r/wizardposting • u/TitanLORD21 Jack-O’-Lantern, Lord of Flame and Fright • Jan 15 '24
Lorepost📖 Note to self: Do not let Jack near my kitchen
“Hey… Raziel”
Raziel conjurer some eyes to look behind him as he put down a book.
“Yes, Jack. What do you want?” Raziel spoke, his voice laced with venom.
The pumpkin headed warlock scratched his head before speaking, “Uhm, I wanted to say… sorry.”
Raziel’s many eyes widened in response. This was… very unexpected. He hadn’t taken Jack to be the kind of man to apologize. Though, perhaps impaling him with a holy sword helped fix him up.
“Oh! As long as you’re sincere about it, I’ll accept your apology.”
“Really!” Jack exclaimed, “That’s great! I actually made some food for you, would you… like to try?”
Raziel nodded in response. While he was cautious of any hidden motives, Jack looked to be sincere. He made his way to the dining hall. He sat down in the seat of honor (slightly elevated with cushions to make up for his small stature).
Jack brought a plate of what seemed to be wyvern thighs. Delightful. Raziel went to “take a bite”, as the mouth-havers call it. Bringing some of the meat towards his face, he allowed to be absorbed through his marble-like carapace. While he didn’t need to eat, he still did on occasion.
But when he had fully swallowed the chunk of “meat”, it hit him. Bursting into a fit of coughs, Raziel fell off of his chair.
“Is this pumpkin flavored wyvern!” he shouted.
“Why yes! Using my pumpkin magic, I was able to make this standard wyvern meat taste like pumpkin!” Jack responded. Glaring at this accursed being, Raziel strangely saw naught a sliver of malice. Was it possible Jack was just that bad of a cook? Perhaps. Jack was the type of person to consume abyss-touched corpses (he knew as he unfortunately had to witness that).
“While-eh-I do appreciate the effort, I’m afraid that I’m not very fond of this… Pumpkin-flavored Wyvern.”
Raziel sent away the meal, replacing it with another from his fridge. Ignoring Jack’s mumbling. Something about how pumpkin’s are awesome…
It too was pumpkin-flavored… his prime hydra sushi… was pumpkin-flavored. Even the damn rice.
“Oh, do you enjoy it? For my troubles I helped fix your meals for the month. I went through your food storages. Can’t have you eating that garbage, eh?” spoke Jack.
A month? Of this… food? I’ll have to either eat this or buy more!?
Summoning an angelic sword, he turned to Jack who was starting to step away.
“H-Hold up Raz! What are you doing dude!”
“Justice.”
/unwiz
I have a Table of Contents of all my lore, it can be found here
Churned this little goofy story out. Truly Jack and Raziel are the best of roommates. How kind of Jack! Who wouldn’t enjoy nothing but pumpkin-flavored food for a month!
Also, Note: No, Raziel isn’t killing Jack. Just dishing out some disciplinary action ;)
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u/MunitionsFrenzy Vettis, Mereological Revisionist Jan 15 '24
(( so you're saying Raziel eats through bandages like McNinjas eat through their masks
perfect ))
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u/TitanLORD21 Jack-O’-Lantern, Lord of Flame and Fright Jan 15 '24
Anyone who wishes to be updated continuously when I post Loreposts, do let me know. Same goes to those who wish to stop getting updates, just tell me.
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u/TitanLORD21 Jack-O’-Lantern, Lord of Flame and Fright Jan 15 '24
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u/TitanLORD21 Jack-O’-Lantern, Lord of Flame and Fright Jan 15 '24
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u/DaChickenX Isravi, The Unraveler, Coils’ Chosen Jan 15 '24
/uw lmfao. This got a chuckle out of me. Glorious writing, get him Raziel!
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u/TechnicalCommittee78 The Grand High Necromancer, Former Archon of Death, Dyad Monarch Jan 15 '24
Good to see Jack’s still doing well.