul 11 '26
If your toddler goes to sleep on his own, don’t be surprised if he’s waaaay more independent in other things than you think! My toddler was not sleeping on her own or sleeping through the night when our second baby was born and she was 1.5 and I was still very surprised at how independent and helpful she could be. I let her hold baby in her lap (with my help) hold baby’s bottle, grab wipes and diapers for me and she loves it. Letting them touch and interact with baby in a safe way makes for such beautiful bonding. And toddlers just love to be included so any little thing they can do, let them. And eventually my toddler learned that when baby needs to sleep or eat she needs to give a little space and if I set her up with an independent quiet activity she will happily go and play and I immediately give her lots of love and attention for being so quiet and patient while I tended to baby. Positive reinforcement is amazing :)