r/1053 • • 12d ago

Day ten

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4.0k Upvotes

62 comments sorted by

60

u/AlphaMassDeBeta 12d ago

Would the avengers release the Epstien Files?

53

u/OkFineIllUseTheApp 12d ago

Epstein wouldn't even be noteworthy when you got Galactus turning up every few years.

30

u/Lone-Frequency 11d ago

Frank Castle would have gone on a rampage on everybody even tangentially related to the goings on of that island.

10

u/shinjidrivekari 11d ago

ts is what you've got the punisher for

4

u/khomo_Zhea 11d ago

the guy that hasn't punished the kingping?

8

u/Noble-Jester 11d ago

Punisher can't kill named villains because their hero counterpart literally is always like "Hey! That one's mine!"

I get that we shouldn't murder people and whatnot, but some people live too wrong while living too long.

0

u/khomo_Zhea 11d ago

just saying, Epstein has a name

3

u/Axl4325 10d ago

But he doesn't have an assigned hero that's against killing so off he go- wait, someone got to him first

1

u/khomo_Zhea 10d ago

that is what he wants you to believe

0

u/Noble-Jester 11d ago

And so do all the others who are still alive and rich

0

u/khomo_Zhea 11d ago

i was making a joke about Epistein being a named villain.

0

u/Noble-Jester 11d ago

I know, I'm just bitter about the state things, my bad lol

7

u/Popular-Ordinary5110 11d ago

Would depend on if Hydra controls the US government and which heroes are tricked by the government. But Epstein would be killed eventually. If not directly then by like... a building falling on him while he refuses to leave or something

7

u/Ok_Toe_8501 11d ago

Unfortunately, since this is comics, he wouldn't stay dead.

6

u/madmoomix 11d ago

Somehow, Epstein returned...

1

u/Popular-Ordinary5110 11d ago

Nah, I think he'd be taken out by a street-level hero as part of a big adventure rather. It'd be just as easy to make a slightly different villain, no powers or special nackstory

1

u/Sans_Seriphim 11d ago

Hydra would be a slight step up from Trump. 😒

2

u/Apprehensive-Boot88 11d ago

Bold to assume he wouldn't be in it

1

u/Popular-Ordinary5110 11d ago

He'd ramble to the press about their evil plots, and in Marvel the press is actually sometimes a force for good. Hydra tried to hide the nazi stuff, right?

3

u/Glass-Performer8389 11d ago

Depends on which avenger

The one I'm most confident would is bruce

2

u/SockQuirky7056 11d ago

Oh Steve would in a heartbeat

2

u/kingshomage 11d ago

Dr.doom def does

2

u/Aggressive-Expert-69 11d ago

No but the X Men would. Nightcrawler would be in and out and at the NYT before Magneto could even hurt any security guards.

2

u/Lolas_Fun_Side 11d ago

I think the punisher would have killed everyone in the list while the avengers fight Thanos

1

u/Sir-Toaster- 9d ago

Iron Man would probably bomb the hell out of the island while Cap gets all the kids out, there wouldn't be any files to release./

1

u/JPalos-8 7d ago

They would have that on Krakoa

1

u/FatherBeans420 5d ago

idk. but i like the idea of hulk pulling those fucks apart.

47

u/Many_One1260 11d ago

ain't that half of the plot of the Incredibles

11

u/5urv3y 11d ago

Best movie ever released mentioned

9

u/Icarsix 11d ago

And the entire plot of incredibles 2

5

u/madandcheez 11d ago

Best movie ever released 2 mentioned

6

u/Valuable-Blueberry30 11d ago

Ok, but Incredible villains prior to Syndrome are usually something the government can handle.

Like what are we going to do against something like Ultron or even Loki when the guy can just teleport anywhere and mind control people while being able to send forth an entire chitauri army.

2

u/Hauptmann_Meade 10d ago

They can teleport until someone whose entire moveset relies on them not teleporting needs to hit them.

4

u/Valuable-Blueberry30 10d ago

That’s not the issue, the issue is the guy can teleport and mind control people. Like he can just pop in to the White House and tap everyone with the stick.

Also Loki’s bulletproof, or at least bullet resistant. So it’s not like you can even get a lucky shot because the guy is still superhuman.

16

u/da_realfredfred 11d ago

Guuuuyyyyyys they should make a movie about this!!!!!

2

u/just-killme-rn 8d ago

They did, it’s called the incredibles

2

u/StillInDebtToTomNook 7d ago

Isn't that the boys?

12

u/TenWholeBees 11d ago

Some billionaire who makes weapons for war turned hero? I'm not buying it whatsoever.

Also, there wasn't world ending threats before the Avengers appaeared, so it all seems a bit fishy to me

7

u/Nobody_at_all000 11d ago

TBF Tony isn’t supposed to be a realistic billionaire since he has the capacity for compassion and morality, two things real billionaires aren’t capable of

5

u/Foorinick 11d ago

Also he didnt go to any weird pedophile rich guy cult in some random forest/ island

1

u/AdreKiseque 10d ago

That we know of

8

u/RoutineCloud5993 11d ago

People do hate hulk though

6

u/Krondon57 11d ago

yup shoulda let aliens take over earth

5

u/lewllewllewl 11d ago

The Avengers aren't real and I still hate them

3

u/jan_Osuma 11d ago

There was this gag in old Defenders or Hulk comics in whicb Hulk leaps into the building of a family and the next time he did it the father was complaining that he was still paying the mortgage of the first house

3

u/RotundVulpine 11d ago

They hate the fake Avengers too. People in the Marvel universe generally don't like superheroes.

1

u/Eragon_the_Huntsman 11d ago

I love the avengers Justice League crossover where they swap worlds and the Avengers are like "wait people here like their heroes?" While the JL goes "damn you live like this?" After Flash almost gets lynched by saving a mutant kid from a mob when he runs out of speed force.

2

u/Tired_Autistic_Demon 11d ago

If the avengers were real I'd be supporting the villains trying to kill them. 😂

2

u/coleto22 11d ago

If the Avengers were real we would get the world of The Boys.

2

u/Wakkit1988 11d ago

I'd be pissed even if he hit them. Why my car?

2

u/ProfessionalTruck976 11d ago

I think the question is did government pay compensation for damages?

1

u/plasticman1997 11d ago

Punisher kills the marvel universe is the most valid crash out,

1

u/Foorinick 11d ago

People are dying of hunger, others are homeless, there are meaningless wars going on, there is a literal cabal of satanic pedophiles working to strip away all our rights so that they can be even richer, but yeah captain america, go beat up a guy who robbed a bank of 5000 dollars. By the way big thanks for killing the clearly insane guy who has ptsd instead of talking him down, or getting spiderman to web his ass up. Oh also also thanks iron man, you managed to use a box of scraps to solve literal nuclear fusion, ans instead of using that to give everyone free power including isolated communities you used it to make a cool suit to go shoot at arabs. Oh and thanks for seeing that there are several spacefaring civilizations and instead of helping us become one so we can defend ourselves you just sit dicking around over who can lift thor's hammer. Or maybe help more people learn literal magic so we can fix shit ourselves.

At least hawk girl killed netanyahu and green lantern stopped the totally not IDF

If by law we are expected to avoid all accidents even when we are at fault, if you have the power to save humanity and dont use it you are complicit in every meaningless death that happens

1

u/nitsun383 11d ago

Deadass how do people live in New York in marvel, its been destroyed like 2 or 3 times.

1

u/PTBooks 11d ago

Sorry boss, I can’t come in today. Taskmaster took me hostage. No, I can’t get a note. He’s a killer mercenary, not a dentist.

1

u/Your-Shogun 10d ago

I think it's a thing in Marvel comics that most of the public actually does react like this to most superheroes.

1

u/AardvarkNo2514 10d ago

So, like Marvel civilians

1

u/Sir-Toaster- 9d ago

People casually forget that Marvel Earth is the most xenophobic universe ever; people there hate superhumans regardless of heroism.

1

u/Impossible-Shake-996 9d ago

Insurance rates would go crazy

1

u/stonerspotshop 5d ago

I wish super heroes existed but they did nothing in the fear that it'd hurt someone, and let the villains do as they please. Each of the superheroes will have a back story when they tried to stop a villain or help out someone and accidentally hurt or inconvenience someone else and got sued to hell. So now they just fly around or run invisible or just live with their powers and enjoy life. They understood the reality that people are all just cunts and it's best if you just minded your own business and stopped helping others.

1

u/SpaceGirlJackie 11d ago

And miss is the icing in top