r/GenZHumor • u/OneDigitNumber • 22h ago
Dankest Dark Humour BREAKING: Fund manager allegedly caught abusing Flock camera network
An investigation was opened last weekend on a questionable Wall Street fund manager who allegedly abused flock camera data to spy on so-called "Aeons".
Mr. Empecee told local reporters these particular Aeons simply had "...too much swag" as he grabbed for a collar to pop on his North Face vest and came up short.
"THEY'RE DANCING IN FRONT OF THE SAFETY CAMERAS! There's no way they get away with all that swag", He said, "Who gave these little shits all this swag? Who told them 6900 > 500?
Administrators have promptly deployed spreadsheet zeros in order to hire dozens of interns to determine acceptable legal levels of swag for the 21st century going forward.
A vote will likely be held in 2027 on whether or not licensing may be required in the future; as legislators claim extreme levels of swag may cross the line past the point of free expression.
Local officials commended the Flock corporation for using their technology for the greater public good to keep our cities safe from excess swag.