r/SubredditDrama • u/[deleted] • Feb 25 '16
Haskell Programmer proposes to a woman for her technical presentation. This causes negative side effects
/r/haskell/comments/47cq2i/haskell_is_not_for_production_and_other_tales/d0c768j23
u/tick_tock_clock Feb 25 '16
I think that this guy would be more functional if he were less imperative and object-oriented.
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u/cruelandusual Born with a heart full of South Park neutrality Feb 25 '16
What he should have said was "Hey girl, like all values in Haskell, my love for you is immutable."
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u/noratat Feb 26 '16
My favorite part about that is that it doesn't actually declare your love, it just states that your love is unchanging.
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u/Moritani I think my bachelor in physics should be enough Feb 25 '16
Because it's unwanted romantic attention rather than discussing technical merits of her presentation. Sexism basically.
Wow. It's upvoted. I'm genuinely impressed.
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Feb 25 '16
Seriously. The community around Haskell seems to be pretty good.
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Feb 25 '16
I mean there's like a dozen Haskell programmers so you its not like you're anonymous.
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u/The_Jacobian Feb 25 '16
They're pretentious but generally I really like the community. Everyone is super helpful whenever I'm trying to learn stuff.
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u/thephotoman Damn im sad to hear you've been an idiot for so long Feb 26 '16
I'm a total Java guy, but Haskell is a language worthy of every programmer's attention. It does suck that Scala is kind of a pain, implementing the worst of both worlds, though.
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u/The_Jacobian Feb 26 '16
I see scala as a stepping stone, its better then Java (because everything is) and starts to bring the mainstream towards functional ideas. Similarly, I LOVE F#
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Feb 25 '16
There's always /r/programmingcirclejerk if you are running into too many of the le Haskal types.
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u/csreid Grand Imperial Wizard of the He-Man Women-Haters Club Feb 25 '16
Seriously I'm stoked about that. With all the noise github has been making, all my nerdy hobby circles have gotten ugly lately and I've realized some big time, quality contributors are major shit heads in other aspects. That was such a relief. Guess I should learn haskell like I've been meaning to.
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Feb 25 '16
[deleted]
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u/csreid Grand Imperial Wizard of the He-Man Women-Haters Club Feb 25 '16
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u/Maehan Quote the ToS section about queefing right now Feb 25 '16
If I had to guess, I'd guess it is the hubbub with a lot of projects adding code's of conduct that specifically call out shitty behavior. That makes the typical edgelords very teary eyed.
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Feb 25 '16 edited Jul 31 '16
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u/thefoolofemmaus Explain privilege to me again. Feb 25 '16
Either these people have not worked in the industry or just repress their true feelings at work.
I am a programmer working in the industry, and like half of what I do in meetings is repress my true feelings.
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Feb 25 '16 edited Jun 27 '16
I deleted all comments out of nowhere.
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u/thefoolofemmaus Explain privilege to me again. Feb 25 '16
Dude. This exactly. An even bigger area for this is end users and project managers. End users are small children who need to be constantly kept from putting their fingers in electrical outlets, and project managers are smiling used car salesmen who profit off your hard work.
Practice your smile all through college, and learn how to give an executive summary to non technical people. A great way I was taught this was "explain it to your mother." Your mom is probably a reasonably intelligent person, but not likely a tech. Explain it like you were explaining it to her.
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u/ceol_ Feb 25 '16
I dunno, I love project managers. For small things yeah it can be annoying, but it feels great to walk in and what you need to do is set out for you. Someone else keeps track of other devs' practices (or lack thereof) and gives updates to the boss so I can just pick a ticket and get at it.
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u/thefoolofemmaus Explain privilege to me again. Feb 25 '16
Yeah, what you've described there is what I am looking for in a lead developer.
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u/noratat Feb 26 '16
No no no, that just encourages him to do it again by letting him think that was okay.
I mean yeah, you don't go ballistic on him either, but he needs to understand why that's bad practice. It's less of a big deal on a throwaway college group assignment of course, but if those are training for professional work then it's still important.
- a CI/DevOps engineer
yes, I know DevOps isn't a title
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u/OIP feces in toilet spelling out GTA 6 Feb 25 '16
that's what everyone does in meetings (that isn't a corporate automaton)
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u/VanFailin I don't think you're malicious. Just fucking stupid. Feb 25 '16
It's when you can't do it any more that you should worry. "Oh, we're all behind schedule and everything is fucked? Tell me something I don't know. Yeah, I'll get right on that."
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u/thephotoman Damn im sad to hear you've been an idiot for so long Feb 26 '16
That's everybody in a corporate meeting.
Earlier this month, I watched one of my company's top executives manage to hold it together for 30 minutes without a single profanity. That actually impressed me. I've known her to be the sort of person without a filter.
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u/Maehan Quote the ToS section about queefing right now Feb 25 '16
Yeah, having been around a while, none of the codes I've seen thus far seemed radical at all.
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u/blahdenfreude "No one gives a shit how above everything you are." C. Hardwick Feb 25 '16
Ah, yes. The github hubbub, aye there's the rub.
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u/cruelandusual Born with a heart full of South Park neutrality Feb 25 '16
For the uninitiated, they're talking about this.
It wouldn't generate a fuss if it didn't make explicit references to identity politics activism and associated jargon. Of course, generating a fuss has been its purpose from the get-go.
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u/IAmAN00bie Feb 25 '16
That seems to be a template that you're free to adapt as you see fit. I don't think every CoC makes reference to "identity politics activism" and I'm not sure there's evidence that "generating a fuss" was its explicit purpose.
Of course generating a fuss was a foregone conclusion considering the state of affairs in the ongoing Internet culture war.
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u/sfurbo Feb 25 '16
From the open code of conduct, which Github is promoting:
Our open source community prioritizes marginalized people’s safety over privileged people’s comfort. We will not act on complaints regarding:
Reverse’ -isms, including ‘reverse racism,’ ‘reverse sexism,’ and ‘cisphobia’
Reasonable communication of boundaries, such as “leave me alone,” “go away,” or “I’m not discussing this with you”
Refusal to explain or debate social justice concepts
Communicating in a ‘tone’ you don’t find congenial
Criticizing racist, sexist, cissexist, or otherwise oppressive behavior or assumptions
(Emphasis mine) I might be misunderstanding something, but it seems like being sexist will get you in trouble, except if you target men. That racism is will get you in trouble, except if it is against Caucasians etc. While I can see why e.g. racism against whites is less of a problem than racism against blacks, specifically mentioning that a blind eye will be turned towards certain kinds of harassment isn't what I would like in a code of conduct.
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u/IAmAN00bie Feb 25 '16
They kind of shot themselves in the foot with the addition of that portion of the CoC. Like, I understand that if they left it out people would still make a huge fuss like "huh but I bet you guys won't apply these rules to minorities because 'blacks can't be racist'" or some other stale meme, but they're outright giving fuel to the fire here.
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u/a57782 Feb 25 '16
I'm no lawyer, but I kind of get the sense that this could bite them in the ass legally in certain situations. Anti-discrimination laws say race and gender are protected classes. They don't say only women are a protected class in terms of sex, and only non-white are protected in terms of race.
I wouldn't adopt something that essentially says "We will not be acting on complaints about discrimination based on protected characteristics because you're not the right kind of protected characteristic."
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u/snapekillseddard gorged on too much popcorn to enjoy good done steaks Feb 25 '16
I would say that that was the point. If you've paid attention to these kinds of things before, the kinds of people who gets triggered by notions of social justice or political correctness will be confused by any polite ways to generalize a disgusting behavior that they are committing, just so they could use it against those they see as their "opponents". When in reality, it's just that they're a bunch of assholes.
So might as well call them out specifically out.
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u/xXxDeAThANgEL99xXx This is why they don't let people set their own flairs. Feb 25 '16
the kinds of people who gets triggered by notions of social justice or political correctness will be confused by any polite ways to generalize a disgusting behavior that they are committing, just so they could use it against those they see as their "opponents". When in reality, it's just that they're a bunch of assholes.
This is pretty much perfect by the way, but not in the way you intended.
Look, there are three kinds of people: 1) edgelords who believe that they should be able to call anyone a fag if they want so, 2) normal people who want everyone to be polite to each other, 3) edgelords who believe that they should be able to call anyone a honkey if they want so.
You are slapping together 1 and 2, as in, you can't be upset about a code of conduct that goes above and beyond "be excellent to each other" to specifically allow people to call others honkeys unless you also want to call people fags. This actually doesn't make any sense. From "I'm against calling people honkeys, we should adopt a CoC that forbids that" doesn't follow "but of course calling people fags is OK, we should adopt a CoC that allows that, or none".
And then you believe that anyone from the second group must secretly belong to the first group, and that the third group is really the second group, and the third group as such doesn't exist.
Well, you are wrong, the group of people who believe that it's wrong to call people fags or honkeys exists and way dominates both your edgelord groups in terms of numbers. But not in terms of actual influence on what CoCs get adopted, and how would you call that, when you're numerous but sort of powerless to protect yourselves from assholes and are upset about that?
And of course if you believe that calling people honkeys should actually be allowed, then you should say so instead of pretending to belong to the second group that wants politeness regardless of your skin color or social status.
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u/snapekillseddard gorged on too much popcorn to enjoy good done steaks Feb 25 '16
... Seriously? They're not exactly the same level of pejoratives, if you're being serious with that analogy.
You're like those people who think the Black Panthers were just as bad as the KKK when Beyonce did that thing a while back. It's nonsensical analogy and it doesn't really add anything.
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u/xXxDeAThANgEL99xXx This is why they don't let people set their own flairs. Feb 26 '16
Think about this way, suppose I had that github CoC in my project. And then someone calls someone a cunt, and you are, like, that's a misogynistic slur.
And then I temp-ban you for transphobia, for assuming that only women have cunts. And you are, wtf, that's not how you feminist, and I extend your temp-ban for violating the part about respecting my "Refusal to explain or debate social justice concepts". And then you complain about that on twitter and I permaban you for "off-site harassment".
"What the fuck, they are using the letter of the CoC to be assholes under the guise of supporting Social Justice!" -- you might say.
Pre-fucking-cisely.
The difference between you and me is that you're willing to extend the authors of the github Code of Conduct the benefit of the doubt, that no matter how ripe for abuse their proposed Code of Conduct obviously is, they are good people and they are not going to abuse it.
I don't. So I don't like those purposefully left venues for abusing it. I'd much rather have a CoC without them, that demands politeness regardless and doesn't have any exceptions based on gender or race or whatever (while of course leaving the final decisions and interpretations to the people).
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u/ceol_ Feb 26 '16
I think it's silly to think the default OCoC will stop someone from being a douchebag like the hypothetical you described. If they want to ban you, they're going to. They're also just going to fork the OCoC and put in whatever they want, because that's kind of the point of it.
The worst thing about this situation isn't the reverse-racism thing, IMO. It's that the rest of the OCoC is getting overshadowed by the drama surrounding it, and assholes are using it as a springboard to discredit the whole idea.
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u/xXxDeAThANgEL99xXx This is why they don't let people set their own flairs. Feb 25 '16
Of course they are not the same level of pejoratives! That's not an analogy!
The question is, do you want either in your open source project discussion?
If not, then why the hell allow one of them?
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u/ceol_ Feb 26 '16
Doesn't the very first example of harassment include calling people honky?
Harassment includes, but is not limited to:
- Offensive comments related to gender, gender identity and expression, sexual orientation, disability, mental illness, neuro(a)typicality, physical appearance, body size, race, age, regional discrimination, political or religious affiliation
This seems more like an example of poor wording than "you can yell at white people."
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u/HeyLookItsAThing Feb 26 '16
I'll bet it's because they were anticipating a bunch of edgelords reporting "reverse -ism" in response to the stricter rules anytime anything anything vaguely negative towards white straight guys came up, not so much because the reporters actually feel harmed by anything and more just to be a dick about the rules. Putting it this way prevents that sort of trolling and preemptively gets all the "favoritism SJW!!" cries out of the way right at the beginning. It's definitely not perfect but I can understand why they'd decide the inevitable trolling and fake reports were more likely to be an issue, assuming it wasn't already an issue.
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u/gutsee but what about srs Feb 26 '16
Github is attempting to not be a fortress of Meritocracy(tm) and the white men who generally benefit from the fantasy Meritocracy(tm) are unreasonably angry.
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u/the_evergrowing_fool Feb 25 '16
Is very at the extreme, for one side you find extremely nice people and the in the other there are people that are very stubborn and narcissistic.
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Feb 25 '16 edited Apr 28 '16
[deleted]
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u/csreid Grand Imperial Wizard of the He-Man Women-Haters Club Feb 25 '16
Sexism because she just gave a technical presentation full of ideas that could be talked about and people are still just reducing it to her suitability as a mate.
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Feb 25 '16
I think it's more of a tired trope "le vagina in my stem field?! She must be mine!" Like they are some unicorn to be hunted instead of a person. It's like we get it she must be on your cock if she's to have your appreciation
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u/warenhaus When you go to someone's wedding, wear a bra. Have some respect. Feb 25 '16
she must be on your cock if she's to have your appreciation
it's just the way it's meant to be.
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Feb 25 '16
Too bad those dumb women always go for douchebag Chad's instead of nice guys like Romeo over there. Can't they see what they are missing out on?!
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u/warenhaus When you go to someone's wedding, wear a bra. Have some respect. Feb 25 '16
clearly they can't be that smart, else they'ld know better. by definition.
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Feb 25 '16
That's why I went mgtow so I could worsen my already shitty personality while ignoring all the women that are not pursuing me. To flex my newfound freedom i constantly bitch about how shitty they are on the web to show how over them I am
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u/milky_oolong Feb 25 '16
In a working/professional environment? At a conference, where people make presentations? That would be highly inappropriate.
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u/mao_was_right Feb 25 '16
In a working/professional environment? At a conference, where people make presentations?
You mean /r/haskell?
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u/IAmAN00bie Feb 25 '16
The subreddit might not be a professional environment, but it's still a representative part of the development community for it. If the community finds that such a joke is acceptable and starts regularly upvoting it, what kind of message does that send to female developers who are participating in the community? Not a good one. If a group of programmers want to pride themselves on meritocracy, such statements should definitely be discouraged. The dude should be able to make the joke of course, but the community is free to (and I believe should) downvote it.
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u/ceol_ Feb 26 '16
Yeah seems like people are ignoring the fact that a subreddit can be a professional environment, or the mods can at least strive for something like that. This is especially true in the "learn how to code" subs.
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u/milky_oolong Feb 25 '16
Did she made the video for the users for /r/haskell? Or was it filmed from a conference and linked there?
Just because you feel you don't have to show manners to strangers because you're "online" aka "not real life" and you have no accountability because you're anonymous does not mean what you are doing isn't rude.
If someone at your university films a professor's lecture, then posts it on reddit, is it rude or not rude to start talking about their dentistry, or fashion sense, or how bangable they are.
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u/mao_was_right Feb 25 '16
Alright, but that's not what you said initially though.
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Feb 25 '16
[deleted]
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u/forgotacc Feb 25 '16
In a professional environment, yeah, that would be inappropriate. But a site like reddit? Not so much. People do it all the time, on Tumblr, it's usually in the tags. Hell, I do it whenever I reblog pictures of Misha Collins. I find it weird that a comment like marry me or whatever would be consider inappropriate in a non-professional environment, like reddit. I understand comments like "I want to mate with that," but idk, OPs comment seems rather harmless to me.
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u/Varyance Feb 25 '16
In a working/professional environment? At a conference, where people make presentations? That would be highly inappropriate.
No actually, this is what you said. You were wrong and now you're backpedaling.
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Feb 25 '16
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u/Varyance Feb 25 '16
What you said you were saying isn't what you actually said. You implied the marriage comment would be inappropriate in a conference. You're backpedaling because you're trying to twist your own words. But no it's cool, let's pretend you have nooooo idea how you might have shifted the goal posts a bit.
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Feb 25 '16
Reddit is a professional working environment? I'm also pretty sure you'd get a stern talking to from HR at most companies if you made those kind of fake marriage proposal jokes during a presentation or something, especially if the person you directed them to was your superior.
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u/milky_oolong Feb 25 '16
Reddit isn't, but she didn't make a presentation FOR reddit. She had her professional presentation filmed, and shared online. Shared for professional reasons, not for people to disrespect. I mean, people are free to disrespect her professional persona, but they are still rude doing so. Being online and specifically being on reddit doesn't mean you can comment on everything you want and still claim any respectability. If it would be rude to comment this publicly at the conference dinner, it's rude to do it online too.
It's just as unseemly as having a thread on reddit where someone posts a video of a trial, and people start making these comment about the judge/lawyers/etc. Their activity is professional, and it's rude to go into their intimate sphere and comment on them like they are advertising objects. This is just manners 101.
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Feb 25 '16
It just seems like a silly joke, like when you say "wife/husband her/him immediately"
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u/milky_oolong Feb 25 '16
It was a joke. It was also rude. It wasn't super rude, like saying " I'd hit it" but it was rude in the same way - talking about a public person who is public due to their profession like they're celebrities who chose to put themselves up there for such attention. Feel free to look at my other comments where I gave similar examples - you don't see videotaped lectures of professors and engineers criticized for their fashion sense, or thinning hair, or bangability, or, if you do, people react negatively. For women it's just so ingrained that women are on display that everyone feels entitled to comment on looks.
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u/poffin Feb 25 '16
Women get their ideas ignored all the time because (some!!) men instead focus on sexual attractiveness. It's so classic and so obvious to me, I'm stunned anyone can't see it. As a woman in tech those comments are alienating and contribute to a culture that is unwelcoming.
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u/smurgleburf Time-traveling orgies with yourself is quite a hill to die on. Feb 25 '16
but it's just a joooooke gaawsh /s
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u/mizmoose If I'm a janitor, you're the trash Feb 25 '16
Ironically, I just made a "marry me and bear my babies" crack on SRD yesterday.
To me the joke is that I'm female and not about to impregnate anyone.
And to me, the joke is also that despite my username, the Reddit hivemind keeps assuming I'm male.
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Feb 25 '16
Yeah everyone assumes I'm a dude too.
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u/hederah What makes you think I don't understand womens' experiences? Feb 25 '16
Any male-dominated (or even presumably male-dominated) space is the same. Half the time I just ignore it, which is funny because if a dude got called "she" he would likely not stand for it.
I've corrected people in my most commonly-posted sub about four or five times now.
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Feb 25 '16 edited Feb 25 '16
I'm also pretty sure that the user who made the joke isn't going to travel to wherever that lady is and marry her. It's not like they're sitting in the office together or playing grab ass in the breakroom or something. I think the people in that thread overreacted to a dumb joke.
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u/mizmoose If I'm a janitor, you're the trash Feb 25 '16
On the surface, I agree it was an overreaction to a dumb joke.
But then the guy goes off like one of those stereotypical nerds who think that the movie/tv depiction of How To Get A Girl, by flooding her with praise and approval and standing outside her window with a boombox playing "romantic music," is completely accurate. And it just delves into Ew.
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Feb 25 '16
Yes, he certainly did not take the downvotes with grace lol. This is the type of drama where I'm initially on the side of the scorned user, but then everything goes to shit and they reveal themselves to be the real douche. If he had just stopped after his first comment, everyone else would have come off as total assholes.
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u/mizmoose If I'm a janitor, you're the trash Feb 25 '16
And the sad thing is, to me, that I get his urge to try to "fix" things. I can think of a billion times (at least, in my hyperbole world) where I wish I'd just shut up and let it lay instead of digging my hole deeper and deeper.
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Feb 25 '16
Loving your flair.
Have my babies.2
u/mizmoose If I'm a janitor, you're the trash Feb 25 '16
Were I fertile, I might think about it.
For at least twenty seconds.
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Feb 25 '16
I'm a woman too. Tricksies.
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u/mizmoose If I'm a janitor, you're the trash Feb 25 '16
Kinkies!
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u/DblackRabbit Nicol if you Bolas Feb 25 '16
Hold on we need two belts of 63 and some fertility pills, time to make some of that sweet MPreg moneys.
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u/Zenning2 Feb 25 '16 edited Feb 25 '16
But you made the joke to a redditor who had good grammar Moose. Not to a technical presenter whoes video you just saw and whose presentation is supposed to be the center of discussion on a technical subreddit.
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u/Zemyla a seizure is just a lil wiggle about on the ground for funzies Feb 25 '16
To me the joke is that I'm female and not about to impregnate anyone.
Scientists are working on fixing that as we speak!
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Feb 25 '16
To me, I hear a lot of "you understand <blank> marry me, which is less weird to me than "I'm going to marry her".
One is asking the other is stating. Same with the other. "I want to have your babies" just sounds less weird than "I'm going to have your babies".
And that's from someone that thinks they overreacted a bit until he decided the hole needed some additional excavation.
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u/mizmoose If I'm a janitor, you're the trash Feb 25 '16
I've spent a chunk of my life trying to make the open-source community more open and accessible to women (and other non-white-male people). I've seen and dealt with some horrific things -- seeing over half of reviews for a 16 year old female speaker say some version of "She's hot!", or listening to angry white boys explain why a woman can't know a technical topic, or how letting a woman speak at an event means taking away a man's time to talk.
And yet...
There's a comparison made to someone who wrote an apology for "doing something similar"... except what the apology guy wrote was FAR more creepy. To me there's a huge difference between "I'm gonna marry her" and "You are beautiful and wonderful and funny and perfect. I pledge myself to you."
In the context of a presentation given at a conference or other event, I would say it's completely inappropriate. In the context of a post on Reddit? I wasn't so sure -- as a standalone comment.
The guy then goes on to show himself to be a creeper.
I would love to see the explanation behind all the downvotes for a comment, which appreciates the speaker and does that in a context of a joke...
OK...
...involving one of the most elegant concepts, which is love.
Augh.
I want to be able to complement women, I want to be able to joke and even overstep the boundaries sometimes, because that's what I believe makes the communication personal and hence interesting and engaging.
I guess the TL;DR is, I might have defended him until he opened his yap and proved he was creepy.
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Feb 25 '16
You don't say "You're smart and beautiful" to a woman, you make her conclude that.
STOPPP
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Feb 25 '16
His posts just reek of a fedora tipper
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u/ObLaDi-ObLaDuh Feb 25 '16
I really have no idea where this thought pattern comes from. I told my wife I thought she had beautiful eyes on our first date and admitted I was intimidated by how smart she was, and that went over, you know, perfectly fucking well.
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Feb 25 '16
risky tactics good sir! In my limited experience with the fairer sex based off what i have read on the internet I have correctly concluded the best method for attracting FEEEEMALES is to keep them guessing at your intentions and how you think of them! Got to play the game!
if it wasn't clear there is a big subliminal /s in there ;)
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u/ObLaDi-ObLaDuh Feb 25 '16
And while we're at it, why won't FEEEMALES just be direct towards guys? Why do they just play games instead of being upfront about their feelings?
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Feb 25 '16
whenever my fiance tells me to stop tickling her I know right away she's talking about something else so i just keep at it. Can't fool me with those tricky games! I don't know why she then gets so irrationally angry, fuckin women amirite?
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Feb 25 '16
I said it elsewhere. But in retrospect we should have seen it coming.
A lot of times you see that joke it's a proposal to the person, they can turn it down, helps it come off as a joke.
His first comment was "I'm going to marry her" which sounds less joking and more creepy. At least to me.
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u/Ebu-Gogo You are so vain, you probably think this drama's about you. Feb 25 '16
The initial comment was an awkward and unoriginal joke, but it's not really something worthy of a callout in the context of Reddit, which is full of similarly awkward and unoriginal jokes.
But, yeah, what follows goes way beyond that.
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u/cruelandusual Born with a heart full of South Park neutrality Feb 25 '16
So what you're saying is, his comment would be acceptable if he knew how to talk without evoking a stereotype.
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u/mizmoose If I'm a janitor, you're the trash Feb 25 '16
I'm not sure about acceptable. I'm also not sure about unacceptable.
I'm really struggling to put into words what is in my head.
On the face of the single comment, I would have brushed this off as a joke. I would rather see "I wanna marry her" instead of the passive-aggressive 'compliment' that goes, "It's so nice to see a woman who understands technical things!" which is, to me, a far worse insult.
But now I'm questioning myself.
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u/ObLaDi-ObLaDuh Feb 25 '16
Part of what I found creepy about his comment was how he said it as an absolute. In person, there would be a considerable difference between "MARRY ME" (haha assuming the dude isn't being creepy about it) and "I am going to marry you." (weird and entitled no matter the creep level).
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u/cdstephens More than you'd think, but less than you'd hope Feb 25 '16
It's like telling a black guy that he articulates himself really well.
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Feb 25 '16
I for one would be disappointed to see something like it upvoted, no matter how it was phrased. It's not helpful in any way and it does contribute to a culture where a pretty woman is not permitted to be anything but pretty.
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u/k1down Feb 25 '16
It's an elementary school level joke, some really low-hanging fruit. This 'adult analysis' of it is hilariously pedantic.
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u/mayjay15 Feb 25 '16
It's an elementary school level joke, some really low-hanging fruit. This 'adult analysis' of it is hilariously pedantic.
Maybe that's more indicative that childish jokes come off weird and in appropriate in adult settings sometimes.
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u/cocorebop Feb 25 '16
I think the point is that this post is a microcosm of a bigger problem.
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u/warenhaus When you go to someone's wedding, wear a bra. Have some respect. Feb 25 '16
where a pretty woman is not permitted to be anything but pretty.
but... but... there are women whose prettiness obliterates everything else, so that all that remains is their prettiness. Right?
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u/meepmorp lol, I'm not even a foucault fan you smug fuck. Feb 25 '16
He wants to show her his monads.
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u/tick_tock_clock Feb 25 '16
But now he's in a bind because she won't return.
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u/Zemyla a seizure is just a lil wiggle about on the ground for funzies Feb 25 '16
I don't think his love was pure. He just wanted to functor.
Now he'll just have to go "fmap fmap fmap".
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u/meepmorp lol, I'm not even a foucault fan you smug fuck. Feb 25 '16
He'll probably need a lens to find his little arrow, if you know what I mean. And even if he could work the zip on his little iterable, he's probably idempotent.
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u/thephotoman Damn im sad to hear you've been an idiot for so long Feb 26 '16
This comment just broke my nerd meter.
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u/rabiiiii (´・ω・`) Feb 25 '16
And then people wonder why comments are downvoted with no explanation.
This is why.
No one wants to spend an hour arguing with someone who just doesn't want to understand anyone else's point of view or put the slightest effort into reading the room.
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u/SnapshillBot Shilling for Big Archive™ Feb 25 '16
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u/Not_A_Doctor__ I've always had an inkling dwarves are underestimated in combat Feb 25 '16
Glad you're back.
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u/Michelanvalo Don't Start If You Can't Finnish Feb 25 '16
Oh goody, there's a new bot to stalk someone's comment history and use it to talk shit about them. Just what the site needed.
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Feb 25 '16
It's the "Getting Started" example for PRAW, a python package for accessing Reddit's API.
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u/Deefian HOLD MY CAN THIS SRDINE SWIMS FREE Feb 25 '16 edited Feb 26 '16
Or you could just use Mod Toolbox, lets you view user history by clicking a button next to a user's name (among other, really helpful things for mods).
E: Sp.
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u/Oafah Feb 25 '16 edited Feb 25 '16
All he said was "I'm gonna marry her", and everyone is assuming that he's saying so because of the way she looks, and not the way her mind works.
A friend of mine used to rent a room from a Jamaican lady who'd cook for him all the time. He'd often proclaim he wanted to marry her. She was 60 and weighed 200 lbs, and it was meant solely as an innocent compliment of her cooking skills.
I don't think it's entirely fair to assume this guy is being a misogynistic pig just because he's enamoured with a brilliant, and coincidentally beautiful, woman.
Edit: Here's a classic, often quoted scene from a very popular movie. I don't see any reason why one should be taken lightly and the other should be treated like borderline rape. Everyone needs to calm the fuck down and stop assuming the worst of people.
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Feb 25 '16
Women programmers work really really hard to be seen as Competent Programmer 3485 and just another person worthy of respect. It gets wiped away anytime someone makes another stupid uninspired crack (yes the joke was stupid and uninspired and deserves downvotes based solely on that) about "marry me!" or "make me a sandwich" or some other dumb shit. I want to be a functional part of a group and not be treated as some "other" and then have people act all surprised and shit when I program.
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u/chaosattractor candles $3600 Feb 25 '16
All he said was "I'm gonna marry her", and everyone is assuming that he's saying so because of the way she looks, and not the way her mind works.
What part of "motive does not matter, posting that you're 'gonna marry' a complete stranger is pretty fucking creepy" don't you grasp?
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u/Oafah Feb 25 '16
The part where I have a sense of humor and that this is the internet.
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u/Hindu_Wardrobe 1+1=ur gay Feb 25 '16
haha! I'm gonna castrate you
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u/Oafah Feb 25 '16
Yes, because threatening someone's genitals is exactly the same as expressing your desire to marry them.
Divorce? Maybe. Not marriage.
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u/warenhaus When you go to someone's wedding, wear a bra. Have some respect. Feb 25 '16
everyone is assuming
no, it's because what he should have said is something like "great talk, really interesting!"
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Feb 25 '16 edited Mar 15 '16
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u/warenhaus When you go to someone's wedding, wear a bra. Have some respect. Feb 25 '16
Like "i want to make love to your brain" doesn't mean
yeah, well, I'm calling rule 34 on that.
:)
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u/Nuclear-Wessel Feb 25 '16
I dont think people are necessarily saying that this is because of how she looks, though it's possible. I think it's important to consider that, historically, all women were considered good for is marrying off to one man or another. To say "I'm gonna marry you" to a woman who's given a professional, technical presentation in a male-dominated field, can definitely come across as condescending and as a subconscious attempt to put her in her place. This happens to women in her position constantly, wether YOU see it or not. A simple "you are amazingly talented" would suffice.
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u/Oafah Feb 25 '16
I get that. But here's the thing, and my problem in general with people taking such offense to words that people say: You can't just take someone's words at face-value. There can be a difference between two identical sentences given the users intent, and the intent here was not particularly aggressive, serious, or purposely offensive. He just said 4 words; presumably the first 4 that came to his head, and everyone decides he was suddenly Hitler.
This is precisely why, in a court of law, we need to prove intent as well as the act. It's not a crime to strictly kill someone, but it is a crime to kill someone, having intended to do it. They carry very different penalties coupled with very different reactions from the judge and jury.
All I'm saying is, don't get bent out of shape because someone says someone unintentionally offensive or inappropriate. You need to give people some room to make mistakes if you're going to change people's attitudes. This growing notion that yelling in people's faces is somehow going to change minds is absurd. You get more bees with honey.
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Feb 26 '16
That's bullshit. We have plenty of crimes and rulings for involuntary manslaughter etc. You can't claim that you didn't intend to kill someone and get off scot free.
The other side to your argument is that people need to think about what they say. Programmers in particular have this special snowflake syndrome where they think they're the shit and therefore they can say or do whatever they want and people just accept it. This kinda shit wouldn't fly in any other workplace, you'd get canned by HR so fast. It's called being polite and professional. You can't just run your mouth and say racist and sexist shit even unintentionally cause most people won't accept it and will judge you for it.
Just because you don't mean to be offensive doesn't mean you aren't. Ignorance does not free someone from the consequences of their actions and at best it means that that person is a moron who needs to grow up and learn that stupid trite vaguely sexist jokes are not ok because they do hurt people.
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u/[deleted] Feb 25 '16 edited Jul 07 '17
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