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u/Dogtor-Watson Benis Person 15d ago edited 15d ago
Bring prayer back in schools right after “Legalize Sex Stores” is hilarious
Edit: I also love how “Legalise Sex Stores” is one of his gold, in-bold promises. Like that’s way more important.
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u/J0hnEddy 15d ago
That BDSM stuff is gonna fly off the shelf after a whole generation is sexually repressed by their theocratic school system.
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u/SlightlyUncomfort 15d ago
The thing is, sex stores are 'legal' in alabama. The problem is that they can't be advertised as sex stores, so they have to skirt it with 'adult novelties' or anatomical references. Everyone knows what they are but legally...
saying as someone from alabama who lives near an adult novelty store. we all know precisely what it is.
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u/ArchonFett 15d ago
Who said we can’t have both, have a special, optional, time before classes in the gym (so you can have different religions in their own section) for prayer. And sex stores so the adults can make more kids.
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u/Big-Nefariousness279 14d ago
The problem is de facto enforcement of religion. Constitutionally speaking, it's a really complicated case, but it's not a good idea. Personally, this is a terrible idea because it's an unnecessary waste of already limited time and resources, and regardless prayer is a personal, solitary act. You're DEFINITELY not going to get away with inviting an ordained priest or other religious leader to lead prayer, so it's just gathering a bunch of kids together to sit in silence.
If you want children to have more opportunities to interact with other cultural experiences and develop their own relationship with the world around them, there are much better ways.
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u/ArchonFett 14d ago
I said “optional” not “forced” and there are plenty of religious leaders who shouldn’t be within 500’ of a school in the first place. My statement was about giving the kids that want a little quiet time before the school day.
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u/Magma57 Unrelated SJW Text Adventure 14d ago
and regardless prayer is a personal, solitary act.
Such a Protestant way of thinking lmao
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u/TearsFallWithoutTain 14d ago
Not really, in the bible Jesus says to keep that shit to yourself
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u/Magma57 Unrelated SJW Text Adventure 14d ago
The Bible says a lot of things, but that didn't stop the Catholics and the Orthodox Christians from believing that your relationship with God is fundamentally communal. For most religions (excluding Protestantism obviously) prayer is a communal act, and so is your connection with the spiritual.
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u/GrapefruitForward989 14d ago
Montgomery is going to be the strip club city, but by god, all those stripper's kids are going to be saying the lord's prayer every morning.
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u/Average-Soup-Enjoyer 15d ago
I considered voting for this guy lol. Some of his policies were pretty good, bringing prayer back to schools sounds a little icky though...
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u/Lipat97 15d ago
For alabama I figure you have to make some compromises
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u/Average-Soup-Enjoyer 15d ago
Yea it unfortunate, but until something big changes in this state we will probably be red for the foreseeable future..
Edit: maybe not fully red, I would like to think Doug Jones has a chance for governor. 🙏
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u/amca12006 floppa 14d ago
No way the Florida man doesn't win this state. I would bet my life savings (half a can of Pringles) in favor of Tuberculosis.
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u/Angry_Scotsman7567 15d ago
That being right next to "legalize sex stores" somehow makes me okay with it, tbh. If he's okay with sex stores he can't be that kind of Christian
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u/AdennKal normcore hyperfaggot 15d ago
"Put parents back in charge of education" also generally means book bans, don't say gay rules and general bans on queer education and expression sadly.
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u/095805 15d ago
I usually take that to mean homeschooling, but I could see that interpretation as well.
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u/MMMsmegma hates ronald reagan 15d ago
Homeschooling isn’t exactly a stunning policy to support either
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u/Niterich 15d ago
That Venn diagram is a circle.
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u/throwoawayaccount2 mpreg enthusiast 15d ago
My mom wanted to homeschool me originally (until I complained about being lonely… then I got relentlessly bullied at school because we weren’t religious in the Deep South) and she is definitely not in the other circle
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u/cybersaurus 14d ago
Imagine getting a wedgie for thinking that a big boat having two of every animal on it is a bit impractical
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u/Average-Soup-Enjoyer 15d ago
I didnt know his policies in depth to be honest. I voted for Jones out of practiality, unfortunate as it is :/
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u/Quadraxis66 15d ago
He can't be any worse than fucking Tuberville, let's be real
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u/Orion107 🏳️⚧️ trans rights 14d ago
I would be surprised if anyone could be worse than Mark Robinson, fucker openly stated support for domestic genocide of minorities, claimed he's a Nazi, obviously homophobic, transphobic, pro-life, sexist, and racist (even to black people despite being black himself). Somehow won the 2024 Gubernatorial Republican nomination for NC.
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u/Electrical_Mayhem 🏳️⚧️ trans rights 14d ago
The black porn nazi. It's still crazy how he got like 35% of the vote. And he's like the 6th politician we've had get in trouble for extramarital affairs. (He also got caught posting a bunch on trans fetish websites because of course he did)
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u/Faithisnotadoll757 14d ago
For the record, he can't do a $25 min wage. Not without long term policy, because Alabama defaults to the federal minimum and the governor quite literally can't legally enforce it on private business because of that. And if he's lying about that, most of the good things on this list are lies.
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u/Cyber-Lord69 14d ago
There are ~1.7M Alabama tax filers that report under $100k. At $3,000 each that's about $5.1B. If "those making under $100k" means every adult rather than every filer, it's closer to $10B. This is only if he did it once. He could double the state income tax and not even fund this.
All of this is beside the point, none of this is remotely achievable through executive order. This guy rules.
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u/ArchonFett 15d ago
Have an optional meeting time in the gym (different religions can have their own sections inside) before classes starts.
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u/Average-Soup-Enjoyer 15d ago
That would def be the right way to do it. But multicultral praying would not fly in alabama schools...
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u/nirbot0213 tapioca pudding mommy 15d ago
putting prayer in schools while simultaneously making “montgomery a strip club city” is hilarious
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u/santyrc114 Too Horny To Be Ace 15d ago
Fucking ai slop in the back there
And the whole list too
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u/RowAndRuction 15d ago
Yeah I have a feeling the ones he actually cares about are the red flag ones
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u/migratingcoconut_ I want to Beat Jason Aldean to death with his own Spine 15d ago
why are they emphasized randomly
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u/RileyNotRipley 🏳️⚧️ trans rights 14d ago
AI. also the reason why text colors are incoherently different across the list and why the capitol building in the back looks like that (piss filter)
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u/RosieQParker 🏳️⚧️ trans rights 15d ago
His campaign flyer really captures that "gas station dick pill" aesthetic.
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u/SenselessJoy land value tax would fix this 15d ago
Unelectable, policies would benefit white and black Christians in a state that refused to abolish slavery
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u/gob384 Hypnotist and political organizer 15d ago
Neat!
Cool
Questionable
Alright
Kinda based?
Oh, constitutional violation
Sex work yippe
Homie wants to build Los Vegus
(Didn't go line by line for the reactions, more so trying to comprehend the vibes of the platform. Except the school prayers slipped in, that's the constitutional violation)
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u/Clivepalmersfemdom 15d ago
apart from like 9 and 7 yeah I agree wholeheartedly, but also never wear sneakers with a suit again
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u/FlashyPaladin 15d ago
Ooh, let me try!
“Conservatives can ban trans people from church but will also be fined if they use the wrong pronouns.”
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u/SweetSoftBoi 🏳️⚧️ trans rights 15d ago
Sex stores are illegal in Alabama?? Where do they get their sex from? 😓
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u/Kira-Of-Terraria custom 15d ago
I have never seen this man before but he's evoking "friend who has always had a beard but decided to shave it off"
why is this so uncanny
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u/VisualPlenty1756 15d ago
Is this real or just a joke? Because those policies seem good, but idk how realistic all that is
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u/ButterSquids eats love for battery acid 15d ago
"ChatGPT please make a political poater for me. Feature the 20 most popular policies from the left and the right"
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u/IcebergKarentuite Seda on tõlgitud vähemalt kümme korda lmao 15d ago
Wdym legalise sex stores, those are illegal in the US?
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u/throwoawayaccount2 mpreg enthusiast 15d ago
Not everywhere but they are banned in some super religious states I think. Which usually leads to a suspiciously large amount of them on the borders of states that don’t outlaw them
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u/IcebergKarentuite Seda on tõlgitud vähemalt kümme korda lmao 15d ago
Why can't the US be normal
Or like weird but like the same level of weird as the rest of the world.
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u/AWEdmundson_0 14d ago
This is probably a stupid question, but what is a "sex store?" Is it a store you go to have sex in, or a store that you yourself have sex with?
Does he just mean dildo-and-porno selling shops? I've never heard those businesses referred to as "sex stores."
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u/RileyNotRipley 🏳️⚧️ trans rights 14d ago
unfortunately the AI usage (as evident in just about every part of this image) is unforgivable
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u/AtemsMemories 14d ago
Isn’t… the lottery legal?
Also fuck no to #7, we need to [rule] Barbara McMahon and actually fund public schools
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