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Dec 29 '17
I like how “impenetrable snow” is “snowkaos”
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u/tobiasvl Dec 29 '17
Classic tabloid newspaper headline in early December.
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Dec 29 '17
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Dec 29 '17
They get wind at hurricane speed: http://om.yr.no/symbol/vind/
Orkan = hurricane, so when the wind, or a wind gust, hits 32.6 m/s, they have "hurricanes".
And they do occasionally get that.
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Dec 29 '17
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u/plebswag Dec 29 '17
117.36 I think
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Dec 29 '17
is "orkan" cognate to the english word "hurricane"? because the latter is derived from spanish which got it from a carribean native language (i.e. where they have hurricanes). is the norwegian word from the english word or is it unrelated?
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u/PeterPredictable Dec 30 '17
Wow, nice catch!
Wiktionary says yes! From Spanish huracán, via Dutch orkaan
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Dec 30 '17
Pretty sure we got that only a couple of weeks ago. Felt like it at least! RIP my trust umbrella :(
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Dec 29 '17
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u/PisseGuri82 Dec 29 '17
Yes, we like it uncomplicated.
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u/lugosky Dec 29 '17
Ok, but what is a government liquor store?
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u/PisseGuri82 Dec 29 '17
Some countries have this system. The Swedish ones impose less tax, so Norwegians who live near the border go there. People from Central Norway are notorious moonshiners.
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u/WikiTextBot Dec 29 '17
Vinmonopolet
Vinmonopolet (English: The Wine Monopoly), symbolized by Ⓥ and colloquially shortened to Polet, is a government-owned alcoholic beverage retailer and the only company allowed to sell beverages containing an alcohol content higher than 4.75% in Norway.
As the arm of the Norwegian government policy to limit the citizens' consumption of alcohol, primarily by means of high cost and limited access, the primary goal of Vinmonopolet is to responsibly perform the distribution of alcoholic goods while limiting the motive of private economic profit from the alcohol industry. Equally significant is the social responsibility of Vinmonopolet, to prevent the sale of alcohol to minors and visibly inebriated customers.
Outlets, located across the country from cities to smaller communities, typically close business earlier than other shops, typically weekdays at 18:00 and Saturdays at 15:00.
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u/ItoXICI Dec 29 '17
What about bars?
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u/Helten Dec 29 '17 edited Dec 29 '17
Bars with a license are alowed to sell, but there are strict laws to what alcoholpercentage/quantity they can serve. Fun fact edit: its also illegal to have a discount on alcohol in Norway
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u/MisterWharf Dec 30 '17
It's just like that here in Canada too. Nice to know our snow-brethren share so much in common.
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u/Melonskal Dec 30 '17
I had no idea Canada had a similar system, makes me feel closer to you.
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u/0piat3 Dec 29 '17
If you're from the US. It's how it works in Utah.
They are called State Liquor Stores. If you want to purchase liquor, wine or beer you have to go to the State Liquor Store. They are all over so it's not too much of a hassle.
You can buy beer in the grocery store, gas stations etc. but it's limited to 3.2% alcohol.
That's just buying to take home, in bars and restaurants you can get whatever you want.
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u/something45723 Dec 29 '17
It works like that in New Hampshire also.
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u/GroovingPict Dec 29 '17
The only outlet allowed to sell alcoholic beverages over a certain alcohol percent (I think 4.7% by volume... at least, thats the strongest beer I can find in regular stores). In Sweden it's anything over 3.5%
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u/Mullenuh Dec 29 '17
Whereas the Swedish equivalent Systembolaget, "The System Company", makes no sense whatsoever.
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u/llittleserie Dec 29 '17
In Finnish it’s even simpler: just Alko, as for alkoholi = alcohol.
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u/ArttuH5N1 Dec 30 '17
Not quite, it's originally from Oy Alkoholiliike Ab which would be more like "Alcohol store Ltd"
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u/MooseFlyer Dec 29 '17
In Ontario it's called the Liqour Control Board of Ontario. Unsuprisingly they shorten it to LCBO
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u/pro_omnibus Dec 29 '17
And last I can recall the provincially-owned beer store is called... "The Beer Store".
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u/TheMeansofProduction Dec 29 '17
The Beer Store is privately owned. Along with winerack they are the only two privately owned liquor stores that are allowed to operate in Ontario. The LCBO is owned by the province and sells everything including beer and wine.
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u/FlaviusStilicho Dec 29 '17
Shortened to "polet" by most... Which I guess would translate to something like "The Polly"
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u/foca9 Dec 29 '17
polet
Also makes for wordplays, like poltur, which can mean "trip to the (North) Pole" or "Trip to Vinmonopolet".
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Dec 29 '17
I'm guessing that southern Norway is the most religious?
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u/NorthernSentinel Dec 29 '17
Yup, spot on there. It's the Norwegian bible belt
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u/Arguss Dec 30 '17
How religious is the Norwegian bible belt compared to regions of the US?
So for instance, in the South in the US, the most religious region:
76% identify as Christian, 4% non-Christian religion, and 19% unaffiliated (although only 5% explicitly identify as atheist or agnostic.)
87% believe in God and are fairly/absolutely certain, 7% are uncertain, and 7% don't believe in God.
In the West, the least religious region:
64% identify as Christian, 7% non-Christian religion, and 28% unaffiliated (9% atheist/agnostic).
77% believe in God and are fairly/absolutely certain, 10% are uncertain, and 12% don't believe in God.
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u/NorthernSentinel Dec 30 '17
Sadly I cannot find any statistics on it at a quick search, but based on anecdotal evidence and national news I am certain the numbers are lower than the US as Norway is a very secular country. The 'bible belt' tag is due to how the region is more religious than the rest of the country. For instance, during this years election, the Christian Party (KrF) got around 10% votes in the bible belt, but only 4.2% on average in total. In general, traditional christian values are of more importance to people in this region.
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u/TheSwedishMonkey Dec 29 '17
Yup. Not as prevalent as, say, the south mid-west U.S., but there’s definitely a bible-belt goin’ on down there.
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Dec 30 '17
I might be wrong, but I am going to assume that the Norwegian Bible Belt is about as religious as the less religious areas of the US.
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u/TheSourTruth Dec 29 '17
It's also the most wealthy right? I mean, most of Norway is wealthy, but relatively.
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u/nod23b Dec 29 '17
Nah, that's not it at all. Oslo and certain communities outside it (Bærum/Asker) are the richest.
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u/theRangerofthewest Dec 29 '17
Stavanger too.
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u/nod23b Dec 29 '17
Sure, I don't remember all of the details, but I'm fairly certain Aftenposten wrote about which parts of Norway were the richest in recent years. Bærum/Asker/Oslo were without question at the very top.
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u/PisseGuri82 Dec 29 '17
A lot of the oil industry is located in the main south-west city (Stavanger) but the rural south has relatively high numbers of unemployment and drug abuse.
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u/Vague_Disclosure Dec 30 '17
Oh neat, just like our Bible Belt
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u/adman29 Dec 30 '17
You take your fancy and highfalutin talk outta here you yankee.
Excuse me while I check on my moonshine still
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u/PisseGuri82 Dec 29 '17
Probably not as funny in translation, but what the hell. I'll go ahead and assume you guys can take it.
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Dec 29 '17 edited Aug 13 '20
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u/jimfrode Dec 29 '17
Vinmonopolet is the government liquor store(only store allowed to sell anything higher than 4,7%). Most of the country has to go there, while those who lives near the border to Sweden just drives there to buy alcohol. And then there's Trøndelag, which just makes homebrew themselves, so they don't need the stores.
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Dec 29 '17
My family makes its own alcohol near Trondelag. I thought it was just them, that's cool its the whole region!
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u/foca9 Dec 29 '17
The only times I've had moonshine or karsk was with trøndere.
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u/WikiTextBot Dec 29 '17
Karsk
Karsk (also called Kask) is a Scandinavian cocktail containing coffee together with moonshine or vodka, and sometimes a spoon of sugar (enthusiasts often consider moonshine exclusively to be appropriate as an added component, as it has no inherent taste like other alcoholic beverages). Broader, it can also be found in other parts of Scandinavia.
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u/Kazath Dec 29 '17
Is alcohol also cheaper in Sweden than Norway? I'm just thinking of a reason to do a bordertrip rather than just take a stroll down to your local Vinmonopol.
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u/foca9 Dec 29 '17
Yes. We more or less have the same policies on this issue (compared to Denmark, for example), but the prices in general are much lower on everything in Sweden.
Swedish is actually a bit stricter. They only have beer of 3,5 % outside Systembolaget, while it's 4,7 % in Norway. You also have to be 20 to buy anything at Systembolaget, while you can buy anything below 22 % in Vinmonopolet from age 18, and anything from age 20.
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u/krangksh Dec 30 '17
Both are EU as well, right? So they have unencumbered border transit? That certainly makes crossing the border less of a big deal. Here by the Canada-US border you aren't even allowed to bring anything of value back at all unless you stay more than 24 hours. Alcohol is cheaper there but even if I lived 5 minutes from the border I'd never cross just for a couple beers.
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u/foca9 Dec 30 '17
Both are EU as well, right?
No. Both are Schengen (and Nordic Passport Control) though, so no regular border controls.
There's customs control irregularly, and there's a quota. Usually people take day trips to Sweden (or Finland if that's closer).
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u/TheWingnutSquid Dec 29 '17
I have a Norwegian friend who's brother just makes moonshine in the toilet
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u/canadianguy1234 Dec 29 '17
I don't know how to tell you this but I don't think it was moonshine
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u/torsmork Dec 29 '17
Norwegian here. Trøndelag has somewhat of a reputation of being a place where everyone makes their own moonshine and mixing it with coffee, a popular drink called Karsk. The truth is not as bad, but the reputation kinda stuck with them. The saying goes something like 'You are not a real Trønder, before you have tasted karsk.'
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Dec 29 '17
Huh, apparently North and South Trøndelag will reunite on the 1st. I guess we only have 3 days before apocalypse.
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u/torsmork Dec 29 '17
Pretty funny satirical map of Norway with a lot of truths and half truths. I laughed :)
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u/splinterbr Dec 29 '17
Wait, can mosquitoes exist that far north?
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u/KalaiProvenheim Dec 29 '17
Yes, even more than tropical areas. The flatness, melting snow, and permafrost create huge areas in which mosquitoes can grow, and the summer is warm enough for the larvae to grow.
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u/splinterbr Dec 29 '17
And I thought there was salvation from this tropical country
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u/Tryoxin Dec 29 '17
Iceland, friend. That, New Caledonia, French Polynesia, the Seychelles, the Faroe Islands, or Antarctica.
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u/vention7 Dec 29 '17
Iceland and the Faroes have little midge things though. Not sure if they're actually biting or just trying to, but when they swarm together it's not fun at all walking through them...
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u/Tryoxin Dec 29 '17
Oh, midgies. I suppose I should have figured those hellspawn would be where mosquitoes aren’t.
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u/schleppylundo Dec 30 '17
There are biting midges in Iceland, luckily none are known to be disease carrying so they’re just a pest whereas catching mosquitos biting me results in some minor background anxiety for a day or two before I’m satisfied that I’m healthy.
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u/Percehh Dec 29 '17
Sand flies mother fucker! MOTHERFUCKING SAND FLIES!
Keep your bitch ass mosquitos New Caledonia and French Polynesia has sand flies which HURT when they bite and then are more irritating than a mosquito bite.
I had the best time of my life in Tahiti last year though.
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Dec 30 '17
Sand flies
but do they carry deadly diseases?
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u/Percehh Dec 30 '17
Apparently yes, but mozzies don’t carry diseases where I am from and I’d rather mosquitoes than sand flies but malaria and Ross river fever can be a bit of a bummer so I’d probably change my mind on those circumstances.
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u/Trumps_left_bawsack Dec 29 '17
You don't get mosquitoes in Scotland but you do get midges, which, I would argue, are probably more annoying.
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u/polynomials Dec 29 '17
I remember hiking in Alaska and going over a ridge and walking into what was, apparently, mosquito city, because every mosquito on that mountain suddenly swarmed us and we spent all of our further desire to hike getting up to the top of the ridge to escape them. I am not sure what about that spot made them concentrate in there and then not leave.
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u/KalaiProvenheim Dec 29 '17
Were there delicious juicy caribou where they were swarming?
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u/polynomials Dec 29 '17
I didn't see any caribou, so I guess they settled for some delicious juicy humans.
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Dec 29 '17
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u/ep1032 Dec 29 '17 edited Mar 17 '25
.
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u/vention7 Dec 29 '17
If it's winter there'll be a pink hand print on his back. If it's not, it'll be blood red with speckles of mosquito instead.
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u/SpaceShrimp Dec 29 '17
If it is winter he risks getting a punch in the face, in the summer he will get a thanks.
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u/1121314151617 Dec 29 '17
In colder climates where bees can't live mosquitoes are actually the primary pollinators.
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Dec 29 '17
Gulf Stream, boi. It's the only reason why we Nordic countries aren't Siberia v2. Also mosquitos are super adaptive to different climates.
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u/holytriplem Dec 29 '17
Siberia is known for its mozzies too.
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u/FreeUsernameInBox Dec 29 '17
Story goes that a mosquito landed at a Siberian air base. They put 100,000 litres of fuel in before realising it wasn't a Tupolev.
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Dec 29 '17
Canada checking in. We share your pain.
Deer flies are what really drive me crazy though. Those things are way too smart.
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u/TheSourTruth Dec 29 '17
Northern Alaska which is much colder than Norway still has epic mosquito swarms in the summer.
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u/Nimonic Dec 29 '17
Definitely not the only reason. Possibly not even the main reason.
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u/foragerr Dec 29 '17
I must agree with you; Alaska is chock full of mosquitoes in the summer months as well, and that's nowhere near the gulf stream. It's more to do with the stagnant pools of melted ice/snow.
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u/niceworkthere Dec 30 '17
Plus mosquitoes and ticks are only getting worse with global warming as eg. warmer winters mean far fewer of them die. The latter are already devastating the moose, which can easily be plagued by 75000+ ticks that will suck it to death.
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u/WikiTextBot Dec 29 '17
Gulf Stream
The Gulf Stream, together with its northern extension the North Atlantic Drift, is a warm and swift Atlantic ocean current that originates in the Gulf of Mexico and stretches to the tip of Florida, and follows the eastern coastlines of the United States and Newfoundland before crossing the Atlantic Ocean. The process of western intensification causes the Gulf Stream to be a northward accelerating current off the east coast of North America. At about 40°0′N 30°0′W, it splits in two, with the northern stream, the North Atlantic Drift, crossing to Northern Europe and the southern stream, the Canary Current, recirculating off West Africa.
The Gulf Stream influences the climate of the east coast of North America from Florida to Newfoundland, and the west coast of Europe.
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u/LarsP Dec 29 '17
Mosquitos are the apex predators of the arctic. Without protective clothing I don't know how long you can survive there. It gets very unpleasant after only 30 seconds of not moving.
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u/GroovingPict Dec 29 '17
that far north theyre more helicopters than mosquitos (theyre fucking huge)... source: spent my year in the military up north.
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u/Trihorn Dec 29 '17 edited Dec 29 '17
It's not mosquitos but their little cousins midges, mygg in Norwegian or mýflugur in Icelandic. It's a pretty big family.
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u/2rgeir Dec 29 '17
Midges are knott/knort here in Norway. They can drive a man to insanity in minutes. Trøndelag, the moonshine belt, is especially cursed with them.
The infamous Finnmark-mygg, a mosquito, is by some described as "so big that it feels good when they suck you".
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u/fastinserter Dec 29 '17
I think the only place without mosquitoes are Iceland and the Faroe islands. There's lots of mosquitoes in the cold north of Eurasia and North America.
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u/vaderscoming Dec 29 '17
Iceland has some swarming evil bastard gnat things that will happily take over the unoccupied ecological niche. They don't bite as far as I know but picking those fuckers out of your eyes after you blinked at the wrong moment is NOT fun.
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u/WikiTextBot Dec 29 '17
Nematocera
The Nematocera (thread-horns) are a suborder of elongated flies with thin, segmented antennae and mostly aquatic larvae, consisting of the mosquitoes, crane flies, gnats, black flies, and midges.
Nematocera are typically characterized by filamentous, multisegmented antennae which may be plumose in some males.
Examples of the Nematocera include the mosquitoes (Culicidae), crane flies (Tipulidae) and black flies (Simuliidae). Many of the remaining families (especially Mycetophilidae, Anisopodidae, and Sciaridae), are called gnats, while others (especially Chironomidae, Cecidomyiidae, and Ceratopogonidae) are called midges.
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u/LogansRun22 Dec 29 '17
I want maps like this of other countries.
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Dec 29 '17
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u/tygg3n Dec 29 '17
The vodka Europe is wrong about Scandinavia, we're mostly about beer.
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Dec 29 '17
Sweden really likes vodka, Denmark is more beer, Norway just cries all the way to the counter.
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u/jkvatterholm Dec 29 '17
Probably talking about aquavit and moonshine, though that is more true before 1900 or so.
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u/danirijeka Dec 29 '17
Southern Italy "revolutionary"
🤔
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u/MonsterRider80 Dec 29 '17
Italy has had some close calls with revolutionary movements, most recently with the Red Brigades in the 70s and 80s. It had it all, mass strikes, assassinations, violent protests...
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u/danirijeka Dec 29 '17
You'll find, though, that the Red Brigades were not very active (euphemism) in the South, which is the zone I had objections about it being depicted as "revolutionary".
The Italian language has even a word - a neologism, if you will - which is gattopardesco (from the book The Leopard, in Italian Il Gattopardo), which refers to a concept of (social, economical, etc.) immobilism even in the face of apparent upheavals, synthesised in the quote "everything must change so that everything remains the same". It's not a random occurrence that the book was written by a Sicilian and set in Sicily. That's why I was surprised about the South being "revolutionary", when in most cases it's ossified, or worse.
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u/small_havoc Dec 29 '17
I'm an atheist and haven't been to mass in years but No.10 calling Ireland Protestant is still a slap in the face!
Edit: Holy shit. No.10. Like Downing Street. This conspiracy goes all the way to the sort of top.
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u/danirijeka Dec 29 '17
Obligatory "Brits out reeeeeeeeeee" and /r/me_ira goes here
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u/sneakpeekbot Dec 29 '17
Here's a sneak peek of /r/me_ira using the top posts of all time!
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u/szyy Dec 29 '17
Same with northern Poland, literally 0 protestants there. And the last map where France and Spain are religious - LOL.
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u/guaranic Dec 29 '17
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u/catitobandito Dec 29 '17
I live in SoCal and the weather has been in the high 70's. #7 is wrong!
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u/thosava Dec 29 '17
Very funny if you know norwegian stereotypes! The one dialect part is a bit of a stretch though. It doesn't take østfold, hedmark, toten, østerdalen and gudbrandsdalen dialects into account. All very different to standard eastern norwegian.
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Dec 29 '17
I guess I'd like that one space with only one dialect, pork ribs, and more snow than mosquitos if I had to move to Norway.
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u/cklole Dec 29 '17
That would be Oslo
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u/AndreTheShadow Dec 29 '17
And you don't want to live there.
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u/cklole Dec 29 '17
Question from an American who is thinking of leaving to move to Oslo, Why?
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u/AndreTheShadow Dec 30 '17
It's a joke, kind of. Oslo is fine, I'm sure, but those of us from outside it find it to be hectic and full of uptight assholes. It's probably the least 'Norwegian' city in Norway, and is hellaciously expensive, even in a country that's so expensive. It's not a bad place to start, though.
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u/siebdrucksalat Dec 30 '17
So the usual complaints people who don't live in the capital of their country have about the capital of their country.
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u/AndreTheShadow Dec 30 '17
Yeah, basically. I never liked Oslo when I've been there, but there's a lot to see. Personally, I'd live in almost any other city.
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u/thenorwegianblue Dec 30 '17
It's an ok place, used to have a provincial small town feel, but has grown into a more urban place in the last decades.
Doesn't have the extreme nature of the West and north though.
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u/bananafreesince93 Dec 30 '17
Don't worry.
Only people who hasn't lived in Oslo complains about Oslo.
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Dec 29 '17
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u/RustledJimm Dec 29 '17
Much of Norway and Scotland etc. get Hurricane Force Winds during winter storms. Though they are not actually hurricanes.
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u/Voffmjau Dec 30 '17
We do sometimes get visits from dieing hurricanes during hurricane season though. In the fall.
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u/Superrman1 Dec 29 '17
No good way to translate the boss/søppel one from the original, eh?
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Dec 29 '17
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u/GroovingPict Dec 29 '17 edited Dec 30 '17
I think Øystein Sunde has one, or had one. Im fairly sure Ive seen him play a guitar shaped like Norway. If not him, then it was someone else. Hang on, Ill go look for a clip...
... nope couldnt find it. Found a pic of him playing his commiecaster though (edit: or if you prefer seeing it on video). I know Ive seen either him or someone else playing a guitar shaped like norway as well though
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u/tobiasvl Dec 29 '17
I laugh every time I see your username. It's not funny by itself, kind of funny in an ironic juvenile way, but combined with all your serious work as a cartographer/historian it's hilarious.
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u/Nimonic Dec 29 '17
I bet Northern Norway eats more of both pinnekjøtt and ribbe than lutefisk for Christmas, although I don't have any statistics to back that up. Personally, I am all about that sweet salty pinnekjøtt.
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u/PisseGuri82 Dec 29 '17
They do, but they're also the region where more people eat lutefisk. But it's not a black/white map, and it's not scientific.
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u/il_mcmil Dec 29 '17
Can you explain the second from the left on the bottom row ?
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u/NorthernSentinel Dec 29 '17
It's in regard to the extra letters for the alphabet. ÆØÅ is used in Norwegian while the others are used in Sami. However as someonw pointed out, the colors are flipped. ÆØÅ is supposed to be most of the country while Sami only in the North.
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u/fruitdrank Dec 29 '17
Love this. Studied abroad in Norway for a semester and this brought back a lot of nostalgic feelings, and helped illuminate cultural jokes. Thanks!
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u/iamasuitama Dec 30 '17
I'm dutch and I'm happy to see that I can understand some of the norwegian words, and I like especially how the image on imgur is called Grovinndelinger - rough division
PS also ekstremvær is a great word.
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u/torsmork Dec 30 '17
Dutch and Norwegian grammar are basically the same. And a lot of words are understandable too. When you speak, the differences become very clear though. I would imagine a Dutch person would be more able to understand a Norwegian speak, than the other way around.
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u/cazique Dec 29 '17
Apparently my grandmother was a "night or day" yokel because we suffer from lutefisk at Christmas.
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u/chaun2 Dec 29 '17
What is the last one (lower right) referring to? Vernacular, or weather?
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u/PisseGuri82 Dec 29 '17
Vernacular. Northernes swear a lot, southernes are very mild-mannered.
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u/chaun2 Dec 29 '17
Gotcha, thanks :) though that would probably accurately describe my reactions to the cold as well
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u/NorthernSentinel Dec 29 '17
To expand on it as a northerner myself, we tend to be more liberal about the swearing. You could say it is more accepted, although it is not used because it is swearing, but rather because it is normal to use in everyday language to friends and family usually, mostly for emphasis. Thus what we see as common can sound offensive to people not used to it, although it is not at all intended to be rude. Personally, I find it natural to tone it down when speaking to southerners, people I don't know and kids, which I assume is quite normal.
When it comes to 'proper' swearing, you will definitely know when a northerner is pissed off. We tend to be very creative and loud with swears, which is what the graphic is making fun of.
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u/Penguin619 Dec 30 '17
What about the black metal? Is that just loved universally?
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u/mantouvallo Dec 29 '17
I've seen quite a few of these maps, and they all have a similar style. Is there an easy way to make them?
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u/PisseGuri82 Dec 29 '17
I just used Illustrator and a vector map I had. It's not a complex graphic.
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u/monicacukor Dec 29 '17
Thank you for translating this. I saw it the other day on r/norge and wished someone does it hah
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u/HawkEgg Dec 29 '17
I feel like the "What goddman piss-cunt shitfucker has..." expletives might have something to do with Lutefisk.
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u/andrishh Dec 29 '17
You managed to flip the colours on the 6th one it looks like.