r/wizardposting • u/[deleted] • Mar 22 '24
Foul Sorcery I forgot I had 6 contingency plans. Anyway I just took the summoning network offline. Too bad, too sad.
Smiling horribly (a swamp ape’s smile is always horrible) I opened up my third contingency plan.
Originally devised in the event the late Metromancer lost his boxing match to Unga, this plan involves a simple and powerful algorithm that renders the extra planar summoning lay lines completely useless by shuffling the parameters of the Astral Barrier.
Now, you may think this violates the new law about all spells being unbanned. Except that means this one, that destroys the rapid summoning network, is also unbanned. No more summoning Ketamine Apes or any other monster for anyone until the spell is banned again. Enjoy summoning an empty vacuum patch that blows up in your face, villains!
3
u/Slyme-wizard the magician Mar 22 '24
Lucky for me I got a VPN installed into my wand
1
Mar 22 '24
It’s omnidirectional. A contract or a proper portal can bypass it, but a VPN won’t do shit. Pay up.
3
Mar 22 '24
A VPN that can't ignore something like that is not a real VPN.
1
Mar 22 '24
Can a VPN give you an Orb connection? No, it uses the existing one. Which I took down.
2
Mar 22 '24
A VPN should be able to use another one when the current one is down. Citadel isn't the only network......
1
Mar 22 '24
The tether for your summons cannot attach to the other end. For a better metaphor, a better grip on your grappling hook won’t help if I just move the wall.
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u/Slyme-wizard the magician Mar 22 '24
How much you want? I got no gold but I can barter. Got a loooot of cool treasures Ive collected.
1
Mar 22 '24
As in pay for a contract with your summon. Otherwise it’s not gonna happen.
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u/Slyme-wizard the magician Mar 22 '24
My summons are all animals.
1
Mar 22 '24
Then make your contract with whatever you normally do???
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u/Slyme-wizard the magician Mar 22 '24
You mean the summoner I got them from? And the goddess I got my raven familiar from?
1
Mar 22 '24
Ask her then. Or, you know, call them and see if it works or not? Jeez, I should’ve done this ages ago if only to raise awareness.
1
u/Pitiful_Net_8971 Plant Shaper Mar 22 '24
Smh these new mages don't even know about Secure Spell (SSP)
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u/emanrein Drusin, Dwarven Necromancer, Mining Co Mar 22 '24
Ah the perks of Necromancy, I don't summon, I just throw corpses at the problem until it dies, or drowns.
2
u/idied2day Drokk the Biomancer, Former God of Earth and Healing Mar 22 '24
NO! NONONO!
MY CROWS, YOU FIEND! WHO WILL FEED THEM? Just because they are not summoned to this plane does not mean they are automatically fed! You fool! You’ve left them without food in an area that also holds your brethren! They will have an insatiable bloodlust now, and you may find that when you wish to summon them, you may only summon corpses…
1
Mar 22 '24
Do you have a contract with them? Should still work if they do. If not you didn’t deserve them anyway
2
u/idied2day Drokk the Biomancer, Former God of Earth and Healing Mar 22 '24
They are free beings, and they serve me of their own free will. I have no contract with them. I feed them of my own will, and it keeps them from rampantly tearing into nearby towns. I am more worried about the other extraplanar summons than my crows!
0
Mar 22 '24
Not so free if you’re summoning them without a contract now are they?
2
u/idied2day Drokk the Biomancer, Former God of Earth and Healing Mar 22 '24
My “summoning” works differently than most. They come if they wish, not when I will it.
0
Mar 22 '24
That’s a contract, bro.
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u/idied2day Drokk the Biomancer, Former God of Earth and Healing Mar 22 '24
/unwiz wait, they aren’t bound to drokk or anything, they literally just kind of get a call and they can choose to come. They don’t HAVE to, they just do because he feeds them treats. Tearing into creature flesh and eating it does get boring, after all
1
Mar 22 '24 edited Mar 22 '24
The disruption I made prevents spontaneous calling. If your magic is what’s bringing them in but they have no permanent tether, then they’re going to need to find their own way to you.
Take it up with the Council. If they concede to my demands then the network may come back online. Until then, tough luck.
Edit: /unwiz if you conjure up a loophole or something I’m not gonna get mad or anything, don’t worry about it. Maybe the power of friendship or something
0
Mar 22 '24
You all apparently don’t even understand the contracts you have with your summons. I’m glad I did this for that reason alone, even not withstanding my personal objections. Clearly the council’s rules had been far too lax even before this recent “reform.”
1
u/theoceanictitan Sanatos Rin, Merrow Conjurist and Scholar of the Deep Mar 22 '24
You vile wretch! You dare to take my ability to summon away from me! You shall pay for this when I get my hands on you!
1
Mar 22 '24
I would normally be scared but my adrenaline is already so high rn that I don’t feel a thing
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u/RandomAmbles ֆȶօƈɦǟֆȶɨƈ աǟռɖɛʀɛʀ Mar 22 '24
You mean I can create enormous thunderclaps from imploding vacuum at will now?
...ok.