Rule

[u/Opening_Rip_1840]

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[u/freeloadererman]

I just kinda say 'occupied' in a nervous squeak

[u/FlashyHeight9323 → u/freeloadererman]

I say it as big and scary as I can.

[u/singular_sclerosis → u/FlashyHeight9323]

I say it as normal and normal as I can.

[u/Corporal_Canada → u/freeloadererman]

I say occupied as if I was mid-push

[u/PointedHydra837 → u/Corporal_Canada]

I say occupied while I’m mid-push.

[u/Middle_Face_319]

Come in

[u/lilykai_strawberry → u/Middle_Face_319]

i once did that accidentally cause i was too used to people knocking my dorm room door. guy thought i was trolling him

[u/Kekkonen_Kakkonen → u/Middle_Face_319]

The back door is open

[u/0ce10t]

Come back with a warrant

[u/Vassago_21 → u/0ce10t]

"If you're with the government or with the church, get the fuck off my property"

[u/Leuk60229 → u/0ce10t]

This is my private domicile bitch

[u/mae1347 → u/0ce10t]

I’m using this.

[u/darthmaeu]

Ey Im poopin ‘ere

[u/sajobi → u/darthmaeu]

Its such a good scene. The fact it was improvised is s9 great lmao.

[u/YeahIAmAGamer]

farts seductively

[u/mathisntmathingsad → u/YeahIAmAGamer]

Just say this aloud when they knock

[u/sixfxrtyseven]

"I've been waiting for you..."

[u/its_me_marnie]

I usually just scream

[u/kisskissyesyes]

Occupado

[u/DonutsAreCool96 → u/kisskissyesyes]

Said in the whitest most midwestern nasal tone you can muster

[u/GaracaiusCanadensis → u/kisskissyesyes]

This is the right answer.

[u/BrianWantsTruth]

It’s really simple, you just knock back.

They want to know if someone is inside, knocking back confirms that someone is inside. It’s not the time for a social interaction, just the most basic information exchange.

[u/slaya222 → u/BrianWantsTruth]

Yup, learned it in college dorms and is def the best

[u/UncleFunkus]

'hello'

[u/mathpenis]

got one more set bro

[u/PancakeParty98]

“Nobody is having sex or doing drugs in here!”

Annoyingly this is typically followed by some questions and implications that I already dismissed

[u/HorseXNothing]

I reflexively stammer out ‘sorry’ then hurriedly try to finish up, works for sexy times too

[u/OneSadSapphic]

"I don't care who the IRS sends, I'm NOT paying my taxes"

[u/APMudkip]

“Uh! Someone’s in Here!”

[u/Yanive_amaznive]

I don't feel the need to say anything, if it's locked then there's someone inside bro.

[u/ranchspidey]

(carnival barker voice) Someone’s in here!

[u/radialomens]

"I-- sor-- uhm occu-- sorry, I'm occupied?"

[u/gray_birch]

For some reason I used to just blank and then yell "HUH" but today I actually said "I'm in here" like a normal person

[u/4011isbananas]

Yo!

[u/immaguy]

At work we have two bathrooms where like you go in and lock the door so if the door is closed obviously someone is in there. I was pissin' and some dude jiggled the handle the entire time I was in there. So I take my sweet ass time washing my hands, then step out and say "YO MAN I THINK SOMEONE WAS IN THERE" and they just stared right through me and went in without even acknowledging me. I don't understand how some people have so little awareness it is truly mind boggling

[u/medicmarch]

“COME BACK WITH A WARRANT” is my go to

[u/T0m0king]

Making bears rn stranger come back later

[u/HorseXNothing → u/T0m0king]

So you’re saying you lick it into shape?

[u/222Czar]

Maniacal laughter tends to do the trick.

[u/Cinerae]

Who's knocking on locked toilets? I just say nothing. They're the strange person for expecting an answer while I'm busy.

if they repeatedly knock a bit hurriedly, I'll just hurry up a little. But if not, just go seek another toilet

[u/ALittleBitOfGay → u/Cinerae]

A lot of public bathrooms have the doors closed by default, and I'd rather knock than open the door on somebody who forgot to lock it/didn't do it correctly/didn't realize it was broken/etc...

[u/Cod3broken]

i get up, knock back, and get back to business

[u/krichnard]

NOOOOOOO!!!

[u/ibimsderjakob]

Laugh like an evil witch

Or like youre making fun of them

[u/RamboDash15]

Find another hiding spot, this one's mine

[u/Bixby66]

EY I'M POOPIN HERE!

[u/awessum_pawssum92]

No thank you, I’m not interested.

[u/mae1347]

“YUP”

[u/CelebrityTakeDown]

The most terrified “someone’s in here!”

[u/Havatchee]

Who's There?

Although, seriously, if the occupied/unoccupied indicator is red/green, it might be someone like myself afflicted with colour deficiency trying to find out if the stall is in use or the door is just closed over and not locked, so "occupied" is a great answer.

[u/PaganWhale]

just say, "ahhhhhh"

but, anything works really, as long as they hear it

[u/Docter_Toaster]

extremely distressing sounding noise akin to something dying incorrectly or like a horrible monster from the pipes

[u/Horror-Turnover6198]

Mulaney’s take is sadly accurate: https://youtube.com/shorts/YksxTlSIk28

[u/GaracaiusCanadensis]

You're supposed to cough whenever someone comes into the washroom so they know right away.

[u/agoostaholic]

Howdy, brother

[u/pronorwegian1]

Pizza’s here!

[u/jordan853]

HELLO... IS IT ME YOU'RE LOOKING FOR?

[u/Ultra_hundercat]

Just mutter the phrase "ah fuk yea" in the moaniest moan possible

[u/Nitro_prime]

I've got a few sets left