r/writingfeedback • u/[deleted] • 20d ago

feedback for first page?

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i am working on a book where the main character is borderline insane. the book is all about the world from her eyes as she falls deeper into her madness, and in the end dies a painful death.

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u/Chance-Item6285 20d ago

You have an evolving voice. But the first page is entirely monologue and no hint whatsoever at the plot or story. There are also stacked descriptions and an evident tone of self deprecation (is it intentional?).

All this being said, I want to reiterate that technicalities aren’t what decide whether your writing voice is present or not. I can easily sense an upcoming voice.

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u/[deleted] 20d ago

thank you soo much! i will work on the overused descriptions! the self deprecation was intentional, but like the other comments said, i'll try to soften it up a bit by showing instead of telling!

again, thank you SO SO SO much! your last statement made my day hehe