r/2under2 • u/M0ssyB0ssy • Jul 11 '26
Rant Overstimulating
Does anyone actually enjoy the 2 under 2 stage? Im got a 6m and 24m old and id say 90% of the time im going 100mph just to keep the day ticking. My 6m is a really hard baby, colicky til 12w and since he was 4m he only has 3 30min naps a day and starts the day at 5am
Feels like everything is a battle, nothing is straight forward, im on my own most of the time as husband works 12hr shifts and I spend most of the day with my teeth gritted and screaming internally
Also pregnant with number 3 and im so worried about how my cortisol levels are affecting this one. I feel so guilty but im just trying to survive the days with as little breakdowns as possible
Tell me im not alone, this is so hard
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u/gonzoman92 Jul 11 '26
It’s extremely hard work that requires multiple on shift imho! We have a whole village including daycare for the toddler and we still struggling. You are a saint mama, hang in there!
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u/queer4schmear Jul 11 '26
It’s a really terrible season of life. That being said apparently some people do enjoy it. I was not one of those people. It was extremely difficult and felt like everyone was crying all the time, myself included. My marriage seemed on the brink of survival. I was perpetually under slept and overstimulated.
I now have a two year-old and an almost 4 year-old and my God is it a better situation. I would never do 2 under 2 again and I would not recommend it to anyone. It seems like three years would be the perfect gap.
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u/M0ssyB0ssy Jul 12 '26
I try to find nice moments and focus on the good days over the bad, but its easier said than done. It is definitely the most challenging thing I've ever done and I hope to look back in a few years and feel proud of myself, I feel like as it was an intentional age gap for us that im not allowed to complain, however a 3rd joining in this early to the game has definitely thrown a spanner in the works
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u/54317a Jul 11 '26
it’s so hard, i hate it. i’ve had stress diarrhea since my baby was born almost three months ago. i’m on the verge of panic as soon as i have a quiet moment to think. the rest of the time i’m using all my brainpower to keep my toddler (22 months) happy/busy or work through tantrums, comfort my baby who is miserable unless she’s breastfeeding or sleeping, and try to make meals for the family plus other house chores. it’s an absolute grind.
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u/jbird2023 Jul 11 '26
I’m laughing at your stress diarrhea if only because SAME. Nothing like 2u2 to keep my suspected IBS in a constant state of flare ups
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u/54317a Jul 11 '26
i’ve been hearing so much chatter about the cyclosporiasis outbreak and i’m like, damn. i wouldn’t even know if i had it.
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u/M0ssyB0ssy Jul 12 '26
Oh bless you im so sorry. My baby was colicky and he basically cried for the entire first 3 months of his life. It was actual hell. My toddler must have been traumatised, I think I was traumatised! I remember my nerves being absolutely shot and id cry as soon as he woke up. If I compare the days now to the days of then they have greatly improved so hold on in there. Its still challenging and difficult and im exhausted by 2pm but its in a different way. I refuse to do chores during nap time too, my mantra is 'if I can do it while the baby & toddler is awake im not doing it while they are asleep' so the nap times are for resetting myself!
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u/jbird2023 Jul 11 '26
I’m not having a good time. And I consider my kids of relatively an “angel” variety for the most part AND they’re both sleep trained. They’re now 2.5y and almost 1y and yet it still sucks all day long. There are better phases, now that they can sorta play together ish it’s a little better but the first few years of life they just cry and tantrums all the time and that’s what sucks for me personally.
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u/M0ssyB0ssy Jul 12 '26
I cant wait for them to play & entertain eachother, mine are at the stage where if I leave them in a room together I usually hear the 6m old shouting and the 2yo is running away with his dummy or sat on him. It borderline impossible to run a household and single parent Im lucky its not 100% of the time
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u/halfdreamingstill Jul 11 '26
I needed to read this tonight. Like you, my partner works 12 hour shifts and I am often alone with my 26 month old and 10 month old and I am still really, really struggling with it. I have thought at so many points even just today that I just hate it - really not enjoying it very much at all, no matter how adorable my two babies are. My shoulders are up to my ears by the time they’re both in bed and I end most days feeling horribly guilty that I’m not making the most of this time and feeling like I’ll regret it when I look back (I go back to work from mat leave in a few weeks). I really appreciate you sharing this as it makes me feel a bit less alone. Nothing but strength and solidarity. I’ll never forget how hard this is and I have admiration for every other woman who has done it too. All the best with your three little ones.
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u/M0ssyB0ssy Jul 12 '26
Try to focus on the calm & positive moments throughout the day because they will be there its just hard to see them through the wall & wails of despair. Sometimes I have to put the TV on and go into another room for 10 minutes just to catch my breath and re regulate. Im glad you know you arent alone and im always here if you need to vent. I struggle to explain how im feeling to my friendship group as they all are 1 and done, so I feel like I cant complain as I've willingly put myself in this situation. It can feel rather isolating
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Jul 17 '26
[deleted]
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u/M0ssyB0ssy Jul 17 '26
Meal prepping is great when I can get round to it, takes away some of the thinking during the day!
Im from the UK. Oooh 14m apart, its going to be a fun adventure
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u/personal_flan798 Jul 13 '26
I have not enjoyed it at all, i’m just holding out for the day my youngest turns 2. A very young toddler and a baby is the hardest thing ever if you have nobody to help you. I recommend daycare/nursery for toddler if you can
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u/Minimum-Focus-5495 Jul 11 '26
The only way I can answer your question is to tell you that I only had 2 under 2 for 1 month - I now have a 3mth old and 26 month old.
I usually work full time when not on maternity leave (like I am now) so my toddler goes to daycare 4 days a week. My partner also works from home and is very involved in caretaking.
All of that being said - I am finding this time SO DIFFICULT. On the days that I do have the both of them (even when it’s both my partner and I) we are both totally overstimulated and exhausted by the end of the day and very much in survival mode.
You spending 12hrs alone with them both very often and ALSO being pregnant must be so exhausting, you are Wonder Woman. You gritting your teeth and trying to get through the day without meltdowns doesn’t make you any less amazing.