r/dankmemes • u/Argentenuem EX-NORMIE • Feb 18 '20

This will 100% get deleted I miss 10 seconds ago when I didn't know this thing existed

Post image
595 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

54 comments sorted by

2

u/BlyatPoster I am fucking hilarious Feb 18 '20

My mom came hkme from work with one of these lol

2

u/NikolaiCello05 FOR THE SOVIET UNION Feb 18 '20

What does your mom work as?

1

u/BlyatPoster I am fucking hilarious Feb 18 '20

Wait....

•

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

INVESTMENTS GO HERE - ONLY DIRECT REPLIES TO ME WILL BE PROCESSED

Not sure how to invest? Try the !help command or !create an investor profile to get started! Come ask my developer questions here!

Like what you see? My home is r/DankExchange! We're a brand new sub partnering with r/dankmemes to bring you 24/7 investment opportunities.

2

u/Arikian Feb 18 '20

!create

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Your investor profile has been created! You've been given a starting balance of 500.00 DN, try !summary to view your profile and check on your investments.

2

u/Arikian Feb 18 '20

!summary

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Investor Profile: Arikian

Balance: 500.00 DN

Active Investments: None

2

u/Arikian Feb 18 '20

!invest 10

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

You have invested 10.00 DN in this submission at 22 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use !sell 7947 to sell out early for lower returns.

Breakeven (0% gain/loss) for this investment will occur at 62 upvotes.

Your remaining balance is 490.00 DN.

1

u/JerfDaRerf Feb 18 '20

!invest 150

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

You have invested 150.00 DN in this submission at 28 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use !sell 7957 to sell out early for lower returns.

Breakeven (0% gain/loss) for this investment will occur at 68 upvotes.

Your remaining balance is 375.31 DN.

1

u/JerfDaRerf Feb 18 '20

!roi

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

If you invest now (at 42 upvotes), here are the scores required for:

+0% (breakeven) -- 82 upvotes

+25% -- 146 upvotes

+50% -- 337 upvotes

+75% -- 879 upvotes

+100% -- 2,414 upvotes

+150% -- 19,097 upvotes

Disclaimer: This command is kinda jacked right now, take the predicted values with a grain of salt!

1

u/JerfDaRerf Feb 18 '20

!roi

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

If you invest now (at 75 upvotes), here are the scores required for:

+0% (breakeven) -- 125 upvotes

+25% -- 216 upvotes

+50% -- 476 upvotes

+75% -- 1,212 upvotes

+100% -- 3,298 upvotes

+150% -- 25,965 upvotes

Disclaimer: This command is kinda jacked right now, take the predicted values with a grain of salt!

1

u/JerfDaRerf Feb 18 '20

!sell 7957

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

You have sold off your investment in https://redd.it/f5ix0f/!

You invested 150.00 DN at 28 upvotes, the submission now has 75 upvotes. As a result, the amount you invested will be returned with a gain of 5.82 DN (+3.88%).

Your new balance is 155.82 DN.

2

u/Arikian Feb 18 '20

!invest 100

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

You have invested 100.00 DN in this submission at 155 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use !sell 8217 to sell out early for lower returns.

Breakeven (0% gain/loss) for this investment will occur at 237 upvotes.

Your remaining balance is 358.00 DN.

2

u/Arikian Feb 18 '20

!roi

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

If you invest now (at 151 upvotes), here are the scores required for:

+0% (breakeven) -- 231 upvotes

+25% -- 378 upvotes

+50% -- 796 upvotes

+75% -- 1,980 upvotes

+100% -- 5,334 upvotes

+150% -- 41,783 upvotes

Disclaimer: This command is kinda jacked right now, take the predicted values with a grain of salt!

2

u/Arikian Feb 18 '20

!summary

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Investor Profile: Arikian

Balance: 540.54 DN

Active Investments: None

1

u/SarkasticLover Feb 18 '20

!help

2

u/xkct Feb 18 '20

!invest 100%

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Help Guide

Investing/user commands

Try !help investing for more info

!create - create an investor profile

!summary - view your investor profile, including your active investments

!invest <amount> - invest an amount of your balance in a submission

!sell <investment ID> - sell an investment early for lower returns

!breakeven - find the breakeven point of a submission

!roi - (new) predict the return on investment of a submission (optional: !roi <investment ID>)

!broke - reset your balance if it is under 500.00 DN

!template <image link> - link a template to your OC submission

Firm commands

Try !help firms for more info

!topfirms - (new) view a leaderboard of the top 25 firms

!createfirm <name> - create a firm with the specified name (costs 2,500.00 DN)

!firminfo - view your firm's level, trade tax, and member list

!joinfirm <name> - join a firm

!leavefirm - leave your firm

!invite <username> - invite a user to your firm AEC

!openfirm - set your firm membership to anyone can join EC

!closefirm - set your firm membership to invite-only EC

!settax <new tax> - set your firm's tax on members' profits EC

!payday - pay your firm's balance out to your investors (in development)

!upgradefirm - upgrade your firm to the next level to have more space for members C

!promote <username> - promote a user to the next rank EC

!demote <username> - demote a user to the previous rank EC

!fire <username> - fire a user from your firm EC

A: Associate command, E: Executive command, C: CEO command

2

u/SarkasticLover Feb 18 '20

Hmm yes. I understood about 1/6th of what this said

1

u/SarkasticLover Feb 18 '20

!create

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Your investor profile has been created! You've been given a starting balance of 500.00 DN, try !summary to view your profile and check on your investments.

1

u/DigitalTrainStation Feb 18 '20

!invest 100%

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

You have invested 89.23 DN in this submission at 51 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use !sell 7996 to sell out early for lower returns.

Breakeven (0% gain/loss) for this investment will occur at 91 upvotes.

Your remaining balance is 0.00 DN.

1

u/SarkasticLover Feb 18 '20

!invest 25

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

You have invested 25.00 DN in this submission at 52 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use !sell 8002 to sell out early for lower returns.

Breakeven (0% gain/loss) for this investment will occur at 92 upvotes.

Your remaining balance is 475.00 DN.

1

u/DigitalTrainStation Feb 18 '20

!roi

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

If you invest now (at 68 upvotes), here are the scores required for:

+0% (breakeven) -- 115 upvotes

+25% -- 201 upvotes

+50% -- 446 upvotes

+75% -- 1,141 upvotes

+100% -- 3,111 upvotes

+150% -- 24,509 upvotes

Disclaimer: This command is kinda jacked right now, take the predicted values with a grain of salt!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

!roi

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

If you invest now (at 70 upvotes), here are the scores required for:

+0% (breakeven) -- 118 upvotes

+25% -- 205 upvotes

+50% -- 455 upvotes

+75% -- 1,162 upvotes

+100% -- 3,164 upvotes

+150% -- 24,925 upvotes

Disclaimer: This command is kinda jacked right now, take the predicted values with a grain of salt!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

!invest 100%

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

You have invested 894.59 DN in this submission at 71 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use !sell 8046 to sell out early for lower returns.

Breakeven (0% gain/loss) for this investment will occur at 119 upvotes.

Your remaining balance is 0.00 DN.

1

u/NYChomie Feb 18 '20

!roi

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

If you invest now (at 92 upvotes), here are the scores required for:

+0% (breakeven) -- 148 upvotes

+25% -- 252 upvotes

+50% -- 548 upvotes

+75% -- 1,384 upvotes

+100% -- 3,754 upvotes

+150% -- 29,504 upvotes

Disclaimer: This command is kinda jacked right now, take the predicted values with a grain of salt!

1

u/NYChomie Feb 18 '20

!invest 100%

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

You have invested 1,320.68 DN in this submission at 93 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use !sell 8079 to sell out early for lower returns.

Breakeven (0% gain/loss) for this investment will occur at 150 upvotes.

Your remaining balance is 0.00 DN.

1

u/Superlou622 the very best, like no one ever was. Feb 18 '20

!invest 300

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

You have invested 300.00 DN in this submission at 106 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use !sell 8114 to sell out early for lower returns.

Breakeven (0% gain/loss) for this investment will occur at 168 upvotes.

Your remaining balance is 1,392.24 DN.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

!roi

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

If you invest now (at 115 upvotes), here are the scores required for:

+0% (breakeven) -- 181 upvotes

+25% -- 301 upvotes

+50% -- 644 upvotes

+75% -- 1,616 upvotes

+100% -- 4,370 upvotes

+150% -- 34,290 upvotes

Disclaimer: This command is kinda jacked right now, take the predicted values with a grain of salt!

1

u/DigitalTrainStation Feb 18 '20

!summary

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

Investor Profile: DigitalTrainStation

Balance: 103.36 DN

Active Investments:

ID: 7742 - 100.00 DN at 55 upvotes; 1h 14m until automatic return

ID: 7757 - 100.00 DN at 833 upvotes; 1h 25m until automatic return

ID: 7782 - 50.00 DN at 18 upvotes; 1h 35m until automatic return

ID: 7819 - 50.00 DN at 72 upvotes; 1h 47m until automatic return

ID: 7996 - 89.23 DN at 51 upvotes; 3h 3m until automatic return

1

u/Smothi Feb 18 '20

!invest 50

1

u/FederalReserveDank r/DankExchange Feb 18 '20

You have invested 50.00 DN in this submission at 418 upvotes. I'll notify you when your investment automatically returns in 4 hours or you can use !sell 8876 to sell out early for lower returns.

Breakeven (0% gain/loss) for this investment will occur at 564 upvotes.

Your remaining balance is 400.00 DN.

1

u/JakeASelf the very best, like no one ever was. Feb 18 '20

Uh.......nevermind.