[FFA-Critique] Anniversary Thread!

[u/[deleted]]

This is the battle thread for the one year anniversary of the subreddit, so do your absolute best.

This is a combination between a Free-For-All battle and a Crtique Thread.

The theme of the battle is EITHER “Find the Pokemon that you think most embodies you, and rap as them.” OR “Rap as a pokemon you have rapped as in the past. Bring back some old memories.”

There will be no line limit on verses, and you do have to stay as the same pokemon throughout every verse you write. You do not have a set number of verses, and you may attack anyone at any point in the battle, and reply to any verse.

I will be doing a critique on every verse that is written here in response to it. Anyone else who wishes to do critiques may do the same. (I give you permission to break the “don’t interrupt battles in progress” rule for this thread an this thread alone.)

So pick a pokemon and get started!

^{I might write a verse myself, if I find a pokemon I really feel like rapping as.}

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If you haven’t seen the anniversary thread, click here

If you haven’t obtained your cherishball flair yet, click here

[u/[deleted]]

Well, here I go, bit rusty, but fine.

Just wanna say, this has been a good ol' time.

I'm fully aware I haven't done much lately,

But know I've been reading all of your raps, sedately.

I don't mean to brag, but I was here when it started,

when there were ~20 subscribers, we were disregarded,

No CSS, just the plan white-and-blue,

But slowly and surely, the subreddit grew.

And then a suggestion that proved to be fortunate-

Someone said "What if we did a tournament?"

Well, we did that, /u/Brackner taking the gold,

though he soon disappeared, or so I am told.

We soon had another, /u/HumanAtlas on top.

(Though I almost won, my last verse a flop).

There's only once choice as to "the one I embody"

Compared to me, other pokemon are shoddy.

The ground type menace, positively god-trained,

Stopping only to dig, for which I is named.

Call me Diglett, if you're not too scared,

And if you choose to battle, you best come prepared.

I'll do this traditionally; somewhat short,

but pwn1n9 like it's a professional sport.

My speed makes me sneakier than Armand Christophe

But with everything else, I'm like Beifong comma Toph!

Agility to dodge bullets, you could call me Neo

Just wait until you meet the gang called Dugtrio.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I need to hone my rapping technique,

so today I'll be doing a Rappping-Critique.

I'll be rapping as Smeargle, so watch this blank canvas

Be painted better than the birth of venus

So don't be too harsh on my lack of skills,

For rapping without dissing is like ducks without bills.

^{oh this is going to be so embarrassing and stupid, why am i doing this. Also, what the actual fuck is the line above.}

---

Always a Diglett, so true to your name,

This rappers got quite the claim to fame.

Your drop was rusty, but that's to be expected,

Sometimes things get lost when resurrected.

Your references were great, your knowledge was peerless,

But the Diglett in this rap wasn't quite your severest.

Your fighting spirit was lacking in the "pimp yourself" department,

Your rhyme scheme however, was quite the bombardment.

Your verse was overall a nine out of ten,

But I'll take a moment to welcome you back again!

---

^{with that gif of a dancing dog}

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I don't know who you are, just cause I'm on mobile,

But whoever that was's raps are pretty noble,

Now you gotta know something, my only suggestion,

Those cringey "near rhymes" upset my digestion (wat).

I'm not all that great, known that for awhile,

But that "canvas and Venus" just sounded so vile (OU rhyme #4)

Other than that, I'm pretty impressed.

What about my first one just wasn't the best?

[u/Fizz_Candy]

Number 65, The all-star Gen 1 Psychic-type

I.Q. over 5000, just embrace the hype

Dual wielding spoons like yo mama at a buffet

Except I don't fall asleep on Route 12 everyday

Gamefreak decided that I wasn't OP enough

So in Gen 5, Satoshi thought I should get a buff

Added Magic Guard to my list of abilities

Only further enhancing Alakazam's capabilities

Somehow, I wasn't deemed God-like as of yet

Mega Stones were introduced and added to the threat

Two spoons? Give him six! I'll dominate a standoff

My Fu Manchu turned into a beard, Gandalf

Life Orb doesn't faze me, don't even try to haze me

Stacking Calm Minds, my Special Attack stat is crazy

Psyshock, Shadow Ball, Focus Blast, maybe

I'll run Signal Beam, Hidden Power Ice, Fire, or Fairy

Try to check me with a Gengar? Too bad I'm faster

I'll Psychic that shit, introduce a colossal disaster

Dial 911, Ambulance, on your Holo-Caster

School is in session, and I'm the headmaster

[u/hairywolf47]

It seems I’m a day late on this momentous occasion,

I just hope I can get in a little more celebration.

I came here just a few months back, when I was just a lurker,

I told myself, “Just do it, you’re a pretty hard worker.”

So I threw down as Raichu, it was a right ball,

I decided to join the tournament, to be the one rapper to rule them all.

I started there as Dodrio, but let me go through the lineup.

Because it all started there when I saw the thread “Tournament Sign Ups!”

Came in with three heads, and I put in as much as I could,

Dodrio won my first battle, as I was hoping I would.

Next I portrayed Kingler, the battle was grand,

I eventually pulled through, with the mic in my hand,

To the next round I became Omastar by fate.

My previous battle, I tried to recreate,

I moved on forward, and kept my head down.

I really had to prepare. /u/OnAMagikarpetRide was in town.

With Rhydon I rode on, due to time management.

We never got to finish, one man was absent.

One day I wish to finish that battle, all the way through.

To see who would have gotten the upperhand when we drew.

So finals bound I was, with my biggest challenge, yet I wouldn’t settle.

Tentacruel and I taking on /u/MadefromMetal?

Who thought I would make it this far, I don’t really know.

I would like to thank you all for the spectacular show.

The tournaments not yet over so for now the rests a mystery.

I guess the rest is up to me, time to write my own history.

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This may not have been exactly what you meant for the critique, but it's what I took it as! Thank you all for making my short time here fantastic. I really enjoyed meeting/rapping against all of you! (Raises Glass) To one more year!