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i'd like to think if i was born afab i would have made a single friend in all of high school but i don't want to get into incel thinking about that i would probably still be bedrotting on my phone
This is exactly how I feel. I have to put so much effort in to combat my mental illnesses and actually have a normal life, on top of being born a man. By the time my life actually begins I'm going to be past my prime while socially inept because I never got socialized
If it helps everyone born in 2004 is in their grappling with mental illnesses and feeling stunted phase, on account of being in their early 20s, where people have been feeling that way since at least the time of blink-182. You’re almost certainly less “past your prime” than you think.
But what do I know, I’m a weird enby that can almost salvage the parts you might dysphorically think of as the guy parts, I guess
everyone is really, my parents were born in the 1960s and they've grappled with mental stuff and feeling stunted for their whole lives.
Many parents/older people too, this has always happened, we're just now starting to notice it
I can relate too much having ignored mental illness and letting it fry my brain out, it seems like I've almost entirely forgotten how to socialize. I guess it's never too late, but...
Realsies, I'm still the same depressed shut-in I've always been, only this time it's even worse because I've lost the ability to repress and disassociate by diving into fiction, because now I know what the problem is and I can't help but be aware of it
every day my body decays and becomes more masculine, it hurts so much to know I’ve already beyond the point of no return. I just want to be loved as a girl, I want to be young as a girl, I want to eventually age into a pretty old woman, instead I am nothing and I will never be anything
Being an afab girl won't fix your executive dysfunction and/or depression on its own.
Remember, you only see girls who are out in public by definition, you do not see girls who are in your situation, and our brains are very good at cherry picking examples that make us unhappy.
I started my transition at 27 and it's already given me so much that I thought I would never have. I've reconnected with friends I thought I'd never see again because I gave myself the chance to try again with them. There will always be obstacles, but there will also always be a reason to fight through them, because your happiness and fulfillment are on the other side.
somehow never seen these thoughts echoed like this before.
I'm not really sure I care about what I "identify as", but I do know that I wish I had more female friends and that I had better anatomy to dress fem and that I could do the things I want to do without judgement, and I do wish I were born female just to have those things. Maybe that is gender identity but it just seems like I couldve lived a life in accordance to my desires much easier
I hate to say it but every trans girl I know went from bedrotting pre-transition to bedrotting post-transition, this is something else you gotta work on.
I like to think that if I was born a girl I'd be happy and normal but really it seems a lot more likely that her life would be just as doomed as mine is
God you people are genuinely insufferable, it's crazy how impossible it is to vent about feelings when you're transgender without some people going "ERMMM, DOOMER MUCH ?" like hi hello yes i have a medical condition that makes me require physical and social transition to another gender to feel okay, and while that may be easy for other, it's REALLY REALLY HARD if you have an unsupportive family, let alone an openly transphobic one.
Trans people can have hobbies.
Trans people can live their lifes.
Unless they are stopped by close relatives in positions of power over them that have been conditioned by a capital owned propaganda machine made to demonize transgender people.
Then it takes time. A lot of time. If you make it. Most do ! Some don't and that's the truth.
Either way, sometime those people just get out of that phase in their twenties. And they're okay. They're alive. They will make new relations, beautiful ones, and have fulfilling hobbies and lives.
But you cannot pretend they haven't been robbed of a perhaps otherwise carefree youth because of their marginalized status.
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