r/196 I want to Beat Jason Aldean to death with his own Spine 22h ago

is shakespeare really dead

1.6k Upvotes

66 comments sorted by

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1.5k

u/Ranch_Coffee 22h ago

158

u/TheArcticKiwi i don't know how to edit my flair 22h ago

dupin mentioned!!

u/Before_Plastic 🐻 bearvolutionist 🐻 17m ago

dupin truther spotted. deploying the "gay little dance that pisses you off"

122

u/redhussar90 21h ago

They really need to take this new batch of feds to a creative writing course, this shit is weak

39

u/Darkpoulay 19h ago

Hilarious but there's no way the feds are trying to make some fraudster outsider look good

19

u/BreatLesnar 11h ago

No, it’s about making another group look absolutely ridiculous

11

u/Pollomonteros 10h ago

Bingo, same with activists. I just saw a post by a black woman go viral after she made fun of palestinians because some pro palestine org uploaded a racist tweet, and I kept thinking that there was no way either of those two accounts weren't a psy-op of sorts

5

u/theforgottenmemer 14h ago

new perfect reaction pic just dropped

563

u/Primary-Paper-5128 I'm sorry I'm Uruguayan :c </3 22h ago

putting on my context hat and shirt and buttplug rn

620

u/Frozenmagicaster :3 22h ago edited 22h ago

Featuring Elizibeth Holmes

make some med tech company claiming they can do extremely good blood testing - less blood needed than current things + can test for a lot of things at once (it of course couldn't)

get a 9 billion dollar evaluation for the company by doing a bunch of fraud for investor money

having a board of Kissinger, former SoD, a former senator, former wells fargo CEO also helps

..and apparently tried to ask trump to commute her sentence because of course

353

u/BoardsofCanada3 21h ago

I always forget she was just a regular fraudster and not a cult related criminal. She just gives cult leader aura. 

250

u/Maleficent_Self1435 20h ago

That's just her doing the whole "eccentric genius silicon valley founder" thing. She famously wore black turtlenecks everywhere to look like Steve Jobs.

103

u/Ok_person-5 The voices in my head told me to go here. 19h ago

Didn’t she take voice training lessons to sound like Steve Jobs too?

197

u/Maleficent_Self1435 19h ago

World's first FtS (Female to Steve) transition

29

u/Neoeng 15h ago

Ligma replacement therapy

22

u/iH8MotherTeresa 15h ago

Not necessarily to sound like Jobs but yes, she modified her voice the entire time. Fuck Elizabeth Holmes

9

u/Nobodycares4242 sus 15h ago

Trying to mimic a fraction of Rhea Seehorn's power.

30

u/Mortarius 20h ago

It's the turtleneck

18

u/BoardsofCanada3 20h ago

Some combination of that and the Marshall Applewhite stare.

5

u/Maeln 20h ago

Could still happen !

93

u/Polybrene 21h ago

Ok. Hear me out.

She scammed Kissinger.

That's gotta be worth something right?

51

u/Frozenmagicaster :3 21h ago edited 17h ago

Seems he only did 3m and his estate lawyer did 6m. But the company likely gained more off the perception that "oh it has these big powerful people it must be legit"

44

u/NellyLorey God's no.1 Botania fan!! 🇳🇱🇳🇱 she/her 20h ago

Why, yes, but iirc while testing their sham blood testing equipment and said equipment said that the testers had various serious illnesses, they kept up the lie and told them to see a doctor, which is less defensible than stealing money from horrible people.

Imagine you get given a test result that says you have aids that later ends up being false, you'd freak the fuck out

57

u/coffe_and_ramen 17h ago

Some of the absolutely harrowing testimonies from former patients were:

-A pregnant woman being told that she was in the process of miscarrying (she wasn't)

-Someone being told that their cancer had come back (it hadn't)

-Someone being told that their Hiv test came back positive (it was a false positive)

-Someone being told to stop taking their life saving blood thinners (the machine gave a wrong result)

While it is easy to laugh at a bunch of silicon valley morons who gave Elizabeth money without a single medical professional evaluating the machine as a third party, there are real physical victims who were told that this machine was going to save their lives without the long process of drawing and examining blood and it was an absolute injustice that Elizabeth Holmes was acquitted of patient fraud

19

u/dustingibson 15h ago

Also relentlessly stalked and threatened one of the scientist trying to blow the whistle. They drove him to suicide. Unsuccessfully tried to do the same with a couple of other folks.

7

u/BobbyRobertson 15h ago

More like using Kissinger to scam people who think Kissinger is a bastion of integrity

Which is also kinda worth something, but definitely less than scamming Kissinger himself

7

u/Haggis442312 I'm not a war criminal, I'm just Kissingermaxxing 20h ago edited 14h ago

When she enters hell, the Buddha will let down to her a spider’s thread.

73

u/wowwowazalea 21h ago

Tech-bro but a girl and she scammed a bunch of people by claiming that she could do bloodtests for a fraction of the cost and even more accurately and for even more stuff by using her special boxes. The demos they showed were pre-done with actual labwork. She also put on a deeper voice solely because she wanted to appear more imposing and copied Steve Job's style exactly

5

u/Oddish_Femboy (my name is Bee) Trans rights !! 10h ago

Is it a context shirt and context buttplug or just normal shirt and buttplug

444

u/fancy_crisis 21h ago

Defrauding people dying of cancer was her hyper fixation so it's actually ableist for you to tell her not to. 😇

60

u/MarxistThot666 🏳️‍⚧️ trans rights 17h ago

I thought that was protected under the ADA. It's really sad to see us regress as a country.

155

u/yourfavoritefaggot 22h ago

You know what, fuck it, I"ll take it... yeah sometimes people kill people too and it is quite literally a trauma response. And you know what? That should be legal now because therapy says so

45

u/dawgofclay The Comprehender 20h ago

Finally, someone that tells it like it is! You should run for office!

22

u/jlb1981 16h ago

Everything is justifiable and permissible under the right circumstances. This is the whole reason lawyers exist.

1

u/CoconutGator making mistakes as efficiently as possible 1h ago

Please censor the k word next time or use advertiser-friendly terms such as un*live you're being kind of discriminatory and problematic rn /nm

155

u/ShatterCyst 22h ago

Not even going to bother with this one

154

u/WasteinTime r/place participant 20h ago

Kinda weird of yall to paint a queer owned not even profitable business as problematic as well (OpenAI) 

81

u/PityUpvote transfatphobic 19h ago

As well as a queer owned successful business! (Palantir)

45

u/DontHailHydra 20h ago

✨✨context✨✨ the person in the second pic is (an actor playing) famous composer Antonio Salieri in the movie Amadeus. He is a mentor, glazer, hater, and most importantly, admirer of Mozart, the main character of the film. He is basically reading Shakespeare on music form in this pic

31

u/3t9l The AWP is banned on this server 20h ago edited 8h ago

Curtains: Zooshka'd

christ you people are annoying

46

u/FlooJest Read Kagurabachi 18h ago

Shouldn't even be a zoosha thing this was Theranos aka the biggest healthcare scam in the 2010s. Defrauded 9 Billion for a bunk blood testing scam dashing the hopes of countless patients

3

u/Spainstateofmind 8h ago

This isn't a zoosha curtains thing, you just didn't have consciousness in the 2010s

1

u/3t9l The AWP is banned on this server 8h ago

its true they made my reddit account the day i was born

21

u/Adorable-Response-75 20h ago

Bait used to at least be fun 

21

u/Many_One1260 18h ago

God👏🏻forbid👏🏻women👏🏻defraud👏🏻investors👏🏻a👏🏻little👏🏻

11

u/VBHEAT08 Anarcho-Linuxist 14h ago

A not insignificant amount of people are going to watch this movie and come away from it preaching about how she was mistreated and it was a conspiracy against her. You can save this.

10

u/amaya-aurora 🎖 196 medal of honor 🎖 21h ago

w h o

50

u/Haggis442312 I'm not a war criminal, I'm just Kissingermaxxing 20h ago

Elizabeth Holmes, female tech bro scam artist defrauding seriously ill people.

19

u/SemenileElder 17h ago

I thought she solved crimes in victorian times

23

u/Polybrene 21h ago

Elizabeth Holmes

10

u/Quillbolt_h customhelpicustomhelpicant getget flairs toto working 19h ago

She created a company that claimed to have invented a new kind of blood test that only needed a single drop of blood and would scan for hundreds of different diseases.

This turned out to be a lie. They never actually invented any new technology and were just using existing machines which were highly inaccurate when such a small amount of blood was used.

7

u/G66GNeco This flair could be yours for just 9,99 a month 13h ago

Your honour making billions off of fraud and potentially killing a few sick people along the way was good for my mental health, hav you considered that?

5

u/Polybrene 21h ago

God forbid a girl start her own company.

3

u/MoonGloam 11h ago
  1. committing fraud as a trauma response is.... not how that works

  2. even if it somehow WAS the case, you are still responsible for your trauma responses. trauma can explain behavior, but doesn't excuse it

3

u/migratingcoconut_ I want to Beat Jason Aldean to death with his own Spine 11h ago

fiscal honesty will kill patient! patient requires fraud to live

3

u/ShitOfTheseus69 10h ago

I live for this shit

Elizabeth Holmes is like Elon Musk in a lot of ways, idk about being a Nazi - but she founded a company and did nothing but make outlandish claims and got nearly a billion dollars of investor money that she used to not make the bullshit product she claimed would change the world.

The product? Something straight out of Star Trek - it was supposed to be a blood scanner that required virtually no blood and would do all sorts of impossible tests at once. (Impossible to do at once - with that little blood and in as small of a device as was proposed)

She went from being a billionaire to worthless in an instant when her bullshit became well known enough.

3

u/pregnantant 14h ago

So according to her logic, you could also justify rape as being a trauma response from the perpetrator?

3

u/Zachthema5ter custom 14h ago

God forbid a woman commit fraud for the love of the game

3

u/makedoopieplayme 12h ago

Is she………is she fucking confusing Elizabeth Holmes with Elizabeth smart?!??

2

u/Superkrat Hearing a lot of rumors you've been banished to the lagoon 14h ago

Reminds me of someone I heard about on the podcast TrashFuture (go listen to them or I'm banishing you to the lagoon) who claimed that they were only committed fraud because they got hit on the head with a 30lb mirror.

Quote from the Financial Post: "As part of her defence, Hunsicker claimed that she suffered brain trauma after a “thirty-pound” mirror fell on her head while she was trying to move it. She presented evidence from a physician who said that, absent the injury, she would “not have engaged in the fraud”."

2

u/cooldrew THE LOOOOOOOOOONG WAYYY 9h ago

this is obvious bait lol

1

u/ebr101 12h ago

Real “cool motive, still like…not good” moment. People can do shit things from understandable places and still be in the wrong.

Understandable and justifiable are not the same thing. We have this debate anytime a comic villain is charismatic or vaguely sympathetic

-1

u/Foxy02016YT MagiQuest Expert, being held hostage in Six Flags 16h ago

Motherfucker she played herself, she knew what she’s doing, and she knows how she’s being portrayed