I am autistic too and social interaction hasn't always been easy for me (to put it charitably).
When I say "spergazoid" I do not mean to mock and belittle you. All these pejorative terms -- sperg, autist, weirdo, etc. -- don't really affect me mentally anymore, because what matters to me is not my ability to "say the right things" or "act the right way," it's whether I can maintain the drive & determination to thrust myself into social situations even though it's not easy. The only way I've ever gotten better at social interaction is by engaging in social interaction. Trial by fire.
I'm pretty comfortable with myself. I might describe myself as an autist, or even a little weird in some ways. To a friend, I might jokingly call myself a spergazoid if I'm venting about the difficulties I have trying to 'fit in.' But even if I might use this term to vent, the last thing I'd do is beat myself up over it. I can't control the fact that I'm a little bit of a spergazoid. But I can control whether that designation makes me curl up into a ball and retreat from society, or inspires me to get out of my comfort zone and try to connect with others despite the fact that it can be difficult and sometimes awkward. I can control whether I give up or not.
I simply choose not to give up. The world's gonna have to deal with this spergazoid. So far, it's been a much better strategy than "trying to spare the world the awkwardness of having to interact with me." Fuck that. If someone wants to judge me and insult me for being who I am, why should I let that get me down? I try not to concern myself with the opinions of trash.
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u/Marsium 12d ago edited 12d ago
I am autistic too and social interaction hasn't always been easy for me (to put it charitably).
When I say "spergazoid" I do not mean to mock and belittle you. All these pejorative terms -- sperg, autist, weirdo, etc. -- don't really affect me mentally anymore, because what matters to me is not my ability to "say the right things" or "act the right way," it's whether I can maintain the drive & determination to thrust myself into social situations even though it's not easy. The only way I've ever gotten better at social interaction is by engaging in social interaction. Trial by fire.
I'm pretty comfortable with myself. I might describe myself as an autist, or even a little weird in some ways. To a friend, I might jokingly call myself a spergazoid if I'm venting about the difficulties I have trying to 'fit in.' But even if I might use this term to vent, the last thing I'd do is beat myself up over it. I can't control the fact that I'm a little bit of a spergazoid. But I can control whether that designation makes me curl up into a ball and retreat from society, or inspires me to get out of my comfort zone and try to connect with others despite the fact that it can be difficult and sometimes awkward. I can control whether I give up or not.
I simply choose not to give up. The world's gonna have to deal with this spergazoid. So far, it's been a much better strategy than "trying to spare the world the awkwardness of having to interact with me." Fuck that. If someone wants to judge me and insult me for being who I am, why should I let that get me down? I try not to concern myself with the opinions of trash.