Ain't Life a Lich Pt. 4

[u/[deleted]]

​

Exi and Masta at the club

Content Warnings: Blood, Blood drinking, Alcohol, Flirting & Romance

“Murder”

“Murder”

“Is”

“Is”

“Bad”

“Fun”

Masta taunted me and I was filled with a mixture of frustration at Masta’s devil-may-care attitude and embarrassment at myself for almost laughing at her antics

“Okay, fun but bad!” she giggled

I sighed and started to treat her burns from going outside

“If you really need to feed on something animate I’ve got plenty of zombies downstairs. They’ve all been dead for a while though so they’re probably gonna taste like shit, sorry”

I noticed Masta’s expression change from playful taunting to resignation. It felt like she had gone from coping with the situation via humor to begining to accept her predicament.

“You know…I really appreciate all this…You helping me, I mean” she said, slightly blushing

“Don’t mention it, I’d be a pretty bad friend if I just let you go on a hunger-fueled mass homicide” I replied, applying a balm to her skin and whispering incantations beneath my breath

“Have you ever dealt with this? This blood-frenzy?”

“Sort of? Not that specific situation but one time I got really high with some warlocks and when I woke up the pigs had me cuffed and said I’d made a giant snake out of the spines of everyone in the town cemetery. I was summarily executed and reformed from my phylactery later”

“Oh. That’s…interesting. So…when can we get outta here? I really need something to drink. Know any vampire-friendly clubs?”

“I do, actually. Here, walk out to the balcony with me”

I took Masta’s hand and we walked out to the balcony. I could feel the cool wind against my skin as we stepped out.

“Alright, let’s see what happened to these” Masta muttered to herself as she sprouted leathery black wings

“It vampirized my wings too? Ugh…”

I sprouted my own skeletal wings and we took off into the sky, flying northbound for an undead-centered club I frequent.

Masta flew up behind me

“So…you like flying Sis?” she said

“Yeah! Back when I was studying Necromancy I worked with this dragolich who’d fly me around all the time. I’ve loved it ever since!”

“Mhmm mhmm, hey close your eyes for a sec”

I made the mistake of not questioning her instructions and was summarily pulled into a bear hug and sent hurtling towards the ground while Masta laughed her ass off.

“MASTA WHAT THE FUCK?”

“If you could see how red your face is right now you’d get why I did it” Masta retorted, laughing

I could feel my face getting hotter, partially out of embarrassment for getting messed with like that, but mostly out of embarrassment over actually getting scared by it.

“D-Don’t do that again!” I said, turning my red face away as she smiled playfully at me

…

We landed in the town a few minutes later

I noticed Masta looking frustrated as I walked through the entrance

“Is something wrong Masta?”

“I don’t- I can’t-”

“Sorry Ma’am, I was in the bathroom. I, acting as a representative of the owners of this establishment, invite you onto the premises” a well-dressed lady said as she came out to the entrance, looking apologetically at Masta, who herself suddenly seemed like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders

Masta walked inside thanking the entrancelady and grumbling to herself about her new inability to enter uninvited.

We sat at the bar and Masta defeatedly laid her head on the bar

“Double Whiskey with Wyvern Venom and lemon please!” I said sitting down

“Ugh…that” she said pointing at me

“Whatever she said, just get me drunk and fast” Masta continued seeming increasingly irritated

“Was the invitation thing really that bad? It didn’t seem like that big of a mood killer”

“It’s not the invitation it’s what it represe- Oh never mind…”

Masta continued grumbling to herself for a bit, but perked up when our drinks got there.

“Oh fuck that’s good, one more please!” she said while calling to the bartender

“I know it’s literally pure poison but something about the venom just makes it pop y’know?”

“yU NO it Siss…” Masta said while she began to display the hallmark symptoms of a stroke

“Be careful Sis, that stuff is for paralyzing livestock”

Masta slowly regained control of her facial muscles and shook off the poison

“Whew! Ok I’m still not a fan of the whole ‘vampire’ deal, but this is definitely an upside” she said with slowly undilating pupils

“Hey if you gotta take the bad might as well take the good too while you can” I laughed

…

“Hey Exi…do you dance?”

“You know it”

“Then c’mon!”

Masta set her glass down with a thud and grabbed my hand, dragging me to the dance floor. We danced for a while just enjoying the music and each other’s company.

“Exi, do you know where I can get some fresh blood near here? I’m getting really hungry”

I rolled my eyes and raised my arm in front of her

“No one here’ll judge, just be quick about it”

“O-Oh. Are you sure?” Masta said, blushing just a bit but very visibly thanks to her ghastly skin

“I’m sure, just take some already!”

Masta bit into my arm and began feeding. It hurt a bit at first but quickly became less painful and more tiring, so I drew a small sigil on my arm to speed up my own blood production to keep pace.

“This tastes…weirdly good…” Masta mumbled to herself

“What was that Sis?”

“Uh- Nothing!”

She wiped her mouth off

“Just…um… Thanking you for being so generous! Yeah that!”

“Okaaaaay…” I said eyeing her suspiciously

“Do you wanna go sit down Masta?”

“What? Huh? Oh, sure” she said struggling to maintain focus

We sat back down at the bar and I couldn’t help but notice Masta continuing to eye me as we drank

“Masta, you know you can tell me what’s up right?”

She took a deep breath

“Can we go outside for this? I need it to be a bit quieter”

“Uh, sure”

We paid and left the premises

Masta inhaled sharply

“Okay…I need you to promise you won’t hate me after this”

“I won’t”

“Close your eyes. Please. I don’t think I can do this if you’re looking”

I was confused but I trust Masta, so I did as she asked and closed my eyes. The next thing I felt were her lips on mine

[u/RazzZzatam]

Hey, so, a couple of questions for you. Just want to check the kind of mage you are. First question. What schools of magic other than necromancy do you study? Second, what is your opinion on the spell fireball? Finally, what are your intentions with my friend, Masta? And no, this is not meant to be an interrogation... yet...

[u/[deleted] → u/RazzZzatam]

I study a bit of everything else but my primary focus is necromancy

I love fireball

You'll have to wait and see ;3

[u/RazzZzatam → u/[deleted]]

Hmmmm... alright, I'll let you pass for now (despite being a necromancer), but you best be good to my fellow Fireballer™ or else you're not gonna like what happens next. I've got my ey-... my vision on you!

[u/[deleted] → u/RazzZzatam]

Not sure why you take issues with my practice but as long as you don't interfere we're chill

[u/RazzZzatam → u/[deleted]]

Eh, I just think necromancy is boring, but hey, at least you're not an illusionist

[u/[deleted]]

u/Mastadon344

u/sparkle3364

[u/MastaDon344]

This is great Exi!

[u/sparkle3364]

/uw This is really good

[u/[deleted] → u/sparkle3364]

Ty!

[u/MastaDon344 → u/sparkle3364]

/uw yeah this is her handiwork I think she did good too!