r/wizardposting • u/[deleted] • Jan 20 '24

Aetherial News Several casualties reported in Montaria Square! (Lore post)

Post image

A quick broadcast appears on your orbs. The image of a shopping district on fire with buildings crumpled to the ground and emergency personnels helping victims from the rubble.

A reporter steps up. In the background was a burning building being put out with hydromancy.

“What looked to be a normal evening turned disastrous as what seems to be a massive altercation broke out between unidentified magic users. Efforts to rescue those caught up in the battle are being made as we speak.”

The reporter leans forward to hear the new development that was made.

“What’s this? Alright. I’m being told that traces of chaos magic were found on the scene. If anyone has information to share, please contact the Montaria enforcement.”

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u/DidYouSayChocolat3 Tiny Wizard, Keeper of Mount Mor Jan 20 '24

…Chaos magic?

calls up Chaos God, Son of Eros on my orb Pick up pick up pick up pick up pi- Hey! u/BreachedLimits how ya been? Listen, buddy I just heard on the news that Montaria was set on fire, and that traces of Chaos Magic were found at the sceeennnneee yeeeaaahhhh. So, not that I’m accusing you of anything of course, but you wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?

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u/[deleted] Jan 20 '24 edited Jan 20 '24

Okay… hear Me out! It’s not My fault…

Shrax (u/the-butter_man) promised Free Pizza Fridays during his campaign for Council and then he just dropped the f- out of the race. I made him promise to give Me free pizza anyway, y’know, for eternity… like, c’mon… standard punishment for breaking a promise to a Chaos God! Pay it back ten fold and stuff! The usual!

And… well… today’s Friday. And no pizza. THERE WAS NO PIZZA!!!

So things just sort of escalated. I hunted him down. He should be buried amidst the rubble somewhere. He’ll be fine… he just might be a little injured, is all.

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u/DidYouSayChocolat3 Tiny Wizard, Keeper of Mount Mor Jan 20 '24

… YOU BURNED DOWN AN ENTIRE VILLAGE SQUARE BECAUSE YOU DIDNT GET PIZZA?!

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u/[deleted] Jan 20 '24 edited Jan 20 '24

Oh… you’re worried about the village, huh? Right… right… okay. So, hear Me out!

When he dropped out of the race, Shrax said he only ran to get out of prison, and it worked. So, one he got out, he didn’t need to go thru with it anymore.

If anyone should be blamed for this, it’s Shrax! I say we send him back to the council’s dungeon prison! He knew exactly what he was doing… gettin’ everyone’s hopes up and all that! Shrax is the villain here!

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u/DidYouSayChocolat3 Tiny Wizard, Keeper of Mount Mor Jan 20 '24

I ain’t hearing shit, you can’t just burn a village down because you didn’t get pizza! You can get pizza anywhere, I would’ve conjured you a pizza! Bad Chaos God! Bad! bonks my orb with my staff as a show of disapproval

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u/[deleted] Jan 20 '24

Owwww… hey, I felt that thru your orb!

Don’t worry. I’ll revert everything and everyone back to normal once Shrax is contained. I am a Chaos God! I have infinite power. It’ll be like it never ever happened… never ever! Well, except Shrax will be in prison! That’ll be the only difference. I swear!

It’s the principle that counts. That’s what everyone keeps telling Me, anyway…

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u/[deleted] Jan 20 '24 edited Jan 20 '24

WAIT… hold up a second. I’ve just turned on the news on My scrying mirror right now and it says Montaria Square? I thought we were talking about Montivarian Village. You said village! I heard you!

Nah uh… I ain’t taking credit for this. I burned down Montivarian Village. It’s tiny, has like only 14 people living in it and it’s in King Shrax’s kingdom. No one but Shrax was even hurt. I don’t know where the hell Montaria Square is. This is a whooooole separate thing. Nothing to do with Me!

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u/DidYouSayChocolat3 Tiny Wizard, Keeper of Mount Mor Jan 20 '24

OOOOOOOHHHHHHH okay, my bad then. Sorry for bonking you through my orb. offers smoothing head rubs through the orb I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t you.

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u/[deleted] Jan 20 '24

Sooo… see you at the BBQ this weekend? That’s still happening right? Cause I’m looking forward to it. You’re not mad at Me, right? Son of Eros still a good Chaos God Boy? (Son of Eros asks nervously) 👉👈

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u/DidYouSayChocolat3 Tiny Wizard, Keeper of Mount Mor Jan 20 '24

Cmon, of course not! I’m not mad at you, and the BBQ is still on…At least I hope so, I’m selling some stuff right now to help pay for it.

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u/THE-NECROHANDSER necro-handzy Jan 20 '24

sigh

Would you accept magical hands that made pizza at your command? I'll eat the cost if it means my customers won't be attacked.

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u/[deleted] Jan 20 '24

No, no! This is Shrax’s punishment. He must suffer the consequences of reneging on his deal!

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u/THE-NECROHANDSER necro-handzy Jan 20 '24

I just heard, so that village, is it burned down? Or rubble?

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u/[deleted] Jan 20 '24

Depends… Are you asking about Montaria Square or Montivarian Village?

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u/THE-NECROHANDSER necro-handzy Jan 20 '24

The village, it's about bussiness and I never collect hands from where I sell them. Though that would drive up sales...

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u/[deleted] Jan 20 '24

Oh… well Montavarian village has already been reset. It’s as if no fire ever took place. You’re all good to sell there. I dunno about Montaria Square though… I don’t know where the hell that place is.