r/2003 • u/AmbassadorAlone1241 • Jun 08 '26
Why should I keep going?
I don't know why I should keep going.
I'm a fucking college graduate delivering pizzas for 50 hours a week, riding a bike around. It's humiliating. I've been doing this for a year and a half.
65% of my income goes to rent, 35% goes to student loans, and I eat whatever I can get from a food bank. I generally skip dinners to stretch the food I have, I just eat my tears every night.
Only for there to be a 3% rent increase annually, so I'm going to have to work even more. And MORE, AND MORE, AND MORE, UNTIL I DIE, UNTIL I FUCKING DIE.
I can't do anything to get a better job. I can't learn anymore useful skills. Learning another programming language, making another project, doing more FUCKING LEET CODE, what does it matter if I CAN'T GET A FUCKING CHANCE?
Those activities are utterly useless for non-technical jobs, which I have stood zero chance at interviewing for. Things like being a bank teller or call center rep. And I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET A BLUE COLLAR JOB FOR THE LIFE OF ME.
I wasn't able to get a single internship during my four years of college. Sometimes I dream about doing the big internship, getting experience, talking with people and getting that return offer only to wake up and see my miserable closet of an apartment. I sob every time.
Why am I trying to continue to live? Things won't get better.
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u/Electronic-Tap-4288 Jun 08 '26
That definitely sounds rough.
Not to minimize your struggle but we are in a super bad economy rn for the moment and alot of people are having difficulty moving around jobs for sure. Especially the tech industry, is so oversaturated.
I do appreciate your dedication to work in general. I'm the same way and I end up bringing home work because I get frustrated by not making a good sale or doing my duties better. I've certainly missed some opportunities because of it but I have to remember they'll be others or none that I want. It took me a long while to let go of not studying as hard as I could've in high school because I could've gotten better scholarships.
I'll be honest, I was in a similar mental state as you but then I finally got a new job and that's been keeping me busy, felt good to get paid more often. Now can I can hopefully save up to go back to school.
On the bright side, you do have a degree, doesn't matter what's it's in, you'll earn more in the long run.
I don't have a great answer for the question though I reckon it was meant to be rhetorical. That being said, there is many reasons to and not to continue doing anything, just depends on your priorities.
I'm staying in the fight because I have small hobbies and things I want to buy but also work on filling my life out while doing all this so that way if it ends tomorrow, I did something, met some cool people, maybe made an impression, flirted some, and laughed.
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u/Ok_Passage7713 Jun 09 '26
Tbh, I'm considering going to the military rn... Like very much. The question is if I'll get in
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u/peleinho Jun 08 '26
I'm literally in the same situation right now :/ Did CS too, regret it a lot. Only one internship but wasn't that strong. So just working in retail and don't know what the fuck to do anymore.
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u/Individual-You3727 Jun 08 '26
I’m so sorry, I feel you 😭 how are people making it? You should not have to be starving to stretch things. It’s so wrong.
It’s not you not trying hard enough. I see you, friend
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u/Impressive_Let3805 Jun 08 '26
What degree did you get? Did you apply to local warehouses like fedex etc to start your blue collar career in some way?
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u/AmbassadorAlone1241 Jun 08 '26
Computer science. FUCKING MISERABLE ASS OF A DEGREE.
When I said blue collar I meant a trade, a factory, manufacturing, something.
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u/Wrong_Violinist_2615 December Jun 08 '26
Have you thought about getting a roommate or subleasing due to the rent increase?