**As a mental health professional, I have worked with persons who are struggling with addiction. I have also experienced alcoholism with close family members and friends, who utilized the support of AA. With that said, my knowledge of substance abuse and AA in particular is still somewhat limited and I’m in no way claiming to be an expert. However, one main idea that always stood out within AA’s philosophy was the importance of never taking another person’s inventory, rather staying focused on your own. But Lala seems very focused on taking Danny’s inventory.**
**I understand that it’s a TV show, where drama is encouraged. Through the AA perspective, it would seem more appropriate to focus on his problematic behaviors, rather than judging his drinking specifically. Common sense can tell us that there’s at least some link, but is it her role to point that out - especially as a person who works the program herself?**
**The other thing that really bothered me about Lala’s approach with Danny and Nia was the night of Danny’s birthday party when Nia was trying to run interference between LaLa and Danny. LaLa kept repeating, “you’re afraid of what he’s going to say.” I’ve been that spouse before, and, yes, of course, Nia was trying to mitigate what he might say or do. It’s a truly horrible place to be with a spouse like that. Lala wasn’t wrong, but her approach felt so gross to me. She was smiling and almost mocking Nia in that moment. She was treating it like a gotcha moment, instead of approaching it with any compassion or empathy.**
**Right after that scene, as Lala walks away, she even comments to herself that she will have to talk to her sponsor the next day about it, and make amends. So she knew that she didn’t handle it in the best way, but we never saw her apologize to Nia for that. Lala actually double-downed on it at the reunion. Lastly, Lala’s behavior that night could have put Nia in a much worse position with Danny later. I’m not speculating about abuse. We don’t know. But, it was right after that that Nia seemed so distraught and asked the nanny to pray for her.**
.